Do Zombies Drink Corona? The Zombie Survival Blog Returns!

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It has been quite some time since my last communication in this blog.  It hasn’t been because there was nothing more to say.  I was just focused on surviving.  And then world events popped up and made all of us think about survival.  Even the hermit living at the top of a mountain knows about the pandemic that crashed through world economies like a wrecking ball.  In a perfect world, politics would have no place in health discussions, but this issue has become so highly politicized that it is difficult to focus solely on the facts.  Regardless of whether you feel that this was a health crisis that threatened the lives of you and your family members or that it was an overblown reaction engineered for a political outcome, readers of this series will agree that it has to make us think about what to do for the next pandemic.

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By: Jonathan Glazer

I scanned the news with a microscope but I could find no claim that this virus is causing the dead to rise and hunger for the taste of human meat.  I know many people who are extremely disappointed in this.  Years of stockpiling ordnance just to be stuck in your home with no walking, stumbling, rotting targets can be very frustrating.  The truth is that this was not an end of society situation.  Many people lost their jobs, but for the most part, electricity was still supplied, tap water still ran, food was still available and the garbage was still collected.  Sure, toilet paper became the coin of the realm and hand sanitizer was tougher to find than a virgin at a Cardi B concert, but life continues on and we have more food for thought.  If this disease was more deadly than it was and a tipping point was reached, things would get bad fast.  More sickness than we had would mean food would stop being produced and delivered, emergency services such as police and fire would be severely stressed and the power would shut down.  Once people lost the essentials such as food and water, there would be lots of hungry, thirsty and angry people looking to take from people weaker than them,  and this is without the dead risen from the grave looking for human snackage.  The thin veneer of civility that comes with society is sure to break down fast.  Hell, losing snapchat and other phone based apps would make an entire generation go homicidal.


I am using this experience as a pressure test of my survival preparations.  I saw where I did well and I saw where I did not so well.  On the plus side, I had plenty of guns and ammo.  I had food stores as well as water.  Batteries were plentiful and first aid supplies were sufficient.  I might make some fine tuning to some of those elements once retail pressure eases.  The big surprise for me was toilet paper and paper towel.  It has been almost three whole months since this started at the time of this writing and TP and paper towel are still rationed in small quantities.  Maybe I am part idiot, but I didn’t see that coming.  This stuff will not be available in pre pandemic supply for quite some time because people will continue buying it like it is oxygen.  When 22 Long Rifle Ammunition became short in supply in 2008 ahead of the presidential election of that year, it remained in short supply until very recent times.  People just kept buying it because it was cheap and they decided to continue stockpiling it.  The same will be true of the paper products.  People will not stop buying it.  I know I will do my best to build up a greater supply, but the days of walking into Costco and coming out with 6 jumbo packs won’t be with us for perhaps a couple years.


Further shortages could become evident at any time.  Right now, meat is more expensive than normal, but is generally available.  There are occasional shortages in certain places, but you can still get it.  However, there are stresses on the processing facilities for a few different reasons and that could collapse at any time.  I decided to stock up on frozen hot dogs.  They are cheap, versatile (lots of different ways to cook wienies) and just super yummy delicious.  I could eat hot dogs every meal of the day if needed.  The problem is keeping them fresh.  If the power goes out, They will still be good to eat for a while.  They are loaded with preservatives so in the short run, keeping them on ice will be fine, until there is no more way to get ice.  That is where canned foods come into play.  The hot dogs are for short term and the canned foods are for medium term.  I prefer beans and chili.   Hopefully flatulence won’t give away my position if I am in concealment.  Zombies might be able to smell it, but that is what the guns and ammo are for.


Right after Toilet Paper and Paper Towels became krugerands, I was in Costco and immediately grabbed a few bottles of ibuprofen and acetaminophen.  A lady asked why I was doing that and I told her that pain relievers would be the next thing to disappear.  She grabbed a few bottles.  The following week, those same meds were rationed.  Brand names were tough to find.  I have no issue with the store brands but it was good to be able to stock up right before it became an issue.

Recreational items also became scarce.  My kid did a 1,000 piece puzzle.  She was bored.  She asked me for some more puzzles.  It turns out I was late to that game.  Puzzles disappeared fast. In the last 3 months, exactly one puzzle has been delivered.  All others are on back order.  Everyone else was bored and they were looking for things to do and ways to run the lard off their asses due to eating too many pandemic snacks.  Exercise equipment and bicycles flew off the shelves.  Since gyms were closed, I started riding my bicycle every day.  I like having the bike as I feel it is a good survival implement.  It is quiet and I can ride long distances on it.  Riding it uphill is a bitch, though.  I feel a bicycle is an essential survival tool.  Hair is another story.  Shutting down barber shops and hair stylists put lots of people in an uproar.  Those concerned about their grey roots were looking for products to add some color.  Many looked like an English Sheepdog due to not wanting anyone other than a professional to cut their hair.  I was able to get a set of clippers (also suddenly in short supply) and give myself a crew cut.  It wasn’t pretty, but it grew in pretty quickly.  I liked not having to brush my hair for a month or two.  In a future cosmetology holocaust, I would be fine with home based buzz cuts.


There were some bright spots in terms of the economy.  Cottage industries for certain things sprung up like wildflowers.  People began making cloth masks at home and selling them.  There is a lot of debate about whether the masks do anything at all.  My feeling is that they are better than nothing so masks (and disposable gloves) will be on my list of items to increase my stockpiles.  Plus I get the benefit of enjoying my own breath as I am out and about in public.  Hand sanitizer will always be needed and I did have a good amount in storage.   As I mentioned before, this is a good pressure test of how adequate preparations have been.  I see that my family uses a lot of paper towels.  I wasn’t conscious of this previously.  I will have to take this into account as I restock over time.

In summary, I did ok in some of my preparations, not quite as well as others.  I think we were all lucky (so far) that there was no large scale civil unrest and societal breakdown.  There was some heavy handed governmental enforcement of their regulations and many felt their rights were trampled.  I can’t disagree with this.  This is a slippery slope and as many people allow their rights to be infringed, the next time, the government may be more inclined to violate even more rights. I got tired of people telling me everything they were doing was based on science.  Science lagged way behind rumor and guesses.  I feel this will be true of the next health crisis, whether zombie based or not.  Keeping a healthy decision making apparatus inside your head is vital to weathering the next big storm.  Keep your eyes and ears open and use your mouth a little less.  That is a big part of my plan going forward.

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