Author Topic: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.  (Read 2356 times)

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Offline bob48

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'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« on: September 23, 2012, 04:58:46 AM »
I'm sure we've all had them. That point in a game where you just know the end's come off! Either through some cunning unforseen move by your dastardly oponent, a tactical oversight on your part, or just plain ol' bad luck.

'In a bit of a Jam'

Space Hulk.

You are the lead marine, and at the end of the corridor lies your objective. Your terminator suit lights cause spooky shadows to dance about and add to the tense atmosphere. But you are a Marine, and you know no fear. Behind you a brother marine is ready with his assault cannon ready to move forwards and clear the objective. You judge the distance to the entrance to a side room that you must cover in order to allow your brother marine to continue.

Command points have all but been expended, so careful timing is required. Move up one square, turn left and move move forwards to leave the corridor clear for marine with the assault cannon. You take up overwatch stance, just as your scanner picks up a blip in the room ahead. The Emperor is with me - I know no fear.

At the moment, the door opens to reveal a room teeming with Genestealers (the blip was a 6!) Storm Bolter at the ready - FIRE!

click, click - a jam, and no points to fix it - Argh!

We Shall Remember.
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!


Offline besilarius

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2012, 07:25:17 AM »
Knew a gang of guys who played Yaquinto's Ironclads board game.
They were playing a game in the entrance to Savannah, Georgia.  A force of CSA Ironclads and gunboats were trying to break the blockade.
At one point, their Ironclad, Atlanta, ran onto a sandbar.  The yankee monitor (a Tecumseh with two big 15 inch guns) carefully moved into two hex range on the Atlanta's quarter.  It was going to be a blood bath.
One facet of the rules was that at very close range, you could increase the hitting power of the guns by double loading, or even triple loading.
The downside was that you might have a breech explosion, and inside a monitor's enclosed turret that would be devastating.  (the monitors had tiny crews).  In the game's system, using six-sided die, a breech explosion occurred with a 6-6 and a 6-5 if double shotted.  If triple shotted then 6-4 also was an explosion.
Bear in mind that there were 36 combinations that could come up with two six-sided dice.  So two out of thirty-six, or even three out of thirty-six wasn't that dangerous.
Well, Tecumseh was close enough for the 15 inch rounds to easily punch through Atlanta's puny, railroad tie armor, and with the current she could sit there until a wind change.
The yankee rolled a 6-4 and a 6-6.  Both guns suffered breech explosions simultaneously.
We figured that with the overpressure, the roof of the monitor probably flew off to the accompaniment of a tiny mushroom cloud.  The whole crew was either killed outright or stunned and unable to do anything.
The stunned yankee (who had given the loading order while ignoring his side's anguished warnings) sat, utterly incapable of thought, just staring at the dice.
The final ignomy was that with no hand on the tiller, tecumseh bumped into the grounded Atlanta.  The rebel captain promptly threw over a boarding party, capturing the (formerly) powerful ironclad.
Tapping the stunned yankee captain on the shoulder, and in a syrupy Southern accent, proclaimed, "Yew suh, awr mah prizzonah!"
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline bob48

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2012, 02:27:37 PM »
^Wonderful  ;D
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

Offline undercovergeek

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2012, 02:38:21 PM »
Playing F.E.A.R and deciding for some noble reason not to save until i was really low on energy but in a safe place.

My character and I were both literally getting our breath back after a massive battle, id hidden him behind some boxes, whilst i had a finger flexing fk me moment, still not saved yet, i heard the distinctive sound of the electric doors open behind my character and there was nothing i could do to save him as the machine gun fire started................

back to the start of the level!

Offline bob48

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2012, 03:33:34 PM »
'Herr Oberleutnant, ver are mine brucken?'

Back in the day, my informal wargames group, which consisted of between 2 and 10 of us, had, for several years, a tradition of playing SPI's Wacht am Rhein each December, kicking off as near to the 16th as possible.

One particular year, it fell to me to Command the German left flank, 7th Army and 5th Panzer Army, which involves a bit of a river crossing.....

Those of you familiar with game will know that its pretty crucial for the German to intiate bridge building, an activity that takes a couple of turns before you can start getting your troops into action.

So, all was set up, with loads of arty banging away and intense troop movements to start the offensive. At some point, I noticed my two pals who were my oposition exchanging winks and knowing grins. I assumed this was just a bit of psycological warfare going on, so I just gave them a Tutonic sneer in return - although it probably just looked like indigestion.

By turn 3, I definitely had a feeling that all was not well, and this was reinforced when I noticed the look of horrified disbelief that my co-player was giving me. He then uttered those immortal words that will be forever etched into my wargaming soul;

"You total twat - don't tell me you forgot to build the effing bridges?"

'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

Offline besilarius

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2012, 04:21:57 PM »
Bob, I think we must have been seperated at birth.
That's the kind of obvious, clear mistake that I always seem to fall into.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline Windigo

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2012, 04:29:23 PM »
Warlock- turn 122

I have 2 black minataurs, 2 arathi bowmasters, and 4 hero level avatars including "Cruel Creature" ( all perked up and relic'd up)pushing in on a wide front towards an enemy's capital city, this was going to be an absolute massacre of epicness. My Ogre alone was a city sundering machine. The walls would be down very quickly. That would teach the Helios worshipping dog not to challenge followers of Darius!!

Then out of the fog/mists of war come over a dozen hastened archers and elited halberdiers .... oops.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

Offline bob48

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2012, 11:43:53 AM »
Oh how I love Warlock.......full of little surprises.
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

Offline Windigo

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2012, 11:47:49 AM »
Oh how I love Warlock.......full of little surprises.
its an awesome little game
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

Offline Jack Nastyface

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Re: 'Oh Sh*t' wargaming moments.
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2012, 06:11:12 PM »
Too many to mention, but here's one I recall vividly:

The Scene:  Boothill, 1874
The Scenario:  Three bandidos look to up their inventory of money, guns, ammunition, food and horses at Pedro's Cash Store.  Pedro takes gold or US dollars...but the bandidos only have lead.  After a quick discussion about price, Pedro exits the store out the back door, leaving the bandidos to browse at their leisure.  With one man watching the front door, another watching the back, things seem fine and Fremont street is empty.  Then, just as their shopping is almost over, the local sheriff (who approached from an unwatched side) pokes his face and the business end of a scattergun through a side window and announces his intentions with a double-barrel of buckshot.  Down go the three bandidos (standing side-by-fateful-side in the small store), one dead with a mortal shoulder wound (really??? I wasn't crazy about the to-hit and damage tables in this game!), the second with a serious leg wound and the last with body, groin and head hits.
Morale of the story:  You can't cover four walls with only two guys?  Or maybe "always post a guard outside"?  How about: "Never stand line abreast when you are looking at a scattergun".  Or perhaps "crime don't pay"?

Juanito Nastyface
« Last Edit: September 26, 2012, 01:34:07 PM by Jack Nastyface »
Now, the problem is, how to divide five Afghans from three mules and have two Englishmen left over.