Author Topic: This one writes itself  (Read 252 times)

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Offline besilarius

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“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

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Offline DoctorQuest

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2018, 10:48:25 AM »
You need to check your sources. This website is known for hoaxes.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/morgue-employee-cremated-nap/
"Everything you read on the internet is true." - Benjamin Franklin

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"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage, inventor of the alternative fact.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2018, 10:49:00 AM »
This is a terrible tragic accident that cost a man's life so I will refrain from making crass funny comments or tasteless puns about it--- at least until someone else does first. My grand father told me when I was young, "Son, NEVER take a nap in a Funeral Home". Good advice.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Online mirth

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"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline Gusington

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2018, 11:16:50 AM »
Roasted!

Oops.

Too soon?
"And what’s your plan when he punches you in the face?”

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Online mirth

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2018, 11:26:39 AM »
"Man Fired for Sleeping on the Job"
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline Gusington

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2018, 11:28:01 AM »
‘Man Sleeping While Fired on Job’
"And what’s your plan when he punches you in the face?”

- Cyrano

Offline trailrunner

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2018, 02:57:24 PM »
After long career, man suffers burn out.

Online mirth

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2018, 02:57:57 PM »
Poor guy was fried.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can’t ‘un’ until you ‘pre’, son." - Gus

Offline trailrunner

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2018, 03:03:51 PM »
It was a hot day at work. Fred was cooked.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2018, 09:05:47 PM »
If the services are at the same funeral home, I bet that's one service nobody will fall asleep at. I hear he liked Elvis, "Hunk-a-Burning-Love" was his favorite.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Offline airboy

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2018, 07:04:59 PM »
Mark Twain wrote: Never take your dog to a funeral.

Offline Sir Slash

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Re: This one writes itself
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2018, 10:15:50 PM »
I thought it was never take your kids to a funeral. Or was that never take your first date to a funeral? Maybe it was never cheer at your ex-wife's funeral. No, no. It was never take your Mother-In-Law to a funeral.... and tell her the color of the coffin matches her dress. Etiquette is so important.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.