Category Archives: Zombie Apocalypse

Grogheads Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide! Hail, Hail, The Gang’s All Here

Imperial guards

I always hated the oft quoted (and misquoted) phrase; “No man is an island”.  No man is a pizza, either.  But I do get the sentiment.  Essentially it means that being part of a team is better than being alone.  And that is absolutely true when the thin veneer of society falls away.  When things are bad, a team is essential to survival. Mad Max roaming the dystopian wasteland wouldn’t last long at all. Movies and TV often feature the sole figure surviving alone, but one guy out in the wild can’t stand guard while he sleeps, can’t flank an enemy and has no contingency plan for unexpected mayhem.  There are loads of other things one person can’t do, not to mention it can get lonely as hell when the only other beings out there want to kill you and or eat you.  Having a team is probably one of the factors that most greatly increases the odds of survival during very bad times. Your immediate family may be that team, but then again, it may not.

Imperial guards

The post-apocalyptic family

By: Jonathan Glazer

Grogheads Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide! Roger Wilco Zulu Alpha

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You can practice marksmanship for years on end and stockpile freeze dried food and fish antibiotics in ridiculous quantities, but your chance of survival alone is small.  Being part of a team when the flesh eaters start to hunt you is probably the single most important determinant of whether or not you will be able to make it past the breakers and continue breathing.  For now, I won’t go into how to build a team and who to include.  I want to talk about communications.  If you are part of a team, hell, even if you aren’t part of a team, you will need to communicate with others.  And this means beyond shouting distance.  Communications, or “comms” for short, cover how individuals and groups transmit messages and ideas from one point to another.  There are two components to comms, transmitting and receiving.  Someone has to send up the smoke signals and someone has to interpret them.  Whether it is two people speaking face to face or on cell phones, the principles are the same.  In fact, we as a society have become so dependent on cell phones, that we have forgotten how to communicate in other more traditional ways.  As they say, everything old is new again.  Cell phones will be paperweights once society crashes.  The infrastructure required to keep them all functioning will come crashing down once things go bad.

09 communication sign2

By: Jonathan Glazer

Do Zombies Drink Corona? The Zombie Survival Blog Returns!

ace hardware zombie

It has been quite some time since my last communication in this blog.  It hasn’t been because there was nothing more to say.  I was just focused on surviving.  And then world events popped up and made all of us think about survival.  Even the hermit living at the top of a mountain knows about the pandemic that crashed through world economies like a wrecking ball.  In a perfect world, politics would have no place in health discussions, but this issue has become so highly politicized that it is difficult to focus solely on the facts.  Regardless of whether you feel that this was a health crisis that threatened the lives of you and your family members or that it was an overblown reaction engineered for a political outcome, readers of this series will agree that it has to make us think about what to do for the next pandemic.

ace hardware zombie

By: Jonathan Glazer

The Zombie Apocalypse, Part 14: Pets Pets Pets

The Zombie Apocalypse Series returns! ~

Jonathan Glazer, 21 April 2017

Having pets happens to be a big feature of American culture. Whether we are talking about dogs, cats, birds, fish, chinchilla, ferrets or llamas, keeping and caring for other life forms is extremely common and quite engraved in the American way. This does not mean it is something peculiar to The United States. Many countries have a strong tradition of pet ownership. I was in Argentina recently and I was struck by the number of dog walkers with large packs of canines wandering the many scenic parts in Buenos Aires. However, there are counties without a strong tradition of pet ownership. China is an example. Dogs and cats are viewed somewhat differently there. This brings us to my disclaimer. While most of the columns in this series are less than pleasant, this one in particular is sure to offend some. If you cannot discuss unpleasant things happening to animals intellectually without having an overwhelming emotional response, stop reading now and wait for the next installment. I will try to be sensitive, but this is still going to be a difficult topic.

The Zombie Apocalypse, Part 13: Love and the Undead

The Zombie Apocalypse Series returns! ~

Jonathan Glazer, 21 April 2017

The dead have risen with a taste for our yummy flesh. Beyond feeding ourselves gathering other supplies and killing zombies, what is our next priority? Well, if you believe most TV shows and movies about this topic, you would probably say finding a hot hookup ranks at the top of the list. Romance seems to be a big thing among apocalyptic survivors in the minds of screenwriters. Will the dystopian future be a great time for grabbing a little something-something? I hate to be the burster of bubbles, but losing our technology and societal support infrastructure will probably have the opposite effect. The reasons for this are many. Chief among them would be our focus on just plain trying to stay alive. Leisure time will be a real luxury as most of the day will be spent doing the things required to feed us, quench our thirst, find us shelter and protect us from fetid snapping undead jaws (not to mention our fellow survivors who will have long cast the Boy Scout’s oath aside). Listen to any mother/wife in our present world and you will hear that the daily grind of food preparation, child care, laundry and other assorted chores leave them with a nightly desire for action hovering around the zero level. And that is without the stress of being attacked by rotten ghouls jonesing for our innards. Add in the collapse of civilization and most survivors, male, female or other will have little leftover energy for boom boom.