Author Topic: Psst...Hey, Martok!  (Read 120715 times)

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Offline besilarius

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #870 on: September 13, 2019, 02:59:07 PM »
Thomas, the tank engine, has sure evolved.

https://www.facebook.com/1pcreeper/videos/2403855836563652/?t=4
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

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Offline Staggerwing

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #871 on: September 13, 2019, 04:57:38 PM »
Where're Kurt Russell and his flamethrower when you really need 'em?
Vituđ ér enn - eđa hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

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... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

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Offline airboy

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #872 on: September 23, 2019, 06:45:14 PM »
A garden spider built a web suspended over the width of my driveway - about 10 feet across.  The web is over 6 feet high.  I can walk under it without ducking.

Offline Martok

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #873 on: September 23, 2019, 09:15:54 PM »
I commend your courage, airboy.  There is absolutely no way I could ever walk under that thing.  :buck2: 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Windigo

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #874 on: September 26, 2019, 10:41:23 AM »
I commend your courage, airboy.  There is absolutely no way I could ever walk under that thing.  :buck2:

As long as you can see it you're good Martok.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

Offline Martok

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #875 on: September 26, 2019, 12:38:48 PM »
I would cut down all the trees along my driveway first. 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline Martok

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #876 on: September 27, 2019, 02:05:37 PM »
zefrank cracks me up every time.  I still imagine Morgan Freeman narrating his videos.  ;D 





"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #877 on: September 29, 2019, 11:03:53 AM »
The Ogre Spider looks into your nightmares.




And screams.








At you.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #878 on: October 29, 2019, 07:23:35 AM »
Breaking! -- cute girl reviews spiders on Amazon.  :coolsmiley:

ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline Martok

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #879 on: October 30, 2019, 12:24:38 AM »
That's definitely the most random/disturbing thing I've come across the last week.  Thanks(?), Jason.  :P 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline GDS_Starfury

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #880 on: November 01, 2019, 11:30:41 PM »
surprise scale that it was JP..... 0
Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Offline besilarius

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #881 on: November 13, 2019, 05:52:12 AM »
Grogs would probably be good friends by whacking the spider with a baseball bat, while it was still on Martok's head.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline Martok

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #882 on: November 13, 2019, 12:21:59 PM »
You would all be welcome to wail away.  (It's not like you can do more damage there anyway.)  :P 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #883 on: December 17, 2019, 06:02:09 AM »
Martok! I have good news!

If you're ever sitting on the pot in the morning, and you're about to get in the shower, and you pick up your underwear to put it in the hamper, and this spider jumps out from your underwear and starts zigging and zagging around in an obvious 'fight mode', and you spend the next two minutes trying to hunt and kill it, and you smush it a few times with some toilet paper and whenever you look inside IT JUMPS OUT AGAIN AND STARTS ZIPPING AROUND TRYING TO ESCAPE so that it can lie in wait somewhere else and bite you maybe....

...don't worry. As the tagline of that old movie from the 80s or 90s used to say:

"You can't kill what was never alive..."



ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.

Offline JasonPratt

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Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
« Reply #884 on: December 17, 2019, 07:24:44 AM »
As far as I can tell, it's an accidental knot of carpet fuzz, which just happened to take the shape of a freaky deformed spider, but having much less mass than a spider of its equivalent size it not only jigged around on air currents, but even on ambient static electricity currents! -- partly generated by my own body. Even putting my finger near it to poke at it, 30 minutes later, caused its not-legs to start twitching and articulating around!
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in chronological order. Lots and lots of order...

Dawn of Armageddon -- a narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse: The Hunt Begins: Insert Joke Here!

Survive Harder! In the grim darkness of the bowl there is only, um, Amazons. And tentacles and midgets. Not remotely what you're thinking! ...okay, maybe a little remotely.

PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Season One complete; Fantasy Wars AAR, lots of screenies.