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IRL (In Real Life) => Sports => Topic started by: Arctic Blast on March 25, 2013, 11:22:02 AM

Title: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on March 25, 2013, 11:22:02 AM
This needs it's own thread. Mainly because I can't remember where the Hell the other one is.  ;D

Anyway, they're back with their thoughts about free agency. Is the relationship between Tom Brady and Wes Welker fractured forever? Is Joe Flacco elite? Does Matt Ryan take things too far in an insult war with Drew Brees? What horrible thing will Sam Bradford come up with this time? And what exactly has Michael Vick been up to?

Find out! http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-free-agency-edition/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on March 25, 2013, 11:32:41 AM
God, I love those......I lmao from start to finish.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: TheCommandTent on March 25, 2013, 06:32:09 PM
Absolutely hilarious.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on March 26, 2013, 02:12:48 AM
LOL.  God, I can't get enough of these! 


AP:  "I'm so, so alone."  <snirk> 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 26, 2013, 04:45:59 AM
I just love Aaron Rodgers' obsession w/ Russell Wilson.

I don't get the Sam Bradford stuff, though.  That's the one part of this that's just not funny
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: undercovergeek on March 26, 2013, 05:02:30 AM
dont know the teams or the players but thats funny
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on March 26, 2013, 11:36:10 AM
I just love Aaron Rodgers' obsession w/ Russell Wilson.

Well to be fair, Wilson does keep trolling him with douchey little comments.  :P 




I don't get the Sam Bradford stuff, though.  That's the one part of this that's just not funny

While it's undeniably disgusting beyond belief, it's funny for at least three reasons: 

1.)  How utterly random and nonsensical his comments are

2.)  How they're (hopefully!) completely unlike anything Bradford would say in real life (even more so than the stuff the other QB's say)

3.)  The other guys' collective reaction to his comments. 


I dread Bradford's "contributions" as well, but I still can't help but laugh my ass off at them anyway.  Obviously YMMV. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on March 26, 2013, 11:42:10 AM
I dig everyone picking on Flacco and Romo's "what did I ever do to you guys" stuff, LMAO!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on March 26, 2013, 04:07:03 PM
The Bradford stuff basically just Bizarro Sam. they basically picked the nicest guy in the bunch and turned him in to a lecherous filth monger. It's so wrong that I find it funny.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on March 26, 2013, 06:46:44 PM
The Bradford stuff basically just Bizarro Sam. they basically picked the nicest guy in the bunch and turned him in to a lecherous filth monger. It's so wrong that I find it funny.  ;D

That's true. I was in Norman when Bradford QB'd there. He's one of the nicest guys you will ever know. I was pleased that he got his big contract the year before the rookie pay scale hammer went in  8)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on March 26, 2013, 11:59:10 PM
The Bradford stuff basically just Bizarro Sam. they basically picked the nicest guy in the bunch and turned him in to a lecherous filth monger. It's so wrong that I find it funny.  ;D

That's true. I was in Norman when Bradford QB'd there. He's one of the nicest guys you will ever know. I was pleased that he got his big contract the year before the rookie pay scale hammer went in  8)

He seems like a good guy, and he's tough as nails. Now if they'd only give him some targets to throw to...
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: TheCommandTent on April 08, 2013, 06:42:51 AM
I can't wait to see what QB's on FB does with the latest news on Flacco.   ;D

Quote
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco will add "actor" to his resume as the Super Bowl XLVII MVP and $120.6 million dollar man will portray the legendary Johnny Unitas in the upcoming film "Unitas We Stand", reports Aaron Wilson of the Baltimore Sun.

Joe Unitas, Johnny Unitas' son, says that Flacco will portray his Hall of Fame father in scenes from the 1958 NFL championship game, or "The Greatest Game Ever Played".

"Obviously, the Baltimore ties are very important to me," Joe Unitas said. "I think it's great that Joe just won the Super Bowl with the Ravens and was Most Valuable Player in the game. A lot of the way Joe plays and his demeanor reminds me a lot of my dad. He's not a rah-rah guy. He throws a touchdown and maybe there's a little fist pump. He understands his job is all about winning and he does a phenomenal job leading the offense and the team and obviously they've developed a lot of trust after becoming a champion. He's an awesome teammate and great leader of the team."

Filming will take place this summer and will not interfere with Flacco's availability for the start of training camp.

"I'm excited and honored by the opportunity to play Johnny Unitas," Flacco said in a statement posted on www.unitaswestand.com, the film's official website.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/ravens-qb-joe-flacco-portray-johnny-unitas-upcoming-023324056--nfl.html
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on April 09, 2013, 09:52:09 AM
Oh yeah, they'll definitely use that for fodder, no question! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on April 28, 2013, 02:21:49 PM
I almost totally missed the latest one, put up after the first round of the draft : http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-draft-valry/

Will Joe Flacco finally attain elite status?
What does ten bucks have to say about first round pick EJ Manuel?
Who is Archie Manning's favorite (and least favorite) son? (This is probably my favorite piece of this particular entry)

All that and more, including a special appearance by...oh my...really?...yes?...wow...

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: TheCommandTent on April 28, 2013, 09:20:46 PM
I almost totally missed the latest one, put up after the first round of the draft : http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-draft-valry/

Will Joe Flacco finally attain elite status?
What does ten bucks have to say about first round pick EJ Manuel?
Who is Archie Manning's favorite (and least favorite) son? (This is probably my favorite piece of this particular entry)

All that and more, including a special appearance by...oh my...really?...yes?...wow...

Another excellent edition.  Thanks for the link.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on April 28, 2013, 11:25:42 PM
And yes, the Johnny Unitas movie role for Flacco was indeed mentioned in there.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 29, 2013, 04:52:33 AM
Quote
Ten Bucks  No it's true.  He is.

comedy gold
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on April 29, 2013, 11:37:33 AM
Quote
Ten Bucks  No it's true.  He is.

comedy gold

Heh!  Yeah, that was my favorite part as well. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on August 05, 2013, 01:47:01 PM
They're back, baby (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-hall-of-fame-edition/)!

The Hall of Fame Edition of the series brings in classic quarterbacks. Who will win the insult war between Favre and Rodgers? Who is the dumber explainer of jokes : Roethlisberger or Bradshaw? Is Joe Montana or Steve Young the superior slinger of insults? Is Joe Namath drunk? Is Joe Flacco relevant? And why is Riley Cooper...oh dear.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 05, 2013, 01:55:12 PM
f'n' AWESOME

Quote
TERRY BRADSHAW
IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE ANTHONY WEINER TEXTED PHOTOS OF HIS PENIS A BUNCH OF TIMES.
6 Hours Ago . Like

BEN ROETHLISBERGER
Hey. I was just gonna say that!
6 Hours Ago . Like
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 05, 2013, 02:57:18 PM
BWHAHAHAHAHA!! 




So much hilarity this week: 


Quote
BRETT FAVRE

I changed my mind. I’M BACK!

ESPN, Peter King, and John Madden just creamed their pants reading this

Quote
DREW BREES

Uh-oh. Looks like we got us an old fashioned, “Joke Explain-Off.”

Quote
ABBOT AND COSTELLO’S GHOSTS

ENOUGH, ALREADY. WE GET IT.

JOE FLACCO
Quote
JOE FLACCO

Listening to Bradshaw and Roethlisberger is like watching two circus gorillas debate quantum physics.


And of course, I would like to thank Aaron Rodgers for christening the term "HALL-OF-F**K-YOU".  ;D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: TheCommandTent on August 05, 2013, 03:57:58 PM
Absolutely hilarious as usual. 
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on August 06, 2013, 02:31:01 PM
Seems like an appropriate place to throw this video :



Their willingness to do things like this is why I am simply incapable of hating the Manning brothers.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: TheCommandTent on August 06, 2013, 03:30:36 PM
Seems like an appropriate place to throw this video :



Their willingness to do things like this is why I am simply incapable of hating the Manning brothers.


That was .... umm ... odd ...    ???
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 12, 2013, 11:11:40 AM
The newest entry is up! 

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-wack-like-me/

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on August 12, 2013, 03:26:18 PM
Okay, Riley Cooper's inclusion this week caused me to spit water all over my desk.

Also nice to see creepy Sam Bradford make an appearance. And Mark Sanchez having part of his response intercepted was pure gold.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 12, 2013, 03:32:30 PM
Russell Wilson for the win!  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 12, 2013, 05:23:00 PM
I WILL SUPER GLUE DOG FUR TO YOUR FACE, NAIL A TAIL INTO YOUR ASS, AND PUT YOU IN A BASKET ON MICHAEL VICK’S DOORSTEP WILSON!

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 19, 2013, 01:59:32 PM
Fantasy draft, baby! (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-the-fantasy-draft/) 


LOL.  I think Sanchez is actually getting more hate this week than Romo is!  (Those poor, poor Jets fans...)  ;) 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 19, 2013, 04:39:45 PM
Geez, there sure are a lot of Matts in the NFL. :D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 27, 2013, 01:00:50 PM
Dress Rehearsal Week (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-dress-rehearsal-week/) 


LOL!  I particularly love Rodgers' threat to Wilson this time. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 27, 2013, 02:05:11 PM
A Dead Horse:  Ow. Ow. OW!



awesome
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 27, 2013, 02:08:16 PM
http://profootballmock.com/iphone-text/intercepted-text-aaron-rodgers-and-russell-wilson/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 27, 2013, 02:13:16 PM
Ha, that was great! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 27, 2013, 04:10:00 PM
"Lizzed" - oh, man.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 28, 2013, 11:06:07 AM
Heh.  In certain (disturbing) ways, Sam Bradford is probably my favorite character there (although the Rodgers-Wilson dynamic never fails to crack me up as well). 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 04, 2013, 01:19:31 AM
In this week's edition (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-cruelest-cuts/), Flacco, Sanchez, and Jay Cutler's mom are the main butt monkeys.  Gearing up for the regular season, folks! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 04, 2013, 06:50:39 AM
Classic! Although 'firing' most of the craptastic cast will take away a lot of their ammo...their reactions to the insults are sometimes just as funny, if not funnier, than the insults themselves.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 04, 2013, 12:26:14 PM
Something tells me we'll see them again, and soon.  ;) 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on September 09, 2013, 05:14:23 PM
How the Hell has the latest one not been posted yet? http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-and-theyre-off/

Poor Joe Flacco.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 09, 2013, 07:48:52 PM
uh... b/c I was busy winning my first soccer game of the new season around 18-1.  The ref stopped posting the score at 10.  I lost track at 16.  I know we scored a few after that.



the peterson - frazier - breed - pryor segment was the best bit in there
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 10, 2013, 08:02:18 AM
Heh.  Yeah, that exchange between AP and Frazier is probably my favorite this week.  Although the bit about not using the word "tie" three times in a conversation (lest he be summoned) cracked me up as well.  ;D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on September 16, 2013, 02:43:18 PM
New one! http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-place-bets/

Can Joe Flacco's son be the only thing between the world as we know it and the coming of the Apocalypse?!

Also, the weather delays amused me.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 17, 2013, 11:21:27 AM
LOL.  Love Mark Sanchez thinking he's dead and saying random shit. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 18, 2013, 08:15:21 AM
Quote
TOM BRADY Nice game Romo. Getting an early start on your December collapse to beat the Christmas rush, are we?

LOL
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 23, 2013, 02:11:42 PM
GREAT SCOTT!! (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-opposite-day-13/) 


I think Cam Newton has my favorite line this week:  "Seriously Eli, why are you so afraid of scoring? Were you molested by a touchdown once or something?"  <cackle> 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 23, 2013, 02:45:21 PM
I was starting to fear they'd jumped the shark, but this week's was pretty damn good - especially the end of it

I also loved:
Cam Newton: Hey guys, in the interest of being politically correct, I say we stop referring to Griffin’s team as the “Redskins”
Cam Newton: And instead we call them “The Washington Bye Weeks”
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on September 23, 2013, 04:35:33 PM
They should have dog piled Eli and Kaepernick MOAAR!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on September 26, 2013, 04:17:48 PM
It's Pro Football Mock, so I'm putting it here : http://profootballmock.com/iphone-text/intercepted-text-roger-goodell-gets-results-nfl-drug-tests/

Quote
Did you find any traces of drugs in Pacman Jones’ urine sample?
It would be more accurate to say that we found some traces of urine in Pacman Jones’ drug sample.

Quote
Colin Kaepernick?
We didn’t check his sample.
Why not?
When he tried to hand us the cup, Richard Sherman intercepted it.

Quote
Mark Sanchez?
Unfortunately we weren’t able to collect a usable sample from Mr. Sanchez.
Because?
He kept missing the cup.
Every time?
Zero-for-10 attempts.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 27, 2013, 05:51:10 PM
LOL!  Those are great. 



Quote
Brandon Weeden?
Pure, concentrated sadness

Quote
Sam Bradford?
You really don't want to know, trust me.

Quote
Bill Belicheck?
An extraordinarily high count of negatively-charged midi-chlorians.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 30, 2013, 11:56:48 AM
"That's Wookie, Ben"



http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-intervention/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on September 30, 2013, 01:35:38 PM
Roethlisberger's many accents and the associated jokes amused me greatly this week.

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER : BECAUSE YOU THROW SO MANY BLOODY PICKS, GUV’NAH
BEN ROETHLISBERGER : WE PLAYED IN GERMANY YESTERDAY, WHICH IS WHY I’M USING A GERMAN ACCENT, YOU SEE.
CAM NEWTON : Great Britain, Ben.
BEN ROETHLISBERGER : Thanks Cam. Great Brittin’ to you too.

Also, this :

Quote
JAY CUTLER : What the hell is “Breaking Bad”
CAM NEWTON : The story of a simple man who rises to become world famous at his craft, then loses everything and becomes a wretched husk of a failure.
ELI MANNING : ‘Sup?
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 30, 2013, 06:55:54 PM
Yeah, Ben's "accents" and the Schaub/Breaking Bad bits were great this week.  :D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 01, 2013, 05:50:26 AM
This got me:

Quote
COOPER MANNING Hey, Eli. You know what’s weird? So far this season, you’ve thrown for 1,148 yards more than I have. YET WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF WINS. HAHAHAHA
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 07, 2013, 09:46:56 AM
The latest installation is up! (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-of-pink-and-picks/) 

About the only thing that surprises me is Eli not sharing more of the "suck spotlight" with Romo (although Daddy Manning does get in some pretty harsh words). 



My favorite bits from this week: 

Quote
MICHAEL JORDAN'S NIPPLES

We resent that.

Quote
DREW BREES

CUTLER! Please do not interrupt me while I’m not giving a f**k about you.

Quote
TONY ROMO'S DOG

I’m running away to live with Michael Vick.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 07, 2013, 04:10:25 PM
Please don't mention Matt Schaub...

Please don't mention Matt Schaub...

Quote
COLIN KAEPERNICK I just assumed it was in honor of “Matt Schaub is a Weak Armed Little Girl” month.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Oh wait. Silly me. EVERY month is “Matt Schaub is a Weak Armed Little Girl” month. HAHAHA

MATT SCHAUB SHUT YOUR HOT WING HOLE, KAPTAIN CHIN-PUBES.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Way to Schitt the bed on national TV, Schaub!

SON OF A...

...but truer words haven't been spoken. Jackass.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 07, 2013, 05:21:29 PM
I found this week to be a bit underwhelming...  not bad, but nothing I thought was was laugh-out-loud funny...
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on October 07, 2013, 05:40:40 PM
Well anytime Romo is mocked it's funny, but I have to agree with Brant that this one was not laugh out loud funny,
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on October 14, 2013, 01:49:23 PM
The new one! http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-the-red-zone/

I thought this was a step up from last week's effort. Creepy Sam Bradford makes what might be his first appearance of the season. Ben Roethlisberger's Gatorade-related habits are discussed. Learn the disturbing truth of what's happening to the Bucs. Oh, and Bob Costas appears.

Quote
BOB COSTAS I’m calling a halftime in this convo so I can deliver another on of my patented BOB COSTAS EDITORIALS!
JOE FLACCO What is it this time? Guns?
AAARON RODGERS Racism?
JAY CUTLER
Unfair working conditions in the Wonka factory?
BEN ROETHLISBERGER BECAUSE BOB COSTAS IS AS SHORT AS AN OOMPA LOOMPA, YOU SEE.
BOB COSTAS No, no, and fuck you.
BOB COSTAS Today, I am here to demand that we NO LONGER use that horribly inappropriate term when speaking about the Washington team.
CAM NEWTON Oh, you're talking about the name "Redskins?"
BOB COSTAS No. The term “Professionals”
BOB COSTAS IT’S AN INSULTING COMPARISON TO TALENTED FOOTBALL PLAYERS EVERYWHERE

Oh, and this :

Quote
ALEX SMITH Keep flapping those gums, ForeheadStein. Next month my Chiefs will embarrass you so bad you'll swear it's one of your epic playoff collapses.
PEYTON MANNING Right, right. Because any team coached by Andy Reid has a right to talk shit about playoff failure.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 14, 2013, 02:33:52 PM
I gotta say that I was a little underwhelmed.  Some of it had some moments, but the "Red Zone" schtick fell a little flat for me.

There were also some glaring editing errors.  I'd rather they come out with a good one on Tuesday than a mediocre one on Monday.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on October 14, 2013, 04:44:11 PM
I'm with Brant on this one.  It lacked something that I just cannot put my finger on...oh right!  Humor.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 14, 2013, 05:35:45 PM
Yeah, kinda underwhelming, but I did LOL at this little gem:

Quote
BOB COSTAS HOLD EVERYTHING

PHILIP RIVERS Diminutive NBC Sportscaster Bob Costas?

BOB COSTAS I’m calling a halftime in this convo so I can deliver another on of my patented BOB COSTAS EDITORIALS!

I hate Bob Costas. Such a jackass.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on October 14, 2013, 07:21:44 PM
Yeah, kinda underwhelming, but I did LOL at this little gem:

Quote
BOB COSTAS HOLD EVERYTHING

PHILIP RIVERS Diminutive NBC Sportscaster Bob Costas?

BOB COSTAS I’m calling a halftime in this convo so I can deliver another on of my patented BOB COSTAS EDITORIALS!

I hate Bob Costas. Such a jackass.

I want to punt that clown every time I see him.  Instead I turn off the sound or change the channel.   Self righteous little dick who couldn't play a sport to save his life.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 15, 2013, 11:41:15 AM
I guess I'm just easy to please, because I laughed my fool head off at this week's entry.  ("BRAINS!")  :D 


I do agree with brant, though:  I'd much prefer they take the time to do them right and post them on Tuesday. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 21, 2013, 11:13:57 AM
"The Injury Report" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-injury-report/) 


Poor Archie Manning.  They turn him into more and more of a dick every week...  :P 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 21, 2013, 11:29:51 AM
"SNUGGLES THE FABRIC SOFTENER BEAR   I’LL CUT THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER WHO USES THAT TERM"
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on October 21, 2013, 12:28:17 PM
It was more enjoyable this week.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 29, 2013, 02:47:35 AM
"Candy Asses": The Halloween Edition (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-candy-butts/)


I'd call this one middling -- I've seen worse, I've seen better.  The costume avatars were pretty good, though; my personal favorite was probably Jerry Jones as Skeletor, but Tannehill as Aquaman cracked me up as well.  :D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on October 29, 2013, 05:02:04 AM
It rates a meh this week.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 29, 2013, 05:22:07 AM
some of the funnier bits were the non-QBs, like the people spinning in their graves.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 05, 2013, 12:57:40 AM
MIDSEASON AWARDS (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-midseason-awards/)


I think I'm just gonna start calling Flacco Rodney Dangerfield.  :D 



Quote
PEYTON MANNING

Aaaaand the Tony Award for “Best Drama Queen” goes to Romo

 ;D

Even when he wins, that poor guy can't catch a break! 




Quote
RICHIE INCOGNITO is picking up valuable bullying tips here

Heh. 




Quote
GHOST OF GEORGE BLANDA

(looks up from hell) HEY!

PHILIP RIVERS

George Blanda is in hell?

CARSON PALMER

All Raiders go to hell. It’s the deal Al Davis made to win the ’84 Super Bowl.

Okay, I'll admit I literally laughed out loud at that bit. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on November 05, 2013, 02:49:37 AM
Not too shabby this week.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 11, 2013, 10:28:22 AM
last week was good.  this week is OK, but progress is sideways, not forward

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-fine-line/



but this was pretty funny:
Quote
ADRIAN PETERSON  No, I did it. You’re just a handoff delivery system with a helmet.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 12, 2013, 08:42:34 AM
^  Heh.  Yeah, that was good (and only too true for the most part). 


I agree it was pretty average this week.  I give them credit for keeping the movie lines from feeling *too* forced (for the most part), but overall it felt a little lackluster. 


I did laugh at this bit, though: 
Quote
J.J. WATT  My team is going NOWHERE! I’ve been a defensive superstar for two years now, all in a wasted effort!

DeMARCUS WARE  Only two years? You’re adorable.


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on November 12, 2013, 10:49:12 PM
Yep, I laughed pretty hard at the Ware-Watt bit.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 18, 2013, 12:34:20 PM
Great, another punny title... (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-division-quest/)  ::) 


Lots of good bits this week, but this one was probably my favorite: 
Quote
ELI MANNING  ALL ABOARD THE NEW YORK SUPER BOWL EXPRESS. CHOO, CHOO, DICKWEEDS.

AARON RODGERS  Manning, I can assure you, NO ONE gives your pathetic team ANY chance at making it to the Super Bowl

TOM BRADY  FOR GOD’S SAKE, SOMEBODY STOP THEM. KILL THEM WITH FIRE, PLEASE!

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on November 18, 2013, 10:01:16 PM
Eagles fans throwing out threats at God was pretty damn funny.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 19, 2013, 05:02:06 AM
you also saw the "Romo as an expert at choking" coming as soon as Brees appeared with his unable-to-talk bit
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 25, 2013, 11:50:01 AM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-failure-feast/

starts funny, ends weak.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 25, 2013, 02:37:04 PM
I agree they fell down at the end, but overall I'd rate this one as "halfway-decent". 




Quote
CARSON PALMER  Yep, I think I’ve finally regained my elite QB status since I suffered that devastating knee injury. And it’s only taken me 7 years to do it!

RGIII  (sobs)

Hee. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on November 25, 2013, 08:01:35 PM
I'd actually started to miss Sam Bradford's disturbing additions to the chats. He started it off innocently, then took it appropriately straight to Hell.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 26, 2013, 03:08:33 AM
I'd actually started to miss Sam Bradford's disturbing additions to the chats.

Well it had been a while since we'd had a tie...  ;) 



He started it off innocently, then took it appropriately straight to Hell.  ;D

Yeah, I do have to say that was one of his better ones! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on November 26, 2013, 09:24:49 PM
I also enjoyed Aaron Rodgers attempting to keep track of his crappy backups. So funny because it's so true.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 05, 2013, 07:37:39 AM
a sign of how mediocre this feature has become lately...  it's THU and we're just now getting around to talking about it.

Quote
RIMSHOT BA-DUM-TSHHH


OK, Flo from Progressive Insurance showing up was pretty good...

and then there was this...

Quote
RAY LEWIS  I’ll take a stab at it.
PLAXICO BURRESS  I’ll take a shot at it.
TORONTO MAYOR ROB FORD  I’ll take a crack at it.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 05, 2013, 02:31:51 PM
LOL!  Loved Drew Brees doped up on Ny-Quil. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on December 05, 2013, 03:29:03 PM
LOL!  Loved Drew Brees doped up on Ny-Quil.

And based on how the Saints played Monday night, he might have actually been comatose from taking too much.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on December 05, 2013, 06:03:18 PM
I thought it was pretty good.  Then again, I AM easily amused.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: skeptical.platypus on December 05, 2013, 08:20:56 PM
Should have ended every Wilson post with a Go Hawks.

Still pretty funny.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 10, 2013, 08:09:03 AM
scattered moments of hilarity...

Quote
PHILIP RIVERS   Holy crap, how many kickers are we going to have in this convo?
CARSON PALMER   Well so far we have Billy Cundiff and Matt Prater. So that’s one.

Quote
DREW BREES   To put that into perspective, it would take Matt Schaub about three decades to throw for 50,000 yards.
NICK FOLES   Or two seasons, if you include INT returns.

Quote
Crickets  Chirping

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER   TOUCHDOWNS 349 AND YARDS 3 FOR THREW I. ME BLAME CAN’T YOU!
LIKES THIS, Yoda does

Quote
TONY ROMO   Does Dan Snyder have some other NFL franchise I'm not aware of?
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 10, 2013, 12:02:42 PM
Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER   TOUCHDOWNS 349 AND YARDS 3 FOR THREW I. ME BLAME CAN’T YOU!
LIKES THIS, Yoda does

Quote
TONY ROMO   Does Dan Snyder have some other NFL franchise I'm not aware of?

I cracked up at those as well.  :D 



More lines from this week: 
Quote
ALEX SMITH That’s not surprising. Wes Welker gets concussed when he brushes his teeth too vigorously.
Quote
MATT STAFFORD BUT IT WAS SO COLD! My cheeks started to swell up in the second half.

TONY ROMO How could you tell?
Quote
NFL SIDELINE Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go before Michael Irvin tries to snort me.

YES, WE PUT MICHAEL IRVIN IN THE CONVO EARLIER just to make this joke


But almost certainly my favorite was: 
Quote
JOE FLACCO Wait, you raped a circus bear?

SAM BRADFORD Well, you should have seen how it was dressed.
As incredibly disturbing as he is, I think Bradford may just be my favorite character.  :o  ;D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 10, 2013, 12:17:45 PM
The Bradford schtick was amusing for a bit, but some of the "top this" stuff lately hasn't been that funny to me  :-\
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on December 10, 2013, 06:35:31 PM
Bradford had gotten old, but they took him out of the equation long enough that he once again amuses me.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 11, 2013, 08:12:55 AM
today there's a fun war of words between the jumbotrons

http://profootballmock.com/boardbattles/battle-boards-broncos-chargers-part-two/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on December 11, 2013, 08:16:58 AM
Much better then the last couple of QB facebooks.  I don't know but those things have lost their mojo.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 11, 2013, 08:21:08 AM
I inserted myself into a grammar 'discussion' in one of the last articles to call out someone else's false call-out of a spelling. Also, to give him kudos for some of the more esoteric jokes he makes. Surprisingly, the guy that runs the site sent me a nice long e-mail thanking me for my praise and for the grammar corrections. I offered to help him proofread in the future, but no response to that as of yet.  :)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 11, 2013, 09:07:52 AM
I offered to help him proofread in the future

is that like when you offered to review RAF for us? ;)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 11, 2013, 09:10:37 AM
I can certainly work on that if you still want it. I might need to take it with me over the holidays, though - I'm not sure I'll have any time until I'm off after next week.  :-\
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 16, 2013, 01:41:10 PM
Quote
NICK FOLES  What, no “rimshot” for that?
RIMSHOT   Hell no. That was fucking awful.

seriously, the rimshot was the star of the show
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 16, 2013, 02:15:35 PM
Quote
CUNTBUBBLES
syringes full of bull semen
I WILL CHOKE YOU WITH LAUREN TANNEHILL’S OVERSIZED RUBBER PENIS
SHUT THOSE PUSSYFLAPS YOU CALL LIPS

Stay classy, NFL QB's on Facebook.  ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 17, 2013, 08:10:15 AM
Heh. 

Quote
JAY CUTLER  It felt DAMN good to get back out there and take control of my team.

JASON CAMPBELL  You threw 2 picks in the first half.

AARON RODGERS  It’s like you never left, Jay!


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 17, 2013, 11:16:25 AM
^ Heh...that was definitely an LOL moment.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on December 17, 2013, 04:06:36 PM
The highlights for me this week :

Quote
SAM BRADFORD I had my balls out in a court once.
SAM BRADFORD But the judge insisted that I put my hand on the Bible instead to swear my oath.


Quote
COLIN KAEPERNICK I have the weirdest boner right now.
SAM BRADFORD That’s exactly what I said. But the judge refused to accept it as an oath.

Quote
ANDREW LUCK With all due respect, may I also remind you gentlemen that my Colts are on top of our division, and we beat the Texans yesterday.
PEYTON MANNING SHUT THOSE PUSSYFLAPS YOU CALL LIPS, LUCK. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR ENDLESS BOASTING.
TOM BRADY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE LUCK, CAN’T YOU SHOW SOME CLASS FOR ONCE?
ANDREW LUCK You’re right, of course. I sincerely apologize for my arrogant outburst. My god, I was more monster than man.

Quote
RICHARD SHERMAN HOW IN THE HELL DID I THROW FIVE INTERCEPTIONS YESTERDAY?!?!?
COLIN KAEPERNICK Shouldn’t that have been Eli Manning’s line?
RICHARD SHERMAN It was. But I picked it off.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 18, 2013, 10:20:49 AM
Ha!  Yeah, I loved those last two bits as well.  (Bradford was pretty "meh" for me this week.) 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 23, 2013, 12:32:47 PM
Secret Santa (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-secret-santa/) time! 


Okay, I'm not sure why exactly, but I honestly laughed my way through most of the whole thing this week.  This is definitely one of the funnier ones they've come out with in a while. 



Quote
CAM NEWTON Awww. This is just like that classic Christmas story.

PHILIP RIVERS Which one?

CAM NEWTON “Die Hard.”
Quote
DREW BREES I WILL DESTROY YOU BRADY!

TOM BRADY Nah, I’ll just dress up like a Saints receiver in the Panthers secondary. That way you’ll never hit me. ROFL

And my favorite... 
Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER HI CAME NEWTOWN. DID YOU GET THE SECRET SANTA GIFT I LEFT FOR YOU?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER I HAD A HUGE SYMBOL OF THAT GUY YOU LIKE SO MUCH INSTALLED AT YOUR HOUSE TODAY

CAM NEWTON Wait, you mean that enormous twelve-foot tall SWASTIKA that I found bolted to the roof of my house today was from you?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER DO YOU LIKE IT? IT’S ‘CAUSE YOU ALWAYS WEAR SOUP NAZI SHIRTS UNDER YOUR JERSEY!

CAM NEWTON No, I wear SUPERMAN shirts under my jersey, Ben.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER You mean that guy who invaded Poland? Wow, that’s not cool dude.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 23, 2013, 01:09:39 PM
Russell Wilson was the bomb in this one
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on December 23, 2013, 01:31:20 PM
Meh...  we're more funnier on a slow day then professional writers.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on December 23, 2013, 03:41:22 PM
Russell Wilson was the bomb in this one

They've actually done so well at making him into the ultimate troll that I found myself wondering if he actually did intentionally throw that game...

The Newton-Big Ben exchange was really good, too. I also liked the end.

Quote
ANDY DALTON - But since it is Christmas and all, could we maybe end this convo on a positive, upbeat note?
TOM BRADY - True dat. Let’s take a moment to put aside our differences and appreciate the most wonderful part of this joyous season.
TONY ROMO - That the Giants aren’t in the playoffs to fuck everyone’s shit up?
TOM BRADY - Exactly.
COLIN KAEPERNICK - Hear, hear.
AARON RODGERS - Amen to that.
ELI MANNING - I STILL WANT A SECRET SANTA GIFT!

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 29, 2013, 01:33:28 PM
soooooooo NSFW, but soooooooo funny


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 29, 2013, 03:26:39 PM
LOL!  Yeah, that was wrong, but hilarious. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 30, 2013, 11:03:10 AM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-seeding-arrangements/

Quote
MAGIC 8-BALL   ALL SIGNS POINT TO “LOL”

Quote
DREW BREES    See, I prefer to think of you as “Captain Playoff Interception Von Foreheadstein”
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on December 30, 2013, 04:21:19 PM
Quote
JERRY JONES - DAGNABBIT! WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS TEAM INTO THE POSTSEASON?!
JERRY JONES - It seems like no matter who the QB is, no matter who calls the plays, no matter WHO runs the defense, we just KEEP COMING UP SHORT.
JERRY JONES - AS THE COWBOYS G.M. FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS, I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IS!
DAN SNYDER is similarly perplexed


Quote
KYLE ORTON - I still feel bad about letting down all the Cowboys fans watching that game.
COWBOYS FANS - It’s cool. We’re used to it.


Quote
ATLANTA FALCONS FANS - Man, missing the playoffs sure does suck.
BALTIMORE RAVENS FANS - True. But at least we still have coaching stability…
NEW YORK GIANTS FANS - Quality team ownership…
HOUSTON TEXANS FANS - And a high draft pick with which to improve!
WASHINGTON REDSKINS FANS - (sob)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 31, 2013, 03:13:19 AM
^  LOL!  Yeah, those are good. 

A pity I can't actually read the stupid thing at the moment.  I keep getting a "404 Not Found" error when I go to the site.  :( 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 31, 2013, 12:29:28 PM
Ah, finally I was able to get on the site and read this week's entry! 


It's not as funny as last week's, but IMO it's still one of their better efforts this season.  AB already posted my favorite highlights, but I also enjoyed the 8-ball, along with the bit where Meg Griffin, King Joffrey, and Jar-Jar all bash on Romo.  ;D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 06, 2014, 02:43:02 PM
It's the Wild Card Shuffle (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-wild-card-shuffle/)! 



LOL.  Another solid entry.  It seems like the writers have finally gotten their act together the last few weeks.  I loved the appearance by Santa Claus! 

Oh yeah, and the last bit with Bradford and Brees was perfect.  ;D 




Quote
CHIEFS FANS Hey, we’re not complaining. Andy Reid did an awesome job this year.

CHIEFS FANS We’re thankful he took us all the way to the playoffs, even if we didn’t go as far as we would have liked.

EAGLES FANS Check back with us after about 14 years of that shit and see how you feel then.


Quote

ELI MANNING Wow, that’s a pretty amazing factoid.

COLIN KAEPERNICK What? That both Nick Foles and Drew Brees graduated from the same high school?

ELI MANNING No, that Nick Foles actually graduated from high school, period.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER THEY’RE CALLING NICK FOLES DUMB. THOUGH I’M NOT REALLY SURE WHY.

TOM BRADY Your job is to explain the jokes, Roethlisberger. Not to question their logic.


Quote
RGIII SHUT UP. NO WAY SHOULD I BE COMPARED TO BRANDON WEEDEN

TONY ROMO True. He does have two working knees after all.


Quote
MARSHAWN LYNCH BEAST MODE IS ARTIST. PUNY SAINTS DEFENSE MERELY HIS CANVAS.

ROB RYAN Not this time, FreakMode. I shut down the birdshit Eagle offense on Saturday, I can sure as hell stop you flappy bastards too.

MARSHAWN LYNCH BEAST MODE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THREATS FROM FAT VERSION OF REX RYAN. BEAST MODE KNOW ROAD TO SUPER BOWL RUN THROUGH SEATTLE AND OVER BACKS OF PUNY SAINTS JERSEYS


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 06, 2014, 03:14:20 PM
the Eagles fans made me chuckle, and Ben starting question things was good for a smile, but the best recent one was still the Secret Santa column - especially Russell Wilson.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on January 06, 2014, 03:54:37 PM
I enjoyed Ben starting to question the jokes.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 13, 2014, 12:22:58 PM
Played Off (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-played/):  Let the snarking begin! 



Definitely not as good as last week, although the Chargers defense constantly jumping offsides every time Peyton says "Omaha!" was pretty funny.  This part near the end was perhaps my favorite, though: 

Quote

TOM BRADY Okay. And if I win, you have to tattoo “I’m an overrated, untalented, floating toilet pretzel of a man, and on my best day, I’m not fit to carry Tom Brady’s enormous jockstrap to the Patriots’ official team laundromat, which is probably for the best since it would just end up getting picked off when I tried to drop it in the hamper anyway” on YOUR forehead.

CARSON PALMER What’ll he do with all the leftover space?

ELI MANNING I’m guessing a Papa John’s ad.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Centurion40 on January 13, 2014, 12:34:59 PM
Ok, that's funny!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 13, 2014, 12:46:29 PM
as a Saints fan, I have to agree that Colston was the Fucking Moron of the Week.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on January 13, 2014, 01:08:13 PM
Good one this week. I like how the Chargers defense kept jumping offside, ha!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on January 13, 2014, 03:57:02 PM
I was amused by the joke explanations.

Quote
TOM BRADY Here, let me explain: Fuck the Jets.

Quote
COLIN KAEPERNICK Sure it makes sense. Here, let me explain: Fuck the Seahawks.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 20, 2014, 12:38:53 PM
Holy cow, this one (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-conference-brawls/) is long... 


Loved the "programming note" at the end: 
Quote
There WILL be an "NFL QB's on Facebook" installment next Monday, though it will NOT have a single mention of the Pro Bowl, because there's no way we're sitting through that shit.
 

:P 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: mirth on January 20, 2014, 12:53:30 PM
Quote
PEYTON MANNING:
Do it yourself. Just use the new password I created for your account:

“Captain Playoff Failure McLittleDick.”

ok. that made me laugh.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 20, 2014, 01:06:04 PM
Quote
TOM BRADY Take away all your field goals and touchdowns, and we would have won 16-0

That made me LOL.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 20, 2014, 01:44:36 PM
so I kinda like Cam's new schtick, but I have a feeling they're going to overuse it to the point of non-funniness in a hurry

it is fun to watch Wilson troll everyone else week after week with such sparse comments.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: mirth on January 20, 2014, 01:46:30 PM
Quote
TOM BRADY Take away all your field goals and touchdowns, and we would have won 16-0

That made me LOL.

And it's true!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on January 20, 2014, 04:18:17 PM
This amused me.

Quote
COLIN KAEPERNICK Hey! I was in the Super Bowl last year!
CARSON PALMER I think we all just assumed you got there through an act of the “Make-A-Wish” foundation.

They also totally nailed the paranoid anger that every Seahawks fan exhibits at all times.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 23, 2014, 02:44:59 AM
NFL "mockazines (http://profootballmock.com/exclusive-nfl-mockazines/)" (more at the link ;D ): 


(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Funny/MAGAZINE-TONY-ROMO_zpsc03d1b31.png) (http://s1108.photobucket.com/user/Rotarrin/media/Funny/MAGAZINE-TONY-ROMO_zpsc03d1b31.png.html)
(http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h412/Rotarrin/Funny/MAGAZINE-ELI-MANNING_zps0fe4cef9.png) (http://s1108.photobucket.com/user/Rotarrin/media/Funny/MAGAZINE-ELI-MANNING_zps0fe4cef9.png.html)

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 23, 2014, 05:32:34 AM
^ Those two are the best ones. The Elisha one is actually LOL-worthy. ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 27, 2014, 11:33:01 AM
NFL QB's on Facebook...in the year 2040! (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-spacebook-year-2040/) 


LOL: 
Quote

AARON RODGERS Mark Sanchez?

TOM BRADY Dies tragically when the hoverboard he’s riding collides head-on with the tail section of a Boeing 747.

AARON RODGERS You’re telling me that Mark Sanchez dies by… slamming face first into the back side of a jet?

TOM BRADY At least he died doing what he does best.


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 27, 2014, 12:01:57 PM
Quote
Washington Terrible Asian Road Drivers

I'm going to be LOL'ing that one for the next few days...
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 27, 2014, 04:35:27 PM
Quote
Washington Terrible Asian Road Drivers

I'm going to be LOL'ing that one for the next few days...

My grandfather and grandmother said the SAME thing when I was growing up over there. I've never forgotten their rage for that one particular group of drivers in D.C.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 03, 2014, 01:46:59 PM
OK - this Russell Wilson was totally worth waiting for

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-seachamps/

Especially
Quote
RUSSELL WILSON   Thanks for the game-winning past interference, Aaron.

Pure awesomesauce
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 03, 2014, 04:39:19 PM
Seachamps started pretty slow, but it improved quickly.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on February 03, 2014, 05:47:43 PM
That was one of the best ones I have read in a while.  "EAT A RAZOR CAKE, BRADY!"
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on February 04, 2014, 07:56:13 AM
LOL!  Loved Brees' comment to Manning: 

Quote
Christ, you’re so bitter your jizz must be pure Starbucks Dark Roast


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 21, 2014, 03:20:23 PM
http://profootballmock.com/small-african-village-thrilled-to-learn-of-broncos-super-bowl-victory/

the comments are freakin' hilarious
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on February 22, 2014, 12:34:03 PM
That site really is comedy gold.  I've been starting to check out their "articles" even outside of NFL QB's on FB. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on February 25, 2014, 01:52:36 PM
Bwahahahaha!!!!!! 


Top QB Prospects All Pretending To Be Awful Whenever Browns Scout Is Watching (http://profootballmock.com/nfl-combine-top-qb-prospects-pretending-awful-whenever-browns-scout-watching/)

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 26, 2014, 07:30:40 AM
^ The God comments are freakin' hilarious in that one!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 03, 2014, 08:00:13 AM
Not PFM,  still f'n' hilarious (http://www.theonion.com/articles/cancer-diagnosed-with-skip-bayless,35368/)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on March 05, 2014, 02:54:53 PM
Would probably be funnier if I knew (and/or cared) who Skip Bayless was... 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 05, 2014, 07:37:01 PM
Would probably be funnier if I knew (and/or cared) who Skip Bayless was...

Skip thinks Johnny Manziel is better than Tony Romo.

http://www.givemesport.com/438349-skip-bayless-johnny-manziel-is-better-than-tony-romo

Which doesn't say much, because my 13-year-old daughter is better than Tony Romo.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on March 06, 2014, 02:06:03 AM
^  Under ordinary circumstances, I would probably agree and say something dumb like "True 'dat".  However, the sad truth is that the Vikings would be absolutely thrilled to have even Romo as a QB.  :-[ 




Okay, I just about split my sides laughing at this:  Nick Saban Proposes 14 New Rules For College Football (http://msn.foxsports.com/college-football/outkick-the-coverage/nick-saban-proposes-new-rules-for-college-football.php)

Quote
1. Auburn may no longer play college football.

This may seem unfair, but think of all the injuries that have occurred in the Iron Bowl.

Why put player safety at stake with another football game?

Instead, Alabama will play Samford each year in a newly rechristened "Alabama Dominates Bowl." (In order to ensure that Alabama beats Samford each year, Gus Malzahn may not coach Samford.)

In fact, just to be safe...

2. Gus Malzahn may not coach football anywhere.

Including high school, pee wee, and certain video games that simulate championships.

3. Only four and five star recruits can play on the field.

If you are not a four or five star recruit, then you are ineligible. Because, let's be honest, two and three star players only exist to injure the players who are actually good. If you do not have enough four or five star players then you may only play with the four or five star players you have on your roster. If it seems unfair to take the field with only three or four players, you are wrong. If you have no four or five star players at all, then Alabama will play three games against you.

And by "play three games against you," we actually mean, "start the season with three victories."

4. The SEC will move to nine conference games, but Alabama will play Kentucky six times each season.

Don't worry, guys, half of these games will be in Alabama and half will be in Lexington. This will keep those contests fair.   

Meanwhile, LSU will play South Carolina twice, Florida twice, and Georgia twice. All on the road.

This may seem unfair, but that's only because you aren't thinking about what's in college football's best interest, which is clearly Alabama winning every game.

5. No field goal attempt may be returned for a touchdown.

Because those plays are dangerous, in that they require unathletic fat men to try and tackle athletic skinny men.   

6. All teams must huddle on offense.

If you refuse to huddle, you receive a five yard penalty. If you continue to refuse to huddle on three consecutive plays then you are decapitated at midfield by a linebacker of Nick Saban's choosing.

7. Alabama players may sell their uniforms and gear after each game.

No other teams may sell their uniforms and gear after each game.

If this seems like a double standard, that's because it's twice as fair.

8. It is permissible for coaches to stand on stools on the sideline to see over the line of scrimmage.

If you do not have a stool, then one will be provided for you.

9. Repeat after me: 12 games of regular season football in a hurry up no huddle offense = a death wish.

Fifteen games of football in a smashmouth physically imposing style = a light Swedish massage.

If this seems confusing to you it's because you're a Tennessee fan.

10. No team wearing crimson may be called for holding.

My bad, that's already in the SEC officiating handbook.

11. When running a read option, mobile quarterbacks are not allowed to hand off to running backs.

This confuses the defense.

Confusion is bad for the game of football.

Do we really want one team winning because the other team is confused? Are we playing football or chess?

12. When Bret Bielema is fired from Arkansas, he is guaranteed a job at my Mercedes Benz dealership.

When Bret Bielema is fired at my Mercedes Benz dealership, he is is guaranteed a job cleaning my lakehouse.

When Bret Bielema is fired from his job cleaning my lakehouse, he will receive the Samford head coaching job for life.

13. The NCAA rulebook does not apply to Lane Kiffin.

In fact, any penalty that Lane Kiffin incurs will be assessed to Bruce Pearl, who is currently facing a 48 year show cause penalty for "Not saying, 'God bless you,' when an NCAA agent sneezed."

14. Regardless of the outcome of the season, Alabama is awarded the national championship.


This has always been true, but we figure it's time to go ahead and codify this rule for posterity's sake.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on March 06, 2014, 12:35:55 PM
Would probably be funnier if I knew (and/or cared) who Skip Bayless was...

A clueless idiot who exists entirely as ESPN's sports troll. To this day, he rambles on and on about what a stud QB Tim Tebow is. Watching both Mark Cuban and Richard Sherman absolutely pulverize him during interviews brought much delight.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 06, 2014, 12:40:50 PM
Almost as much as watching Jim Everett put a beat down on Jim Rome.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on March 06, 2014, 12:47:42 PM
Almost as much as watching Jim Everett put a beat down on Jim Rome.

Had the beatings laid down on Skip been of the physical variety, they would have been much better.

Seriously, what grown man still goes by SKIP? Are you kidding me?! Change your damn name! Go with your middle name! Try ANY OTHER OPTION!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on March 21, 2014, 02:58:49 PM
Free Agency (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-free-agency/), beeyotches!! 


Quote
JONATHAN MARTIN Look, you don’t need to treat me any differently. All I ask is to be shown basic human respect and... wait, what's wrong with my face?

JIM HARBAUGH NOTHING! IT'S THE WORLD'S MOST PERFECTLY HANDSOME, RUGGED FACE. WHY, IT'S LIKE BRAD PITT AND TAYE DIGGS WERE SMUSHED INTO A BLENDER AND THEN POURED DIRECTLY ONTO YOUR SKULL!

JONATHAN MARTIN Um, okay. Well, after what went down in Miami last year, I’m tired of being harassed, abused, and pushed around while at work.

SEAHAWKS DEFENSE Then you’re definitely not going to enjoy meeting us.

Quote
AARON RODGERS HAHAHA DALLAS SCREWS UP YET ANOTHER OFFSEASON.

COWBOYS FANS This isn’t fair! WE’RE AMERICA’S TEAM! WE HAVE FIVE SUPER BOWL TITLES!

COWBOYS FANS We expect to receive magnificent, everlasting glory, but instead we’re stuck in this world of never-ending pain and suffering!

CAM NEWTON Ooh, ooh! What is, “Things Fred Phelps said to the Devil upon arriving in hell?”


Also, Kaepernick going all fanboy over having a (former) Dolphin on his team, and Marshawn Lynch preparing to advise Obama on the Ukraine situation were both pretty funny.  :P 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on March 21, 2014, 03:01:06 PM
Also: 

Free Agent DeMarcus Ware Looking Forward To Sacking Tony Romo (http://profootballmock.com/free-agent-demarcus-ware-looking-forward-to-sacking-tony-romo/)


He gets in the best/worst burn at the end: 
Quote
Asked if he would enjoy playing against Romo and the Cowboys in a playoff game, Ware responded, “No, I haven’t really thought about that. I’m trying to keep this fantasy at least somewhat realistic.”

 ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 03, 2014, 08:03:18 AM
Not PFM

still totally hilarious (http://www.sportspickle.com/2014/04/crips-release-desean-jackson-concern-affiliation-washington-redskins-organization)

Quote
Crips Release DeSean Jackson Over Concern About His Affiliation with Washington Redskins Organization

The Crips street gang announced today they will be releasing DeSean Jackson, amidst rumors of possible ties with one of the most troubled and controversial franchises in the NFL, the Washington Redskins.
 
“We enjoyed our time with Desean.  We had a lot of good years together,” said an anonymous Crips member.  “But we don’t want his rumored association with such a terrible institution to sully our name.  We’re a group that represents intimidation and toughness, and his ties with Washington contradict those values.  So it was best to cut ties.”
 
The announcement came just days after being released from the 10-6 Philadelphia Eagles.  Jackson will be joining a Washington Redskins team who finished the 2013 season with a 3-13 record.
 
“And don’t get me started on the name controversy,” the Crips member added.  “While we may be known as a group that commits crimes such as larceny, drug trafficking and murder, we are NOT known as a group that supports racial stereotypes towards Native Americans.  How the NFL hasn’t changed the team name or logo is something we here in the Crips are baffled by and discuss frequently.”
 
The release comes as a shock to many, as Jackson was only 27 years-old, arguably in the prime of his crime committing career.
 
“I’d like to emphasize this decision was not based on his gang related performance; he excelled in those regards,”  stated another Crips member, referring to the wide receivers rumored connections with two murders.  “This is STRICTLY about being affiliated with the Washington football team and avoiding such negative influence on our younger members.”
 
While it’s not known who the Crips will look to sign to replace Jackson, rumors are they’ve been in heavy contact with the Cincinnati Bengals and expect a signing in the near future.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on April 05, 2014, 12:42:47 PM
<snicker>



On the flip side, this one *is* from PFM, and it's actually a somewhat touching -- yet still humorous -- tribute to a man the league is poorer without: 

Ralph Wilson Awarded Four Lombardi Trophies Upon Arriving In Heaven (http://profootballmock.com/ralph-wilson-awarded-four-lombardi-trophies-upon-arriving-heaven/)

Quote
ETERNAL PARADISE – Ralph Wilson Jr., beloved longtime owner of the Buffalo Bills, passed away Tuesday at the age of 95, and was immediately greeted by Saint Peter at the pearly gates of Heaven with a pair of custom fitted angel wings, a solid gold halo, and four shiny Lombardi Trophies commemorating the dominant Bills teams of the mid 1990s, according to afterworld sources on the scene.

“Here you go big fella. These are for you,” said the saint upon presenting the trophies to the surprised but smiling Wilson. “We’ve been keeping these babies warm for you ever since ’95. Enjoy ‘em Ralph. You earned them.”

Wilson, whose team advanced to an unmatched four consecutive Super Bowl berths from 1990-1993, only to lose each time, hugged the trophies tightly as a look of peaceful joy spread across his face, before addressing the assembled angels and saints.

“I… I don’t understand,” Wilson reportedly uttered, still smiling. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate this. But we, we didn’t win those games.”

“Up here, anything is possible,” replied Saint Peter warmly. “You and the Bills not only won all four of those games, but your average margin of victory was over four touchdowns. You’re listed in Wikipedia as ‘the greatest NFL dynasty of all time.’ Congrats, big guy.”

“That was a nice moment,” Peter would later recall as Wilson carried the four trophies to his glorious sky-mansion. “He was really happy to get those Lombardis. It reminded me of the smile on (deceased Bears RB) Walter Payton’s face when we showed him the video of him scoring five touchdowns against the Patriots in the Super Bowl. It’s special moments like that that make this job worthwhile.”
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on May 08, 2014, 05:05:05 AM
Jerry Jones Trades Cowboys 1st Round Draft Pick For Handful of Magic Beans (http://profootballmock.com/jerry-jones-trades-cowboys-1st-round-draft-pick-handful-magic-beans/)


Quote
DALLAS – Cowboys owner/G.M. Jerry Jones executed a surprising pre-draft trade earlier today when he sent his team’s first round choice, the number sixteen pick overall, to Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots in exchange for a medium-sized handful of beans, local sources confirmed earlier today.

“Not just any beans. These are magic beans,” gushed the giddy Jones. “I tell you, old Jerry here really pulled a fast one on poor Bill Belichick. When he told me that he had these special beans available for a trade, and that all he wanted was our first round pick, I knew I had to act fast before some other G.M. took advantage of his foolish generosity.”

Added Jones: “Haha. Sucker!”

The beans, believed to be a mixture of common household chickpeas, Spanish lentils, and red kidney beans, will hep turn the Cowboys into “instant Super Bowl contenders,” according to Jones.

“Apparently, all we have to do is plant these bad boys right at our 50 yard line, and BAM, by the next morning we will have sprouted a fully grown strong side pass rusher capable of running a 4.5 in the 40 yard dash, a hard-hitting free safety with a 45.0 vertical jump and a big bodied left guard who can bench over 40 reps of 225 pounds without breaking a sweat. And all for the low, low cost of just the number sixteen overall pick? Ha! Jerry my boy, you’ve done it again.”

When reminded by reporters that AT&T Cowboys Stadium contains an artificial playing surface, which would make planting the beans an impossibility, Jones replied, “Well, duh. Obviously, we’re going to tear up our current field and replace it with 100% natural dirt and grass so that we can plant these little beauties. C’mon guys. I’m not an idiot, you know.”

Reaction around the league to the Cowboys’ bean acquisition ranged from shock and disbelief to, in at least one case, envy.

“Dammit. How the hell did we let Dallas beat us to that sweet deal?” stated outraged Redskins owner Dan Snyder. “Someone get me Belichick on the phone, pronto. Ask him if he still has that goose he told me about one time. The one that lays golden Lombardi trophies and shits Super Bowl rings. If he does, our next three first round picks could have his name on ‘em.”

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on May 12, 2014, 12:04:21 PM
they're baaaaaa-aaack

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-draftitude/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on May 13, 2014, 04:13:44 PM
Ha!  Right out the starting gate: 

Quote
ELI MANNING WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF BIG-TIME PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL, JOHNNY MANZIEL.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Wait, I thought he got drafted by the Browns?




And of course, the always-classic picking on Romo and the 'Boys: 

Quote
JOE FLACCO In other schedule news, did you notice that the Cowboys play the Redskins on the last week of the season?

MATT RYAN Really? Well then, congratulations Washington.

RGIII WHOO-HOO! WASHINGTON REDSKINS, 2014 NFC EAST CHAMPS BAYBEE

TONY ROMO Hey! Playing us the final week of the season does NOT guarantee that you will win the NFC East!

THE 2011 GIANTS, 2012 REDSKINS, and 2013 EAGLES beg to differ

 ;D

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on May 13, 2014, 05:35:10 PM
There's much better stuff than that, but I am not going to give it away.



"Hodor"
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on May 14, 2014, 09:21:12 AM
This was almost certainly my favorite bit: 

Quote
BATMAN He's not really the hero that Cleveland wants. But he is the one that they deserve.


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on June 09, 2014, 08:12:49 AM
Marshawn Lynch Surprise Winner In Belmont Stakes (http://profootballmock.com/marshawn-lynch-surprise-winner-belmont-stakes/)


Quote
ELMONT, NY – Outpacing favorites such as Wicked Strong, Tonalist, and the heavily favored California Chrome, Seattle Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch galloped to a 1.75 lengths victory in the 146th running of the Belmont Stakes today.

“On behalf of the NYRA and thoroughbred racing fans everywhere, we’d like to extend our sincere, albeit slightly confused, congratulations to Mr. Lynch for his surprising victory today,” said Jenny Kellner, spokeswoman for the New York Racing Association. “In all honesty, we were caught slightly off-guard by Mr. Lynch’s last second entry into the race. But we checked and double-checked the rule book, and nowhere did it specify that race entrants had to have four legs or a tail. And a basic medical exam of Mr. Lynch revealed him to be more horse-like than man anyway.”

Added Kellner: “And besides, his jockey, Mr. R. Wilson, met the appropriate height requirements. So we made the decision to allow him to compete.”

Lynch’s win, timed at an official 2:28:50, is the fastest time run by a professional football player in a triple crown race since former Tennessee Titan Adam “Pacman” Jones ran a 2:28:35 at the 2008 Preakness Stakes (although Jones’ time was later disqualified due to the fact that he was running from federal authorities at the time).

At press time, Lynch himself was unavailable for comment as he was strapped to a feed bag containing five pounds of alfalfa cubes, grain oats, and Tropical Flavor Skittles.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on July 31, 2014, 12:34:35 PM
Bwahahaha!! 



Dry-Cleaning Bill Of $43.08 Sends Peyton Manning Into PTSD Rage (http://profootballmock.com/dry-cleaning-bill-43-08-sends-peyton-manning-ptsd-rage/)


Quote
DENVER – Broncos QB Peyton Manning, during a brief stop yesterday at Stain-B-Gone Dry Cleaners to pick up some freshly laundered dress shirts and slacks, flew into what witnesses described as a, “violently unhinged temper tantrum,” upon learning that the bill for the cleaning service amounted to precisely $43.08, a figure reminiscent of the 43-8 loss his Denver squad suffered at the hands of the Seattle Seahawks in February’s Super Bowl.

“It was crazy,” remarked Stain-B-Gone employee Evelyn Patterson. “I handed him his clothes, told him the bill came out to $43.08, and waited for him to hand me a credit card. Instead, his eye started to twitch, his lip began to curl, and his forehead turned, like, six different shades of red. Next thing I know, he starts howling at the top of his lungs and pounding his fists on the desk. Then he leapt over the counter and began yanking dozens of garments away from the conveyor belt and tearing them in half with his teeth.”

Added Patterson: “All the while, he’s screaming, ‘You goddamn little blue and green shitbirds! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you all!’ It really freaked out the owner of the pet shop next door.”

“Mr Manning’s behavior indicates he’s suffering from a classic case of PTSD, or ‘Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,’” said local clinical psychologist Dr. Suzanne Rosten. “When an individual suffers an awful, traumatizing experience, often the pent=up emotion associated with that experience can come flooding back due to a ‘trigger,’ as was the case with this dry cleaning bill. Normally, we see PTSD in police officers or war veterans, not in people who simply play sports for a living. But then again there was nothing simple about that humiliating beatdown the ‘Hawks hammered down on the Broncos. We should consider ourselves lucky Mr. Manning didn’t go on a cross-country murder spree after an ass-kicking like that.”
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 06, 2014, 09:25:56 AM
They're baaaaa-ack!

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-spent-summer/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 06, 2014, 09:33:14 AM
Quote
TONY ROMO:  OMG, I was rooting for the Viper SO MUCH in his match against The Mountain.

TYRION LANNISTER:  GODDAMMIT, ROMO!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 06, 2014, 12:15:47 PM
They're baaaaa-ack!

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-spent-summer/

Hahahahaha!!! 

So much awesome in this entry, I could just quote the whole thing.  Great way to kick off the season! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on August 06, 2014, 06:06:36 PM
CARSON PALMER
You know, it dawns on me that we didn’t talk very much about, you know, football stuff in this convo.

RGIII
Well, there’s not much for us to talk about, since we didn’t watch any real football this week.

CAM NEWTON
Ooh, ohh. “Things Cleveland Browns fans say every week during the NFL season?”


Sucks to be a Browns fan.  Probably as much as it does to be a Vikings fan ;)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 07, 2014, 01:51:49 AM
Don't make me unleash the pun-ographers, MD.  Gods help me, I *will* do it!  :knuppel2: 
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 11, 2014, 01:26:26 PM
"Hazing the Rookies" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-hazing-rookies/)



Quote

CARSON PALMER Don't worry Brady. Galapagos's hazing is a three-pronged trio of terror.

JIMMY GAROPPOLO Fine, I'm up for a challenge. Lay them on me.

JOSH McCOWN First, you have to beat Rob Gronkowski in three straight games of beer pong.

JIMMY GAROPPOLO I hear he's the master of that game, but sure, I'll give it a try.

JOSH McCOWN Next you have to run a hundred yard dash in 10 seconds, while carrying Vince Wilfork on your shoulders.

JIMMY GAROPPOLO Okie-doke. I'll give it my best shot.

JOSH McCOWN And finally, you have to make Bill Belichick smile.

JIMMY GAROPPOLO IMPOSSIBLE! THAT CAN'T BE DONE!



 ;D

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on August 11, 2014, 11:06:31 PM
Quote
ANDY DALTON Hey, you guys wanna know why I’m feeling pretty good this week?
ANDY DALTON Because THE BENGALS JUST EXTENDED MY CONTRACT BY SIX YEARS!
REST OF AFC NORTH WHOO-HOO! That news makes all of us feel pretty “extended” as well.
BEN ROETHLISBERGER THEY’RE SAYING THAT ANDY DALTON IS SO BAD, THE IDEA OF HIM PLAYING IN CINCINNATI FOR SIX MORE YEARS GIVES THEM ALL ERECTIONS IN THEIR PENISESESESESES.
DREW BREES Ben, you call more than 1 penis, “penises.”
TOM BRADY And you call 53 of them, “The New York Jets.”

 ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 19, 2014, 12:06:46 PM
"Let's Talk Legacy" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-lets-talk-legacy/)




First, kudos to the PFM guys for this tribute to Robin Williams: 

Quote
ANDY DALTON Heaven has a football team?

GHOST OF REGGIE WHITE Yep. Also a comedy club with a pretty great new act.




I think I enjoyed the wrap-up the most, though.  Wilson only gets one line, and it's at the end, but he makes it count!  ;D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 28, 2014, 07:31:53 PM
the Onion gets in on the NFL humor

http://www.theonion.com/articles/vikings-intrigued-by-matt-cassels-ability-to-get-t,36807/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on August 28, 2014, 07:36:25 PM
And now for something a little different......

http://promo.espn.go.com/espn/contests/nissan/heisman/2014/#!/ (http://promo.espn.go.com/espn/contests/nissan/heisman/2014/#!/)

Short clips and most are amusing, at the least  :)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 29, 2014, 08:36:56 PM
the Onion gets in on the NFL humor

http://www.theonion.com/articles/vikings-intrigued-by-matt-cassels-ability-to-get-t,36807/

Ha!  Well until that far-off day we once again have a decent receiver corps, odds are good that's primarily what Cassel will be doing.  :P 



Speaking of the Onion getting in on NFL humor, I winced on Banzai Cat's behalf when I read this one: 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/texans-confident-they-have-right-pieces-in-place-t,36509/

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 29, 2014, 08:43:58 PM
Ha!

Well, I don't pay attention to preseason. The fans and the local sports figures make me cringe, acting like we're a game or two from the Super Bowl. It's PREseason, folks. Not to be taken seriously. Like the movie Iron Sky.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on August 29, 2014, 08:49:57 PM
Martok, they may not be Jerry Rice and John Taylor, but, Percy Harvin and Greg Jennings are pretty good.  And with Norv Turner calling the plays, they should be able to show it.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 30, 2014, 05:30:30 AM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-wanna-bet/   <-- kind of "meh" to me...  nothing jumped out at me in this one

"Let's Talk Legacy" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-lets-talk-legacy/)

Somehow missed this one altogether.  The Robin Williams tribute was nice, but the only really funny part was Russell Wilson's appearance at the very end.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on August 30, 2014, 12:14:00 PM
Martok, they may not be Jerry Rice and John Taylor, but, Percy Harvin and Greg Jennings are pretty good.  And with Norv Turner calling the plays, they should be able to show it.


Percy Harvin is in Seattle, and his porcelain knees will give out around week 4. Cordarelle Patterson is in Minnesota.  :)

Still, they currently have Matt Cassel throwing the ball in their general direction sometimes. Best to keep the hopes in check under those dire circumstances.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 30, 2014, 12:18:27 PM
Martok, they may not be Jerry Rice and John Taylor, but, Percy Harvin and Greg Jennings are pretty good. 

Um, did Harvin defect from the Seahawks when I wasn't looking? 



And with Norv Turner calling the plays, they should be able to show it.

Okay, now I know you're just mocking me.  >:( 





http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-wanna-bet/   <-- kind of "meh" to me...  nothing jumped out at me in this one

Oh, I don't know.  I found the running gag of Brees forced to be Romo's best friend for a year to be pretty funny. 



I was also amused by this bit: 
Quote
MARSHAWN LYNCH BEAST MODE GETTING IN GAME SHAPE FOR NFL REGULAR-SEASON. SPENT SUNDAY MORNING DOING JUMPING JACKS AS PART OF EXERCISE ROUTINE.

ANDY DALTON Jumping jacks? Lynch, by any chance, were you in the central California region at the time?

MARSHAWN LYNCH YES. BEAST MODE APOLOGIZE FOR CAUSING 6.2 BEASTQUAKE THAT DAMAGED PUNY NEW 49ERS STADIUM OF TROUSERS.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on August 30, 2014, 12:19:46 PM
Jets, Bills, Dolphins Merge To Form AFC East Mega-Team In Hopes Of Defeating Patriots (http://profootballmock.com/jets-bills-dolphins-merge-form-afc-east-mega-team-hopes-defeating-patriots/)



Quote
But now, New England will tremble against the combined quarterbacking prowess of Geno Smith, Ryan Tannehill, and E.J. Manuel… hmm, perhaps we haven’t fully thought this plan through.”

 :2funny:

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on August 31, 2014, 05:52:16 PM
Sorry about that Harvin thing.  I meant Patterson.  And I mean that Norv will make it good.  You just play in a division where the other three teams have better overall talent.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on August 31, 2014, 06:51:13 PM
Norv Turner is a moron. 
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on August 31, 2014, 07:16:53 PM
As a head coach?  Absolutely.  But, as an OC, he's pretty boss.  You'll like your offense this year.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on August 31, 2014, 07:28:33 PM
No, because all I will be able to think about is how much I hate Norv Turner and I might as well give up my allegiance to the Vikings and go all in for the Chiefs.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on August 31, 2014, 08:21:06 PM
So now I have to root for the Chiefs to suck?  I like the Chiefs.  Plus, they've won a Super Bowl.  Over the Vikings, as a matter of fact.  Why do you hate the Chiefs enough to root for them?  Please don't.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on August 31, 2014, 08:33:26 PM
I like to reverse bandwagon and jump from rooting for one shitty team to the next.  It keeps my disappointment fresh.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 31, 2014, 08:44:48 PM
Come join us Texans fans! We drinketh deeply of tears that collect in the dissapointment vessel of our team's potential.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on August 31, 2014, 08:48:33 PM
I'm just not sure I'm ready to sink that low yet.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 03, 2014, 10:10:02 AM
Hoenstly, the backups are funnier than the last 3-4 convo's with the starters

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-resting-starters/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 03, 2014, 11:44:12 AM
I don't know if it was any better, but I enjoyed the change of pace.  The "all Steelers quarterbacks throughout history have been dumb" bit was pretty good, as well as Kyle Orton being mocked for signing with the Bills...until he points out he won't have to deal with Jerry Jones.  ;D 



That being said, this part was my favorite: 
Quote
JIMMY GAROPPOLO Say hello to the new SECOND STRINGER in New England. Now, I’m just one Tom Brady STD away from being the Pats starter!

CHASE DANIEL Oh man, I don't envy you Garoppolo.

CHASE DANIEL I hear Bill Belichick requires all his backup quarterbacks to bring snacks to every offensive meeting.

JIMMY GAROPPOLO What kind of snacks? Donuts? Bagels?

CHASE DANIEL Kitten hearts.

T.J. YATES If they're freshly extracted, and still beating, he'll give you an extra 10 reps in practice.

BRUCE GRADKOWSKI BECAUSE BILL BELICHICK DERIVES HIS POWER FROM THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT, YOU SEE.

ROFL!! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 03, 2014, 11:47:51 AM
Also... 



Pope Francis Points To Cleveland Browns As Proof That God Exists, And That He Hates Cleveland (http://profootballmock.com/pope-francis-points-to-cleveland-browns-as-proof-that-god-exists-and-that-he-hates-cleveland/)

Quote

VATICAN CITY, ROME – Speaking to thousands of believers from his balcony at Vatican Square earlier today, Catholic church leader Pope Francis delivered a sermon on the subject of faith versus atheism, during which the Holy Father pointed to the NFL’s Cleveland Browns as, “indisputable evidence that God our Father not only exists, but that he also clearly hates the American city of Cleveland,” according to several witnesses at the scene.

“My children, in today’s secular world, we often hear of those who have lost their way, those who question the very existence of our Creator in Heaven,” said the 77-year old Pontiff. “But today I say unto you: look no further than the wretched Browns of Cleveland for undeniable proof that the Lord truly does exist, and that He, for whatever blessed reason, utterly despises the Browns and their entire metropolitan region.”

His Holiness then continued, “I mean, come on. They’re 77-163 since they returned to the NFL in 1999. Do you know how hard it is to be that consistently bad? And now they’ve lost their only good wideout for the entire season? Not to mention this whole “Manziel” sideshow they now have to deal with for the next decade? Brothers and sisters, there can be no other worldly explanation for such a history of total failure other than a vengeful, angry God.”

Added the Holy Father: “Checkmate, atheists.”

Disbelievers worldwide, however, rejected the Pope’s reasoning.

“We’ve heard all of these ‘Browns versus Evolution’ arguments before,” said David Silverman, president of American Atheists. “Religious folks like Pope Francis would have us believe that an all-seeing, all-knowing, Cleveland-hating deity is the only logical explanation for an NFL team to be as cursed as the Browns. But a basic understanding of scientific principles illustrates that the Browns were not simply created awful. No, they evolved, slowly over time, into their current pathetic state, via years of terrible coaching, drafting and salary cap management.”

“I just don’t understand heathen thinking like that,” said devout Christian Sheila Carmichael, 63, of central Pittsburgh. “I know God exists. I see Him everyday in the simple beauty of a rainbow, in the joy of my grandson’s smile, and in the pleasure I get \ watching the Browns fail in new and hilarious ways, year after year after year. I don’t need proof to have faith in my Lord. Cleveland’s eternal sadness is all the proof I’ll ever need.”

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 10, 2014, 10:06:28 AM
"Kickoff" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-kickoff/)



Hardly the best bit, but this part did garner my first laugh:
Quote
PEYTON MANNING HAHA ANDREW LUCK! I POUNDED YOU LIKE A KARDASHIAN!

PHILIP RIVERS On a pile of money and cocaine?

Yes, I'm a sucker for the easy joke today... 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 10, 2014, 10:56:07 AM
Quote
JAKE LOCKER   You know who doesn’t feel stupid? ME, AFTER COCKSLAPPING ALEX SMITH AND THE CHIEFS YESTERDAY. BOO-YAH!

ALEX SMITH  Enjoy your piddly little triumph, Locker. That lucky-ass victory is probably 50% of the total wins you’re going to get this season anyway.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER  ALEX SMITH IS USING MATH TO COMICALLY PREDICT THAT THE TITANS WILL ONLY WIN THREE GAMES THIS YEAR.

I LOL'ed
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 10, 2014, 12:05:28 PM
and fuck the patriots.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Arctic Blast on September 11, 2014, 01:28:26 PM
Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER SO GO AND BALANCE A BALL ON YOUR NOSE, MAN-SEAL, BECAUSE MY STEELERS DOMINATED YOU!
CARSON PALMER Ben, you understand that Johnny Manziel is not actually a seal, right?
GENO SMITH To be fair, he’s not actually a football player either.

I LOL'd.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 17, 2014, 02:22:48 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-be-very-afraid/

the opening zing is actually pretty good :)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 17, 2014, 02:34:07 PM
This won't mean nearly as much outside of our site...

Quote
E.J. MANUEL   What happened Tannehill? I thought this was going to be your breakout season?

E.J. MANUEL   Instead your performance was so worthless, that if you were a superhero, you’d be Aquaman,

BEN ROETHLISBERGER   BECAUSE AQUAMAN IS THE MOST WORTHLESS HERO OF ALL.

(http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 17, 2014, 02:39:10 PM
Quote
REFS FROM THE CHARGERS GAME   No, we reviewed it. The comment seems totally in bounds to us.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 17, 2014, 03:38:52 PM
ROMO CONVERSION... LOL  :2funny:
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 17, 2014, 04:07:35 PM
^  Agreed, the Romo/Drees conversion was damn amusing. 




I also cracked up at this bit: 

Quote
MATT RYAN DALTON, I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE SIDEWAYS!

COLIN KAEPERNICK There’s no way you can fit an entire penis into one single nostril.

SAM BRADFORD Not with that attitude.
:2funny:




This won't mean nearly as much outside of our site...

Quote
E.J. MANUEL   What happened Tannehill? I thought this was going to be your breakout season?

E.J. MANUEL   Instead your performance was so worthless, that if you were a superhero, you’d be Aquaman,

BEN ROETHLISBERGER   BECAUSE AQUAMAN IS THE MOST WORTHLESS HERO OF ALL.

(http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif) (http://bayonetgames.com/blogart/roflmao.gif)

Ha!  Yeah, I got an especially good chuckle out of that as well. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on September 17, 2014, 07:52:50 PM
It's like they read this place or something.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 18, 2014, 07:08:11 AM
I had told the guy that writes the column about us (I told him how I heard about his site, which was through here), when I had posted a comment to the thread about a typo. He actually wrote me back and thanked me at length for the feedback - nice guy. I doubt he mines us for comedy material, though it would behoove him to try. :)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on September 18, 2014, 07:58:19 PM
Well, he couldn't have written a more fitting tribute to the inmates that inhabit this asylum.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 21, 2014, 01:00:08 PM
we are a beacon of light amongst the wasteland that is the internet!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 24, 2014, 02:53:39 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-tl-dr/

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER     OUR OUTSTANDING RUNNING GUYS, “THE VEON BELL” AND “THE GARRETTE BLOUNT,” TRULY CARRIED US TO VICTORY.

MATT RYAN      You mean LeVeon Bell and LeGarrette Blount?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER     I WAS TRANSLATING FROM THEIR NATIVE FRENCH.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 25, 2014, 10:49:13 PM
that was about as meh as this season so far.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 27, 2014, 10:16:21 PM
that was about as meh as this season so far.

Agreed.  There were still some funny moments, but overall I'd say this was easily their weakest one of the season thus far. 




On another note, PFM decided to rip open old wounds on every Vikings fan from the last 25 years (http://profootballmock.com/dallas-cowboys-ship-four-high-draft-picks-to-vikings-as-part-of-long-awaited-2nd-half-of-herschel-walker-trade/)... 

Quote
Dallas Cowboys Ship Four High Draft Picks To Vikings As Part Of Long-Awaited 2nd Half Of Herschel Walker Trade


MINNEAPOLIS – The Minnesota Vikings announced today that they have triggered the long-awaited “part two” option of the infamous 1989 Herschel Walker trade, and as a result the Dallas Cowboys must now give the Vikings their first and second round picks in next May’s NFL draft, as well as a first and third round pick in the 2016 draft, sources close to the Vikings confirmed today.

“We’ve informed the commissioner’s office that we are exercising the send half trigger on the Herschel Walker trade,” said Vikings G.M. Rick Spielman. “We’re very excited to have four high draft choices, including two first rounders, coming our way during the next two drafts with which to rebuild our team’s talent base.”

Reporters at the press conference expressed surprise that the quarter-century old trade had not yet been fully consummated already.

“Wait, you mean that for all these years, you guys have been thinking that we gave Dallas three first round picks, a bunch of second and third round picks, PLUS several starting caliber players, all to get just one guy?” said Spielman.  “Jesus, you all must have thought we were morons.”

“No, what happened was, back in ’89 (former Vikings General Manager) Mike Lynn agreed to give all those picks and players to the Cowboys in exchange for Herschel Walker, but naturally he insisted that Dallas throw a provision into the deal for us to get ‘several high draft choices to be named later.’ Well it’s twenty-five years later, and we’re ready to name those picks.”

“Obviously, we’re disappointed to lose these draft selections to the Vikings, but a deal is a deal,” a disheartened Jerry Jones told reporters. “To tell you the truth, I’d completely forgotten that we’d added that ‘delayed gratification’ clause to the original trade. But it’s standard language for an NFL transaction. For example, back in 2008 I acquired Roy Williams from Detroit in exchange for a first, third and sixth round pick that year. But I also agreed to give them our first round picks for 2017, ’18, and ’19, so eventually we’ll have to… oh god,” moaned the Cowboys owner before burying his head in his hands and weeping softly.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on September 30, 2014, 04:44:12 AM
“INSTANT SCARMA” (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-instant-scarma/)



Definitely better than last week.  This one had lots of good bits IMO (although I can't deny this one stung a little): 

Quote
ELI MANNING Wow, so the Ravens are actually pretty good this season huh?

COLIN KAEPERNICK Yep. And just imagine how much better they might be if they hadn’t lost their star RB to a scandal.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS FANS Yes. Just imagine.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 30, 2014, 04:59:22 AM
LOL @ "London Jaguars"...
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 30, 2014, 11:37:25 PM
thats disrespecting the London Dolphins!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 06, 2014, 07:49:17 PM
"Milestoned" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-milestoned/)



Not as good as last week's IMO, but still pretty funny.  Roethlisberger had me chuckling more than normal. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 14, 2014, 12:43:37 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-looney-tunes/

Katy Perry shows up, but Ben has the best line in a while...

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER   IF YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE THEN IT ISN’T FUNNY, ANDREW LUCK.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 14, 2014, 01:10:30 PM
There were several LOL moments in that one. The Def Leppard reference made me laugh, I admit.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 14, 2014, 01:43:59 PM
LOL.  Yeah, I found this one to be pretty good. 



Quote
BROWNS FANS What… what is this weird feeling we have right now?

BRIAN HOYER It’s called “Pride.”

BROWNS FANS WELL IT’S TOTALLY CREEPING US OUT.

 :2funny:

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 20, 2014, 02:59:46 PM
"Opposite Day" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-opposite-day-14/)


I'd say this is one of their weaker efforts this season, although I respect they seem to be trying to make this a yearly "thing".  Also, Wilson starting to lose his "trolljo" is pretty entertaining. 




Quote
DeMARCO MURRAY CLEARLY, I AM THE GREATEST RUNNING BACK IN DALLAS COWBOYS HISTORY!

EMMITT SMITH Now wait just a minute here…

NICK FOLES YOU SEE? YOU SEE? IT’S OPPOSITE DAY!

TOM BRADY How is that opposite day? DeMarco Murray always gains 100 yards.

NICK FOLES Yes, but he didn’t fumble this week.

TOM BRADY Okay, that is kind of weird. Still, does it really qualify as an opposite day event…

NICK FOLES And the Cowboys home crowd actually cheered. Loudly. FOR THE COWBOYS!

RYAN TANNEHILL Whoa. OPPOSITE DAY IS REAL!


Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on October 28, 2014, 09:05:55 AM
In related news, I got a chuckle out of today's ProFootballTalk when they listed this weeks current Power Rankings. Here is the bottom of the list with their commentary:

28. Tennessee Titans (No. 28; 2-6):  Somewhere, Mike Munchak is cackling.

29. Jacksonville Jaguars (No. 30; 1-7):  Somewhere, Mike Mularkey is cackling.

30. New York Jets (No. 26; 1-7):  Somewhere, Rich Kotite is cackling.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (No. 31; 1-6):  Somewhere, Greg Schiano is cackling.

32. Oakland Raiders (No. 32; 0-7):  Somewhere, Dennis Allen, Hue Jackson, Tom Cable, Lane Kiffin, Art Shell, Norv Turner, and Bill Callahan are cackling.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 28, 2014, 09:21:41 AM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-halloweird/

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER     FIVE TOUCHDOWNS IS VERY GOOD, TOM BRADY. IN FACT, THAT IS ONLY 2 LESS THAN THE SIX I THREW YESTERDAY.

Quote
  BEN ROETHLISBERGER   I FOOTBALLED GOOD.

TONY ROMO   That’s unbelievable Ben. How’d you manage that?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER   SIMPLE. COACH TODD HALEY TOLD ME TO EXPLOIT THE UNDERNEATH ZONES IN THE COLTS BASE 3-4 SCHEME, THEN UTILIZE A MIXTURE OF SHORT SLANT PATTERNS AND PLAY ACTION BOMBS TO KEEP THEIR SAFETIES OFF-BALANCE.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER       BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THAT MEANT SO HE JUST TOLD ME TO AIM FOR THE BUMBLEBEES INSTEAD.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Steelgrave on October 28, 2014, 11:30:21 AM
"Aim for the Bumblebees" LMAO!!!   ;D
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Bison on October 28, 2014, 03:03:08 PM
If I was the Steelers ownership, I'd make them wear those uniforms every week until they lose.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on October 29, 2014, 06:32:12 AM
Ha!  This newest episode pretty much confirms Russell Wilson as being one of my favorites on there. 



Quote
AARON RODGERS THIS IS AWFUL. IT’S TERRIBLE! WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL WINNING STREAK THAT WAS SNAPPPED BY A FRUSTRATING LOSS!

RUSSELL WILSON Just like us. Only in reverse.

RUSSELL WILSON Ahh. It’s like getting back on a bike

 ;D

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 02, 2014, 09:21:44 PM
only 2 more F1 races this season.  :'(
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 04, 2014, 04:17:28 AM
They're channeling their inner Starry

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-flowers-ben/

Quote
TEDDY BRIDGEWATER   HOW DARE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE CORRECT MY GRAMMER! THEIRS NOT A QB ALIVE WITH LESS WORKING BRAIN CELLS THEN YOU!

Honestly, it's a solid filler track.  It's "Think About You" from side 2 of Appetite for Destruction: you don't skip it when the CD is playing, but you don't go out of your way to put that track on a mix tape (or a playlist for you under-40s out there).
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 04, 2014, 06:18:47 AM
Heh; loved the title this week.  Watching Ben and Teddy go back & forth was pretty funny. 




This running joke got old by the time Mark Sanchez entered the conversation, but I respect the writers' commitment to it: 

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER Precisely. Brandon Weeden is the superfluous nipple of the Dallas Cowboys offense.

JASON GARRETT Well, get used to it. Because Weeden may have to start again for us next week.

DEZ BRYANT (Trembles fearfully)

JERRY JONES (Makes whimpering noises)

COWBOYS FANS (Vacate bowels)

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on November 04, 2014, 06:02:29 PM
Even taken completely out of context, the last line is the best line:


BEN ROETHLISBERGER  I FORGOT HOW TO SMART
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on November 08, 2014, 12:48:36 AM
thats pretty much our governments motto at this point.  :-\
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 08, 2014, 02:06:24 PM
No, Ben has more self-awareness than that. 
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 11, 2014, 12:12:48 AM
"THAT'S ADORABLE" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-adorable/)




Aside from the bit about Tom Brady having sex with the first Queen Elizabeth (no, it doesn't really make sense even in context), this felt like one of their better efforts.  I enjoyed the running gag of Big Ben constantly mismatching major cities and their nicknames. 

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER THEY SAY YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MORE WRETCHED HIVE OF SCUM AND VILLAINY THAN OAKLAND.

RGIII You’re thinking of Mos Eisley Spaceport, Ben.

COLIN KAEPERNICK Actually no, it applies to Oakland as well.



And of course, this part couldn't fail to crack me up: 

Quote
WILLIAM SHATNER Man, what a ham that guy is.

 ;D

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 11, 2014, 04:53:56 AM
not bad, but I did't LOL at this like I have at a lot of others
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 18, 2014, 07:44:40 AM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebookablast/

Quote
JAY CUTLER     Well I have to say, after a week of being criticized and mocked by every dickhole in the sporting universe, getting my team back on the winning track feels so, so… ah, fuck it, I don’t really give a shit either way



Quote
DREW STANTON     Detroit WISHES it had a top notch QB like me.
DETROIT LIONS     We did have you. Back in 2008. We were 0-16 and you contributed to many of our losses.


once the inevitable Aaron Rodgers jokes start, there's too much to post here.  But it's almost like these guys are channeling Star and Mirth as Rodgers and Brady
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 18, 2014, 08:21:40 AM
I enjoyed this one, if for no other reason than that it allowed Sam Bradford and gay jokes involving Aaron Rodgers to feature prominently: 


Quote
PEYTON MANNING Oh, there’s no point in getting mad. Since this was OBVIOUSLY “ASSBLAST WEEK.”

JOE FLACCO Um… come again?

SAM BRADFORD Oh, I simply couldn’t. Seven times in one hour is my limit.
Quote
SHAUN HILL FACE IT MANNING, YOU GOT RAM-SHACKLED YESTERDAY BY A MIGHTY RAMS TEAM THAT FINALLY HAD THEIR MOST TALENTED QB HEALTHY AND LEADING THEM TO VICTORY.

RYAN TANNEHILL “Most talented QB?” I thought that was Sam Bradford

SHAUN HILL COME AGAIN?

SAM BRADFORD Okay, if you insist. NNNGGHHHHHHHH.


 :2funny:

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 18, 2014, 08:23:22 AM
NBC Ratings Executive Has That “Cardinals-Browns Super Bowl” Nightmare Again (http://profootballmock.com/nbc-ratings-executive-has-that-cardinals-browns-super-bowl-nightmare-again/)

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on November 25, 2014, 12:18:55 PM
"F-GIVING" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-f-giving/)


It started strong, but it began to fizzle towards the end.  Still not bad, though. 




Quote
MATT STAFFORD BOOOOOO! That loss knocked us out of first place in the NFC North
#KindOfSurprisedItTookThisLongActually


Quote
AARON RODGERS And now, finally, I have assumed my rightful spot AT THE TOP OF THE DIVISION!

AARON RODGERS THE KING OF THE NORTH! THE KING OF THE NORTH!

ROBB STARK That might not be the safest title to dub yourself.
;D

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 02, 2014, 02:40:56 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-word-from-our-sponsor-14/


Quote
AARON RODGERS     YOU WISH, BUTT-CHIN. THERE IS NO QB HOTTER THAN ME RIGHT NOW.
AARON RODGERS     In fact, you could say that I’m downright FLAMING!

The NFL family and the Eagles joke is great, too, but it takes so long to set up it's not worth copying here.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 09, 2014, 07:50:57 AM
they're baaaa-aaack!

Quote
RYAN FITZPATRICK     Kobe Bryant is the L.A. Laker who doesn’t know how to pass.
WASHINGTON REDSKINS      (immediately signs Kobe Bryant as new QB)

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-fantasy-playoffs/

Quote
CAM NEWTON       DAMMIT, MARK SANCHEZ. I KNEW STARTING YOU IN MY FANTASY PLAYOFFS WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.
TOM BRADY       I think just having Mark Sanchez on your roster is a huge mistake.
JOE FLACCO       Seriously. Who would ever think to themselves, “Boy Mark Sanchez would really upgrade me at QB right now?”
REX RYAN       You’d be surprised.

Quote
AARON RODGERS      hile, that loss to Oakland means that the 49ers’ playoff chances just went tits up like a female poodle in Michael Vick’s house
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 10, 2014, 02:45:41 PM
 :2funny:



Quote
DREW STANTON HAHA THE 49ers SEASON IS PRETTY MUCH OVER NOW!

JIM HARBAUGH OVER? NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE SAY IT IS.

JIM HARBAUGH WAS IT OVER WHEN THE GERMANS BOMBED PEARL HARBOR?

JIM HARBAUGH  Germans?

JOHN BELUSHI Forget it, he’s on a roll.

EVERY PFM READER UNDER 25 Who the hell is John Belushi?

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 10, 2014, 03:54:21 PM
[nerd] Incorrect movie quotation. The CORRECT quote there near the end is, "Forget it, he's rolling."[/nerd]

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 16, 2014, 06:18:41 AM
not bad; not great

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-convo-ful-life/


Quote
MATT RYAN     A moron, a rapist, and a Pittsburgh Steeler walk into a bar. He sits down and says, “Hi I’m Ben may I have a drink please?”
BEN ROETHLISBERGER     I DON’T GET IT.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 16, 2014, 01:59:50 PM
They could've done without the Manziel/It's a Wonderful Life running gag.  It would've been more entertaining (and not so bloody long) if they'd cut that part out. 



This part did make me "LOL", however: 

Quote
KYLE ORTON Did you really think it was necessary to explain that stupid Twitter joke Stafford?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUDER IN MY LIFE.


 :2funny:

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 23, 2014, 08:45:28 AM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-riddle-me-this/

The Andrew Luck (wink) bit was actually a pretty good opening...

Quote
PHILIP RIVERS     I, on the other hand, threw four MAGNIFICENT touchdowns in a win over San Fran that not only has me in line for an AFC Wild Card berth, but also CRUSHED Colin Kaepernick’s postseason dreams.

COLIN KAEPERNICK     JOKE’S ON YOU RIVERS. My 49ers were already eliminated last week, so I couldn’t give two shits.

PHILIP RIVERS      Oh no Kaepernick, not the 49ers, you tiny-sacked turtle felcher. My victory KNOCKED YOUR PRECIOUS DOLPHINS OUT OF PLAYOFF ELIGIBILITY. HAHAHA.

COLIN KAEPERNICK     WHAT?! GODDAMMIT RIVERS, I WILL TEAR YOUR UGLY FACE CLEAN OFF YOUR SKULL AND SCOTCH TAPE IT BACK ON UPSIDE DOWN.


Quote
ALEX SMITH     Marry, fuck, and kill: Andy Dalton, Tom Brady, and Peyton Manning?

PEYTON MANNING     THAT’S A STUPID RIDDLE. WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO MARRY PEYTON GODDAMN MANNING?

RUSSELL WILSON     Well, we refused to put a ring on him last February.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on December 29, 2014, 05:33:42 AM
Yeah, Rivers taunting Kaepernick over eliminating the Dolphins was pretty funny. 



Also (with apologies to Gus): 

Quote
TOM BRADY If Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Geno Smith were all to compete in a race, who would win?

DEREK CARR I’ve heard this one before. The answer is Geno Smith, because none of the other three actually exis...

TOM BRADY WRONG. THE ANSWER IS TOM BRADY, BECAUSE FUCK THE JETS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

For me, at least, some jokes just never get old.  ;D 




And while my own quarterback was included in the mocking, I still couldn't help but laugh at this one: 

Quote
ALEX SMITH I’ve spent time around Cam Newton, Teddy Bridgewater, and RGIII, so I can assure you that not all African-American girls talk that way.

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 31, 2014, 12:39:33 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-da-real-mvp/

Quote
BEN ROETHLISBERGER    LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH, WINNING THIS GAME KIND OF MAKES IT FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS IN DECEMBER!

Quote
RANDALL COBB    Just to be clear, he means that we were playing football. Normal, platonic, completely heterosexual football.

Quote
TONY ROMO    Rivers, your team is obviously trying to get you pregnant since they refuse to provide you with any protection.

Quote
J,J, WATT    This season, I caught 3 TD passes, forced 4 fumbles, had an 80-yard pick-6, AND registered 20.5 sacks!
GENO SMITH     How do you get .5 of a sack?
LANCE ARMSTRONG         Testicular cancer
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 02, 2015, 01:16:31 PM
I'll not deny I'm continuing to enjoy the Rodgers gay jokes.  ;D 
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on January 02, 2015, 04:39:38 PM
Me, too.  I just hate it for Olivia Munn.  I'd be GLAD to take her off his hands and show her a hetero time ;)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 04, 2015, 10:11:01 PM
I'd be GLAD to take her off his hands and show her a hetero time ;)

 :o :o :o

'Geek!!  We need to do an intervention pronto!!! 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on January 05, 2015, 05:04:24 AM
For WHAT?!?!  Wanting to bang Olivia Munn?
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 05, 2015, 10:34:49 AM
No, that's an entirely normal and healthy impulse. 

The reason for my concern was I thought you were making a stealth pun.  Apparently I was mistaken, for which I am immensely relieved.  :knuppel2: 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 05, 2015, 10:49:47 AM
Way to tiptoe around the issue, guys.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on January 05, 2015, 04:54:57 PM
I see what you mean now, Martok.  It would have been stealth if I had substituted Rodgers name for Munn.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 06, 2015, 05:09:55 AM
"MILD CARDS" (http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-mild-cards/)



Lots of good punchlines/one-liners this week: 

Quote
COLIN KAEPERNICK HOLY CRAP, DID SUGGS CATCH THAT BALL WITH HIS CROTCH?

ALEX SMITH Yep. It was a dick pick.
    BRETT FAVRE likes this

Quote
RYAN TANNEHILL What happened to that supposedly magnificent Cowboys O-line?

PEYTON MANNING No kidding. Jack Ruby was better protected in Dallas than Romo was yesterday

Quote
CAM NEWTON Suck to be you, Ryan Lindley. YOUR TEAM GOT ELIMINATED FROM THE PLAYOFFS QUICKER THAN THE BLACK GUY IN A SLASHER FILM!

Quote
RYAN TANNEHILL Good God Dalton. You’re about as accurate as a drunken Stormtrooper.


The running gag with the refs was predictable.  I found The Ground being a part of the convo to be far more amusing. 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 06, 2015, 02:35:06 PM
the deer in the headlights was my favorite recent convo-crasher


that was one of the funniest ones they've done in a while, too...  a solid B+, maybe a little better
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 07, 2015, 07:42:39 AM
the blast from the past - here's the first one...  and Russell Wilson was in fine form even at the start
http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-talkin-on-facebook/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 07, 2015, 04:22:49 PM
Nice!  I don't I'd ever read the first one before.  Thanks for sharing chief. 
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 08, 2015, 08:15:21 AM
http://profootballmock.com/pete-carroll-theres-no-way-reigning-super-bowl-champs-defeated-playoffs-team-losing-record-right/

you read the comments and realize that TDB isn't the only site that people don't realize is satire
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 08, 2015, 12:38:47 PM
Yeah, I noticed that as well.  You gotta wonder about some people.  ::) 




Incidentally, poor Gus: 

New York Jets Somehow Eliminated From Next Year’s Playoffs Already (http://profootballmock.com/new-york-jets-somehow-eliminated-next-years-playoffs-already/)




And PFM seems to make fun of Belichick being evil just about every week.  Never gets old for me! 

Bill Belichick Accepts Long Standing Invitation To Join Legion of Doom (http://profootballmock.com/bill-belichick-accepts-long-standing-invitation-join-legion-doom/)

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 12, 2015, 02:45:12 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-division-by-zeroes/

Quote
KARMA     Yep. Plus I had twenty bucks on the Packers.


Quote
MONTH OF DECEMBER     Sure, it took a little longer than expected, but let the record show that you lost on DECEMBER 42nd! HAHAHAHA.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 12, 2015, 03:20:42 PM
Quote
CAM NEWTON DAMMIT MIKE TOLBERT, YOU COULDN’T CATCH GONORRHEA IN A HOT TUB FULL OF KARDASHIANS!

RICHARD SHERMAN
FACE IT NEWTON: You got murdered like a main character on “Game of Thrones.”



I also enjoyed the slam against Peyton at the end.  ;D 

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on January 12, 2015, 05:22:23 PM
PFM should have a GREAT Facebook convo next week!  Wilson v. Rodgers and Luck v. Brady?  That's some good stuff right there.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 19, 2015, 07:25:44 PM
http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-championships-giggles/

Quote
AARON RODGERS    WHAT WAS THAT? I DIDN’T CATCH THAT?
CAM NEWTON     Ooh, ooh. “Things Brandon Bostick says when trying to grab an onside kick?”
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on January 19, 2015, 07:51:14 PM
That was one of the best episodes in a quite a while.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 20, 2015, 11:22:55 AM
Not PFM, but still really f'n' funny :))

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nfl-investigating-whether-patriots-played-game-wit,37805/

Quote
NFL Investigating Whether Patriots Played Game With Properly Inflated Vince Wilfork

(http://o.onionstatic.com/images/28/28433/original/700.hq.jpg?1486)
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on January 26, 2015, 06:30:00 PM
meh - I was underwhelmed today.

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-meanwhile-alternate-universe/

clearly they're stuck for news this week, too.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on January 26, 2015, 06:54:08 PM
Read that off Marty's link in another thread.  Not a very good effort this week.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on January 27, 2015, 03:45:30 AM
I agree it wasn't their best effort. 

However, I will admit that even though it was predictable, I chuckled at Bridgewater and Roethlisberger switching roles.  Also, Rodgers trolling Wilson at the end was damn funny. 




http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-championships-giggles/

Quote
AARON RODGERS    WHAT WAS THAT? I DIDN’T CATCH THAT?
CAM NEWTON     Ooh, ooh. “Things Brandon Bostick says when trying to grab an onside kick?”

Yeah, that one was pretty epic. 


Quote
MIKE McCARTHY DAMMIT, BOSTICK! YOU COULDN’T CATCH AN STD IN SAM BRADFORD’S UNDERWEAR DRAWER!

 :D




We also have an "intercepted text" conversation between Brady and Commissioner Goodell.  Talk about your Cool and Unusual Punishment!  :P 

http://profootballmock.com/iphone-text/intercepted-text-roger-goodell-tom-brady-discuss-deflate-gate/

Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 02, 2015, 01:37:52 PM
totally worth reading

http://profootballmock.com/iphone-text/intercepted-text-aaron-rodgers-and-russell-wilson/
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on February 02, 2015, 04:57:00 PM
The final Facebook convo for the year.

http://profootballmock.com/facebookchat/nfl-qbs-facebook-goodbye-farewell-amen/


Just had a chance to read this.  There's a lot of good stuff in it.  And there is a HUGE surprise at the end.  So be sure to scroll down after Roethlisberger has the last say.
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 02, 2015, 06:04:05 PM
Quote
MARSHAWN LYNCH WHITE HAIRED, GUM CHEWING, LESBIAN GRANDMA COACH NOT MAKING ANY SENSE.

HAHAHAHAHAhahahaha!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on February 02, 2015, 06:57:20 PM
The first part of that whole Lynch/Carroll exchange is REALLY funny!
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 02, 2015, 07:11:41 PM
Quote
THE DANCING SHARKS BEHIND KATY PERRY

We would’ve called an off-tackle power run. You know. Just for the halibut.

 :2funny:
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: MetalDog on February 02, 2015, 07:14:55 PM
Worst part of the whole thing.  :(
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 02, 2015, 08:06:17 PM
BWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA   :2funny:
Title: Re: NFL QB's on Facebook
Post by: Martok on February 13, 2015, 01:55:39 PM
Even though they've not been the greatest this last season, I'm still gonna miss them.  :(