GrogHeads Forum

IRL (In Real Life) => Enigmas of the Mystical => Topic started by: BanzaiCat on January 04, 2014, 02:41:04 PM

Title: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 04, 2014, 02:41:04 PM
(http://i1175.photobucket.com/albums/r624/MichaelE6/046.jpg)

 ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on January 04, 2014, 03:14:46 PM
Calamari!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Gusington on January 04, 2014, 03:51:09 PM
His dentist is excellent.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 04, 2014, 03:55:24 PM
I know that chick!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on January 04, 2014, 03:56:37 PM
I know that chick!

Not well I hope...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 04, 2014, 07:13:14 PM
I know that chick!

I dated that chick. Her canines were sharper back then.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 04, 2014, 07:14:58 PM
The teeth were rough.
the tenticles more so.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 05, 2014, 11:28:31 AM
He looks like he's singing.  :o 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 05, 2014, 11:33:49 AM
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--3YQLgaBGZo/TtfLIe-LPxI/AAAAAAAAA90/BEIT3rccxwo/s1600/squib_the_entertainer.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 21, 2014, 08:26:09 AM
This Spider Makes Fake Spiders. But Why? (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/more-decoy-spiders-philippines/)

Quote
Scientists returned to the Amazon rainforest in December to collect data on one of their biggest finds of 2012: a spider that uses insect corpses and jungle trash to build big, spider-shaped decoys in its web.

But these Peruvian spiders, presumed to be a new species of Cyclosa, are not the sole sculptors of false arachnids. A second decoy spider lives in the Philippines, on the island of Negros. Finding two spiders that make such similar designs, 11,000 miles apart, has left scientists wondering how the behavior evolved and if the decoys serve as lures for prey or as an anti-predator defense system. The discoveries also suggest there may be even more sculpting arachnids.

You just have to know what to look for.

“The Philippine species and the Peruvian species, they both makes these decoys, but the architecture is different,” said entomologist Lary Reeves, a graduate student at the University of Florida who found the Philippine spider in March 2012. That spider decoy’s legs radiate outward from the body in all directions, while the Peruvian decoy’s legs tend to point downward.

Reeves was studying deforestation and butterfly communities on Mount Kanlaon, near the town of Murcia, when he noticed something odd along the trail leading down the mountain from his field site.

“I walked by this web with a spider in the middle,” Reeves said. “A couple steps past it, I realized it was a spider I hadn’t seen in the area before. I backtracked, looked, and saw that it was a decoy.”
The decoy was about the size of a half-dollar, constructed from debris and food carcasses, with eight legs radiating from its bulky center. It took Reeves awhile to find the spider that sculpted the false arachnid, but he eventually spotted it hiding in a pocket built into the decoy’s abdomen. It was just millimeters across, and well camouflaged by its building materials.

At the time, there was no way Reeves could know entomologist Phil Torres would soon find a similar spider in Peru, and that its artistic representations would crawl all over the internet.

In December, Reeves went to Peru with Torres to try to learn more about these spider-building spiders. The spiders live in an isolated patch of protected jungle along the Rio Tambopata, in the floodplain that surrounds the Tambopata Research Center.

There, Reeves and Torres and their colleagues spotted about a half-dozen of the spider-building spiders. The team photographed and measured the decoys daily, paying close attention to how the spiders rebuilt their decoys after seasonal rains turned them into soggy piles of web trash.

more at the link

(http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/wiredscience/2015/01/phillipines-cyclosa-01-660x440.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on January 21, 2014, 08:48:54 AM
i was happy, only a bit, but happy knowing they were quite dumb

now im not so sure
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Gusington on January 21, 2014, 08:51:11 AM
^That is weird.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 21, 2014, 09:26:40 AM
When we first moved into this house I'm in now, ten years ago, I killed a big ass spider in the master bathroom. He was probably as big as my hand. He was trapped between the bathroom cabinet and the bathtub; there's a space about eight inches or so wide there. That damn thing shucked and jived and dodged me, all the while his eight little beady eyes bored into me with the hatred of a thousand supernovas. I thought he was going to escape.

I finally stomped his ass, though. I still remember that after all these years despite having killed a few spiders here and there...that thing, it was like looking into the eyes of a condemned man. It freaked me the hell out.

Never saw another one in the house, fortunately. I think he just got trapped in there because the wilderness was claimed by our subdivision's additions. Well, except for that f*cking brown recluse that bit me a couple/three years ago. Other than that...no spiders.

NO SPIDERS, I said.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 21, 2014, 10:07:10 AM
I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 21, 2014, 10:21:32 AM
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/spidersaustralia_zps08754089.jpg) (http://s1108.photobucket.com/user/Rotarrin/media/Other/spidersaustralia_zps08754089.jpg.html)

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on January 21, 2014, 10:24:56 AM
you would not be able to see my ass for dust

youd hear me screaming, but id be running too fast
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 21, 2014, 10:36:30 AM
Why run?  That's what the flamethrower is for.  8) 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Gusington on January 21, 2014, 01:41:38 PM
Well they already got a piece of me and besides the feverish near death it wasn't all that bad.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 21, 2014, 01:42:57 PM
Well they already got a piece of me and besides the feverish near death it wasn't all that bad.

+1

Except for the having-your-body-violated-by-a-poisonous-little-git part.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Gusington on January 21, 2014, 02:05:49 PM
^I still don't know when exactly I got bit and didn't feel it when it happened, which is probably more gooder than the alternative.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 21, 2014, 03:36:57 PM
It's because the little f&ckers have tiny little needle-like fangs that sink into your flesh like a hot knife into butter...without the butter feeling it. I went through the same damn thing, on my leg. Time for a Brown Recluse Holocaust.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Gusington on January 22, 2014, 06:41:18 AM
Yeah it was on my leg too...you should have seen the subcutaneous shitstorm the bite caused!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 22, 2014, 05:55:59 PM
You guys looking for an exterminator?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 27, 2014, 04:50:21 PM
^Cue serious music.

They call me 'MetalDog', I'm THE Exterminator.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 30, 2014, 08:29:29 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1/q71/1779881_10152181507535827_723138559_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 30, 2014, 10:42:49 AM
I would move that very day...preferably to another continent. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 10:49:57 AM
You should try Australia.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 30, 2014, 03:58:53 PM
You got real estate in Oz, Star?  You keep trying to get Martok to go there ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 30, 2014, 04:00:41 PM
He owns a spider farm.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 30, 2014, 04:02:59 PM
Fannnngs for the meh-mor-ieeeesss...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 30, 2014, 04:04:58 PM
STOP!  STOP NOW YOU DAMNABLE CAT!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 30, 2014, 04:30:01 PM
Ouch. Does the PUNishment fit the crime?

Heh-heh-heh... :D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 30, 2014, 04:32:36 PM
It'll be pundemonium
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 30, 2014, 04:42:10 PM
Better call the Punisher. Ol' Frank will have those punnin' wankers punted in no time.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 30, 2014, 04:44:01 PM
punnative action will be taken.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 04:50:35 PM
your really trying to impunge him aint ya.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 30, 2014, 04:52:19 PM
your really trying to impunge him aint ya.

I've no intention of going anywhere near his punge.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 04:55:02 PM
maybe he needs some accuPUNcture.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 30, 2014, 04:56:17 PM
maybe he needs some accuPUNcture.

You're just trying to needle him now - I'm sure he'll get the point.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 30, 2014, 10:32:19 PM
You can all go suck an egg.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 30, 2014, 10:45:57 PM
dude, you should know by now not to tell us what not to do.

worse, your response wasnt even PUNctual.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 31, 2014, 04:46:05 AM
He's clearly intimidated by the eggscellence of the humor we're laying on him
If he keeps pecking away at his keyboard like this, we'll just tell him to cluck off
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on January 31, 2014, 04:47:33 AM
That could put him in a fowl mood.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 31, 2014, 05:48:34 AM
Stop ruffling his feathers, guys. He might get mad if he takes a beak into this forum again. We should CAWWWmit to a more friendly environment.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 31, 2014, 07:00:24 AM
He may tell us to flock off, or maybe get real broody.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 31, 2014, 07:04:36 AM
it could end in a murder.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 31, 2014, 07:07:58 AM
'I'll bring it up in Parliament' he said, owlishly.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 31, 2014, 09:15:12 AM
Make him eat crow.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 31, 2014, 09:17:05 AM
That would be hard to swallow.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 31, 2014, 09:30:38 AM
No puffin your chest out, bawb. You might have a talon for this kind of thing, but sometimes I think you're just winging it.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on January 31, 2014, 09:34:42 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/t1/q71/1779881_10152181507535827_723138559_n.jpg)

That is one proud looking pooch.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 31, 2014, 10:17:55 AM
Is this my swan song then, Cat?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 31, 2014, 10:19:19 AM
^ It certainly is a pheasant way to go through life.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 31, 2014, 10:23:36 AM
I've got no grouse about that.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 31, 2014, 10:26:51 AM
Well, that's dovely then, innit?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 03, 2014, 08:44:11 PM
You should try Australia.

Not for all the hot, slutty chicks in the world.  I'd sooner live in Antarctica. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 04, 2014, 05:07:24 AM
Just IMAGINE the huge, prehistoric, man-eating spiders frozen under the ice in Antarctica. That's a SyFy movie waiting to happen.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 04, 2014, 08:08:16 AM
Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on February 04, 2014, 11:13:52 AM
^"Well hung and snow white tan…"
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Bison on February 04, 2014, 10:05:08 PM
(http://www.dudelol.com/DO-NOT-HOTLINK-IMAGES/Damn-nature-you-scary.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 05, 2014, 05:59:34 AM
(http://www.gonewiththetwins.com/pages/2000_2005/screenshots/eightleggedfreaks/011.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 05, 2014, 09:49:32 AM
Yep, Antarctica sounds pretty good right about now. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on February 05, 2014, 10:23:04 AM
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oeR_NbLv6wI/TY5q3RLs36I/AAAAAAAAAYk/7QquBtpUBGQ/s1600/Ice%2BSpiders.JPG)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 05, 2014, 10:39:29 AM
One maximized Fireball spell will take care of 'em. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 05, 2014, 04:23:47 PM
C'mon, Martok...you know you want to go find a copy of Eight Legged Freaks...

(http://www.joblo.com/images_wallpapers/349/6b258a802e5b2be188803c109b3f178d.jpg)

Note: not in Australia.  8)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 06, 2014, 01:27:36 PM
Believe it or not, I actually did go see that movie when it was still in theaters.  (I'm not sure why -- a "fear fetish", maybe?)  I watched it with three friends, one a fellow arachnophobe like myself (although she was female). 

The other guy friend who was with made the questionable decision to sit in between her and I.  By the time the movie was over, he had claw marks on his right arm (from where our female friend had gripped it throughout most of the film), and multiple bruises on his left arm (because I kept flinching during various scenes, which caused me to accidentally elbow him a lot).  ::)  Good times! 

In contrast, the other female friend sat on my left side...and wisely leaned away from me, so as not to be the victim of repeated vicious elbowing action.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on February 15, 2014, 04:14:06 PM
Darwin's Bark Spider of Madagascar.  Weaves the largest orb webs known.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin%27s_bark_spider
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on February 15, 2014, 04:18:10 PM
That's pretty amazing.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Bison on February 15, 2014, 05:42:08 PM
(http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/199355-1/Big-spider-climbs-back.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on February 15, 2014, 06:16:42 PM
That's just wrong.

I hope you at least dispatched a cardioinversion team to Martok's place.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Bison on February 16, 2014, 03:51:28 PM
(http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/funny-homer-simpson-chasing-spider-box-animated-gif-pics.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Bison on February 16, 2014, 03:51:44 PM
(http://ii.fobby.net/misc/spider_animated.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on February 16, 2014, 04:35:25 PM
That's an extreme closeup of an Orb Weaver.  Beautiful spider, but not much more than a couple of inches in diameter.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 17, 2014, 12:08:54 PM
(http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/199355-1/Big-spider-climbs-back.gif)

wtf




(http://funnyasduck.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/funny-homer-simpson-chasing-spider-box-animated-gif-pics.gif)

Ugh.  That's one of my nightmares... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on February 17, 2014, 10:09:37 PM
C'mon, Martok...you know you want to go find a copy of Eight Legged Freaks...

(http://www.joblo.com/images_wallpapers/349/6b258a802e5b2be188803c109b3f178d.jpg)

Note: not in Australia.  8)

Huh, the fangs are spaced just right for his eye sockets. How will it pull off the marshmellows after?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on March 23, 2014, 10:08:38 PM
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1979560_502943646476605_2012083308_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 24, 2014, 09:35:30 AM
Yeah, that's pretty wrong. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on March 24, 2014, 10:40:34 AM
Yeah, just imagine him creeping up on you during the night and pouring a bucket of whitewash down your ear.

Honk honk!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 02, 2014, 06:53:23 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/10171658_10152442813830934_2133831680_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 02, 2014, 07:40:58 PM
That's the biggest damn grass spider I have EVER seen!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 05, 2014, 01:00:30 PM
I have to admit, that's pretty good.  My stomach flipped a couple times just looking at the damn thing! 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on April 06, 2014, 10:42:38 AM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 06, 2014, 12:00:10 PM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1.0-9/1012927_770435362980441_849336824_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: skeptical.platypus on April 07, 2014, 11:48:02 PM
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!

I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 08, 2014, 04:05:33 AM
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!

I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?


You talkin' 'bout Ahura Mazda or Mazda Motor Corporation?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: skeptical.platypus on April 08, 2014, 10:57:47 AM
Psst. . . Hey, Martok!

I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?


You talkin' 'bout Ahura Mazda or Mazda Motor Corporation?

I'll take spider car factories for $100, Alex.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 09, 2014, 07:15:55 AM


LOL!  That one never, ever gets old.  Cracks me up every time I watch it. 




Psst. . . Hey, Martok!

I assume this has been covered before, but wtf is Mazda's problem with you anyway?


You talkin' 'bout Ahura Mazda or Mazda Motor Corporation?

I'll take spider car factories for $100, Alex.

I have it on good authority it was done on a drunken bet. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: skeptical.platypus on April 09, 2014, 12:42:00 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 09, 2014, 01:22:37 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.

Oh, I'm sure they get a fair few each year (and yes they're real (http://www.ec.gc.ca/paom-itmb/default.asp?lang=En&n=5F569149-1)).  8) 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 09, 2014, 05:23:17 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.

Oh, I'm sure they get a fair few each year (and yes they're real (http://www.ec.gc.ca/paom-itmb/default.asp?lang=En&n=5F569149-1)).  8) 



Excited by the 'and yes they're real' part I hurriedly clicked on your link expecting to be enlighten about this mysterious Crack Spider's Bitch but only found myself on the Canadian Wildlife Service's web site... oh well.  :(
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: skeptical.platypus on April 09, 2014, 09:28:47 PM
I'd like to know how often the Canadian Wildlife Service (if such a thing exists) gets a call about Crack Spider's Bitch.

Oh, I'm sure they get a fair few each year (and yes they're real (http://www.ec.gc.ca/paom-itmb/default.asp?lang=En&n=5F569149-1)).  8) 



Excited by the 'and yes they're real' part I hurriedly clicked on your link expecting to be enlighten about this mysterious Crack Spider's Bitch but only found myself on the Canadian Wildlife Service's web site... oh well.  :(

You do realize you were one small phone call away for staggerwing, one giant leap for Grogkind from completing the Crack Spider's Bitch: More Information Circle of Life, right?  ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 10, 2014, 04:33:08 AM
Not sure what you meant but by then the moment had passed.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: skeptical.platypus on April 10, 2014, 09:20:49 AM
We were talking about people calling the CWS for more information on Crack Spider's Bitch. You followed a link for possibly more information on Crack Spider's Bitch. A phone call simply would have been more elegant.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on April 11, 2014, 12:16:00 PM
Demon spiders are fun.   ;)





"You're hard working, you love people..."
"No... I love the liquid inside people!"


 ;D

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Arctic Blast on April 12, 2014, 12:54:53 AM
Oooooo...Aqua Teen Hunger Force!  ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on April 12, 2014, 08:55:17 AM
Oooooo...Aqua Teen Hunger Force!  ;D


Hell yeah, man!

(http://www.karcreat.com/moonsavr.gif)

(http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs7/i/2005/263/9/d/Mooninites1_by_Adult_Swim_Club.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 12, 2014, 10:22:55 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1.0-9/10151406_10152464611250934_2898009975403311544_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on April 12, 2014, 02:39:26 PM
Haven't you guys ever seen a mouse eat a spider? I've seen them eat cockroaches.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 13, 2014, 02:21:00 PM
I've seen spiders eat mice: 



Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 13, 2014, 03:40:05 PM
you've come a long way baby!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on April 14, 2014, 01:35:01 PM
I found a tarantula in a hole in my yard, when I was a kid.  Saw something move when I was mowing the lawn and found a hole in the ground.  Dropped a lit fire cracker in it, not knowing what was in there.  So I got close and looked back inside the hole and it crawled up to the opening and gave me the wicked eye.  My firecracker only pissed it off, but not enough for him to come out of cover.  I left it well alone after that.  :)

At certain times of the season, you could see tarantulas crawling across the road up on the hill above the family farm.  You can see the large ones from further off than you would expect when they're in the middle of a paved road.  I had seen a few doing that over the years.  Almost never saw them otherwise, although we knew there were plenty around.  :o

It's still been the little sneaky brown recluses that I've always been most worried about.  Damn things have a reputation for crawling on you in your sleep.  When it's dark.  Because humans taste like candy.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 14, 2014, 05:53:23 PM
That is an undeserved reputation for the recluse, Nefaro.  They would much prefer to stay out of sight and away from people.  Although, there are several houses that I have pulled out more than three hundred a month from in the summer time.

As for tasting like candy, I've known a few who taste VERY sweet :)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 15, 2014, 06:22:36 PM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/l/t1.0-9/10246638_780348005319098_5878081901956356347_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 15, 2014, 08:01:11 PM
I think that the one down below has miniature scuba gear.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on April 16, 2014, 06:36:04 PM
That is an undeserved reputation for the recluse, Nefaro.  They would much prefer to stay out of sight and away from people.  Although, there are several houses that I have pulled out more than three hundred a month from in the summer time.


Nevertheless the Recluse just loves to live in peoples' houses.  Lotsa dark nooks & crannies to hide.  So they tend to live closer to humans than the big hairy stuff which typically live outdoors and keep away from us.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 16, 2014, 06:57:23 PM
In eight years time, I have found no more than ten Recluse on the outside of someones house.  Scores of Black Widows outside, but less than a handful inside.  It's easy for me to be blasé about removing them from a customers house.  If it were my own, I'd have a come apart.  But crawling on people in their bed is not something they do very often.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 17, 2014, 07:27:54 AM
In eight years time, I have found no more than ten Recluse on the outside of someones house.  Scores of Black Widows outside, but less than a handful inside.  It's easy for me to be blasé about removing them from a customers house.  If it were my own, I'd have a come apart.  But crawling on people in their bed is not something they do very often.

I'm surprised that you southerners don't let pet geckos roam free in your homes to eat the spiders.  I'd rather have a gecko crawl on me, then a venomous spider!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 17, 2014, 07:34:14 AM
we do.  I've got lizards by the job lots running around outside.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 17, 2014, 08:25:49 AM
we do.  I've got lizards by the job lots running around outside.

What about inside?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on April 17, 2014, 09:39:53 AM
My mother lives in Sarasota, FL and has at least 1 wild gecko living in the house. It hides behind furniture, typically up on the wall, and hisses if people get too curious.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 17, 2014, 09:44:17 AM
My mother lives in Sarasota, FL and has at least 1 wild gecko living in the house. It hides behind furniture, typically up on the wall, and hisses if people get too curious.

I'd be happy to vacuum up gecko shit if I knew it was keeping recluses and widows at bay.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 17, 2014, 10:19:13 AM
we do.  I've got lizards by the job lots running around outside.

What about inside?

I dont bother them.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 17, 2014, 04:11:30 PM
My mother lives in Sarasota, FL and has at least 1 wild gecko living in the house. It hides behind furniture, typically up on the wall, and hisses if people get too curious.

I'd be happy to vacuum up gecko shit if I knew it was keeping recluses and widows at bay.

+1000

I didn't know that about geckos.  May have to invest in a few dozen of them...  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 17, 2014, 10:00:34 PM
40, I'd love to let a lizard or three live in my house.  Unfortunately, the latitude I am at doesn't allow for them year round.  Yours is even worse for them ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 10:16:24 AM
Heres what I get to play with today.  ;D

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 21, 2014, 01:20:48 PM
Why?  Are you working it into the decor?  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 21, 2014, 02:04:34 PM
Heres what I get to play with today.  ;D


That's not a Banana Spider, is it, Star?  If so, be super careful.  Also looks like a Garden Spider.  But those are black and yellow with a white underbelly.  Really similar otherwise.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 05:57:06 PM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 21, 2014, 10:23:38 PM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.


Size of your thumb?  I wouldn't sweat it too much then.  Just be careful.  Neither of the two I described, Banana or Garden, are that small.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 21, 2014, 10:51:06 PM
ah...  the one I took the picture of was that size.  some of the other would give Martok fits.  ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on April 21, 2014, 11:33:26 PM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 22, 2014, 05:17:49 AM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!

Cigar for ignition= extra man-points.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 22, 2014, 07:02:14 AM
40, I'd love to let a lizard or three live in my house.  Unfortunately, the latitude I am at doesn't allow for them year round.  Yours is even worse for them ;)

True, but I don't have to worry about a spider bite sending me to the hospital!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 22, 2014, 07:04:35 AM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.


Size of your thumb?  I wouldn't sweat it too much then.  Just be careful.  Neither of the two I described, Banana or Garden, are that small.

Size of your thumb isn't big???!!  Jesus! 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on April 22, 2014, 11:11:17 AM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!

Cigar for ignition= extra man-points.

lol - arachnid destruction with style
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 22, 2014, 11:13:54 AM
Can of deodorant and a match.... now get spraying!

Seriously, if you're going to use a flamethrower, then just GET AN ACTUAL DAMN FLAMETHROWER.  Don't half-ass it!  ::)   Sheesh... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 22, 2014, 12:17:07 PM
Ive been usong a 3500 psi pressure washer with a needle tip.   8)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 22, 2014, 01:53:18 PM
Good man. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 22, 2014, 05:23:33 PM
Outside job but its in a very old area with tons on old growth tropic plants.
Theyre everywhere and about the length of my thumb.


Size of your thumb?  I wouldn't sweat it too much then.  Just be careful.  Neither of the two I described, Banana or Garden, are that small.

Size of your thumb isn't big???!!  Jesus!

This is the spider I thought it resembled originally.  They can get as big as your entire hand.


(http://i1355.photobucket.com/albums/q717/stophro/GardenSpider_zps517be349.jpg) (http://s1355.photobucket.com/user/stophro/media/GardenSpider_zps517be349.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 22, 2014, 05:49:34 PM
That aint these.  The body is longer and skinnier.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 24, 2014, 01:27:06 PM
Heres another

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 24, 2014, 01:31:49 PM
If it wasn't for the fact that you're now killing so many of them in the course of your current project, I'd think you were in Spidertopia. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 24, 2014, 03:50:16 PM
Im only killing the ones that are in my way.  My client considers them his "friends".  ::)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 24, 2014, 05:40:08 PM
Hmmm...

I'd stay out of his basement in case his 'family' has some kind of gigantic nest down there complete with full larder of silk-wrapped people-pops.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 30, 2014, 08:44:19 PM
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/t1.0-9/10013561_691585337531225_1091788304_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 01, 2014, 11:24:32 AM
LOL!  You do have to wonder what inspired that image.  :D 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on May 05, 2014, 11:27:26 PM
well, I'd say that 90% of the spiders that I didn't kill and whos location I knew about have vanished.
I sense a counter attack coming.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 06, 2014, 09:37:36 AM
Unless they somehow manage to take away your flamethrower, I think you're pretty safe. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: endfire79 on May 06, 2014, 04:39:40 PM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on May 06, 2014, 08:48:32 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/t1.0-9/1912367_10152319151981882_1817245722_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: endfire79 on May 06, 2014, 09:30:40 PM
Red leg red leg mark these coordinates and fire for effect!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 06, 2014, 10:51:59 PM
What the effing f 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on May 06, 2014, 11:40:33 PM
What the effing f

you didnt see Mirths "girlfriend" posts?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 07, 2014, 12:13:52 AM
What the effing f

you didnt see Mirths "girlfriend" posts?

Dude, that was hours ago.  You have way too much faith in my ability to remember them and then make the connection.  (I'm flattered, though.)  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on May 07, 2014, 12:16:05 AM
I was just startled by the ice settling in my margarita.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 07, 2014, 12:25:05 AM
I would be startled by ice settling in any drink, margarita or not.  ???  I'm not sure that's "ice", man... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on May 07, 2014, 07:24:53 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/t1.0-9/1912367_10152319151981882_1817245722_n.jpg)

Burn the house down.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on May 07, 2014, 07:27:07 AM


Ok, 'never going to Brazil' just got added to the list.  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 07, 2014, 10:28:06 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/t1.0-9/1912367_10152319151981882_1817245722_n.jpg)

Burn the house down.

Fuck that!  That would imply still being within visual range of the thing.  I'd be miles away, calling in an airstrike. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on May 09, 2014, 08:02:31 AM
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/thedar.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on May 09, 2014, 07:00:42 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/t1.0-9/10177288_818837091470637_2035450540079386755_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on May 09, 2014, 07:48:12 PM
^Business opportunity.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on May 11, 2014, 07:11:44 PM
I would be startled by ice settling in any drink, margarita or not.  ???  I'm not sure that's "ice", man...

lol
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on May 11, 2014, 07:14:38 PM


Video ends: "That's a wrap!"
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on May 11, 2014, 09:00:30 PM
^Business opportunity.

It's also reportedly a pretty painful erection that could cause some kind of permanent disability.  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on May 12, 2014, 02:21:52 AM
if shes walking funny thats her problem.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on May 13, 2014, 06:57:32 AM
Yeah, but WHERE does it have to bite you, exactly?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on May 16, 2014, 04:58:15 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/t1.0-9/s720x720/487508_569741769713505_781167456_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 16, 2014, 08:28:43 AM
You gotta love the Misunderstood Spider.  :) 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on June 03, 2014, 06:27:24 AM
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/10262270_10152447395295729_9216528913219088197_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on June 03, 2014, 12:24:56 PM
Not for the first time -- and certainly not the last -- I'm glad I don't live in Australia.  :P 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on June 12, 2014, 07:12:54 PM
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/the-dar-203.jpg?w=550&h=866)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on June 12, 2014, 07:25:43 PM
Didn't there used to be gag toilet paper you could get with a realistic spider printed on it every three feet or so?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on June 13, 2014, 12:32:56 PM
That's fucking evil!! 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on June 18, 2014, 07:06:18 AM
Fortunately, not a real spider.

(Doesn't have eight legs, only six.  :D )
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on June 19, 2014, 01:14:01 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t1.0-9/10409735_10152099051697234_8904566988973849448_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on June 20, 2014, 06:24:21 AM
(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/10422341_10154322516915078_1345898470620611944_n.png)

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/10417533_10154322519135078_1515686397991007604_n.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on June 20, 2014, 10:43:55 AM
^  I will admit, my feelings regarding cobwebs synch up with this guy's pretty closely. 




(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t1.0-9/10409735_10152099051697234_8904566988973849448_n.jpg)

Hey, at least you know where that motherfucker is... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on June 20, 2014, 02:14:40 PM
^^ "And then I put both barrels up to the wall of the tend and pulled the trigger... No, Ranger, I wasn't drunk! That thing came from Mirkwood!"

(Edited to add: I thought about changing my mis-spell of "tent" later, but then decided it might fit the joke.)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on June 27, 2014, 06:14:36 AM
It's COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on July 02, 2014, 11:01:12 AM
http://news.yahoo.com/theyre-alive-goliath-tarantulas-among-spiders-exhibit-132837797.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 02, 2014, 11:06:36 AM
http://news.yahoo.com/theyre-alive-goliath-tarantulas-among-spiders-exhibit-132837797.html

(http://up-ship.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Grumpy-cat-nope.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 02, 2014, 11:07:58 AM
(http://thetyedyediguana.com/product_images/i/296/goliath-birdeater-tarantula-Theraphosa-blondi__25183_zoom.jpg)

Death to the Goliath Bird-eater Tarantula!!!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 02, 2014, 05:28:08 PM
What
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 02, 2014, 05:45:15 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goliath_birdeater

Second largest spider in the world.

Here's the FIRST largest:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/61/Heteropoda_maxima_1.jpg)

The Giant Huntsman Spider. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_huntsman_spider) Only discovered in 2001.

Not sure if this was covered in this thread already as I am too lazy to check. But holy schnikes, seriously, F&CK THIS THING. Not literally, of course.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on July 02, 2014, 06:40:16 PM
Is it making off with a tinfoil-wrapped baked potato?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on July 02, 2014, 06:57:47 PM
That would be one of Martoks testicles.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on July 02, 2014, 07:11:24 PM
That would be one of Martoks testicles.

He keeps them wrapped in tinfoil?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on July 02, 2014, 07:56:20 PM
And are they really that big?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on July 02, 2014, 08:38:55 PM
And are they really that big?

yes
oddly thats more surprising then the fact that he wraps them in tin foil.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 03, 2014, 01:53:53 AM
For freshness' sake. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on July 03, 2014, 04:18:11 AM
And it goes with the tinfoil hat.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on July 05, 2014, 11:39:32 PM
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t1.0-9/10262270_10152447395295729_9216528913219088197_n.jpg)

This.

You're a nice warm pillow for Mister Spider to lounge upon.  ;D

But yes.  I've abruptly awoke from a nightmare about a spider crawling on my neck & face.... to find an actual spider crawling on my neck. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 06, 2014, 11:00:34 AM
Unfortunately, that's happened to me as well.  :-\ 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on July 07, 2014, 07:22:27 AM
SPIDER STALKER LOOVVVEESS YOOUUUU!  :D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on July 07, 2014, 01:17:42 PM
Shelob will take care of you and cuddle you until you fall asleep >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 07, 2014, 01:55:47 PM
<Checks to make sure flame-thrower is fully charged> 

Okay, good to go!  8) 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 07, 2014, 02:41:29 PM
(http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/2c4/f80/2c4/resized/misunderstood-spider-meme-generator-hey-i-just-noticed-that-you-guys-made-post-about-me-whats-the-flamethrower-have-to-do-with-this-9815f6.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 07, 2014, 03:19:29 PM
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dog-dressed-up-in-spider-costume.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 08, 2014, 11:52:41 AM
^  Heh.  I believe I've seen that one before, but it's always good for a chuckle. 




(http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/2c4/f80/2c4/resized/misunderstood-spider-meme-generator-hey-i-just-noticed-that-you-guys-made-post-about-me-whats-the-flamethrower-have-to-do-with-this-9815f6.jpg)

LOL!  Nicely done, BC

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Airborne Rifles on July 17, 2014, 04:53:46 AM
Did Martok move to Seattle?

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/07/seattle_mans_use_of_homemade_b.html#incart_river (http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2014/07/seattle_mans_use_of_homemade_b.html#incart_river)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 17, 2014, 08:30:46 AM
LOL!  No, but it does sound like something I might do if I were just a little dumber.  ;D 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on July 17, 2014, 09:50:36 PM
"A little voice told me to give em hell."
Then what did the voice say?
"Why do you listen to me? I'm dumber than you!"
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on July 29, 2014, 06:43:24 AM
Crossposting here for extended chances someone will be a lot more familiar with insects than I am...  ;)

At least it isn't a spider, Martok.  :))

Found on the floor of a West Tennessee factory this morning.

It's about an inch long (scale is hard to tell from the photos), and walks and runs with a wiggly motion like a lizard -- the guys thought it was a small lizard at first.

It has six legs so it's probably an insect, but I don't know that all six-legged exoskeleton thoraxy things are insects.

The head is at the top of each picture; the two long things which look like antenna are the tail. (Well, probably not the "tails" per se, but the hind end.)

The outer shell seems rather soft; it definitely has grey fuzz like a spider might.

I thought at first it was a cave cricket of some kind, but it does have eyes. Then again, they're not all blind (right?). We don't have cave systems in this part of Tennessee either, though of course it could have hitched a ride from Middle TN or Middle KY.

It cannot climb plastic, or not wet plastic anyway -- I have it captured currently in a Propel bottle (with a few knife slices at the top to allow a little air.)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 29, 2014, 07:46:13 AM
Looks like some kind of locust or mutant grasshopper.

Kill it next time. Let God sort 'em out.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on July 31, 2014, 09:13:17 AM
Someone I know was recently bit on the neck by a Brown Recluse. 

Horey crap, I saw a pic of how immensely swollen her neck had become.  I think she made it to the Docs before it started rotting out and got it under control.

Still wondering if it got her while she was sleeping.  That's when those little bastards strike!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 31, 2014, 12:21:08 PM
Thanks Nefaro.  Just what I want to hear when I'm heading to bed in the next couple hours.  (Granted, brown recluses aren't supposed to live this far north, but still!).  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on July 31, 2014, 01:35:32 PM
More than likely, she got it from pulling a shirt over her head from the closet.  It's possible that she got it in bed, but, it's a fallacy that Recluse hang out in your bed and wait to bite you.  The bed thing is usually caused by the bed being under a vent or light fixture and the little bastards drop down and land on the bed.  You roll over on them and they commence to biting you.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 31, 2014, 01:38:22 PM
F that. Little bastards invade MY house, then bite ME? Oh, hell naw.

I'm pretty livid over the idea because one bit my on my leg while I slept. Having each leg pulled out slowly is too good for those nasty little shite-heads.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on July 31, 2014, 01:41:59 PM
Really, B_C, your only sure defense against them is gasoline and a match and then move somewhere they don't have them.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 31, 2014, 01:44:56 PM
I know. (sigh.) But there's nowhere that doesn't have them.

I thought about moving to Arizona in the next few years, but if I do that, I'm giving up spiders and roaches for snakes and scorpions. Mother nature is a bitch.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on July 31, 2014, 06:48:37 PM
We don't gottem up here.  ^-^
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on August 01, 2014, 06:59:04 AM
We don't gottem up here.  ^-^

Us neither!!

(http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/images/canada/nova-scotia.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on August 01, 2014, 07:20:23 AM
Nor do you have sunshine.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on August 01, 2014, 07:45:55 AM
Sure we do, it's not like we're Newfoundland!

http://weather.gc.ca/city/pages/ns-19_metric_e.html

If the Gulf Stream were to shift, just a bit, it would be like Bermuda here.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on August 01, 2014, 09:40:08 AM
No nasty spiders here, either  :)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on August 01, 2014, 05:45:26 PM
No nasty spiders here, either  :)

But you do have chiggers or chavs or some such thing.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on August 01, 2014, 05:57:33 PM
And people from Birmingham.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on August 01, 2014, 06:28:28 PM
We have people from Birmingham, too.  They are called Auburn fans.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on August 02, 2014, 05:25:58 AM
I come from Birmingham - although not the one that you're talking about.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on August 02, 2014, 05:36:13 AM
So are you officially a Brummie or a Geordie then?



Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on August 02, 2014, 05:45:00 AM
So are you officially a Brummie or a Geordie then?
I'm a..Geordie-Brummie. We've lived in Newcastle since 1976. Moved here about 18 months after we got married, so we've now lived here longer than we lived in B'Ham.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on August 08, 2014, 12:29:09 PM
More than likely, she got it from pulling a shirt over her head from the closet.  It's possible that she got it in bed, but, it's a fallacy that Recluse hang out in your bed and wait to bite you.  The bed thing is usually caused by the bed being under a vent or light fixture and the little bastards drop down and land on the bed.  You roll over on them and they commence to biting you.

Exactly.

I wasn't implying that they're lying in wait under your covers.  Just that they tend to do their cruisin' about after the lights are off.  Sometimes on your neck.

Sleep tight!  ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 08, 2014, 02:49:49 PM
My bed is under both a vent *and* a light fixture. 

Fuck me. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on August 08, 2014, 03:29:12 PM
Lived in Anchorage, Alaska for six wonderful years. No snakes, no spiders!

Of course, moose in my front yard were common, a black bear was tranquilized in my back yard, and then there were wolves...and snow...and lack of sunlight.

Still...beats the hell out of spiders and snakes.  O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 09, 2014, 10:07:19 AM
I could live with all of that.  Being a vampire, the lack of sunlight in particular wouldn't bother me. 

On the other hand, the purported lack of women up there...  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on August 25, 2014, 10:12:43 PM
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/boobs-theyre-more-afraid-of-you.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 26, 2014, 01:21:26 PM
...And I would like to thank Star -- not for the first time -- for almost choking to death trying to avoid a Force-4 soda-spew.  Fuck, that was funny.  :2funny: 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on September 01, 2014, 06:12:48 PM
(http://hotdigest.com/images/14095898678.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 01, 2014, 06:18:15 PM
well.....  at least you know shes not afraid to put things in her mouth.   ^-^
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 01, 2014, 10:15:54 PM
Or take things off.  Read her hat.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 03, 2014, 08:16:51 AM
(http://hotdigest.com/images/14095898678.gif)

What.  The.  Fuck. 

<vomit>

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on September 04, 2014, 10:35:50 AM
^^ "Tee hee! And then it goes into my ear!"
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 04, 2014, 10:48:06 AM
Have faith, boys. This just proves some women will put anything in their mouths.  :-*
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on September 04, 2014, 11:34:57 AM
Yeah, if Martok met her in a bar (near to her trailer park), and she left her spider at home, he'd go for her.  She'd show him a good time. 8)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on September 04, 2014, 04:33:37 PM
She could be keeping spiders in other places...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 04, 2014, 05:21:47 PM
If a spider can get in and out of there freely, Martok is going to have to strap a 2' by 4' to his ass so he doesn't fall in.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 04, 2014, 05:45:40 PM
if she likes spiders that much then shes used to little pricks.   ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 04, 2014, 06:34:33 PM
(https://farm7.staticflickr.com/6040/6428900779_9bee2b954a_b.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on September 05, 2014, 10:27:16 AM
This may not scare even Martok... >:D

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2745007/Giant-mutant-spider-dog-let-loose-unsuspecting-public-hilarious-online-prank.html

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/09/05/1409921045814_wps_1_Polish_prankster_Sylweste.jpg)



Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 06, 2014, 11:35:55 AM
Ha.  Now *that's* funny! 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on September 07, 2014, 05:20:44 AM
That vid's hilarious. 

I came to post it, but figured someone had already done so in this thread.  ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 11:19:50 AM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

i have a slipper ready for 'em
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 19, 2014, 11:26:08 AM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

i have a slipper ready for 'em

I saw that a couple of days ago.

Here in the US we just call Metal Dog.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 19, 2014, 11:31:38 AM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

i have a slipper ready for 'em

I saw that a couple of days ago.

Here in the US we just call Metal Dog.

is his 'man licence' international?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 19, 2014, 11:35:16 AM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

i have a slipper ready for 'em

I thought Ziggy Stardust already did this.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 19, 2014, 02:26:01 PM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

i have a slipper ready for 'em

Ugh!!  :buck2: 

Well, I've been thinking about upgrading my flamethrower.  If so, I could send you the old one! 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 08:09:01 AM
aarrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/giant-spiders-set-invade-uk-4275507

i have a slipper ready for 'em

I saw that a couple of days ago.

Here in the US we just call Metal Dog.

is his 'man licence' international?

Yup.  You just have to provide transportation, lodging and square it with my boss for the time off.  If you are truly terrified of the prospect, get some glueboards, cardboard with sticky stuff on them, and place them around the room next to the baseboards.  That'll help immensely.  Although, you'll have to see the results of your spider wrangling and you may not be pleased with the results.  YMMV
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 20, 2014, 11:54:31 AM
pffft ill watch a spider stuck to a glue board all day   :knuppel2:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 12:15:24 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it.  I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards.  Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on September 20, 2014, 12:18:22 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it.  I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards.  Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.

Jeebus! Where do you live??  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 20, 2014, 12:23:06 PM
Dixie
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 20, 2014, 12:30:25 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it.  I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards.  Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.

I'd say you filled your Man Card quota for the quarter.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 20, 2014, 12:30:48 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it.  I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards.  Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.

Jeebus! Where do you live??  :o

'Bama.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 21, 2014, 12:17:30 PM
Next time I get a full glue board, I'll take a pic and post it.  I just did a service last month at a house where there were over 500 Brown Recluse spiders on glue boards.  Granted, that's over two months time, but, still, a large amount.

Jesus fuck!!  That's over eight of the little bastards every day!  :o  So glad I live up north. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 21, 2014, 12:48:51 PM
That's just the ones that were caught ;)  The glueboard with the most had 51 on it.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 21, 2014, 12:57:45 PM
you should put one in the mail and send it to Martok.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 21, 2014, 01:31:07 PM
Given how many of you yahoos here live south of the Mason-Dixon line, any package received from that region automatically gets X-rayed -- that, or simply burned, sight unseen.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 21, 2014, 01:41:17 PM
my dad and his brothers used to mail roaches to each other during college.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 21, 2014, 01:53:08 PM
ROFL!  That had to have made for an interesting educational experience... 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 21, 2014, 02:28:42 PM
Roach postage between Tulane Carnegie and NYU.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 25, 2014, 03:13:03 AM
Happy Christmas Martok

(http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1600x1200q90/902/kMiJkP.jpg) (https://imageshack.com/i/p2kMiJkPj)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 25, 2014, 09:47:22 AM
Happy Christmas Martok

(http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1600x1200q90/902/kMiJkP.jpg) (https://imageshack.com/i/p2kMiJkPj)

Martok might buy them for the irony of stomping on them!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on September 25, 2014, 10:37:37 PM
Makes you wonder if other mammals have an aversion to spiders. Would a dog or cat react strongly to the spider slippers?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 25, 2014, 10:39:46 PM
Makes you wonder if other mammals have an aversion to spiders. Would a dog or cat react strongly to the spider slippers?

My dogs attack spiders without hesitation.

My dachshund has on more than one occasion flicked his tongue around as if he were bitten. But showed no ill effects.

My old cat didn't care for them either.

I suspect my pack, upon seeing said abominable slippers, would descent with righteous fury upon them and leave little but stuffing in their wake.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 27, 2014, 09:26:40 PM
Happy Christmas Martok

(http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1600x1200q90/902/kMiJkP.jpg) (https://imageshack.com/i/p2kMiJkPj)

Martok might buy them for the irony of stomping on them!

I might...except I would also probably mistake them for actual giant spiders in the middle of the night while half-sleep, scream like a little girl, then promptly have a heart attack and die.  ::)  :-[ 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 27, 2014, 10:23:05 PM
Think of the power and irony as you destroy them...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on September 27, 2014, 11:10:32 PM
Makes you wonder if other mammals have an aversion to spiders. Would a dog or cat react strongly to the spider slippers?

My dogs attack spiders without hesitation.

My dachshund has on more than one occasion flicked his tongue around as if he were bitten. But showed no ill effects.

My old cat didn't care for them either.

I suspect my pack, upon seeing said abominable slippers, would descent with righteous fury upon them and leave little but stuffing in their wake.

You have to test that. Will he dash in with courage or weiner out?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 28, 2014, 05:17:11 AM
I should think they would be pretty hard to walk in. You would be forever tripping over your own...legs.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 28, 2014, 06:37:56 AM
If you're taking wee baby steps, sure you'll trip. If you're taking man-sized manly spider steps, no worries.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 29, 2014, 10:18:59 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1536496_610171489047945_28020543_n.jpg?oh=cf54b6d3e3df0704dbe1b0d255ae60ec&oe=54C59E29&__gda__=1418128069_1ef1cad4f0ccbb7aa8c33e0e79a0edac)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 30, 2014, 08:44:36 AM
This is a series of photos a couple of girls took. You've gotta see them all to appreciate the sequence.

Martok, steel yourself.

http://imgfave.com/view/4800517?u=177043
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on September 30, 2014, 08:49:51 AM
This is a series of photos a couple of girls took. You've gotta see them all to appreciate the sequence.

Martok, steel yourself.

http://imgfave.com/view/4800517?u=177043

 :2funny:
 O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 30, 2014, 12:58:25 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1536496_610171489047945_28020543_n.jpg?oh=cf54b6d3e3df0704dbe1b0d255ae60ec&oe=54C59E29&__gda__=1418128069_1ef1cad4f0ccbb7aa8c33e0e79a0edac)

Well you don't want to burn down the house, so I recommend a sledgehammer. 




This is a series of photos a couple of girls took. You've gotta see them all to appreciate the sequence.

Martok, steel yourself.

http://imgfave.com/view/4800517?u=177043


LOL! 

Okay, that's pretty funny.  Reminds me of the time (which I believe I related here) when I was half-asleep and startled completely awake by a small spider just a few inches from my face. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 06, 2014, 11:32:13 AM
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-10/1/15/enhanced/webdr04/enhanced-18188-1412191209-3.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 06, 2014, 07:53:26 PM
^  LMAO
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on October 07, 2014, 05:56:41 AM
(http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1280x1024q90/674/PN0aRN.jpg) (https://imageshack.com/i/iqPN0aRNj)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 08, 2014, 01:23:07 PM
...spiderboating?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 08, 2014, 01:49:28 PM
Spider-bagging? 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 08, 2014, 08:34:06 PM
something useful for Martok:  http://complete-health-and-happiness.com/9-natural-ways-keep-spiders-home-2/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 08, 2014, 08:42:21 PM
something useful for Martok:  http://complete-health-and-happiness.com/9-natural-ways-keep-spiders-home-2/

Fire is natural.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 09, 2014, 11:24:51 AM
something useful for Martok:  http://complete-health-and-happiness.com/9-natural-ways-keep-spiders-home-2/

Fire is natural.

Heh, my thoughts exactly.  ;)  Although I'm amused by the thought of keeping them away with peppermint as well. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 10, 2014, 06:28:16 PM
Quote
A home with prime views of the third and fourth holes at Whitmoor Country Club has been vacant for two years because of a creepy crawly problem.

The home was infested with between 4,500 and 6,000 brown recluse spiders, according to one estimate.

The previous homeowners abandoned the 2,400-square-foot atrium ranch after years of pesticide treatments couldn’t curb the invasion.

source: http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/extreme-case-of-brown-recluse-spiders-drives-owners-from-weldon/article_02e0dcb3-a772-5c47-84ce-ede4e21df346.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 12, 2014, 11:43:20 AM
I read that story back on Friday as well.  I knew it wouldn't be long before it got posted here.  :P 


Yeah, reading that definitely gave me the heebie-jeebies; I can scarcely even imagine the horror.  :-\  I feel bad for the owners too, essentially getting screwed/stiffed by both the previous owners and the insurance company. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 13, 2014, 07:36:01 PM
(http://images.viralnova.com/000/081/257/desktop-1412694523.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 13, 2014, 07:47:29 PM
Waitin' to catch himself a nice n' tasty little Hyundai no doubt.

When he's done with 'em the family inside will resemble the stick-figure decals on their back window...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 13, 2014, 07:49:09 PM
(http://images.viralnova.com/000/081/257/desktop-1412694523.png)

Meh. Photoshop.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 13, 2014, 10:40:27 PM
nope.  it was an actual thing in England.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 14, 2014, 06:33:27 AM
And then, for no particular reason, our cat went missing...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 14, 2014, 07:24:28 AM
nope.  it was an actual thing in England.

http://www.viralnova.com/giant-spider/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 14, 2014, 08:19:24 AM
nope.  it was an actual thing in England.

http://www.viralnova.com/giant-spider/

WTF??!  He moved the web so that the giant spider wouldn't be disturbed??  :o 

There's something seriously messed up with that guy... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on October 14, 2014, 08:25:10 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2014-10-10-0959.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 14, 2014, 08:34:08 AM
^  And that's when I would move.  To another town, at the very least. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 14, 2014, 09:38:15 AM
nope.  it was an actual thing in England.

http://www.viralnova.com/giant-spider/

Wow. Learn something new every day. Looks a lot like our orb spinners, but about ten times larger.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on October 16, 2014, 08:54:15 AM
Spider burrows into mans scar

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/10/16/spider-burrows-dylan-thomass-appendix-scar-sternum_n_5994802.html?icid=maing-grid7|uk|dl1|sec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D300660

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 16, 2014, 09:33:25 AM
Spider burrows into mans scar

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/10/16/spider-burrows-dylan-thomass-appendix-scar-sternum_n_5994802.html?icid=maing-grid7|uk|dl1|sec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D300660

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If that doesn't do it, the "See Also" section should send Martok into a 72 hour hold.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on October 18, 2014, 02:40:10 PM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........................when it's that big, just shoot the damn thing!

(http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/Dht9TFqT2uLyP6eaDCG3og--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTM4MztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz01NzU-/http://media.zenfs.com/en_US/News/LiveScience.com/theraphosa4.jpg1413584886)


http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html (http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 18, 2014, 03:16:38 PM
BURN THE RAINFOREST!!!!!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on October 18, 2014, 03:32:27 PM
CAN'T - TOO SOGGY!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on October 18, 2014, 06:00:41 PM
Napalm burns everything... soggy or not!  O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 18, 2014, 06:16:46 PM
I dunno.... looks friendly enough.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 18, 2014, 09:27:14 PM
I dunno.... looks friendly enough.

That's what he said...before he married her and later she took half his stuff.  O:-)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on October 18, 2014, 10:20:13 PM
Maybe it plays the harp.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 20, 2014, 02:20:15 AM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........................when it's that big, just shoot the damn thing!

(http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/Dht9TFqT2uLyP6eaDCG3og--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTM4MztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz01NzU-/http://media.zenfs.com/en_US/News/LiveScience.com/theraphosa4.jpg1413584886)


http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html (http://news.yahoo.com/goliath-encounter-puppy-sized-spider-surprises-scientist-rainforest-125720953.html)

Holy hell, that's enormous! 

I'm gonna need a bigger flame-thrower. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 20, 2014, 04:14:47 AM
Or maybe one of these:

(http://www.zinnfigur.com/images/6/4/6038_4072614.JPG)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 20, 2014, 06:45:17 AM
Good point.  Squishing one with heavy tread would be better than with my shoe... 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 20, 2014, 08:04:15 AM
Or maybe one of these:

(http://www.zinnfigur.com/images/6/4/6038_4072614.JPG)

Why use commie crap?

(http://www.combatreform.org/AVREflamethrowerrearview.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 20, 2014, 04:24:31 PM
I was generalizing.  8)

I was actually looking for a Flammpanzer but ran out of time and had to go to work so I threw that one out there instead.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on October 21, 2014, 12:44:32 PM
(http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/Dht9TFqT2uLyP6eaDCG3og--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9ZmlsbDtoPTM4MztweW9mZj0wO3E9NzU7dz01NzU-/http://media.zenfs.com/en_US/News/LiveScience.com/theraphosa4.jpg1413584886)



If that thing ever laid eggs in your ear, it could be considered rape. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 21, 2014, 09:45:06 PM
so spider zen.

(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10440746_757006624335422_3691966494003292943_n.jpg?oh=072cff79f90a659e04f3544dbbfc4ec5&oe=54EF39BC)

to put it in GH format, could you imagine Gus with my life.

(http://drinkingcinema.com/uli/N5X.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on October 21, 2014, 09:58:20 PM
I've seen that exploding head video before. What the hell is that from?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 21, 2014, 10:01:04 PM
Scanners
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 22, 2014, 05:34:34 AM
A forgettable movie long ensconced in the consciousness of our generation due to that exploding head thing.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on October 23, 2014, 05:13:32 PM
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/halloween-decorations-7.jpg?w=600&h=449)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on October 23, 2014, 06:28:03 PM
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/halloween-decorations-7.jpg?w=600&h=449)

Is that Australia?  :2funny:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 24, 2014, 07:02:11 AM
If someone went up and painted a fiddle on the back of the one over the garage, that would be in Tennessee.  :D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on October 24, 2014, 08:13:02 AM
Nice insect humor, Jason!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 24, 2014, 08:13:53 AM
F that house. I can't imagine any little ones wanting to go near it! Which actually might be the point, in which case...bravo.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 24, 2014, 01:37:30 PM
(http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/halloween-decorations-7.jpg?w=600&h=449)

That is...disturbingly creative.  I can't quite bring myself to applaud, but that's well done. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 24, 2014, 01:51:17 PM
21 pages based on one mans phobia.   :2funny:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 24, 2014, 02:25:48 PM
Heh.  I have to admit, when BC started this thread back at the beginning of the year, it never occurred to me it would still be going strong like this ten months down the road.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on October 24, 2014, 04:51:52 PM
to be fair we lost page 2-4 to wanky puns
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 24, 2014, 04:57:39 PM
wanky puns

Sounds like the name of a band from Manchester.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on October 25, 2014, 02:35:14 PM
Yeah, they did an album called 'Slow Hand'.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on October 25, 2014, 04:18:46 PM
they really mastered the beat
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 25, 2014, 04:30:19 PM
Novel use of the Slide Organ as well







(^Did I read a UCG pun just now?)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on October 25, 2014, 04:35:43 PM
nope  >:(

 :uglystupid2:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 25, 2014, 06:24:37 PM
he has been assimilated.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on October 26, 2014, 08:41:18 AM
Bad news Martok. The spiders have arrived.


(http://i1252.photobucket.com/albums/hh561/grovesby/Capture_zpse92468ed.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 26, 2014, 08:46:23 AM
I saw that- WTF are they? More Gummint Creepshow?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on October 26, 2014, 08:56:17 AM
Dunno, but one of them asked me where he could find Martok. I pointed to the Lingerie Channel.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 26, 2014, 10:45:27 AM
Dunno, but one of them asked me where he could find Martok. I pointed to the Lingerie Channel.

Ho! Time to run for cover.

(http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/249712/trapdoor-spider-wtf-o.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 26, 2014, 12:11:14 PM
Dunno, but one of them asked me where he could find Martok. I pointed to the Lingerie Channel.

Bring it!  I'll be ready with my flamethrower tank. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 26, 2014, 12:56:59 PM
Martok's ready to werf some flammen!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 26, 2014, 01:06:02 PM
Last time he did that he had to take the horse pill.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on October 28, 2014, 05:57:38 PM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2014-10-28-0971.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 29, 2014, 07:08:42 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2014-10-28-0971.png)

Ha!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 31, 2014, 02:26:20 PM
Note to Martok: Stay out of Baltimore

http://www.wired.com/2014/10/4-acre-spider-web-engulfs-building/


Quote
How many spiders does it take to creep you out? 10? 100? How many spiders make an “extreme spider situation”?

The Baltimore Wastewater Treatment Plant put out a call for “extreme spider” help in 2009, when a giant spiderweb covered almost 4 acres of their facility. Scientists eventually estimated over 107 million spiders were living in the structure, with densities of 35,176 spiders per m³ in spots.

Greene, A et al. (2010). An Immense Concentration of Orb-Weaving Spiders With Communal Webbing in a Man-Made Structural Habitat (Arachnida: Araneae: Tetragnathidae, Araneidae). American Entomologist, 56 (3), 146-156.
 
The “immense” in their title doesn’t really begin to cover it. From the paper:

Quote
“We were unprepared for the sheer scale of the spider population and the extraordinary masses of both three dimensional and sheet-like webbing that blanketed much of the facility’s cavernous interior. Far greater in magnitude than any previously recorded aggregation of orb-weavers, the visual impact of the spectacle was was nothing less than astonishing.

In places where the plant workers had swept aside the webbing to access equipment, the silk lay piled on the floor in rope-like clumps as thick as a fire hose.”

Remember, that paragraph was written by 5 mid-career professional entomologists and arachnologists. If they were a bit startled by the size of the web….it was a big freakin’ web.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 31, 2014, 02:28:34 PM
Note to Martok: Stay out of Baltimore

http://www.wired.com/2014/10/4-acre-spider-web-engulfs-building/


Quote
How many spiders does it take to creep you out? 10? 100? How many spiders make an “extreme spider situation”?

The Baltimore Wastewater Treatment Plant put out a call for “extreme spider” help in 2009, when a giant spiderweb covered almost 4 acres of their facility. Scientists eventually estimated over 107 million spiders were living in the structure, with densities of 35,176 spiders per m³ in spots.

Greene, A et al. (2010). An Immense Concentration of Orb-Weaving Spiders With Communal Webbing in a Man-Made Structural Habitat (Arachnida: Araneae: Tetragnathidae, Araneidae). American Entomologist, 56 (3), 146-156.
 
The “immense” in their title doesn’t really begin to cover it. From the paper:

Quote
“We were unprepared for the sheer scale of the spider population and the extraordinary masses of both three dimensional and sheet-like webbing that blanketed much of the facility’s cavernous interior. Far greater in magnitude than any previously recorded aggregation of orb-weavers, the visual impact of the spectacle was was nothing less than astonishing.

In places where the plant workers had swept aside the webbing to access equipment, the silk lay piled on the floor in rope-like clumps as thick as a fire hose.”

Remember, that paragraph was written by 5 mid-career professional entomologists and arachnologists. If they were a bit startled by the size of the web….it was a big freakin’ web.

Wowsers.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on October 31, 2014, 04:13:11 PM
Orb weavers are about the size of a half dollar when grown.  I can't imagine a hundred and seven in a four acre area, nevermind 107 MILLION!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 31, 2014, 04:35:23 PM
Yeah, and 37,000 in a cubic meter.

It boggles the mind.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on October 31, 2014, 08:07:14 PM
It's a weaving conspiracy.

WTF do they eat when they are that dense? Besides each others silk?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 31, 2014, 08:09:43 PM
babies and hot redheads mostly.....

its just a stop on their exodus to Martok's home.  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on October 31, 2014, 08:11:26 PM
Maybe they are training to take over the interwebs. They have a cunning plan. It involves Martok.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 31, 2014, 08:14:57 PM
(http://33.media.tumblr.com/09218f6df8c8ff7f8a6e819877f37fe5/tumblr_ncxu9nLwsC1qh0kooo1_400.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 01, 2014, 12:27:40 PM
That's it.  I'm moving to Mars. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 01, 2014, 12:34:42 PM
that last one may or may not be on another solar planet.   ::)  but its not on this one.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on November 01, 2014, 12:34:58 PM
That's it.  I'm moving to Mars.

Not so fast:

(http://nathanpenning.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/mars1.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 01, 2014, 12:51:55 PM
Marktok, if you don't like music too much maybe you can try surgery to cure your phobia:

Quote
A 44-year-old businessman started suffering unexplained seizures, and when doctors investigated they found an abnormality in his brain: a damaged left amygdala.

As New Scientist reported Friday, after doctors cut out the man’s damaged left amygdala, the man started noticing that he’d lost a fear — and gained a loathing.

While he had previously suffered from arachnophobia — a fear of spiders — the man found after surgery that he wasn’t scared of spiders anymore, but that he had picked up a “stomach-lurching” disgust for music.

source: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/11/01/he-was-scared-of-spiders-then-doctors-cut-a-chunk-of-his-brain-out-and-something-strange-happened/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 01, 2014, 01:59:06 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/559563_984108778285120_2765933038898801372_n.jpg?oh=3c99325c125fc9a45414f9f45ddd4105&oe=54EF4AD5&__gda__=1423426647_70cc128a9564e6b507187eb8d3eb7b07)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on November 01, 2014, 02:23:51 PM
 :2funny:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 02, 2014, 11:58:59 AM
Marktok, if you don't like music too much maybe you can try surgery to cure your phobia:

Quote
A 44-year-old businessman started suffering unexplained seizures, and when doctors investigated they found an abnormality in his brain: a damaged left amygdala.

As New Scientist reported Friday, after doctors cut out the man’s damaged left amygdala, the man started noticing that he’d lost a fear — and gained a loathing.

While he had previously suffered from arachnophobia — a fear of spiders — the man found after surgery that he wasn’t scared of spiders anymore, but that he had picked up a “stomach-lurching” disgust for music.

source: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/11/01/he-was-scared-of-spiders-then-doctors-cut-a-chunk-of-his-brain-out-and-something-strange-happened/

Thanks, but I'm not *that* arachnophobic.  Some sacrifices aren't worth it.  :) 




(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/559563_984108778285120_2765933038898801372_n.jpg?oh=3c99325c125fc9a45414f9f45ddd4105&oe=54EF4AD5&__gda__=1423426647_70cc128a9564e6b507187eb8d3eb7b07)

ROFL! 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 02, 2014, 02:03:32 PM
Just how drunk to Dalmatians have to be for that to happen...?


Also, regarding what those spiders ate: it's a wastewater treatment plant for a city. The gnat and midge population, and related insects, must have been proportionately massive.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 02, 2014, 04:22:19 PM
Also, regarding what those spiders ate: it's a wastewater treatment plant for a city. The gnat and midge population, and related insects, must have been proportionately massive.

Good point.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on November 04, 2014, 12:32:56 PM
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/videos/Gallery/ab/video_gallery/british-pop-star-finds-spider-living-in-her-ear/2312993038001/2312993038001_0

Better cover your orifices at night.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 04, 2014, 12:54:03 PM
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/videos/Gallery/ab/video_gallery/british-pop-star-finds-spider-living-in-her-ear/2312993038001/2312993038001_0

Better cover your orifices at night.

I'll just have to risk it.  Wearing ear-plugs on a regular/long-term basis seems to give me headaches for some reason.  :-\ 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Arctic Blast on November 04, 2014, 01:38:59 PM
http://www.theweathernetwork.com/videos/Gallery/ab/video_gallery/british-pop-star-finds-spider-living-in-her-ear/2312993038001/2312993038001_0

Better cover your orifices at night.

I'll just have to risk it.  Wearing ear-plugs on a regular/long-term basis seems to give me headaches for some reason.  :-\

That's the spiders who nested in there trying to bite their way out of your skull.  ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on November 05, 2014, 11:00:34 AM
Still here means they are nesting on the site.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on November 05, 2014, 11:41:27 AM
(http://i1076.photobucket.com/albums/w447/Robert_Ellis48/10388075_10152534988572057_5054312328720513531_n_zps24db5a4e.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 05, 2014, 01:57:07 PM
^  A good chart, if a little more specific than necessary. 

All I really need are two categories:  "Destroy With Extreme Prejudice" and "Flee For Your Life".  :P 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 05, 2014, 08:02:29 PM
^  A good chart, if a little more specific than necessary. 

All I really need are two categories:  "Destroy With Extreme Prejudice" and "Flee For Your Life".  :P

We've got your back if you ever need to flee.  (http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/tiger.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 05, 2014, 08:11:07 PM
I don't.  I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on November 05, 2014, 08:13:54 PM
I don't.  I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.

(http://severed-cinema.com/images/ijkl/kingdom-of-spiders/kingdom-of-the-spiders-dvd-04.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on November 05, 2014, 08:22:33 PM
I remember seeing a behind-the-scenes shot of some movie with lots of of tarantulas. It might even have been that one. All the spiders were under upside down glasses, waiting to be uncovered when the actor was in place and the cameras started to roll.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on November 06, 2014, 06:38:44 AM
(http://i1076.photobucket.com/albums/w447/Robert_Ellis48/10388075_10152534988572057_5054312328720513531_n_zps24db5a4e.jpg)

HA! Thanks, Bawb! I stole this for my Facebook page. I have friends and family in spider-plagued Oklahoma who will find this chart handy.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on November 06, 2014, 06:42:05 AM
You're very welcome, Steelie  ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on November 06, 2014, 07:48:43 AM
Heading to an Okie near you?

(http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/wiredscience/2010/01/cerbalus2.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on November 06, 2014, 07:49:44 AM
Yes, a spider eating a bird!

(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01080/earth-graphics-200_1080292a.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on November 06, 2014, 07:57:06 AM
(http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1280x1024q90/540/qF6Uh7.jpg) (https://imageshack.com/i/f0qF6Uh7j)

for a morale boost, and just to let Martok know Jesus is on his side i give you the Tarantula Hawk Wasp

she doesnt eat him, she lays an egg inside him, that egg hatches and he eats the tarantula from the inside, slowly, over a long period

fk you tarantula!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 06, 2014, 08:28:05 AM
I don't.  I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 06, 2014, 02:54:22 PM
I don't.  I want to see him screaming like a little girl as he's running across an open field chases by tiny spiders.

You'll only see me run from tiny spiders if there's an awful bloody lot of them...such as in that water treatment plant.  :buck2: 




for a morale boost, and just to let Martok know Jesus is on his side i give you the Tarantula Hawk Wasp

she doesnt eat him, she lays an egg inside him, that egg hatches and he eats the tarantula from the inside, slowly, over a long period

fk you tarantula!!

LOL!  Thanks geek.  You know how to cheer a fellow right up.  O0 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on November 06, 2014, 05:52:33 PM
Here's another little tidbit, the mud daubers here find spiders, paralyze them, and then wall them in with their eggs so the new mud daubers have something to eat after they are born.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on November 06, 2014, 06:39:07 PM
I like wasps about as much as spiders.  Those little assholes.  >:(
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 06, 2014, 06:42:18 PM
Here's another little tidbit, the mud daubers here find spiders, paralyze them, and then wall them in with their eggs so the new mud daubers have something to eat after they are born.

Yeah, that's where I kinda draw the line. Martok isn't going to like it, but I sorta feel bad for the spiders at that point.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 06, 2014, 07:00:42 PM
(http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f4/d9/91/f4d99189aac1e4eea7fd407afc2784a1.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on November 07, 2014, 09:13:17 AM
LOL Star


(http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&ved=0CAUQjBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fift.tt%2F1nzlGk3&ei=d-9cVNiMG9iqyAT-u4CAAQ&psig=AFQjCNE2vwxJPAVgY96WWa6IPkiIpsHrAA&ust=1415463159487881)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on November 07, 2014, 09:58:39 AM
Wasps are not bad, they are an important cleanup crew like ants. Janitors if you will. They get belligerent in the fall apparently when they switch from regular food to fermented stores. Yes, they are angry drunks.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 07, 2014, 11:57:42 AM
This was already posted here elsewhere, but it's worth posting again: 


(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Funny/10338845_662858813749603_4255932202399544138_n_zps0ea6db2b.jpg)

 ;D


Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on November 10, 2014, 03:56:13 PM
this at the foot of the forum, 22:55 GMT 10/11/2014

48 Guests, 17 Users (9 Spiders)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on November 10, 2014, 04:12:58 PM
The spiders have come to see Martok....
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 11, 2014, 01:03:29 AM
They always do. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 12, 2014, 08:04:14 AM
Of course they always do!

After all, slightly more than half the users (not guests) who logged on when UGeek made that check were

ACTUALLY SPIDERS IN DISGUISE!


Odds are reasonably good you've been talking to spiders the whole time, Martok, and you didn't even notice us. Them. I meant them. Like the ants in that movie.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on November 12, 2014, 08:54:26 AM
I wave my mandibles arms at Jason in agreement.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on November 14, 2014, 04:44:22 PM
(http://i747.photobucket.com/albums/xx120/Staggerwing/de2b549356f356254860c8f86bd8db7b_zpsfb8edbe3.jpg)

He said he knew you. Then he tried to climb into my beer. Can you vouch for him?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 14, 2014, 10:19:25 PM
Martok is a huge fan of Next Generation. Hopefully he'll heed this message:

(http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2013/02/funny-pictures-819/29-funny-pictures-819.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 15, 2014, 07:23:59 AM
{rushing off to trademark "Zombiespiderpolcalypse" and then sell it to Asylum and/or SyFy}
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on November 16, 2014, 03:43:19 AM
{rushing off to trademark "Zombiespiderpolcalypse" and then sell it to Asylum and/or SyFy}


Spidernado?

Arachnado? 

Arachnicane!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on November 17, 2014, 11:13:25 AM
(http://i747.photobucket.com/albums/xx120/Staggerwing/de2b549356f356254860c8f86bd8db7b_zpsfb8edbe3.jpg)

He said he knew you. Then he tried to climb into my beer. Can you vouch for him?

Well played!  Very well played!!!

(http://cdn1.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/sarcastic-clapping-captain-picard.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 17, 2014, 11:25:02 AM
Bonus points -no Aveeno in the bkgd
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 17, 2014, 11:28:54 AM
(http://i747.photobucket.com/albums/xx120/Staggerwing/de2b549356f356254860c8f86bd8db7b_zpsfb8edbe3.jpg)

He said he knew you. Then he tried to climb into my beer. Can you vouch for him?

Okay, I have to admit that one made me laugh. 




Martok is a huge fan of Next Generation. Hopefully he'll heed this message:

(http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2013/02/funny-pictures-819/29-funny-pictures-819.jpg)

Fortunately, I'm not a believer in the zombie apocalypse.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 17, 2014, 12:03:15 PM
Fortunately, I'm not a believer in the zombie apocalypse.  :P 

yeah, well there are also people that don'tbelieve violence solves anything, until they get punched in the face!  ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 17, 2014, 01:43:10 PM
Arachnicane ftw!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on November 19, 2014, 07:43:48 PM
Arachnicane ftw!


Brilliant!

 ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 29, 2014, 10:39:02 PM
(https://scontent-b-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1530368_10202177589720786_7356714505749676008_n.jpg?oh=84a5669d97dddd90ed8bdc9fe9330968&oe=550B2463)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 02, 2014, 12:41:59 AM
^  Doubly amusing for me, as I once slept with a woman named Cinnamon (yes, really). 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on December 02, 2014, 05:08:02 AM
^  Doubly amusing for me, as I once slept with a woman named Cinnamon (yes, really).

OK, that is a story just begging to be told.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 02, 2014, 05:09:37 AM
I'd ask if she was a stripper, but what's funny is I know a lady named Cinnamon here locally, and she's super attractive, not just physically. And no, she's not a stripper.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on December 02, 2014, 05:11:38 AM
In high school I dated a girl named bunny.

She was far too sweet to deserve how that name could be misinterpreted.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on December 02, 2014, 06:17:42 AM
You all have lived such rich lives!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 02, 2014, 01:01:27 PM
^  Doubly amusing for me, as I once slept with a woman named Cinnamon (yes, really).

OK, that is a story just begging to be told.

Heh.  Not sure if it's all that interesting really, but I'll give you the short version: 

Two years ago, during the summer and autumn, Cinnamon had been a recurring long-term guest staying at one of the hotels I work at.  There'd been a teeny-tiny bit of flirting between the two of us, but I'd never made anything of it.  Anyway, on her last night staying at the hotel (which just happened to be one of my nights off), I was in town running errands and visiting friends.  After doing so, I then swung by the hotel to say hello to my friend who was working the night shift, ran into Cinnamon while I was there, and...well, essentially one thing led to another.  ::) 



If you want the longer, (somewhat) funnier version, we'll probably have to sit down over a couple beers.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on December 02, 2014, 02:26:08 PM
Ha!

OK, we'll have some beer.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on December 14, 2014, 04:13:38 PM
I worked with a girl named 'Sandy Lots'.  A friend was hittin that for awhile too.

Despite people asking her whether that was her porn name after every introduction, she took it with a sense of humor.  Didn't know if her parents were hippies or just hated her from birth.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on December 19, 2014, 05:47:19 PM
MARTOK!  DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS!  YOU WILL BE SCARED!!!  Everyone else, carry on.


http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 19, 2014, 08:45:34 PM
MARTOK!  DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS!  YOU WILL BE SCARED!!!  Everyone else, carry on.


http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout

(http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/177/6/a/50_shades_of_fucking_nope_by_dudeofawesomeness-d7o4rew.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on December 21, 2014, 03:35:24 AM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on December 21, 2014, 05:16:40 AM
Turn and say "You were always my best friend, you know that?"

Then open the door and jump out after aiming the car at a concrete bridge abutment just to be sure.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on December 21, 2014, 05:25:45 PM
(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)

Clearly the driver's side ejection seat is not an option.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on December 23, 2014, 02:11:38 PM
Spider-dress, spider-dress; legs attack and you're in distress... (http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/12/spider-dress_spider-dress_legs_attack_youre_in_dis.php)

(http://www.toplessrobot.com/spiderdress.jpg)

Videos and promotional quotes (with snarky comments) at the Topless Robot link.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 24, 2014, 01:02:43 PM
MARTOK!  DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS!  YOU WILL BE SCARED!!!  Everyone else, carry on.


http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout

Goddammit, I shot the tank.  Argh. 




(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)

Fucking hell.  I'm gonna have to start wearing a helmet while I'm in the car. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on December 24, 2014, 04:54:10 PM
MARTOK!  DO NOT CLICK ON THIS SLIDE SHOW OF SPIDERS!  YOU WILL BE SCARED!!!  Everyone else, carry on.


http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/offbeat/colorful-spiders-ready-for-their-close-up/ss-BBgVcm1?ocid=mailsignout

Goddammit, I shot the tank.  Argh. 




(https://scontent-a-mia.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10849722_10202284627436662_1641465588872326286_n.jpg?oh=e51c986a1148193d06e68f88f12a9b31&oe=54FF8B5F)

Fucking hell.  I'm gonna have to start wearing a helmet while I'm in the car.

Why? Isn't that how Klingons get those ridges on their heads?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 28, 2014, 12:53:15 PM
Nah.  Both car roofs and spider carapaces are too soft. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 26, 2015, 07:48:17 PM
A modicum of revenge for you, Martok.



Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 27, 2015, 09:44:38 AM
A little (http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/nsfw.gif) would be appropriate.


A modicum of revenge for you, Martok.




Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 27, 2015, 10:30:53 AM
Yeah, sorry about that.   :-[
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 27, 2015, 12:41:48 PM
Yeah, sorry about that.   :-[

Heh. No worries. Both kids are home today and, well, I was listening without headphones.

I doubt they were paying attention, but...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 27, 2015, 01:31:38 PM
I was doing several things at one time when I posted it and the little voice in the back of my head telling me to put a NSFW on it got lost in the shuffle.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 27, 2015, 01:46:50 PM
I was doing several things at one time when I posted it and the little voice in the back of my head telling me to put a NSFW on it got lost in the shuffle.

No worries, man. Seriously :)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 28, 2015, 12:40:55 AM
http://www.answers.com/article/1183871/14-horrifying-reasons-arachnophobes-must-avoid-australia?paramt=21&param4=fb-demo&param1=lifestyle&param2=34707031
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 28, 2015, 09:24:41 AM
http://www.answers.com/article/1183871/14-horrifying-reasons-arachnophobes-must-avoid-australia?paramt=21&param4=fb-demo&param1=lifestyle&param2=34707031

OK, that was pretty horrifying and I'm not afraid of spiders in the least. (http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/outtahere.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 28, 2015, 11:41:00 AM
No way am I gonna shoot that tank........
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 28, 2015, 11:55:29 AM
the one sucking the brains out of the birds head was pretty cool.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 28, 2015, 01:05:11 PM
Martok - FFG is hiring in your neck of the woods

http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=5333
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on January 28, 2015, 02:03:53 PM
Strangely Fortunately, the position of "Game Center Line Cook" has nothing to do with spiders!

 :D

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 04, 2015, 09:14:48 AM
http://www.answers.com/article/1183871/14-horrifying-reasons-arachnophobes-must-avoid-australia?paramt=21&param4=fb-demo&param1=lifestyle&param2=34707031

Already knew most of that.  But thanks for the reminder to never go there.  :P 




Martok - FFG is hiring in your neck of the woods

http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=5333


Ooh, nice!  Thanks for the heads-up LB.  :) 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 04, 2015, 09:21:19 AM
Martok - FFG is hiring in your neck of the woods
http://www.fantasyflightgames.com/edge_news.asp?eidn=5333



Ooh, nice!  Thanks for the heads-up LB.  :) 

ahem...   :tickedoff:




 ::)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 04, 2015, 09:43:34 AM
you do kinda look the same.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on February 04, 2015, 05:04:02 PM
You mean they both kinda look like Willard Scott?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 18, 2015, 07:22:23 AM
Argh, sorry Brant.  I was a little out of it that morning...  :-[ 




You mean they both kinda look like Willard Scott?

<snicker>

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on February 26, 2015, 01:50:38 PM
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8453128704/hBD955C52/)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on March 04, 2015, 12:34:13 AM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on March 04, 2015, 02:29:01 AM
Id build the 'for sale' sign quicker than the human eye
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 04, 2015, 06:11:41 AM


(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/flamethrower.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 06, 2015, 03:50:15 AM
^  Yup, definitely time to break out the flame-thrower again! 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on March 09, 2015, 12:20:48 PM
Where the hell is that??!!  Australia?  Africa?  Some f-ing place far, far away I f-ing hope!!  :o :-\
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on March 09, 2015, 06:41:13 PM
Where the hell is that??!!  Australia?  Africa?  Some f-ing place far, far away I f-ing hope!!  :o :-\

Somewhere far, far away like Halifax?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 09, 2015, 07:30:57 PM
Where the hell is that??!!  Australia?  Africa?  Some f-ing place far, far away I f-ing hope!!  :o :-\

I went to the YouTube page for answers. Didn't find a location but some of the comments are LOLz.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on March 09, 2015, 09:17:33 PM
Could be somewhere in Florida.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on March 09, 2015, 09:19:14 PM
nah, we got lizards, geckos and iguanas and stuff down here to eat em.+
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on March 09, 2015, 09:21:49 PM
That's true.  But they grow'em big like that in F L A.  Never seen'em infest a house like that though.  I'm all for the flamethrower in that case, too.  Too many of the boogers to go in their firing with just pesticide.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 10, 2015, 09:53:06 AM
Could be somewhere in Florida.

Yeah, I'm thinking US for sure. They look like wolf spiders to me.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 10, 2015, 09:53:46 AM
That's true.  But they grow'em big like that in F L A.  Never seen'em infest a house like that though.  I'm all for the flamethrower in that case, too.  Too many of the boogers to go in their firing with just pesticide.

One of the comments on YouTube is hilarious - it recommends setting fire to it from the outside. If you do it from the inside they'll all escape :)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on March 10, 2015, 10:38:42 AM
That's true.  But they grow'em big like that in F L A.  Never seen'em infest a house like that though.  I'm all for the flamethrower in that case, too.  Too many of the boogers to go in their firing with just pesticide.

One of the comments on YouTube is hilarious - it recommends setting fire to it from the outside. If you do it from the inside they'll all escape :)

Right there, that's good advice.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 10, 2015, 01:12:09 PM
Seeing all the "Nope" comments is pretty funny too. 



I also cracked up at this one: 
Quote
Train them to be your army of the night and become a super-villain.


And its response: 
Quote
Door to Door salesman rings the bell - "Release the Spiders"

;D 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on March 10, 2015, 01:36:23 PM
Looks like it could be season 2 of Penny Dreadful.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 11, 2015, 05:55:10 PM
Longblade be like

(https://scontent-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/l/t1.0-9/10670065_741230885965980_6254097764564041880_n.jpg?oh=77f63109be31631096443f024334449a&oe=558690F0)

then Martok be like

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/11042987_10203705178100959_6716970374451018951_n.jpg?oh=302c372a59f768163e0160bae4d04273&oe=5577BCC5&__gda__=1434428200_30db29f57c68b167e06da293bed3659d)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 11, 2015, 06:01:04 PM
Longblade be like

(https://scontent-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/l/t1.0-9/10670065_741230885965980_6254097764564041880_n.jpg?oh=77f63109be31631096443f024334449a&oe=558690F0)

then Martok be like

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/11042987_10203705178100959_6716970374451018951_n.jpg?oh=302c372a59f768163e0160bae4d04273&oe=5577BCC5&__gda__=1434428200_30db29f57c68b167e06da293bed3659d)

Well, it looks like if I get Martok I know what his Secret Santa gift is going to be...Heheheheh  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 12, 2015, 04:43:23 AM
Note to self:  Make sure flame-thrower is fully topped off at Christmas-time...  ;) 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 13, 2015, 08:23:14 AM
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/563462/Brazilian-wandering-spider-bite-gives-men-four-hour-erection-in-Tesco-bananas

uh...

Quote
A mum was scared stiff after opening a bunch of supermarket bananas and finding rare South American spiders - whose bite can give a man a four hour erection.

Unfortunately, it then also kills him.

Shocked Maria Layton, 43, spotted the creepy crawlies after opening the bag of yellow fruit she bought from Tesco.

She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider - the most deadly in the world.

As soon as she discovered the cocoon they started to hatch so she quickly put them in a sealed container in the freezer and called Tesco customer services.

The species is deadly and its venom can kill a human in just two hours - but can also give male victims a painful four-hour erection.

Its venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.

Mother-of-two Maria went to open the bag for her eldest daughter Siri, six, but noticed there was something funny on the side of one of the bananas.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 13, 2015, 09:24:30 AM
I think we've discussed that spider before. Maybe at that other place we used to hang, but we've been over it before.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 13, 2015, 11:01:22 AM
In other news, Siri has been around long enough for parents to name their daughters Siri.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 13, 2015, 11:44:47 AM


Here is a song that sums up my reaction thusly:
(warning: very, very, very NSFW)


Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 13, 2015, 11:59:23 AM
take out the "s" in the "https"
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 13, 2015, 01:31:36 PM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/11062066_478574225625436_8012296309638151371_n.jpg?oh=aae3fdfe9a3962623b82698e9ae9fdf2&oe=55BBE540&__gda__=1433670897_eb381524b9926fb4e1152b1c6f4b94e8)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 13, 2015, 01:42:45 PM
^  Ha!  Well-said.  :P 




http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/563462/Brazilian-wandering-spider-bite-gives-men-four-hour-erection-in-Tesco-bananas

uh...

Quote
A mum was scared stiff after opening a bunch of supermarket bananas and finding rare South American spiders - whose bite can give a man a four hour erection.

Unfortunately, it then also kills him.

Shocked Maria Layton, 43, spotted the creepy crawlies after opening the bag of yellow fruit she bought from Tesco.

She found the bananas, shipped from Costa Rica, were infested with eggs from the Brazilian Wandering Spider - the most deadly in the world.

As soon as she discovered the cocoon they started to hatch so she quickly put them in a sealed container in the freezer and called Tesco customer services.

The species is deadly and its venom can kill a human in just two hours - but can also give male victims a painful four-hour erection.

Its venom is currently being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments.

Mother-of-two Maria went to open the bag for her eldest daughter Siri, six, but noticed there was something funny on the side of one of the bananas.

Yeah, I read that story last night.  I seem to recall their was a similar story (also in the UK) around a year ago as well. 

Oh yeah:  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU......  :o  :-\  :knuppel2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 17, 2015, 08:55:34 AM
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 17, 2015, 09:14:07 AM
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263

Quote
That's especially true if the black widows are sexed-up cannibal females.

Sounds like a typical weekend at Mirth's.

Quote
Andrade points to the pink sex toys in the experiment room. "We have vibrators, as ways of stimulating the web. This is actually a really good way of creating regular, predictable stimuli. It's hooked up to some electronics, that allow us to trigger it a particular time or particular duration, and we can measure the actual vibrations produced. We've had some pretty funny encounters with personal stimulatory devices."

Sounds like a typical weekend at Star's.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 17, 2015, 01:12:36 PM
Black Widow Sex Research Is Just as Dangerous as It Sounds

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/black-widow-sex-research-is-just-as-dangerous-as-it-sounds-263




Fucking hell! 
Quote
but most can survive up to six months without eating. "Which is why they're invasive," says Andrade. "They can get stuck in a box and shipped somewhere, and even if it's months later, they can start reproducing immediately."

That will now keep me from sleeping today...  :o :o :o 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on March 17, 2015, 01:37:29 PM
There's a conspiracy afoot -

Dog walkers always find dead bodies

People who buy bananas always find deadly killer bastards in the fruit

Do not walk dogs or eat bananas - world order restored

And never ever walk dogs eating a banana - only bad things can happen
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 17, 2015, 02:52:55 PM
We don't have many black widows around here -- maybe the fiddlebacks eat them.  :-\

But I've seen at least one outbreak in my life, as a boy, a crazy number of black widows that summer. Some so large the little hourglass mark was distended so it didn't even look like an hourglass anymore.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 19, 2015, 04:52:14 AM
(https://scontent-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10491092_1065238040163873_4496292886381493445_n.jpg?oh=c61a7453649d1942cbcf703ec9d1aaea&oe=55792D08)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 19, 2015, 06:05:27 AM
^  Not enough to make an appreciable difference in my lifetime...so I'll continue to kill away!  8) 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 25, 2015, 03:01:19 PM
seriously?  as thought anything good comes of this...

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1619402_10152776940227671_1462592639954904776_n.jpg?oh=0242c7234082844e34d81dc58cdadb96&oe=55B64B41&__gda__=1437042987_62e5c41678b7fb0af3b5d17adb8c9c7d)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on March 26, 2015, 04:43:30 AM
seriously?  as thought anything good comes of this...

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1619402_10152776940227671_1462592639954904776_n.jpg?oh=0242c7234082844e34d81dc58cdadb96&oe=55B64B41&__gda__=1437042987_62e5c41678b7fb0af3b5d17adb8c9c7d)

Sure there is.... Spiderman!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on March 26, 2015, 04:58:43 AM
Huh... a Spider Farm... who knew?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 26, 2015, 06:32:07 AM
http://www.cracked.com/article_22180_5-insane-things-we-recently-discovered-in-human-body.html

Quote
#5. There Are Tiny Spiders Living in Your Face Right Now
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 26, 2015, 02:26:01 PM
Also visiting the forum at any given time.


Re sneakier and more deadly -- this seems to have affected snakes in West TN. We used to have at least some friendly snakes. Now they're all touchy and/or mean as hell. The ones with composure got smacked, I guess, and didn't spread their genes effectively.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 26, 2015, 02:27:49 PM
Btw, stop clawing at your face, Martok.

You'll just make the spiders angry.

"Sorry. There is no upside to this news."
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on March 26, 2015, 02:35:53 PM
Quote
Those blue things are tiny arachnids known as "Demodex brevis," and they live in your pores right now. Yes, in your pores. Researchers discovered that precisely 100 percent of people examined were home to massive colonies of microscopic face spiders.

As you can imagine, some people react poorly to mites holding massive raves all up in their grills. It's now thought that a common skin condition called rosacea, which leads to rashes and inflammation, might be caused by an immune reaction to these scaled-down Lovecraftian monsters. But, hey, life isn't exactly rosy for our face friends, either: They don't live long, so nature never bothered to give them an ass. They stick around just long enough to gorge themselves, lay eggs, and die. So, that's sort of an upside: At least the millions of arachnids living in your face aren't using it as a port-a-John.

..well thats good, wouldn't want a bunch of spider crap in my pores.

Quote
Oh wait, it says here that they just store all that poop up, and, when they die, it releases all at once, all over your face.

...oh crap :buck2:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 26, 2015, 02:40:15 PM
Quote
Oh wait, it says here that they just store all that poop up, and, when they die, it releases all at once, all over your face.

...oh crap :buck2:

Brings an entirely new meaning to the phrase "getting shit faced."
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 01, 2015, 04:28:34 AM
seriously?  as thought anything good comes of this...

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1619402_10152776940227671_1462592639954904776_n.jpg?oh=0242c7234082844e34d81dc58cdadb96&oe=55B64B41&__gda__=1437042987_62e5c41678b7fb0af3b5d17adb8c9c7d)

For my own peace of mind, I'm deciding that this is a Photoshopping job.  Because why/how would that be an actual *thing*??  :o 




http://www.cracked.com/article_22180_5-insane-things-we-recently-discovered-in-human-body.html

Quote
#5. There Are Tiny Spiders Living in Your Face Right Now

...And I'm just going to forget I ever read that.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on April 01, 2015, 05:40:22 AM
(http://www.aarcentral.com/pics/180.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 01, 2015, 10:56:12 AM
(http://www.aarcentral.com/pics/180.jpg)

Ha ha, that's a pretty clever novelty print...!

...they have shadows...

...and at least one has a body extending off the paper...

...ohhhhh crap.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 01, 2015, 11:06:14 AM
"ohhhhh crap", in more ways than one!!  :P
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 01, 2015, 01:09:11 PM
Yeah.  At first, I was like, "yeah very funny there are spiders printed on the toilet paper". 

Then I was like, "oh wait..."  :o 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 01, 2015, 06:05:12 PM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on April 02, 2015, 05:47:39 AM
Obviously not good news for the prospective bog-roll user then.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 02, 2015, 05:47:53 AM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.

Well that just makes it 1000 times better.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on April 02, 2015, 05:49:40 AM
That's a pair of socks you'll never wear again.............
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 02, 2015, 06:13:50 AM
I always check my shoes before putting them on now. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 02, 2015, 06:59:17 AM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.

you're the expert, so I'll take your word for it
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on April 02, 2015, 06:12:19 PM
Pretty sure those are brown recluse babies, too.

you're the expert, so I'll take your word for it

I'd like a little better look.  A live one if possible, but, they have the right body type and legs.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 09, 2015, 10:16:29 AM
^^ That's what I was thinking, too, MD. The resolution isn't good enough to tell if they have the fiddle on their backs.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on April 09, 2015, 10:18:35 AM
...and obviously, the question is; if they are the wee bairns...where's moma?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on April 09, 2015, 11:16:02 AM
(https://synopsissophie.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/a_spider_attacks_eight_legged_freaks_001.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on April 09, 2015, 11:24:42 AM
Cheerio then. I'm off............
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 10, 2015, 02:13:48 PM
Just the image I want to see when I'm heading to bed soon...  :buck2: 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on April 10, 2015, 02:19:02 PM
Just the image I want to see when I'm heading to bed soon...  :buck2:

Yeah, but just imagine you have a nice 12 gauge in your hands and that will fix your giant spider problems.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 10, 2015, 05:24:40 PM
Or maybe an M79 with plenty of reloads
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 17, 2015, 04:16:56 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10458371_10152878058788720_6024488394127180298_n.jpg?oh=ac0fae62534432e64746e3d2103fed64&oe=55E54951&__gda__=1436544071_fe9f711dd0262fa70a58099152ab2732)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 17, 2015, 10:26:46 AM
If they're a signal that she doesn't want to date me anymore...then congratulations, mission accomplished.  ::) 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 21, 2015, 01:51:24 PM
Spider bed, spider bed,
does whatever the spider said.

Can it walk
on the ceiling?
No it can't
it's just a spider-bed.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 21, 2015, 01:51:55 PM
On the other hand, there are spider beds and there are spider beds. {Googling "drow queen"}
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on May 07, 2015, 03:09:42 PM
Martok -- going to Chicago (http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/05/07/mag-mile-hotel-warns-guests-about-flying-spiders/) anytime soon??
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 07, 2015, 03:53:35 PM
No -- and apparently I won't be ever again, at least not in the spring.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on May 07, 2015, 08:12:06 PM
No -- and apparently I won't be ever again, at least not in the spring.  :buck2:

Keep your windows closed and you'll be fine.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on May 15, 2015, 10:31:23 AM
Martok, I hear Australia is real nice...when its not raining spiders (http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/spiders-fall-from-the-sky-in-australia-leaving-what-enthusiasts-call-angel-hair-10249514.html)...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on May 15, 2015, 11:22:08 AM
Martok, I hear Australia is real nice...when its not raining spiders (http://www.independent.co.uk/incoming/spiders-fall-from-the-sky-in-australia-leaving-what-enthusiasts-call-angel-hair-10249514.html)...

I saw that but didn't want to give him a heart attack.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 19, 2015, 07:29:51 AM
No worries, I'd already read the story anyway.  They didn't show any pictures, so the trauma was only minor.  ;) 




Martok, I hear Australia is real nice...

Right.  Because the country (http://www.cracked.com/funny-163-australia/) isn't already full of (http://www.thrillist.com/travel/nation/things-in-australia-that-will-kill-you-animals-that-will-try-to-kill-you) plants & animals (http://weknowmemes.com/2013/05/australia-where-everything-is-trying-to-kill-you/) trying to kill you (http://www.cracked.com/funny-5997-the-animals-that-make-australia-deathtrap-it-is/).  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on May 19, 2015, 08:00:27 AM
Quote
No worries, I'd already read the story anyway.  They didn't show any pictures, so the trauma was only minor.  ;) 

Yeah, they showed video instead!  :buck2:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on May 24, 2015, 08:21:26 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:

Quote
An agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.

video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on May 24, 2015, 09:37:10 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:

Quote
An agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.

video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html

Its all fun and games till it leaps on your face.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on May 24, 2015, 09:59:20 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:

Quote
An agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.

video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html

Its all fun and games till it leaps on your face.


..... and eats your flesh to satiate it's robotic hunger.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 25, 2015, 12:32:12 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:

Quote
An agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.

video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html

Seeing that somersaulting towards the camera is almost more terrifying than a spider walking normally.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on May 25, 2015, 02:03:06 PM
Know your enemy, Martok:

Quote
An agile spider that somersaults down sand dunes has been discovered in the deserts of Morocco. The dancing arachnid has even been nicknamed the "flic-flac spider" for its gymnastic dexterity and has served as inspiration for a creepy-crawly robot.

video at the link: http://www.livescience.com/45464-flic-flac-spider.html

Seeing that somersaulting towards the camera is almost more terrifying than a spider walking normally.  :buck2:

Fk that prancing nancy boy - scroll to the bottom of the story for the bat eating spiders!!  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 25, 2015, 02:14:26 PM
Yeah, I'm gonna take that with a tall glass of Nope... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on May 30, 2015, 03:59:28 PM
Spiders serenade. Who knew?

http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-32845010

That is right before they leap on your face.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on May 31, 2015, 11:52:21 AM
Dude, it's *always* right before they leap on your face... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on June 09, 2015, 06:11:51 AM
(http://41.media.tumblr.com/8c52a83ecb300cf7a0e281db9af9196c/tumblr_npn46fUXjr1rxxgowo1_500.png)
(http://40.media.tumblr.com/6e7ed09a4296aacb6e09ed48c7a3b00c/tumblr_npn46fUXjr1rxxgowo2_500.png)
(http://40.media.tumblr.com/14f822d6d4eee5640e47ff692c4e580d/tumblr_npn46fUXjr1rxxgowo3_500.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on June 09, 2015, 04:58:38 PM
"Po Po"  :))
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on June 10, 2015, 03:55:54 AM
Good one, Barthheart.  ;D 



Incidentally, when I got up tonight, there was a spider running down my chest toward my nether regions, and another running over the side of the bed when (upon that initial unpleasant discovery) I flung my sheets back and sprung out of bed.  Not how I wanted to start my day.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on June 10, 2015, 04:30:07 AM
Martok, I've assumed that you regularly bug-bomb your livingspace with those room foggers. Is that not so or have they proven to be of limited effectiveness?

(http://i5.walmartimages.com/dfw/dce07b8c-2b0c/k2-_a64530b1-1aef-4109-8bac-d2d25ea05f76.v1.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on June 10, 2015, 05:11:51 AM
Your best bet is to use glue traps spread along the baseboards.  Spiders are polite enough to use the straight line more than to run will he nil he around the carpet.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on June 10, 2015, 05:37:48 AM
^Most of the spiders in my place seem to prefer to traverse the ceiling and then drop down onto their destinations like tiny eight-legged Fallschirmjägeren.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on June 10, 2015, 05:38:50 AM
They also like packing boxes.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on June 10, 2015, 05:39:52 AM
Martok, I've assumed that you regularly bug-bomb your livingspace with those room foggers. Is that not so or have they proven to be of limited effectiveness?

(http://i5.walmartimages.com/dfw/dce07b8c-2b0c/k2-_a64530b1-1aef-4109-8bac-d2d25ea05f76.v1.jpg)

They've been of limited effectiveness.  My room's on a floor halfway below ground, so they're always invading my space.  Regular vacuuming (especially of the corners and ceiling) seems to be more effective. 




Your best bet is to use glue traps spread along the baseboards.  Spiders are polite enough to use the straight line more than to run will he nil he around the carpet.

Good to know MD, thanks.  Hopefully I won't need them as much at my new place (it's a ground floor unit), but I'll bear that in mind, especially when winter comes around again. 




They also like packing boxes.

Yes, I've (re)discovered that a few times in the last week or so already.  :-\ 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on July 02, 2015, 10:21:20 AM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11402938_1266729603340760_6058354214589880893_n.jpg?oh=1aa8b6733c324f843d266c6b9a77ad71&oe=561B6D7E)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on July 02, 2015, 09:19:27 PM
Next comes the lawn.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 03, 2015, 08:33:38 PM
than to run will he nil he

 ???

Do you mean "willy-nilly?" Or am I missing some super-subtle pun that the Hater Of PunsTM just dropped?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on July 03, 2015, 09:09:26 PM
Isn't will he nil he the meaning of willy nilly.?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on July 05, 2015, 02:30:02 PM
Zounds (God's wounds)! -- MD is quite correct!  O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on July 05, 2015, 02:56:57 PM
Thanks for the confirmation, JP :)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 06, 2015, 05:46:03 AM
Incidentally, I just have to say how lovely it is to not have spiders in my apartment.  That's definitely one of the nice things about having moved.  O0 




(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/11402938_1266729603340760_6058354214589880893_n.jpg?oh=1aa8b6733c324f843d266c6b9a77ad71&oe=561B6D7E)

What a maroon.  Only an idiot would use a rifle in that situation. 

...That's what flame-throwers are for.  :D 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on August 06, 2015, 01:48:29 PM
Maybe this little guy will change Martok's opinion of arachnids...

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on August 06, 2015, 03:40:35 PM
Very cute. I think that one stole Mirth's favorite dance move.

Left arm up! Both arms up! Left arm down!

DANCE!

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/dancingmonkey.gif)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on August 06, 2015, 06:44:06 PM
Looks like the female wasn't impressed by the Chav Spider.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on August 06, 2015, 06:49:37 PM
Looks like the female wasn't impressed by the Chav Spider.

In fairness, Mirth's dance moves don't always pay off, either.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on August 15, 2015, 07:13:42 PM
An interesting tale.

http://www.strangehistory.net/2015/08/13/witching-spiders-from-suffolk/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Nefaro on August 15, 2015, 11:23:36 PM
What a maroon.  Only an idiot would use a rifle in that situation. 

...That's what flame-throwers are for.  :D

My father and one of his buddy's used to tell me about another friend of theirs who was completely horrified of snakes.

So, one of them had found a big black snake wrapped around some old circular well wall made of rock.  They caught it and put it in his truck. 

Evidently their prank elicited an even more impressively terrified response from the guy than expected.  Dunno if he was going shooting or what, but the guy had his .44 with him and, after seeing the big snake in the floorboard, unloaded it into the thing.  And through the floor of his vehicle.  Despite it being a non-poisonous black snake.  The guy completely lost it.

My dad & his buddies always laughed and shook their head when recounting that. :crazy2:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on August 17, 2015, 07:19:54 AM
If it was big enough to be wrapped around a stone well, I don't blame him shooting a hole in his floor.  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on August 17, 2015, 08:47:27 AM
Looks like the female wasn't impressed by the Chav Spider.

In fairness, Mirth's dance moves don't always pay off, either.

hilarious, i like to think thats what i look like when viewing mirths posts - crazy guy comes in wafting his arms about, all you can do is stand still and think WTF is this?!

but all the time trying to keep at least one eye on him because you never know what will happen
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on August 18, 2015, 04:19:43 PM
Energy Australia was unable to read your meter.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on August 20, 2015, 05:46:39 AM
Martok, stay out of South America! Spider glides from the sky, can choose where it lands. (http://www.cnet.com/news/spider-glides-from-the-sky-can-land-on-a-target/#ftag=CAD590a51e)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on August 20, 2015, 11:44:48 AM
Martok, stay out of South America! Spider glides from the sky, can choose where it lands. (http://www.cnet.com/news/spider-glides-from-the-sky-can-land-on-a-target/#ftag=CAD590a51e)

Dammit!  That thing is the size of a kid's hand!!  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on August 20, 2015, 01:25:57 PM
Re Energy Australia: clearly that thing is feeding on the electricity.  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on August 26, 2015, 01:06:14 PM
Well, Martok, the bad news is you just missed the 20th Annual Congress of Arachnology in Golden, Colorado this year.

But the good news is there's plenty of time to sign up for next year!

http://www.americanarachnology.org/about_AAS/bb-items/ISA_AAS_2016.pdf
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 12:39:43 PM
Oh HELL no............


(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-09/8/4/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 16, 2015, 12:40:27 PM
Oh. Shiiiii................
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 16, 2015, 01:45:39 PM
Ha, this happened to me at about 10 years old - ran straight out, trousers round ankles screaming for my dad
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 16, 2015, 02:17:57 PM
Ha, this happened to me at about 10 years old - ran straight out, trousers round ankles screaming for my dad

..shame...and you were 34 at the time........
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 16, 2015, 02:30:01 PM
im not proud
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 16, 2015, 02:43:55 PM
Oh HELL no............


(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-09/8/4/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg)

Your house?

I had one of those just slightly smaller dart across the bathroom floor a couple of weeks ago during my morning constitution.

He knew he was in trouble. I calmly finished my business went to find a shoe (yes, I was barefoot), and then took care of him.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 16, 2015, 05:40:19 PM
Real men kill the little bastards with their bare feet.  Or their stink.  Whichever is more lethal.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 08:07:03 PM
Oh HELL no............


(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-09/8/4/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg)

Your house?


Oh HELL no............the pic was taken in (where else) Australia.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 16, 2015, 08:10:02 PM
Oh HELL no............



Your house?


Oh HELL no............the pic was taken in (where else) Australia.

Oh, then it was someone's pet!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 08:11:18 PM
Oh HELL no............



Your house?


Oh HELL no............the pic was taken in (where else) Australia.

Oh, then it was someone's pet!

Seems likely!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on September 16, 2015, 08:22:29 PM
Wouldn't the proper course of action be to quickly and tightly wind up the roll, settling the multi-legged pookums snugly back into it's fluffy blanket so that the next person to use the facilities could also spend some quality time with little Boris?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on September 16, 2015, 08:24:45 PM
Wouldn't the proper course of action be to quickly and tightly wind up the roll, settling the multi-legged pookums snugly back into it's fluffy blanket so that the next person to use the facilities could also spend some quality time with little Boris?

LMAO!!!!  O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 17, 2015, 05:19:29 AM
Wouldn't the proper course of action be to quickly and tightly wind up the roll, settling the multi-legged pookums snugly back into it's fluffy blanket so that the next person to use the facilities could also spend some quality time with little Boris?

ROFL - Now I have the song, 'Boris the Spider' by 'The Who' going around my head!

creepy-crawley, creepy-crawley, etc.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 17, 2015, 06:46:00 AM
is that so mr smarty pants?

what are you going to wipe your arse on?!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 17, 2015, 07:16:01 AM
is that so mr smarty pants?

what are you going to wipe your arse on?!

Goodbye, socks. I never really liked you anyway.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 17, 2015, 07:39:40 AM
Or that influx of refugees to Europe might slowly start influencing you natives to use your left hand for that purpose. :)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on September 17, 2015, 09:07:26 AM
is that so mr smarty pants?

what are you going to wipe your arse on?!

Goodbye, socks. I never really liked you anyway.

Heh heh....when the Missus goes to wash your things, you're gonna get another skillet upside your head, Bawb.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 17, 2015, 09:25:58 AM
I'll be really cunning, and blame her for losing yet another pair of socks.........

..nah, you're right, Steelie, here comes another 'gloiinngg'
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 17, 2015, 10:03:29 AM
Darn those socks anyway.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 17, 2015, 10:13:26 AM
Was that just a footnote?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 17, 2015, 12:30:09 PM
Dinnae start spinnin' them pun yarns again.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 17, 2015, 01:52:51 PM
Re Energy Australia: clearly that thing is feeding on the electricity.  :o

That, or pure evil.  :o  Bloody hell... 




Well, Martok, the bad news is you just missed the 20th Annual Congress of Arachnology in Golden, Colorado this year.

But the good news is there's plenty of time to sign up for next year!

http://www.americanarachnology.org/about_AAS/bb-items/ISA_AAS_2016.pdf

I believe I already have my annual penis-scraping appointment slotted for that time.  No way to reschedule I'm afraid. 




Oh HELL no............


(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-09/8/4/enhanced/webdr07/enhanced-32484-1441701232-1.jpg)

I will definitely second your "Oh hell no", and add a "Fuck this, I'm outta here!"  Dignity be damned. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 17, 2015, 04:59:51 PM
If that's a Brown Recluse, it needs to die Dexter-style.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 17, 2015, 06:48:09 PM
It is not.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on September 22, 2015, 11:25:29 AM
Sure looks like a recluse / fiddleback, though; I see enough around West Tennessee to recognize them compared to wolf spiders or whatever, even when I can't see the fiddle.

Granted, it's in Australia. But fiddlers can emigrate pretty easily I expect.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 22, 2015, 05:01:01 PM
The leg spread and body type are pretty close, and if I could see the back I would know for sure, but, having seen literally tens of thousands over the last 9 + years, I'm going with no, it's not.  The legs are too fat.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 23, 2015, 04:30:18 AM
..we are talking about spiders here, ain't we?

...just askin'
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 23, 2015, 05:12:56 AM
Oh, you dirty old man.  Of course we are talking about "spiders."
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 23, 2015, 05:15:25 AM
When the word 'spiders' is in double quotes like that, that's GrogHeads code for "fat-bottomed girls that make the rockin' world go 'round."
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 06:58:40 PM
..we are talking about spiders here, ain't we?

...just askin'

I once went to a Jamaican party in Japan and a bunch of the Blapanese sluts were doing the bum-in-the-air, hands-on-the-ground "dance" move while in G-strings.   I recall seeing a lot of spider's legs that evening (and more than a few balloon knots)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on September 23, 2015, 08:19:24 PM
Blapanese?

Uh.. nevermind. I just had a vision of Orlando Jones with faux voiceover.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 10:39:10 PM
This....

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5JKKrZHPukk/UvX-OtbyxMI/AAAAAAAAXJo/N6TAhP1q-8w/s1600/1S237-14.jpg)


(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xou11tGTliI/0.jpg)


(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/1cxZHQo7OkIZZBJG0iRdavPeXWRmv6BWyrdgq3b8tGsOI7UXcsXlYKt7wjV05PMjtsPBka7iU09fYslpDOE-5_2W1gGX2XMPScsMUFrYz1g=w426-h320)

(http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2217/1958/1600/Teriyaki%20boyz.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Silent Disapproval Robot on September 23, 2015, 10:41:12 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on September 24, 2015, 01:07:47 AM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)

Yup, had 6 this week, not massive but big enough and 2 of them have turned round and reared up before the shoe of doom took them out
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 24, 2015, 04:41:53 AM
(http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2217/1958/1600/Teriyaki%20boyz.jpg)



Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 24, 2015, 08:16:09 AM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)

Seven inches across is respectable.

The Irish had St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland. Don't you Brits have an equivalent for huge-ass spiders?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on September 24, 2015, 08:21:32 AM
Isn't Freddie Mercury the patron saint of huge-asses?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 24, 2015, 08:22:49 AM
Isn't Freddie Mercury the patron saint of huge-asses?

Whoop! Der it is. Now get him to work!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on September 26, 2015, 04:38:16 PM
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Quote
Using a lighter to kill the bug, he started a blaze that quickly engulfed the gas pump.

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/GrogHeads/fire3_1443237328228_274818_ver1.jpg)

He somehow escaped serious injury and the gas station's damage was contained to one pump, which was destroyed. The incident was recorded at a Center Line gas station.

Employee Susan Adams kept calm and hit the gas automatic stop button and quickly called the Center Line fire department.

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/GrogHeads/fire6_1443237329907_274820_ver1.jpg)

The man grabbed a nearby extinguisher and put out the flames before firefighters arrived. Later he admitted what he did, saying he spotted a spider on his gas tank and because he's deathly afraid of the critters.

source: http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/local-news/24780872-story
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on September 29, 2015, 10:18:32 AM
That summary left out the most important information: did he get it?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on September 30, 2015, 12:16:05 PM
That summary left out the most important information: did he get it?

Yeah, did he??!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Centurion40 on September 30, 2015, 12:20:54 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)

Seven inches across is respectable.

The Irish had St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland. Don't you Brits have an equivalent for huge-ass spiders?

Sheee-it!  If that monster was in my house, I very well might move!

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/23/12/2CAC41BA00000578-0-image-a-8_1443009052229.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on October 14, 2015, 05:01:21 PM
(http://img.izismile.com/img/img8/20151014/640/daily_picdump_1943_640_29.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 14, 2015, 05:33:07 PM
(http://img.izismile.com/img/img8/20151014/640/daily_picdump_1943_640_29.jpg)

That's overkill.

But that British monster? Shotgun, please.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 15, 2015, 10:02:30 AM
Spiders are learning to work together.

Quote
Merchant said while rare, it is not unheard of that such massive web-works may appear once in a while. For example, he said, in 2007 the media reported about a giant spider web found at Lake Tawakoni State Park, about 35 miles from Rowlett.

“At the time, the discovery of the web was more than creepy – it was a revelation to many arachnologists — spider experts,” he said. “That’s because spiders typically work alone to construct their webs. So finding spiders working together to build a huge web in what was more of a cooperative or ‘communal’ scenario was a real surprise for many experts.”

source: http://today.agrilife.org/2015/08/06/giant-spider-webs-dallas-area/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on October 15, 2015, 06:14:45 PM
I don't have an article to cite, but, in my experience, daddy longlegs will pile up, one upon another, in the fall.  Don't know if it's a mating thing, an end of life thing, or something completely different.  Never seen anything else like it.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 27, 2015, 07:22:35 AM
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/11891214_1090370334308324_8637119342744714663_n.jpg?oh=348ec0d9e74c257a2beec6d4e49b19e9&oe=56C19309)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 27, 2015, 08:44:55 AM
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/11891214_1090370334308324_8637119342744714663_n.jpg?oh=348ec0d9e74c257a2beec6d4e49b19e9&oe=56C19309)

But some do!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on October 27, 2015, 01:12:30 PM
Flying connotes a mechanism for continued, voluntary, locomotion.  Spiders have no such appendage/ability.  Therefore, spiders ride the wind, but do not fly.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on October 27, 2015, 03:26:19 PM
Flying connotes a mechanism for continued, voluntary, locomotion.  Spiders have no such appendage/ability.  Therefore, spiders ride the wind, but do not fly.

(http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/2015/03/spider-man-best-funny.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on November 03, 2015, 04:57:51 PM
Techno Lightsaber Spiders (http://nerdapproved.com/misc-weirdness/techno-lightsaber-spiders/)  Run Martok!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 04, 2015, 02:38:55 PM
And back to your regularly scheduled program of trying to drive Martok round the bend....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3246167/Spiders-big-RATS-invade-Cheshire-town.html)

Yeah, I read that article.  I do not envy geek and Bawb at all.  I'll take my Minnesota mosquitoes any day of the week! 




And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Quote
Using a lighter to kill the bug, he started a blaze that quickly engulfed the gas pump.

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/GrogHeads/fire3_1443237328228_274818_ver1.jpg)

He somehow escaped serious injury and the gas station's damage was contained to one pump, which was destroyed. The incident was recorded at a Center Line gas station.

Employee Susan Adams kept calm and hit the gas automatic stop button and quickly called the Center Line fire department.

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/GrogHeads/fire6_1443237329907_274820_ver1.jpg)

The man grabbed a nearby extinguisher and put out the flames before firefighters arrived. Later he admitted what he did, saying he spotted a spider on his gas tank and because he's deathly afraid of the critters.

source: http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/local-news/24780872-story

Ahahahaha!!  That's great. 

He may be an idiot, but that man is still my hero. 




Techno Lightsaber Spiders (http://nerdapproved.com/misc-weirdness/techno-lightsaber-spiders/)  Run Martok!

Unless it's an adept of the dark side of the Force, we have nothing to fear. 

(Oh wait, never mind, it's a spider.  You're right; run!!!) 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 19, 2015, 10:14:25 AM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/18/this-new-daddy-longlegs-is-named-smeagol-and-its-precious-and-eyeless/?tid=sm_fb

Gollum. Gollum.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on November 19, 2015, 10:18:55 AM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/18/this-new-daddy-longlegs-is-named-smeagol-and-its-precious-and-eyeless/?tid=sm_fb

Gollum. Gollum.

AND they are trying to save it from extinction!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on November 19, 2015, 10:52:54 AM
Fortunately, fire will never go extinct.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 24, 2015, 01:22:27 PM
http://www.wxii12.com/spiders-invade-neighborhood-in-north-memphis/36632974?utm_source=Social&utm_medium=FBPAGE&utm_campaign=WXII%2012%20NEWS&Content%20Type=Video

Half mile long spiderweb in North Memphis. Now you, too, can benefit from SCIENCE! -- let Doctors Someoneandanother use SCIENCE to melt away the fat of your inherited double chin, safely and... wait, that was the commercial. Nothing to do with the spiders, promise.  O:-)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 26, 2015, 02:01:29 PM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/18/this-new-daddy-longlegs-is-named-smeagol-and-its-precious-and-eyeless/?tid=sm_fb

Gollum. Gollum.

AND they are trying to save it from extinction!

Yeah, they've got the wrong idea there.  >:( 




http://www.wxii12.com/spiders-invade-neighborhood-in-north-memphis/36632974?utm_source=Social&utm_medium=FBPAGE&utm_campaign=WXII%2012%20NEWS&Content%20Type=Video

Half mile long spiderweb in North Memphis. Now you, too, can benefit from SCIENCE! -- let Doctors Someoneandanother use SCIENCE to melt away the fat of your inherited double chin, safely and... wait, that was the commercial. Nothing to do with the spiders, promise.  O:-)

Yep, I read about this story a few days ago.  I know it's not a new phenomenon, but the notion of thousands (millions?) of spiders gathering together to build a ginormous web is just f-ing creepy.  :-\ 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on November 26, 2015, 04:06:20 PM
A cautionary tale for our friend.

Quote
A man's noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbors to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.

Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you, you're dead. Die! Die!"

Quote
Below is their transcript of the conversation that followed:

Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?

Male: I don't know what you're talking about, I live alone.

Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.

Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?

Male: It was a spider.

Police: Sorry??

Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!

Police: What about the woman screaming?

Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.

What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.

The police report concluded: "After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left."

source: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/11/26/man-attempt-to-kill-spider-confused-with-domestic-violence-sparks-police-call/?intcmp=hplnws
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on November 26, 2015, 05:21:00 PM
I'd say "Only in the Antipodes" but I just know there will be (and, in fact, may already have been) a similar incident in a certain US State *cough*Florida*cough*.

Interesting that the Aussie incident happened in a suburb named after the maiden name of the author of 'Frankenstein'. I don't know why it's interesting but it is.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 30, 2015, 08:03:27 PM
A cautionary tale for our friend.

Quote
A man's noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbors to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.

Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you, you're dead. Die! Die!"

Quote
Below is their transcript of the conversation that followed:

Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?

Male: I don't know what you're talking about, I live alone.

Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.

Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?

Male: It was a spider.

Police: Sorry??

Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!

Police: What about the woman screaming?

Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.

What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.

The police report concluded: "After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left."

source: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/11/26/man-attempt-to-kill-spider-confused-with-domestic-violence-sparks-police-call/?intcmp=hplnws

Pansy.  A guy with even a shred of dignity and/or masculinity does not kill a spider using "bug spray" (professional exterminators like MetalDog don't count).  Sheesh.  ::) 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Mr. Bigglesworth on November 30, 2015, 09:06:44 PM
A cautionary tale for our friend.

Quote
A man's noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbors to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.

Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling "I'm going to kill you, you're dead. Die! Die!"

Quote
Below is their transcript of the conversation that followed:

Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?

Male: I don't know what you're talking about, I live alone.

Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.

Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?

Male: It was a spider.

Police: Sorry??

Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!

Police: What about the woman screaming?

Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.

What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.

The police report concluded: "After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left."

source: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2015/11/26/man-attempt-to-kill-spider-confused-with-domestic-violence-sparks-police-call/?intcmp=hplnws

Pansy.  A guy with even a shred of dignity and/or masculinity does not kill a spider using "bug spray" (professional exterminators like MetalDog don't count).  Sheesh.  ::)

Yeah, but he is in Aus, where some spiders chase you, jump on your face, then kill you, without antidote.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on November 30, 2015, 10:26:49 PM
Yeah.  They breed some stone cold arachnids Down Under.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on December 19, 2015, 11:01:25 AM
Elf on a Shelf meets their match.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 19, 2015, 02:32:58 PM
I'm torn between shuddering and laughing my fool head off. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Arctic Blast on December 20, 2015, 04:21:55 PM
I'm trying to decide whether an enormous spider or those goddamn Elf on a Shelf things is creepier...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 22, 2015, 05:36:26 AM
I am thankful to have never been visited by Spider Claus. 


(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Funny/Spider%20Claus_zpslljk6f3w.jpg)

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on December 22, 2015, 09:49:01 AM
For the nieces and the Ishy-in-law next year!  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on January 08, 2016, 09:16:11 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2016-01-04-1244.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 08, 2016, 02:43:37 PM
And that's how we know that's not heaven...  :P  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 17, 2016, 03:24:18 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/0a46802fcdff9fa101eba2f19d77c1a6.jpg?quality=94&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 17, 2016, 06:55:06 AM
That looks like a job for a pest control technician.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on January 17, 2016, 09:27:40 AM
Gonna need the 'special applicator' for that job...
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 17, 2016, 10:21:22 AM
Hells yeah!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 18, 2016, 01:33:23 AM
That looks like a job for a pest control technician.

You're welcome to her, buddy.  If there was ever a tattoo (which I'm usually perfectly fine with -- I actually like 'em most of the time) that would guarantee me to not want to be near a woman's lady parts, that would do it.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 24, 2016, 08:23:09 PM
Hey, Big Boy...

Quote
A massive funnel web spider named 'big boy' has been found and turned in to a hospital.

The huge spider, which measured 7.5 centimetres across, was dropped off by a terrified local at the John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle, New South Wales.

The horrifying creature had venom dripping off its deadly fangs when bushwalker stumbled across it.

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/GrogHeads/308B564D00000578-0-image-a-14_14536.jpg)

source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3414915/Huge-funnel-web-spider-Newcastle-taken-Australian-Reptile-Park.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 25, 2016, 03:02:54 AM
A few months ago, I finally learned an important lesson -- one that should've been obvious to me from the start, but letter late than never: 

Do not read this thread before going to bed.  I have fewer nightmares now.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on January 25, 2016, 06:54:39 AM
Meet the spiders that have formed armies 50000 strong (http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160122-meet-the-spiders-that-have-formed-armies-50000-strong)

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 25, 2016, 07:38:12 AM
^  Disturbing, but at least they're far away from me. 



Here's a reminder as to why I should just use a flame-thrower instead of pansy-ass bug-spray: 



Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on January 25, 2016, 01:17:11 PM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2016-01-22-1256.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 26, 2016, 09:07:18 AM
(http://l1.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/kpopSUUNxSdk2W04ttjEew--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztmaT1maWxsO2g9Mzg5O3B5b2ZmPTA7cT03NTt3PTU3NQ--/http://media.zenfs.com/en_US/News/LiveScience.com/cryptomaster-daddylonglegs.jpg1453748613)


http://news.yahoo.com/behemoth-daddy-longlegs-discovered-oregon-143645998.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 26, 2016, 09:11:02 AM
(http://nature.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0907/fuck-you-fuck-you-tree-hate-nature-demotivational-poster-1248979486.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 26, 2016, 10:12:06 AM
.
.
.
.
<checks in pun-log to see when we last did tree puns>
.
.
.
Oops...pun log........
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 26, 2016, 10:14:48 AM
We need to branch out.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 26, 2016, 10:30:41 AM
Best avoid it. Tree puns are shady business.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 26, 2016, 10:53:56 AM
Just leaf the puns to the professionals. Their bark is worse than their bite anyway. The oaks and pains of puns are survivable; willow you just stop whining about them al-reed-y?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 26, 2016, 10:56:37 AM
Wood you guys give it a rest? All this punnery has left me sapped.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 26, 2016, 11:11:30 AM
(https://41.media.tumblr.com/25bab503c7306a14b95ff4c91ce4963d/tumblr_nu424fMVE41qhp91uo1_540.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 26, 2016, 11:16:40 AM
We'll soon be sycamore tree puns.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 26, 2016, 05:34:48 PM
Soon?!  Too late.  :buck2:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 26, 2016, 08:52:22 PM
Poor MD. Should we leave elm alone?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 26, 2016, 08:53:43 PM
I'm rooting for him.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 26, 2016, 08:57:32 PM
This is branching way off topic.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 26, 2016, 09:01:14 PM
We saw it coming, but we didn't cut it out.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Sir Slash on January 26, 2016, 09:30:55 PM
Haven't you guys ever seen a bird in a tree before?  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on January 27, 2016, 06:34:07 AM
I think we're starting to pith him off.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 27, 2016, 02:21:13 PM
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/Giant-Spider-tarantula-1328613692_50_zpsnjlqwi0f.jpg)

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Sir Slash on January 27, 2016, 02:47:21 PM
What breed of horse is that? Clydesdale?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 27, 2016, 02:48:56 PM
Aww, wooden you know it, that Martok was the one to put this thread back on the rails.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 28, 2016, 03:21:21 PM
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/spider_dads_hand_zpsjew7dobt.jpg)

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/spider-giant_nov2-2009-copy1_zpszaepabb0.jpg)

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/huntsman_zps47fniotx.jpg)

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/big-wolf-spider-pictures-6412_zpsac3ucgp1.jpg)

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/wolfspiderjune2011_zps03dvbys2.jpg)

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/img_0974_zpsfhrahdqy.jpg)


Now excuse me while I go vomit. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on January 28, 2016, 03:24:35 PM
OMG. Martok has gone over the edge!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 28, 2016, 05:14:39 PM
Someone has hacked Martok's account!  That's the ONLY way I see that happening!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 29, 2016, 10:23:45 AM
Even pictures of huge demonic spiders are an improvement over what this thread was beginning to turn into.  :buck2:  Extreme measures had to be enacted.   

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 29, 2016, 10:26:51 AM
(http://cache.ensoku.club/images/contents/000002000/000001202/20150501_02a_716_0_0_1432.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 29, 2016, 02:54:27 PM
^  Much better than what I posted!  :D 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Silent Disapproval Robot on January 29, 2016, 03:35:37 PM

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/wolfspiderjune2011_zps03dvbys2.jpg)


I'm more perturbed by the random hairs all over the place than the spidey.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on January 30, 2016, 02:04:59 PM
https://www.facebook.com/KristinSchrotOfficial/videos/873359209425340/?fref=nf
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 30, 2016, 03:54:14 PM
What a douchebag.  I'd have split his head open. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Silent Disapproval Robot on January 30, 2016, 03:57:21 PM
Just hit him with your weave.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 01, 2016, 04:35:28 AM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/12631342_1115598351807001_5451109443759085262_n.jpg?oh=759423bc99dfaf09415e33200ef7eb82&oe=57444213)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 01, 2016, 11:12:25 AM
I gotta admit, I did laugh at that one.  Well done, chief.  :P 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on February 05, 2016, 01:43:58 PM
Martok, any chance you are a Johnny Cash (http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2016/0205/Eight-legged-Johnny-Cash-New-tarantula-species-named-for-singer) fan??  Say hello to Aphonopelma johnnycashi.  He'll be visiting you tonight...in your dreams.  >:D

(http://images.csmonitor.com/csm/2016/02/962819_1_0205-TARANTULA_standard.jpg?alias=standard_600x400)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 06, 2016, 01:47:31 AM
If I ever have a spider species named after me once I'm gone, I'm going to come back to life just to rectify that.  And I'm going to be pissed.  :knuppel2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on February 07, 2016, 06:42:17 PM
If I ever have a spider species named after me once I'm gone, I'm going to come back to life just to rectify that.  And I'm going to be pissed.  :knuppel2:

Especially if you came back as a spider.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: OJsDad on February 07, 2016, 06:43:19 PM
 A Black Widow at that!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on February 07, 2016, 06:46:45 PM
Dating would indeed be a trifle awkward.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 07, 2016, 11:23:57 PM
You're not even guaranteed to get laid before you get eaten.  :( 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on February 09, 2016, 06:07:48 PM
If you have an erection lasting more than 99 million years, you might be a spider...

Quote
That's how long the penis of a newly discovered arachnid fossil has been standing at attention. The harvestman, a spider relative also known as a daddy longlegs, was encased in amber during the Cretaceous in what is now Myanmar. Its distinctive penis, with a heart-shaped tip and a bit of a twist at the end, was erect at the time.

Quote
The new harvestman specimen belongs to an ancient species called Halitherses grimaldii. A private collector sent it to Dunlop and his colleagues. Harvestman fossils are rare — only 38 have ever been found, the researchers wrote in their new paper — but harvestman genitals are even more elusive. This is the first amber specimen visibly preserving the structure of the penis, Dunlop told Live Science in an email.

"These penis details (shape, form of the tip, etc.) are very important for saying where this amber species fits in the harvestman family tree," he said. "In fact, we couldn't find an exact match in terms of penis shape with any living species."

As a result, the researchers propose that the spider belonged to a previously unknown (and now extinct) family of harvestmen. The team is investigating several other new species found in Burmese amber, but none of those are preserved with visible genitals, Dunlop said.

Pictures and much more than you ever thought you wanted to know about the topic can be found through the link below:

source: http://www.livescience.com/53583-daddy-longlegs-fossil-with-erect-penis.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on February 10, 2016, 07:50:47 AM
Note that instead of saying, "Everything about this harvestman is the same as 99 million years later, except for the shape of one part, and even that's mostly the same, so we might consider this simply a minor deformity or maybe even caused by having been trapped in amber," they've decided to propose this is a previously unknown whole species of harvestman as a result of this one evident difference.

And not content with that, they're going to propose that the species is extinct now, when the only difference from extant harvestmen species is something that would be rarely ever even noticed except in dissected specimens.

{smh}
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on February 10, 2016, 07:30:53 PM
Man, don't be hating' on the Taxonomists- they got kids to feed and clothe just like the rest of us. A little make-work never hurt anyone- look at any Highway Department ever.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on February 11, 2016, 04:44:54 AM
I think we are all truly in deep shit!  Spiders are starting to kill snakes!!  And a daddy long legs to boot!

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tiny-spider-takes-deadly-brown-065221730.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 11, 2016, 12:57:49 PM
Quite honestly, I'd be a lot more concerned about un-flushable spiders in the toilet (http://mashable.com/2015/03/04/australia-spider-toilet/#NcJqIz4BrkqM), and live spiders in packaged lettuce (http://mashable.com/2016/02/05/spiders-lettuce-bag-australia/#AlHgpRe_rmq3).  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on February 11, 2016, 01:06:02 PM
Yeah, that toilet spider would be quite the nasty surprise.

Geeze, Martok, what are you going to do now? No place seems safe.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 11, 2016, 02:16:23 PM
Well I do believe I'd already previously stated I would simply never visit Australia, so that's something like 70% of the battle right there. 

For the rest, I may need a second flame-thrower.  You can never be too careful. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on February 11, 2016, 02:29:16 PM
when i went with wife mark II we were sat in a coffee shop pretty close to the entrance in Cairns, all of a sudden the owner shouts 'aw, here he is fellas, heres bruce' i turn around, no one there, and the owner says 'come on in little guy', so i look down - coming through the door is a fking glove with eight legs, biggest ass, stripiest fkng spider ever - owner puts down a saucer of beer and hes straight in

apart from the obvious lynching i would have received for doing so, the temptation to stomp on it was massive, but ive always pondered the fact that the thing would have just turned round, caught my shoe and thrown me backwards through the window
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on February 11, 2016, 02:31:23 PM
when i went with wife mark II we were sat in a coffee shop pretty close to the entrance in Cairns, all of a sudden the owner shouts 'aw, here he is fellas, heres bruce' i turn around, no one there, and the owner says 'come on in little guy', so i look down - coming through the door is a fking glove with eight legs, biggest ass, stripiest fkng spider ever - owner puts down a saucer of beer and hes straight in

apart from the obvious lynching i would have received for doing so, the temptation to stomp on it was massive, but ive always pondered the fact that the thing would have just turned round, caught my shoe and thrown me backwards through the window

Maybe Martok needs to be more like Obama and have a beer summit with some of those poor spidies.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 12, 2016, 01:14:21 PM
They probably would light on fire easier that way... 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on February 13, 2016, 06:06:18 AM
(http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1906476/84924726.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on February 13, 2016, 06:12:00 AM
Martok's parents didn't believe in spanking.

(http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/730195/84924614.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on February 25, 2016, 05:17:34 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/1XsxgVS.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on February 25, 2016, 08:06:52 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/1XsxgVS.jpg)

Good think Martok can't read Braille.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on February 26, 2016, 12:01:55 PM
That photo is the definition of irony. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 01, 2016, 01:28:07 PM
The exoskeleton of the Widow's last mate hanging over there in her tangled web, is a nice touch.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on March 02, 2016, 02:42:35 PM
Good eye, Jason. 

I am so very, very glad that I was not born a male spider. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on March 02, 2016, 05:04:09 PM
If the spider has been there a while that could also be a molted exoskeleton left over from it's youth.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: LongBlade on March 02, 2016, 05:10:36 PM
If the spider has been there a while that could also be a molted exoskeleton left over from it's youth.

Always gotta be an optimist, don't ya?  >:(
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on March 02, 2016, 05:15:08 PM
It just means 'she' is smart enough to dispose of the dead mates' remains so the next live one doesn't get scared off.

It's too late for Star but Mirth should be taking notes.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on March 03, 2016, 06:43:36 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2016-03-03-1283.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 04, 2016, 08:19:01 AM
If the spider has been there a while that could also be a molted exoskeleton left over from it's youth.

I thought that at first, too. But then I realized the abdomen of the exoskeleton was too small for the size of the legs.

Admittedly, it does on closer squint look like an exo-skeleton per se and not like a dessicated spider...  :(
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on March 13, 2016, 05:35:24 PM
This spider likes to fish:


https://www.yahoo.com/tech/fish-eating-spiders-shouldn-t-exist-definitely-shouldn-133055023.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 20, 2016, 09:44:27 AM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 09, 2016, 12:19:49 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xla1/v/t1.0-9/12670673_1786177554937203_6035910928899350187_n.jpg?oh=9aeaff2fe786154d56a5c6d53c1fc6e3&oe=57737852)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 12, 2016, 11:46:35 AM
^  O0 






Nope.  Even I'm not dumb enough to shoot the tank on that one! 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 13, 2016, 10:25:34 PM
https://www.facebook.com/thisisinsider/videos/1535729743401085/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 14, 2016, 06:04:04 AM
That is actually pretty cool. Even if you are not a 'no kill' person that gadget will keep you from having to clean spider guts after whacking 'em.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 14, 2016, 01:48:51 PM
Not the way *I* kill 'em, it wouldn't.  >:D 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on April 27, 2016, 06:11:39 AM
Martoks worst nightmare (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-36136635)...actually any man's worst nightmare  :o ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cpsprodpb/18002/production/_89460389_gettyimages-56714765.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on April 27, 2016, 02:24:32 PM
fuck Australia!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 28, 2016, 09:16:41 AM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13102633_1030920393692085_1604636666836523113_n.jpg?oh=eaef974009beb62f0e15ceca83c4a0ad&oe=57B2A627)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on June 01, 2016, 06:36:51 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2016-06-01-1343.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on June 07, 2016, 07:44:36 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/12642515_10154059878396055_1321974973464916534_n.jpg?oh=fae112bcbf45a97c6732100ebb94f50f&oe=5809E51F)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on June 29, 2016, 10:53:44 AM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on June 30, 2016, 11:54:19 AM
So if your girlfriend has a pet tarantula... is she a keeper? I'm conflicted.  :-\
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on July 08, 2016, 12:56:36 PM


Well I guess that's one way to keep from being felt up... 




So if your girlfriend has a pet tarantula... is she a keeper? I'm conflicted.  :-\

Only if you're an arachnophile.  ::) 
 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on July 25, 2016, 05:03:47 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13775480_1195658603788846_3150981224822854008_n.jpg?oh=976a867d6d747742c4061b16e13e6446&oe=5835C5B6)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on July 25, 2016, 05:14:49 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/483212_453710877983626_1637200644_n.jpg?oh=a929415022258574197036c7c7c9ed50&oe=5824E89C)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on July 28, 2016, 10:24:21 AM
Robot spiders

https://www.yahoo.com/tech/lockheed-martin-spider-robot-searches-182058898.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on July 28, 2016, 10:26:41 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/sQaeat1.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 28, 2016, 11:13:11 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/sQaeat1.jpg)

Interesting...but I see nothing spider-related.  ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on July 28, 2016, 11:18:35 AM
Oops, that was supposed to go in the Pics for a Laugh thread.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on August 22, 2016, 06:05:05 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2016-08-22-1388.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on October 14, 2016, 02:40:20 PM
psst, hey Martok, those spiders can hear you (http://www.businessinsider.com/turns-out-spiders-can-hear-you-from-across-the-room-2016-10?r=UK&IR=T)!

(http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/580127a78d83b4a6018b4640-2118/ap_16246055722696.jpg)
(can't have a Martok/spider post without a spider pic)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 15, 2016, 09:53:55 AM
It's a good thing I only plot against them in my own mind then.  :knuppel2: 


(Unless they're also telepathic.  Then I'm kinda screwed... :o ) 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 17, 2016, 07:04:51 AM
According to Marvel Comics, spiders are in fact telepathic and come with phased-radar. They are not, however, capable of spinning their own webs.  :))
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on October 19, 2016, 04:38:16 PM
Be Hearty!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 20, 2016, 01:05:45 PM
<snort>  Heh. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 24, 2016, 02:06:37 PM
yes, that's a spider dragging a mouse

(https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f276a385776f2ea9b2e9d59fce29cca42e96d99b/30_0_900_540/master/900.jpg?w=620&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=2b45f19a12b0e78bb21eb784ccf87a5d)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 24, 2016, 03:42:19 PM
One of the very few times I'll feel sorry for a mouse...  :buck2: 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 24, 2016, 05:16:50 PM
We mammals all have to stand together against The Other.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 25, 2016, 10:04:08 AM
ummm.... the shape of the rodent looks more like a rat!




....this was not more comforting, was it?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on October 25, 2016, 11:31:42 AM
My weapon of choice used to be the beano annual, hard back - it was the thors hammer of the arachnid world

I'm not sure it's awesome power would help much here
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 25, 2016, 01:38:57 PM
We mammals all have to stand together against The Other.

Indeed!  Well said, Staggerwing.  O0 




ummm.... the shape of the rodent looks more like a rat!




....this was not more comforting, was it?

I've always found it a little easier to sympathize with a mouse than a rat, so...maybe? 

Still not rooting for the spider, though.  :knuppel2: 




My weapon of choice used to be the beano annual, hard back - it was the thors hammer of the arachnid world

I'm not sure it's awesome power would help much here

(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Other/flamethrower_zpsjpvud2ab.jpg)

Accept no substitutes. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 28, 2016, 12:33:19 PM
^^ "Hey Bob, the spider's behind you! Ha ha haAAAAAAHHHH AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" -- Fred's last words.

(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14718660_1529248650435567_4844339696095694726_n.jpg?oh=b948c37f5c4417adfa5f9a2a7e79abf9&oe=58A6B505)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 29, 2016, 01:21:53 AM
When it comes to eight-legged horrors inhabiting the deepest crevices of my nightmares, you're damn right I'm thinking of only myself.  :knuppel2: 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on November 04, 2016, 07:24:59 AM
Naturally, from Australia: Gigantic spider nicknamed 'Charlotte' (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/11/04/gigantic-spider-nicknamed-charlotte-australia-huntsmen-spider-huge/93280386/?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzRss&utm_campaign=usatodaycomnation-topstories)

(http://www.aarcentral.com/pics/spider1.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on November 04, 2016, 08:25:54 AM
Spiders are not meant to have faces, more accurately, they should not be big enough for me to see a face!

The plus side to this is I can see there look of horror as an encyclopaedia bears down on them
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 04, 2016, 10:03:23 AM
...so, what is the artsy butterfly for? Near the ginormous spider pet?  :-X
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 04, 2016, 11:23:32 AM
Naturally, from Australia: Gigantic spider nicknamed 'Charlotte' (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/11/04/gigantic-spider-nicknamed-charlotte-australia-huntsmen-spider-huge/93280386/?utm_source=feedblitz&utm_medium=FeedBlitzRss&utm_campaign=usatodaycomnation-topstories)

(http://www.aarcentral.com/pics/spider1.jpg)

F***ing hell!!!  Why was it "rescued"??!  That thing's on the verge of achieving sentience!  They should've killed the bloody thing while they had a chance, not release it back into the wild!  Now it's too late!! 




Spiders are not meant to have faces, more accurately, they should not be big enough for me to see a face!

The plus side to this is I can see there look of horror as an encyclopaedia bears down on them

Well said, geek.  I couldn't agree more! 




...so, what is the artsy butterfly for? Near the ginormous spider pet?  :-X

I was a little befuddled by that as well.  ??? 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Arctic Blast on November 05, 2016, 11:17:22 PM
Spiders should not require firearms to kill them!  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on November 06, 2016, 06:24:59 AM
Who you gonna call?
Spider Busters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9H50tHiHjs
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 07, 2016, 04:59:08 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/11403119_1426443287684308_4769254689349497532_n.jpg?oh=ce48db95199fb6f9d2069b9771d758c4&oe=58939563)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 07, 2016, 05:24:53 PM
Pretttty sure that's a widow, yep!  :P
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on November 07, 2016, 06:36:36 PM
I second that.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on November 07, 2016, 06:51:39 PM
Some guy pulls that alarm without looking, there's definitely going to be a widow somewhere.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 08, 2016, 02:46:02 AM
Let the fucker burn!! 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on November 16, 2016, 04:54:21 PM
Martok, is it time to re-decorate (http://nerdapproved.com/household/spider-furniture/#more-163689)?  ^-^
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 17, 2016, 10:50:04 AM
Some people have too much time on their hands.  :buck2: 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 21, 2016, 03:58:47 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15073297_1613374848966305_5235789911006549625_n.png?oh=bcd6d71d5f60f2b727328c3084b2303e&oe=58C52382)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 22, 2016, 12:43:13 PM
^  That's *almost* more cool than creepy.  Almost.  :P 


I feel compelled to quote my previous post: 

Some people have too much time on their hands. 


Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on November 26, 2016, 02:18:54 PM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 26, 2016, 03:10:31 PM
Okay, that was pretty funny.  ;D 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on December 23, 2016, 09:24:53 AM
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reindeer.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on December 23, 2016, 12:25:10 PM
I want that for my nieces. Internet, make it happen! (Next year.)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 24, 2016, 08:11:45 PM
(https://img0.etsystatic.com/008/0/5728230/il_340x270.404219828_onk0.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 27, 2016, 01:27:37 PM
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reindeer.png)

Yeah, I read that one too.  Freaked me out, it did. 



(https://img0.etsystatic.com/008/0/5728230/il_340x270.404219828_onk0.jpg)

That is both clever and really mean! 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 03, 2017, 07:42:26 PM
(https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15823369_1587451331272552_2434274923889843691_n.jpg?oh=110bb9707ee3dcd20f7f76402a8ddbea&oe=591FD072)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on January 03, 2017, 08:58:30 PM
You're a mean man, Starfury.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on January 03, 2017, 10:56:22 PM
Danke  O:-)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on January 04, 2017, 12:40:52 PM
Natural selection is a cruel, spider-drow mistress.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 06, 2017, 06:25:18 PM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on January 10, 2017, 06:57:54 PM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/comedians-exercising-their-funny-bones-25-photos-25.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 22, 2017, 02:46:44 PM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15977190_1810820662490989_7229301992647519928_n.jpg?oh=eaf95f6b1043d96cebaa4eb70d0f7de1&oe=590E9E69)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 26, 2017, 08:21:28 AM
^  LOL.  I can't imagine trying to walk in those... 




(https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15823369_1587451331272552_2434274923889843691_n.jpg?oh=110bb9707ee3dcd20f7f76402a8ddbea&oe=591FD072)

Don't care, I'm still gonna kill the ones I can get at -- even if they're the dumb ones.  :knuppel2: 






Well there goes my appetite.  :-\ 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on January 26, 2017, 11:03:50 AM
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15977190_1810820662490989_7229301992647519928_n.jpg?oh=eaf95f6b1043d96cebaa4eb70d0f7de1&oe=590E9E69)

I would give those to my brother for Father's Day so fast the air would scorch.  O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on February 16, 2017, 07:42:18 AM
http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ftw/2017/02/15/this-video-of-a-deadly-spider-killing-a-deadly-snake-will-haunt-you-for-weeks/97970714/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: undercovergeek on February 16, 2017, 07:44:56 AM
Bring me the flamethrower!!!!!!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on February 21, 2017, 12:34:30 PM
True story: my sister-in-law worked as logistics VP (eventually 2nd in command) at a clothing factory before it closed up shop and moved to Mexico or somewhere. Naturally there were a bunch of warehouses nearby, in that town and others (like the county seat). She had to go out to the warehouses on a regular basis for various logistic-duty reasons.

She and the other workers very much did not like going there in the winter, though.

Because lots of snakes, especially cottonmouth water moccasins, loved to get into the hanging stock and hibernate.

This factory was a major supplier for retail chains all across the US. She knows for a FACT a significant number of those snakes got shipped from the warehouses to the retailers.

Think about that next time you go shopping for clothes: they're now being made more cheaply in other areas of the world, than in viper-infested warehouses.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on April 12, 2017, 12:10:33 PM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/asvqnwcz6bva6sv91aek530ksq5goda_ikeipig62vo.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 12, 2017, 01:11:36 PM
OH GOD THEY'RE HERE
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 20, 2017, 04:54:56 PM
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18034108_1514243105305629_6821291438500382309_n.png?oh=80c606a223832f2a3559f390142b1fe0&oe=599073A8)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on April 26, 2017, 04:14:43 AM
Hahahahaha!!!  Brilliant! 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on May 20, 2017, 07:40:19 AM
The Hercules beetle.

https://www.facebook.com/LADbible/videos/3213400712040430/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on May 25, 2017, 06:14:01 AM
http://nbc4i.com/2016/10/24/man-captures-terrifying-footage-of-massive-spider-carrying-mouse-up-a-fridge/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on May 25, 2017, 02:06:12 PM
Not gonna shoot THAT tank.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on May 25, 2017, 05:13:17 PM
I can't imagine not being terrified, walking into my kitchen and seeing that spider carrying a mouse up my fridge.  But, from the vantage point I enjoy watching it on video, that was kinda cool.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on May 25, 2017, 05:15:21 PM
From just reading the link I knew it would be in Australia.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Windigo on May 29, 2017, 03:23:59 PM
Looks like a mole cricket.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_cricket (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_cricket)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on June 01, 2017, 11:18:35 AM
https://nypost.com/2017/06/01/it-needs-a-leash-mom-finds-giant-spider-in-sons-bedroom/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Pete Dero on June 10, 2017, 06:07:43 AM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on June 14, 2017, 07:47:26 AM
That snapshot for the video should be an album covERRRMAGUHD, HER EAR, NEVER EVEN MIND THE SPIDER, WHAT CREATURE IS THIS?!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on August 03, 2017, 01:09:44 PM
So this happened in Ottawa last weekend....  :o

(https://postmediaottawacitizen2.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/0730-la-machine-14-jpg.jpg)

(http://storage.ottawasun.com/v1/dynamic_resize/sws_path/suns-prod-images/1297978406459_ORIGINAL.jpg?quality=80&size=650x)

(https://i.cbc.ca/1.3610910.1464805117!/fileImage/httpImage/image.JPG_gen/derivatives/16x9_1180/la-machine-s-industrial-dragon-and-spider.JPG)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 03, 2017, 11:05:50 PM
...The heck??  :o 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on August 04, 2017, 03:52:04 AM
La Machine. Two mythical creatures battled it out in our streets for 4 days.

The spider, Kimora, stole the dragon-horse's, Long-Ma, wings and the battle for control ensued.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 04, 2017, 01:14:05 PM
Heh.  Well that's different. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on August 04, 2017, 01:15:56 PM
La Machine. Two mythical creatures battled it out in our streets for 4 days.

The spider, Kimora, stole the dragon-horse's, Long-Ma, wings and the battle for control ensued.



Does it have Bryan Cranston?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 04, 2017, 02:47:29 PM
That mechanical spider looks like some Wil Smith Wild Wild West crap.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on August 04, 2017, 02:48:38 PM
FU. It was awesome.  :bd:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 04, 2017, 02:49:00 PM
I suppose the more beer you have the more awesomerest it becomes?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 04, 2017, 11:44:19 PM
That's been my experience with most things.  :D 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: airboy on August 05, 2017, 12:20:52 AM
I hate this thread.  I'm horribly allergic to venom.  I spent a day in bed with my arm elevated above my heart slamming antihistamines to get over one spider bite.

The rest of you would have had more of a reaction to a mosquito bite.

Just one bite.  I get three and it's steroids and pain meds.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 05, 2017, 09:57:51 AM
That sucks, airboy. Sorry you have to go through that crap.

I had a brown recluse bite about four or five years ago...it was a miserable experience, so I can relate to an extent.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: airboy on August 05, 2017, 11:13:51 AM
That sucks, airboy. Sorry you have to go through that crap.

I had a brown recluse bite about four or five years ago...it was a miserable experience, so I can relate to an extent.

This was an ordinary spider.  If it bites someone who is not "special" like me, the bitten individual never notices it.  Brown recluse or black widow bite would probably mean the hospital for me.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 05, 2017, 02:12:40 PM
Time to burn Arizona to the ground

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 06, 2017, 12:00:28 AM
Camel spiders in the American Southwest?!  WTF??!!  :o  I thought they were only found in the Middle East!  Dammit... 




I hate this thread.  I'm horribly allergic to venom.  I spent a day in bed with my arm elevated above my heart slamming antihistamines to get over one spider bite.

The rest of you would have had more of a reaction to a mosquito bite.

Just one bite.  I get three and it's steroids and pain meds.

Sonofabitch, airboy!  :buck2:  I'm sorry to hear that, man. 

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on August 06, 2017, 04:25:13 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/d13145fd94a160c06b4397402bbb6f41.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 06, 2017, 09:05:37 AM
Hahahahaha!!  Yeah, that's about right. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on August 09, 2017, 10:25:56 AM
FU. It was awesome.  :bd:

The dragon's head looks modeled on King Ghidora, too!

Also, the mechanical spider in WWW was the one thing everyone agreed was awesome about that movie. I loved that thing. Wish it had been in a better movie.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on August 14, 2017, 08:52:21 PM
12 spiders currently visiting the forum.

Just a friendly note.  O:-)









...those are the ones the forum can see...  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on August 14, 2017, 09:23:00 PM
No worries.  GrogHeads has pest control ;)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on August 14, 2017, 10:50:33 PM
^  Thank goodness for that.  :) 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on September 01, 2017, 06:02:39 AM
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/nanotech-super-spiderwebs-are-here-20170822-gy1blp.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 01, 2017, 06:36:22 AM
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/nanotech-super-spiderwebs-are-here-20170822-gy1blp.html

I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us. Kingdom of the mudderfuggin' Spiders, man.

(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XInL9rAkFuI/V_6hHjp86RI/AAAAAAAAJQg/0N4fiQVaEDkH_Y34qVAuL8QAp2eRaLAyQCLcB/s1600/1508230041450112.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on September 01, 2017, 06:49:17 AM
....
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us. Kingdom of the mudderfuggin' Spiders, man.

Cause it's there and it's fun to do.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: trailrunner on September 01, 2017, 06:59:55 AM
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us.

Because making life better is boring, and doesn't pay well.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on September 01, 2017, 07:01:02 AM
I don't get why scientists find the excessive need to come up with things that can kill us.

Because making life better is boring, and doesn't pay well.

 O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 25, 2017, 08:32:20 AM
Because making life better is boring, and doesn't pay well.

Barth is an engineer. No telling what proton-enhanced arachnids he and his little mad scientist cabal are working on up there in the Great White North.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on September 25, 2017, 12:52:17 PM
Barth is an engineer? Is that why he hates rounded corners? Does he hate Roman arches, too?   :P
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on September 25, 2017, 01:06:43 PM
Why would I hate Roman arches? They are great examples of engineering.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 25, 2017, 01:07:16 PM
I called him a physicist once and he took great umbrage (he apologized to me for my misunderstanding ;D ).

I think he collides things into other things, hoping for something to create a crack in the universe that will bring the mist and the spider-like creatures that will eat all of us.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on September 25, 2017, 01:17:25 PM
I think he collides things into other things, hoping for something to create a crack in the universe that will bring the mist and the spider-like creatures that will eat all of us.

I hope for the same outcome.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on September 25, 2017, 02:52:15 PM
Why would I hate Roman arches? They are great examples of engineering.

So are rounded corners!  ;)

Hey, while I have you on the phone, do you happen to remember what we were playing on Vassal a few years ago? We probably played something because I notice that I have you in my Skype contacts. I don't know why else you'd be there.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on September 25, 2017, 04:26:05 PM
Why would I hate Roman arches? They are great examples of engineering.

So are rounded corners!  ;)

Hey, while I have you on the phone, do you happen to remember what we were playing on Vassal a few years ago? We probably played something because I notice that I have you in my Skype contacts. I don't know why else you'd be there.

We had a go at AH's War at Sea.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on September 25, 2017, 07:29:18 PM
Definitely not that. Hmmm, the mystery deepens.  ???
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on September 25, 2017, 07:34:44 PM
Definitely not that. Hmmm, the mystery deepens.  ???

Hmmmm.... maybe Lock n Load?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Ubercat on September 25, 2017, 08:23:31 PM
That could well be it.

I just auctioned off my entire WW2 LnL collection at WBC and got a song for it.  :(  I decided that it wasn't my tactical squad level game of choice. So far, ASLSK comes closest to filling that niche. Operational scale seems to be my true love, though, and I've been focusing on OCS lately.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on October 08, 2017, 09:37:28 AM
Is this debt worth it?

Twenty years in the future, an old, grizzled postman knocks on the door.  "It is time for some respect."
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on October 17, 2017, 09:18:57 AM
(https://scontent.fyyz1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22540014_1297814143737389_8142693659597721508_n.jpg?oh=032e6db32e8ebb77799d8377b776f101&oe=5A87FE09)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on October 17, 2017, 09:44:49 AM
^I'm not Martok but please tell me that is Photoshopped!  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 17, 2017, 10:12:10 AM
That spider's looking at her like, "uh-uh, bitch. You can TRY."
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Sir Slash on October 17, 2017, 10:20:58 AM
Where the hell is Samwise when SHE needs him?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 17, 2017, 05:24:50 PM
I humbly suggest replacing the plastic bowl with this:


(http://www.strangemilitary.com/images/content/126113.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on October 18, 2017, 02:04:13 PM
Will one be enough?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 18, 2017, 03:04:47 PM
No such thing as enough dakka. But an admirable attempt.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on November 02, 2017, 05:54:08 AM
Those Belgian brewers must have a thing against Martok.

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/lambic-beer-spiders-brussels-belgium-breweries?utm_source=Atlas+Obscura+Daily+Newsletter&utm_campaign=d02b072564-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_11_02&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f36db9c480-d02b072564-62974501&ct=t%28%29&mc_cid=d02b072564&mc_eid=f1e132f43a
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on November 03, 2017, 06:06:48 AM
(http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2017-11-02-1633.png)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on December 18, 2017, 09:28:59 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/tumblr_os33989rue1qzfsnio1_500.gif?w=480)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on December 18, 2017, 09:29:37 AM
How cute!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 18, 2017, 12:11:05 PM
How cute!

I have to admit, it almost is. 

Almost. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 22, 2017, 04:31:29 PM
Screw that. Squish it with vengeance!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on December 22, 2017, 05:45:02 PM
But just look into those sad little eyes- all eight of them.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 23, 2017, 10:50:35 AM
Allow me to drag this thread back to the appropriately horrifying: 


(https://i.imgur.com/aZR28cY.jpg)

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on December 23, 2017, 10:54:16 AM
Australia?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on December 23, 2017, 11:16:58 AM
There's a spider here in the south that carries its live young on its back.  The spider is a good size as an adult, maybe two inches long.  It's a bit disconcerting to catch a glimpse of it near you, babies tightly packed.  It's even worse when you realize after you stepped on it, it was almost quick enough to get away.  And the babies you thought safely smushed are running furiously out from beneath your boot.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on December 23, 2017, 12:38:23 PM
... running furiously out from beneath your boot.

Or worse, up your boot.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on December 23, 2017, 11:08:26 PM
Australia?

I believe so, yes.  But then, sheer Law of Averages would favor it being from there in any case.  :P 




... running furiously out from beneath your boot.

Or worse, up your boot.

This would definitely be my bigger concern. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on January 02, 2018, 02:07:17 PM
My favorite part of that photo is "Scroll".

For the extra bleep-no reaction it adds, thanks to its new context.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on January 02, 2018, 02:08:24 PM
Although come to think of it, the "energy" feeding the egg sack with little energy lines might be funnier. I hadn't looked that closely the first time. For some reason.  :hide:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on January 11, 2018, 05:16:57 AM
Great news.
Seven new varieties of spider found, and the researchers are into fantasy!

https://phys.org/news/2018-01-spider-species-brazil-famous-fictional.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on January 16, 2018, 12:07:04 AM
Ugh.  At least the Tolkien names were appropriate. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: airboy on January 16, 2018, 11:04:26 AM
Great news.
Seven new varieties of spider found, and the researchers are into fantasy!

https://phys.org/news/2018-01-spider-species-brazil-famous-fictional.html

That was neat!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on February 10, 2018, 07:16:13 AM
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/05/science/spider-tail-amber.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 02, 2018, 04:42:53 AM
(I don't remember if this has been posted before or not)

(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/28166816_1863611053702164_1252798041558652168_n.png?oh=65d033fa8cf2527bc640dddfdeb75107&oe=5B10B2F4)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on March 06, 2018, 10:54:58 AM
https://www.nytimes.com/video/science/100000005768876/pelican-spiders-ancient-assassins-that-eat-their-own-kind.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 06, 2018, 11:13:33 AM
(https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/75203347/just-nuke-and-pave-boys-nuke-and-pave.jpg)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on March 06, 2018, 06:12:21 PM
Those are some awesome looking spiders!  Creepy as hell, but, awesome.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bbmike on March 13, 2018, 06:51:19 AM
Massive, 6-inch hairy spider saved from mind-blowing Australian flood (http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/03/13/massive-6-inch-hairy-spider-saved-from-mind-blowing-australian-flood.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fscitech+%28Internal+-+SciTech+-+Mixed%29)

(http://a57.foxnews.com/images.foxnews.com/content/fox-news/science/2018/03/13/massive-6-inch-hairy-spider-saved-from-mind-blowing-australian-flood/_jcr_content/par/featured_image/media-0.img.jpg/931/524/1520943618800.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 13, 2018, 02:26:08 PM
Aww, isn't that sweet, I just wanna pet it with my paddlAAAH AAAAHHHH IT'S CLIMBING THE PADDLE AT ME AAAAAHHHHHHH!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on March 13, 2018, 02:47:42 PM
^ROFL  ;D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on March 30, 2018, 09:25:40 AM
Something for Martok to look forward to in the near future..


Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on March 30, 2018, 07:38:33 PM
Oh it's so cute with its little... knife legs...

 :timeout:
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on March 31, 2018, 08:58:28 AM
Looks like something Specter would use to assasinate James Bond in bed.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: airboy on April 03, 2018, 01:25:56 PM
Zombie Raccoons attack in Ohio:

http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2018/04/03/zombie-raccoons-disease-virus/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on April 05, 2018, 09:32:53 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/daily-afternoon-randomness-49-photos-2534.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=641)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 05, 2018, 10:36:43 AM
My question is, what did it eat while in there, to grow big enough to be unable to get out?  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 05, 2018, 10:37:33 AM
"Try killing me with fire, now, Martok! Ha! Ah-hahahahahaaaa!"
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on April 08, 2018, 09:47:23 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/weekend-morning-awesomeness-37-photos-13.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 13, 2018, 07:14:15 AM
http://myfox8.com/2018/04/12/nope-north-carolina-restaurant-serving-up-tarantula-burger/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on April 13, 2018, 04:22:47 PM
http://myfox8.com/2018/04/12/nope-north-carolina-restaurant-serving-up-tarantula-burger/

I can't post enough barf emojis.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Barthheart on April 25, 2018, 11:18:45 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/daily-afternoon-randomness-49-photos-25289.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=641)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on April 25, 2018, 05:28:06 PM
^Guided ordnance magnets
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: BanzaiCat on April 27, 2018, 01:41:02 PM
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on April 27, 2018, 04:34:14 PM
Farewell, No. 16...worlds oldest spider (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2018/04/27/farewell-no-16-scientists-left-miserable-worlds-oldest-spider/)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on June 06, 2018, 05:39:06 PM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2018/06/f026599c057bd7259125c1bf09bf111c_width-600wtmk.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on June 06, 2018, 07:47:08 PM
That there Thor, he helps out where ever he can.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on June 17, 2018, 06:52:26 PM
Known as the wrap-around spider, this spider can flatten and wrap its body around tree limbs as camouflage.

Look for it in Australia.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on June 18, 2018, 09:24:25 AM
Look for it...



...just try.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on June 18, 2018, 02:39:09 PM
Fuck Australia
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: mirth on June 18, 2018, 02:44:18 PM
Fuck Australia

and all the goats there in
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bobarossa on June 19, 2018, 01:31:46 PM
Fuck Australia

and all the goats there in
Are the goats poisonous too?!?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on June 21, 2018, 06:35:27 AM
No, but they're 30 feet long, armored, can swim in the ocean excellently, and have sharp teeth six inches long.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on August 18, 2018, 01:57:21 PM
Going old school.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on August 18, 2018, 03:18:58 PM
ROFL  ;D O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on August 31, 2018, 08:23:30 PM
Seven new Tarantula species.  Fuzzy but Tarantulas.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/tarantulas-spiders-new-species-high-elevation-news/
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 02, 2018, 06:29:47 AM
(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40483854_2030912686997914_3318032428534071296_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&oh=75b392868c61c0f9bed5586b0e7442dc&oe=5C294D48)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on September 02, 2018, 10:17:41 AM
Not a spider.  Not enough legs.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on September 02, 2018, 10:37:53 AM
I thought it was a couple shy. We have lots of harvest spiders in the garden at present, maybe due to the fact that the farmer has just taken in the harvest.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on September 04, 2018, 10:55:15 AM
Not a spider.  Not enough legs.

That might be intentional as part of the visual joke: it's a "bug" not a spider. (Or perhaps a "Bug" not a "Spyder".)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Labbug on September 04, 2018, 02:46:13 PM
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2018/09/04/doctor-finds-spider-spinning-webs-in-patients-ear.html
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 15, 2018, 02:20:57 PM
This might have been shown earlier upthread, but I didn't see it.

(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/44023114_2091865647771835_3015108578420719616_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&oh=665523567a0fbe71e58252af5b9a7902&oe=5C5494F2)


....I didn't see it...  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: MetalDog on October 15, 2018, 07:53:47 PM
It was.  And I hope that pic was taken from outside your bedroom window.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 15, 2018, 08:16:56 PM
... ah, yes, and confirmed from Australia. This led to my joke about the goats there being salt-water crocodiles.

In my defense, I just didn't see it.  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on October 24, 2018, 02:33:15 PM
Please don't use a blowtorch to kill spiders (https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-man-using-blowtorch-to-kill-spiders-starts-house-fire)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 26, 2018, 10:17:27 AM
Please don't use a blowtorch to kill spiders (https://www.foxnews.com/us/california-man-using-blowtorch-to-kill-spiders-starts-house-fire)

I saw that, too, and immediately thought of this thread. WHOEVER READ THIS THREAD, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!! #:-)

(...except for not moving to Australia.  :peace: )
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on October 27, 2018, 08:56:15 AM
Words of wisdom for Martok.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on October 28, 2018, 03:12:10 PM
Best avoid episode 4 of Dr Who, Martok. No kidding!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 28, 2018, 03:17:45 PM
Spoilers!
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on October 28, 2018, 03:29:22 PM
Just don't want him to get traumatised is all :-)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on October 28, 2018, 05:17:47 PM
......   this is 57 pages of fuck his trauma.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bob48 on October 28, 2018, 05:48:41 PM
I knew we could count on you for a sympathetic approach. ::)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 28, 2018, 08:01:14 PM
Spoilers!

...Professor Song returns?  :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on October 29, 2018, 04:39:14 AM
Spoilers!

...Professor Song returns?  :o

That could get kinky
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on October 30, 2018, 05:22:47 AM
The Air Jordans sure didn't help.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on November 02, 2018, 11:00:06 PM
Forget about the moat Martok because they can swim (https://video.foxnews.com/v/5856843982001/?#sp=show-clips)! :o
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Steelgrave on November 03, 2018, 08:58:02 AM
^Gotta light that moat on fire then, bro!   O0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 07, 2018, 06:28:54 AM
But then what will happen to Spider-puppy??

(https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/45556271_1063971923782364_4249995256084299776_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=503df2e8100ce59ca8d1a4ef17de998f&oe=5C703980)
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on November 28, 2018, 09:58:25 AM
I shared this horror yesterday over at the alternate forum...




My prevailing theory is that I binged most of "The Key of Awesome" over the past couple of weeks, and now Youtube thinks I want to see non-satirical examples of the same thing.  :buck2:

But when I saw the thumbnail, I instantly thought of the Martok spiderthread(s), so...!  >:D
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on January 01, 2019, 09:55:23 AM
I forget.  How do we feel about...

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLeakClub/videos/288427625350490/?t=12
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bobarossa on January 01, 2019, 05:22:17 PM
Part of me wants to make fun of guys who use a fork lift to look under their cabin.  Given what's under there, that's preferable to a 10 foot pole. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on January 25, 2019, 05:02:24 AM
Australia's Peacock spider dances.

https://www.facebook.com/DailyMailAust/videos/595481204210441/?t=10
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on February 11, 2019, 11:48:46 AM
La di da di da, nothing to panic about here...



...one millllion subscribers.

3.2 mill views on this one.

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: steve58 on March 08, 2019, 08:40:54 AM
Some new friends for Martok  >:D

(http://a57.foxnews.com/static.foxnews.com/foxnews.com/content/uploads/2019/03/1862/1048/New-Spiders-2.jpg?ve=1&tl=1)

https://www.foxnews.com/science/terrifying-new-spiders-discovered-in-australia
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: bobarossa on March 08, 2019, 08:48:05 AM
So does the one on the right spit fire or something?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on March 08, 2019, 05:45:12 PM
The one on the left looks like Strong-bad.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on April 16, 2019, 05:13:18 AM
https://www.ranker.com/list/there-are-billions-of-spiders-and-they-could-eat-us-all-in-one-year/katejacobson

Pretty grim future developing.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on April 16, 2019, 12:11:17 PM
How many of those do we eat in our sleep every year....?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 09, 2019, 01:52:47 PM
La di da di da, nothing to panic about here...



...one millllion subscribers.

3.2 mill views on this one.



Ironically, I'm subscribed to this guy's channel.  It's bizarrely fascinating to watch. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on September 13, 2019, 02:59:07 PM
Thomas, the tank engine, has sure evolved.

https://www.facebook.com/1pcreeper/videos/2403855836563652/?t=4
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Staggerwing on September 13, 2019, 04:57:38 PM
Where're Kurt Russell and his flamethrower when you really need 'em?
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: airboy on September 23, 2019, 06:45:14 PM
A garden spider built a web suspended over the width of my driveway - about 10 feet across.  The web is over 6 feet high.  I can walk under it without ducking.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 23, 2019, 09:15:54 PM
I commend your courage, airboy.  There is absolutely no way I could ever walk under that thing.  :buck2: 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Windigo on September 26, 2019, 10:41:23 AM
I commend your courage, airboy.  There is absolutely no way I could ever walk under that thing.  :buck2:

As long as you can see it you're good Martok.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 26, 2019, 12:38:48 PM
I would cut down all the trees along my driveway first. 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on September 27, 2019, 02:05:37 PM
zefrank cracks me up every time.  I still imagine Morgan Freeman narrating his videos.  ;D 





Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on September 29, 2019, 11:03:53 AM
The Ogre Spider looks into your nightmares.




And screams.








At you.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: JasonPratt on October 29, 2019, 07:23:35 AM
Breaking! -- cute girl reviews spiders on Amazon.  :coolsmiley:

Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on October 30, 2019, 12:24:38 AM
That's definitely the most random/disturbing thing I've come across the last week.  Thanks(?), Jason.  :P 
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 01, 2019, 11:30:41 PM
surprise scale that it was JP..... 0
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: besilarius on November 13, 2019, 05:52:12 AM
Grogs would probably be good friends by whacking the spider with a baseball bat, while it was still on Martok's head.
Title: Re: Psst...Hey, Martok!
Post by: Martok on November 13, 2019, 12:21:59 PM
You would all be welcome to wail away.  (It's not like you can do more damage there anyway.)  :P