Author Topic: This one writes itself  (Read 649 times)

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Offline besilarius

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“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline DoctorQuest

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2018, 10:48:25 AM »
You need to check your sources. This website is known for hoaxes.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/morgue-employee-cremated-nap/
"Everything you read on the internet is true." - Benjamin Franklin

"Zero-G and I feel fine....." - John Glenn

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage, inventor of the alternative fact.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2018, 10:49:00 AM »
This is a terrible tragic accident that cost a man's life so I will refrain from making crass funny comments or tasteless puns about it--- at least until someone else does first. My grand father told me when I was young, "Son, NEVER take a nap in a Funeral Home". Good advice.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline mirth

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"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline Gusington

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2018, 11:16:50 AM »
Roasted!

Oops.

Too soon?
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- Besilarius, Community Sage

Offline mirth

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2018, 11:26:39 AM »
"Man Fired for Sleeping on the Job"
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline Gusington

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2018, 11:28:01 AM »
‘Man Sleeping While Fired on Job’
"Grogheads should be the only tribe on this site.”

- Besilarius, Community Sage

Offline trailrunner

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2018, 02:57:24 PM »
After long career, man suffers burn out.

Offline mirth

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2018, 02:57:57 PM »
Poor guy was fried.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline trailrunner

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2018, 03:03:51 PM »
It was a hot day at work. Fred was cooked.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2018, 09:05:47 PM »
If the services are at the same funeral home, I bet that's one service nobody will fall asleep at. I hear he liked Elvis, "Hunk-a-Burning-Love" was his favorite.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline airboy

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2018, 07:04:59 PM »
Mark Twain wrote: Never take your dog to a funeral.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2018, 10:15:50 PM »
I thought it was never take your kids to a funeral. Or was that never take your first date to a funeral? Maybe it was never cheer at your ex-wife's funeral. No, no. It was never take your Mother-In-Law to a funeral.... and tell her the color of the coffin matches her dress. Etiquette is so important.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.