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Tag Archives: Medieval

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas, Part 34

In Part 33 we saw Benvenuto consolidate his power in Sicily, view the task ahead to create a united Italy under one crown, become aware of his impotence against the HRE and finally succumb to dementia. In this part, funerals, marshals, vile nepotism and a Holy war.


Slight administration error on the picture taking. Behind Oberto’s clearly distraught message about how rich he has become is the notice of his father’s passing. It is with genuine sadness that Benvenuto goes to a better place. However, he lasted long enough for me not to be able to control a few things with Oberto and my first concern is his two sons. Despite being King of Sicily, Oberto must bend to the will of the HRE’s laws until independent. This means we still can’t introduce the law of Primogenture and hand the whole lot over to the eldest son – the realm will be split on Oberto’s death – I need to rectify this somehow


Oberto not only inherited his father’s stubborn refusal to be involved in diplomacy, he also inherited his prowess on the battlefield – almost immediately the Emperor comes knocking for a new Martial.

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas, Part 33

We’re back and porking our way through the ages.

In Part 32 Benvenuto finally realised his Father’s ambitions and took Sicily, becoming King Benvenuto. In this part, new strategies, planning and Alzheimers.


Our mission, should we choose to accept it. It occurs to us that concentrating in the southlands has bagged us little of the territory needed to claim Italy itself, only Sicily. Essentially were almost at ‘Square 1’, but Sicily was necessary to grant us enough prestige to take on the Holy Roman Empire when the time comes.

GrogHeads Advanced Research on Projects Advisory #67

Two games, two gizmos, one GARPA.  Enjoy!

Holy Roman Empire (One Small Step)
$14k of $7k, ends 13 April 2015

An update to a venerable and revolutionary game, OSS’s Holy Roman Empire is a graphic feast that updates the original with the incorporation of older errata and the greater integration of the tactical battle board.  Counters, cards, player mats, and a host of scenarios round out a solid package for a true multi-player wargame with a heavy political layer that will keep your game group grogging for the long haul.  March over their Kickstarter campaign and tithe your gold to the lords of wargaming.



Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas, parto 32-o!

You missed the first 30 episodes?  You bad person.  Go read them all first, then come back here.

In Part 31 Benvenuto continued his Father’s ambition to become King of Sicily and assaulted the island and Sultan Yahya – its Muslim ruler.

A counter attack in Benvenuto’s homeland was beaten back by the Emperor’s forces, and the men of Salerno marched onto Malta with the aid of the Knights Templar.

Advised by his war council that more territory would need to be captured to force his demands for Sicily, Benvenuto needs to set sail for Northern Africa to take on the Sultan’s forces in his home territory. In this part, victorious Templars, a new beard, and a cool new hat.



After a lot of bloodshed, a lot of retreating, regrouping and restorming, Malta finally falls to Benvenuto and the Templars. With a warscore of 90% its still not enough to force a full surrender – to Africa!!!!!!!



Meanwhile in Bari……… Croatia comes back to take the region from the beaten down Muslims. So enraged is Benvenuto he grows an extra long beard and it turns white

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas… 31!

Yep, we now have as many episodes as Baskin-Robbins serves flavors

In Part 30 Benvenuto accidentally started a war with the Emir Of Galicia, won and lost the Succession War of Bari by fighting it for an ally and having to hand over the realm to him, chose the second best wife in Southern Europe for his son and heir, and at long last felt ready to carry out his father’s legacy and invade Sicily and claim the crown. In this part, a long war, Templars and the Emir of Galicia rides again.


CKII-Pic300The campaign for Sicily starts unremarkably, it is barely defended by the Muslims. To the east the army of Apulia walks off in a huff………


CKII-Pic301……and stops in Cosenza to start a war with Benvenuto. Busy in the south Benvenuto calls the mustachioed heroes of Bulgaria. ‘I’m sorry, the army you are calling is busy right now, Nikola and his band are pillaging Damascus, please leave a message after the tone and we’ll get right back to you’. Benvenuto calls his cousin in Lithuania and they promptly arrive, less moustaches, more furry boots.

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas… Entering Its 3rd Decade

When they talk about marathon games, this is what they had in mind…

In Part 29 Benvenuto left the field of battle over the Duchy of Apulia and province of Bari to his minions, in order to manage affairs of state at home. Once there he set about a plot to marry his son to Flandina, the beautiful heir of Apulia, imprisoned in the di Parma dungeons. It turned out that her brother, the Duke of Apulia refused to consent to the marriage. He was removed from power, di Parma style, now Flandina resides over the Apulia duchy and awaits our proposal. In this part, I honestly have no idea how to explain it

CKII - Pic 290

Turns out Flandina thinks she’s too posh for the di Parmas too – it’s a no from her

CKII - Pic 291

Having chosen the dress, the flowers, the horses and the fancy honeymoon Benvenuto broke off the previously arranged marriage to the di Luccas having seen Flandina’s perfect CV. Now he goes back cap in hand to get a wife for his son.

Tuesday Screenshot – Medieval II Total War

4 November 2014


The Spanish forces of Sir Nogel had marshaled in the opening days of April and now early on a rain-washed morning they marched out to meet the French invaders. They arrived on the edge of a blossoming field, across which the French had made their camp. As both sides drew up for battle, the Spanish soldiers fidgeted nervously at the site of the vaunted French mounted knights.
Robed in their polished armor and adorned with the French colors, the knights instantly drew the attention of the Spanish foot soldiers. The Spanish nobles tried in vain to reassure their vassals that this was a battle that could be won and that their men’s lives would not be forfeit. After a brief skirmish between the two sides, the main lines of foot soldiers marched towards each other.
Then, whether out of bloodlust or foolish pride, the French knights charged the center of the Spanish line. Expecting this type of rashness from their enemies, the Spanish had instructed their men to immediately stop their advance at the site of a French cavalry charge. Quickly coming to a halt and forming ranks, the Spanish spears prepared to meet the enemy horses. Like waves against a rocky shore, the French knights broke upon the Spanish spear.
In a manner of minutes the remaining knights were fleeing the field of battle leaving their fallen brethren lying amongst the spring flowers at the feet of the Spanish.

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Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas… Holy Crap, we’re up to #29!

We’ve been running this AAR for 2 years. Yep, you read that right.

In part 28, Benvenuto finally rid himself of the last of his troublesome siblings, their wives and their children. He was the one true leader of Salerno, Genoa and Parma. In this part small wars, big wars na dlove at first sight.

The Croatians are coming! The Croatians are coming!


Four thousand six hundred men of Salerno stop the Croatian march dead in its tracks. They retire to Foggia to check castles and stuff.