Author Topic: Hi, sexy!  (Read 1402 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ubercat

  • Man-at-Arms
  • *****
  • Posts: 1624
Hi, sexy!
« on: April 19, 2015, 09:13:07 AM »
I forgot for years but recently remembered this true story that happened to me. It was back in the early 90's and I was still living in Philly.

I was walking home from somewhere, minding my own business when I hear a female voice say "Hi, sexy!" I pause, look around and don't see anyone. Strange. I start walking again. "Hi, sexy!" I stop. I look up and down the street, I scan 2nd floor house windows, etc. No one is there.  ???

Suddenly I realize that the parked car nearest me has the windows rolled down. Sitting in the car is a little girl, maybe 4 years old, just old enough to talk. As soon as I look at her, she waves and says "Hi, sexy!" I wave back dubiously and say "Uhhh...hi."

Then I realize that there's a little boy in the car too. He's a year or two older and probably her brother. The kid set me straight. He looks at me very seriously and says "She doesn't really think you're sexy."  ;D

I can only conjecture on the parenting.
Numbers 31:17-18
"Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."

Psalm 137:9
"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."


Offline besilarius

  • Landsknecht
  • *******
  • Posts: 5277
  • ringmaster at circus amateur night
Re: Hi, sexy!
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2015, 12:45:04 PM »
Philly has always been a strange place.  The USS Farragut went into the navy yard for some serious engineering upgrades.
When my dad heard this, he thought it would be good.  During the war, the Philadelphia yard was apparently great.
By the 70s,the yard was terrible and the yardbirds the laziest SOBs you can imagine.
Because the ship had no power, the crew was berthed in barracks.  In no time, there was a pool on which space would have a crap left by one of the yardbirds overnight.
“Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along”.  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Offline Ubercat

  • Man-at-Arms
  • *****
  • Posts: 1624
Re: Hi, sexy!
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2015, 05:49:15 PM »
I was stationed on the Independence, CV-62, in Philly back in the late 80's. That's how I came to PA in the first place.

A yardbird once dropped a heavy cable on my head from about 15-20 up. I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. I had my hard hat on and barely felt it, though my hat was knocked off.
Numbers 31:17-18
"Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."

Psalm 137:9
"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."

Offline LongBlade

  • Unsanctioned Psyker
  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 27192
  • No Regerts
Re: Hi, sexy!
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2015, 06:22:00 PM »
I was stationed on the Independence, CV-62, in Philly back in the late 80's. That's how I came to PA in the first place.

A yardbird once dropped a heavy cable on my head from about 15-20 up. I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. I had my hard hat on and barely felt it, though my hat was knocked off.

Why would they do something like that? (I'm not doubting you, just questioning the motive.)

Offline Ubercat

  • Man-at-Arms
  • *****
  • Posts: 1624
Re: Hi, sexy!
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2015, 07:12:49 PM »
I was stationed on the Independence, CV-62, in Philly back in the late 80's. That's how I came to PA in the first place.

A yardbird once dropped a heavy cable on my head from about 15-20 up. I'm pretty sure it was on purpose. I had my hard hat on and barely felt it, though my hat was knocked off.

Why would they do something like that? (I'm not doubting you, just questioning the motive.)

Arrogant fucks with a chip on their shoulder I'd guess. I was just walking through the hanger deck on my way to the forecastle when it happened. I looked up and 3, maybe 4 were just standing up there, looking at me. No one said "Oh, shit! Are you OK?" All I could do was pick up my hard hat and go on my way. I was 19 at the  time. If it happened now, I'd probably climb up and inquire as to WTF was up.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2015, 07:15:51 PM by Ubercat »
Numbers 31:17-18
"Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."

Psalm 137:9
"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."

Offline LongBlade

  • Unsanctioned Psyker
  • Blunderbuster
  • ****
  • Posts: 27192
  • No Regerts
Re: Hi, sexy!
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2015, 04:40:06 AM »
smh

Sorry to hear that. There is no explaining some people.