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Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas

By Undercovergeek, 27 August 2012

A Crusader Kings II AAR, with all the seriousness of a cooler full of lunch meat

click images to enlarge

Welcome all, as previously discussed on the forumandvoted for by your goodselves we’re going to chart the rise (hopefully) of the di Parmas. Starting as a count and hopefully working our way up to Holy Roman Emperor or at least King, and unifying Italy on the way – small goals I know, but we have to start somewhere.



Here I am - interesting flick over parting and shaved sides hair-do, but other than that I’m rolling with the sexy Italian look. Dad’s still alive and he’s the Martial of our lands – which consist of Parma, and Corsica. I’ve got 2 kids, and I’m unmarried – their mother seems to have been struck from the family records – god knows what unholy sin she must have committed.



Son and heir, Oberto. I like him, he hates me – he’s been tutored by Micaela di Massa, some random courtier from Parma of no outstanding qualities at all – this maybe the cause of our fractious relationship and his crappy stats, that and his slight concern that he looks exactly like all other noble children in the realm, it troubles him.



Giuditta, my beautiful daughter, with a very admirable Intrigue score for a 10 year old. Good news is we like each other; bad news is with that kind of Intrigue score she’ll probably try and kill me. Also schooled by the non-impressive Micaela.



The non-impressive Micaela – a curse upon the education of my children.


Oberto Junior is sent to the Mayor of La Spezia – he has fantastic Diplomacy stats and I envy his moustache. Micaela gets upset.



Giuditta is sent to Bishop Bruto (he has the second best moustache in the realm – I don’t envy his as much) to be schooled in learning, she herself can’t be a Lord Spiritual but her male offspring can. Micaela gets even more upset.



Hopefully the new Mrs di P. She has a decent Martial score and I hope our union will pass this trait on to the kids. I shopped around; I’m not high and mighty enough to pull in a duchess or a princess. My liege, the Duchess of Tuscany will have me but only in a matrilineal marriage and the kids from that marriage will inherit the Duchy, not mine. Emisu is lustful, I’m lustful, I’m Italian – it’s going to get messy. I lose 20 Prestige as she’s just a courtier.



Giuditta is betrothed to the next in line to the French throne; if it comes off I’ll get a heap of Prestige. Why I didn’t try for the boy King himself I don’t know – I’ll see what happens with this attempt.



Oberto is betrothed to the daughter of the Duke of Burgundy, more Prestige and hopefully a friendly ally not too far away.



Parma Incorporated – I’m impressed with the Chancellor, the rest, I need as much help as I can get! As a count I have a small court to start with – we’ll start pulling people in as soon as we can. The Chancellor is sent to fabricate claims on Genoa; it’s next door, smaller than me and rich. The Martial trains troops locally, and the Steward raises taxes at home too. I send the Spymaster to study technology in Constantinople – the birthplace of all knowledge – I hope. The Lord Spiritual is sent to Rome to improve relations there – never a bad thing.
In the next instalment we'll see how the marriage plans come off, what laws need amending to improve the realm, and what unspeakable things can be done to Genoa



Read the rest! Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

Discuss this AAR here >>

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