Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas… Entering Its 3rd Decade

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When they talk about marathon games, this is what they had in mind…

In Part 29 Benvenuto left the field of battle over the Duchy of Apulia and province of Bari to his minions, in order to manage affairs of state at home. Once there he set about a plot to marry his son to Flandina, the beautiful heir of Apulia, imprisoned in the di Parma dungeons. It turned out that her brother, the Duke of Apulia refused to consent to the marriage. He was removed from power, di Parma style, now Flandina resides over the Apulia duchy and awaits our proposal. In this part, I honestly have no idea how to explain it

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Turns out Flandina thinks she’s too posh for the di Parmas too – it’s a no from her

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Having chosen the dress, the flowers, the horses and the fancy honeymoon Benvenuto broke off the previously arranged marriage to the di Luccas having seen Flandina’s perfect CV. Now he goes back cap in hand to get a wife for his son.

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The Croatians finally give up the fight and hand over Bari to……….. wait, who? Frery? Benvenuto’s facepalm can be heard from two hundred miles away as he realises he fought a claim for Frery’s right to Bari and not his own – various minor diplomats wake up to horse’s heads in their bed.

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The Chancellor is sent to Bari to forge some proper claims before he finds his own concrete diving boots on the doorstep

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Ten months after accidentally installing his friend Frery as the Count of Bari, Benvenuto does what he does best, he declares war to get his land back

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A grandson, a son for Oberto and an extension of the line

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Eight thousand Muslims appear off the coast of Apulia and invade Bari before Benvenuto can get there. Frery begs for the Emporer’s help and gets it….. picture if you will Benvenuto sat on his horse in front of four thousand troops, looking east at eight thousand angry Muslims and north at twenty five thousand angry Germans – and been potentially at war with both of them…….

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……and then the Muslims call it a draw and go home.

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The mists gently part before Captain Giovanni, commander of the Salerno 1st Army. Amongst the whisps and curls of ethereal fog he catches occassional glimpses of his liege, Benvenuto as he walks up the hill. Standing at the top of Caspian Hill overlooking Bari stands Benvenuto, dew has formed on his armour, his pennants fluttering in the breeze. Giovanni finally reaches him, his Lord looks blinkingly at him, his brow furrowed. ‘WTF, Giovanni, I mean just, WTF?’ Giovanni shrugs, ‘Shall we invade Sicily instead?’

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‘A holy war you say?’ says the Lord Spiritual, ‘In that case, forget your mustachioed heroes of wherever, we can hire…………….. THE KNIGHTS TEMPLARRRRRRR!!!!’

Benvenuto right there invents the fist bump

 


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