Author Topic: Ships!  (Read 289364 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline besilarius

  • Landsknecht
  • *******
  • Posts: 5230
  • ringmaster at circus amateur night
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1830 on: May 24, 2017, 05:58:43 AM »
A bit of Navy humor:

 'BUTTERCUPS AND GOLF BALLS'

Towards the end of the golf course, the Chief hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch..

All of a sudden...

… POOF …

In a flash of puff and smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said…

"I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?”

The Chief stands there abruptly stunned not knowing what to say…

“Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

… POOF! …

 And she was gone!

After Chief recovered from the shock, he hollered for his golf budd, the  Master Chief…

"Master Chief, where are you?"

Master Chief yells back…

"I'm over here in the pussy willows!!!"

Chief shouts back…

“DON'T SWING MASTER CHIEF; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!”


“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.


Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1831 on: May 24, 2017, 05:47:18 PM »
Quote
The Italian destroyer leader Pantera in the 1920s

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1832 on: May 24, 2017, 05:50:09 PM »
Quote
USS Idaho (BB-42) under way


"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline Staggerwing

  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 20671
  • "Today your love... tomorrow the World!"
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1833 on: May 24, 2017, 06:07:53 PM »
There appears to be quite a bit of the crew above decks. Must have been quite a heady feeling to stand there while the battleship was slamming it's way through the chop.
Vituđ ér enn - eđa hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1834 on: May 25, 2017, 04:57:10 PM »
Quote
USS Kearsarge (LHD-3) passes One World Trade Center for NYC Fleet Week 2017

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline bbmike

  • Crossbowman
  • *
  • Posts: 6723
    • AAR Central
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1835 on: May 25, 2017, 05:03:38 PM »
This is my USS Kearsarge. No bloody A - B - C - or D!

"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence."
-Sherlock Holmes

"You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets."
-Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

"There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you!"
-The Doctor

“Before Man goes to the stars he should learn how to live on Earth.”
-Clifford D. Simak

Offline Staggerwing

  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 20671
  • "Today your love... tomorrow the World!"
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1836 on: May 25, 2017, 06:44:27 PM »
This is my USS Kearsarge. No bloody A - B - C - or D!




Utopia Planitia looks a bit soggy in that pic.
Vituđ ér enn - eđa hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

Offline GDS_Starfury

  • Musketeer
  • *****
  • Posts: 36794
  • Sons of Punarchy
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1837 on: May 25, 2017, 06:49:21 PM »
This is my USS Kearsarge. No bloody A - B - C - or D!



Love the reference.
as for the timeline though, thats more Bawbs Kearsarge.
Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.


Offline besilarius

  • Landsknecht
  • *******
  • Posts: 5230
  • ringmaster at circus amateur night
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1838 on: May 28, 2017, 06:40:15 AM »
Two Lone Ships, 1914.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline besilarius

  • Landsknecht
  • *******
  • Posts: 5230
  • ringmaster at circus amateur night
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1839 on: May 28, 2017, 02:20:02 PM »
https://www.facebook.com/GloMilStrat/videos/448958472104264/

Very short film on Russian Northern Fleet exercise.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1840 on: June 01, 2017, 11:01:07 AM »
Quote
An undated photo of the future USS Washington (SSN-787). The Navy accepted delivery of the 14th submarine of the Virginia-class May 26. Huntington Ingalls Industries photo.

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1841 on: June 01, 2017, 05:19:23 PM »
Quote
Vinson, Reagan and Ashigara

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1842 on: June 02, 2017, 10:13:38 AM »
Quote
Battleship SMS Bayern being re-floated for salvage. Scapa Flow, 1934

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline mirth

  • Tercio
  • ******
  • Posts: 48615
  • Cardboard Harlot
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1843 on: June 03, 2017, 05:48:02 PM »
Quote
Japanese helicopter destroyers Kaga and Izumo

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline Staggerwing

  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 20671
  • "Today your love... tomorrow the World!"
Re: Ships!
« Reply #1844 on: June 03, 2017, 06:11:15 PM »
If you look reallllllly close you can see the word 'RESERVED' in Kanji script stenciled on the decks, surrounded by the outline of an F-35.
Vituđ ér enn - eđa hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-