GrogHeads Forum

IRL (In Real Life) => Enigmas of the Mystical => Topic started by: besilarius on September 18, 2015, 05:50:21 AM

Title: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on September 18, 2015, 05:50:21 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3237813/Florida-woman-arrested-500-weapons-fake-body-parts-mobile-home-including-machete-used-attack-police-officer.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Nefaro on September 18, 2015, 08:50:50 AM
"Ohhh sweet Satan!  Thank you for your gift of arts & crafts!"

(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/17/03/2C65DDD200000578-3237813-image-a-79_1442458422867.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on September 18, 2015, 09:13:02 AM
Thank God she got all those dangerous and perverted objects off the street and out of the hands of someone not mentally stable. And on a related note, looks like I'll know where to go Yard-Sale Shopping.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on September 18, 2015, 12:09:46 PM
Huh. And she looks so normal.  ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: panzerde on September 18, 2015, 03:47:14 PM
It's always good to get a reminder that what I think was a bad week wasn't so bad in comparison.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on September 18, 2015, 04:20:11 PM
It's always good to get a reminder that what I think was a bad week wasn't so bad in comparison.

They put the straight jacket on too tight for the week?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: panzerde on September 18, 2015, 04:20:55 PM
Had my underwear on backwards the whole time.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: GDS_Starfury on September 19, 2015, 09:34:00 AM
you wear underwear?  ???
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: panzerde on September 19, 2015, 10:29:39 AM
Damn, I guess that was the root problem then!  :tickedoff:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on September 22, 2015, 11:22:38 AM
If it's good enough for Fark, it's good enough for Grogheads!


...uh, I mean Florida having its own thread / tag. Not... whatever underwear sidequest y'all are getting off on.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on October 05, 2015, 04:21:10 PM
Oh, dear.

Quote
Two years ago, Augustus Sol Invictus walked from central Florida to the Mojave Desert and spent a week fasting and praying, at times thinking he wouldn't survive. In a pagan ritual to give thanks when he returned home, he killed a goat and drank its blood.

Now that he's a candidate for U.S. Senate, the story is coming back to bite him.

The chairman of the Libertarian Party of Florida has resigned to call attention to Invictus' candidacy in hopes that other party leaders will denounce him. Adrian Wyllie, who was the Libertarian candidate for governor last year, says Invictus wants to lead a civil war, is trying to recruit neo-Nazis to the party and brutally and sadistically dismembered a goat.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2015/10/05/florida-senate-candidate-sacrificed-goat-drank-blood/?intcmp=hpbt4
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Nefaro on October 05, 2015, 06:41:23 PM
Oh, dear.

Quote
Two years ago, Augustus Sol Invictus walked from central Florida to the Mojave Desert and spent a week fasting and praying, at times thinking he wouldn't survive. In a pagan ritual to give thanks when he returned home, he killed a goat and drank its blood.

Now that he's a candidate for U.S. Senate, the story is coming back to bite him.

The chairman of the Libertarian Party of Florida has resigned to call attention to Invictus' candidacy in hopes that other party leaders will denounce him. Adrian Wyllie, who was the Libertarian candidate for governor last year, says Invictus wants to lead a civil war, is trying to recruit neo-Nazis to the party and brutally and sadistically dismembered a goat.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2015/10/05/florida-senate-candidate-sacrificed-goat-drank-blood/?intcmp=hpbt4


I politically lean Libertarian more than anything, but the American Libertarian party is a joke.  It's full of Isolationists and other assorted nutjobs.  This article certainly doesn't refute that, either.  :( 
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on October 05, 2015, 07:27:35 PM
Wasn't there a poster over at the WG called Sol Invictus?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on October 05, 2015, 07:30:10 PM
Now that you mention it, I think there was.

I wondered why that sounded familiar.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on October 05, 2015, 08:40:15 PM
Sol Invictus was a Roman Legion-favored deity worshiped by soldiers, much in the way Mithras was also favored as a martial god.

Sol Invictus was also a UK band that was controversial because it's founder had been part of the National Front. He later renounced any interest in the Front.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 05, 2015, 09:35:28 PM
That guy's just weird. I mean killing a goat to drink it's blood and not eating the gizzards is a waste of the best goat-part.  :idiot2: Every REAL Floridian knows that. Must have been a Yankee.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: MetalDog on October 05, 2015, 10:32:26 PM
That guy's just weird. I mean killing a goat to drink it's blood and not eating the gizzards is a waste of the best goat-part.  :idiot2: Every REAL Floridian knows that. Must have been a Yankee.

Your people must be from Arcadia then, Slash?  Immokalee, maybe?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on October 06, 2015, 07:57:47 AM
That guy's just weird. I mean killing a goat to drink it's blood and not eating the gizzards intestines is a waste of the best goat-part.  :idiot2: Every REAL Floridian knows that. Must have been a Yankee.

It's funnier when it's true.  >:D
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 06, 2015, 08:58:17 AM
We don't say, "Arcadia" here in Arcadia. We say Desoto County. Arcadia's gotten a bad rep. for having a "Rodeo" every year, you don't have to recycle your garbage, and you can park a pick-up truck in your front driveway, like I do, without being labeled a villain. Too much. Clearly we're still living in the 18th century. You can also have a real gun, carry it, and even get married to it in some local churches. And eat everything that has a Gizzard or something close to it. Possums are the easiest to cook because you can just hang them by their tail over the fire. With a potatoe in their mouth.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on October 06, 2015, 09:24:11 AM
Sounds grand!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on October 06, 2015, 02:59:52 PM
Incidentally, my Grandad (on my Dad's side) homesteaded that little penninsula in Tampa Bay where the metro airport now is -- they sold their land to the airport.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 06, 2015, 05:37:36 PM
They should've named the place after him then. Only fair.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on October 07, 2015, 06:26:04 AM
They should've named the place after him then. Only fair.

No kidding!  I hope that he made a bundle.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 09, 2015, 08:54:25 AM
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/homeless-florida-man-brings-skull-grocery-store-article-1.2390592?cid=bitly
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 09, 2015, 09:22:19 AM
That'll get you in trouble in Publix everytime. You can't bring a human skull into the stores. They want you to buy their brand of skulls instead. Store policy.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on October 09, 2015, 06:35:39 PM
That's using your brain.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Freyland on October 09, 2015, 08:27:02 PM
All he needed to do was flip the skull upside down and claim it was just a Goblet from which to drink his fallen enemies' tears, and everyone would have been happy.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Nefaro on October 10, 2015, 06:01:47 PM
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/homeless-florida-man-brings-skull-grocery-store-article-1.2390592?cid=bitly



Quote
“He was using it as a puppet," witness Nick Pecoraro told WPBF News. "It smelled like death.”



(http://ford-life.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/focus-doug-lebanon-ford-2-copy.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on October 12, 2015, 11:38:07 AM
They should've named the place after him then. Only fair.

No kidding!  I hope that he made a bundle.

Apparently not, though I don't know why. It was a different time I expect.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 16, 2015, 10:54:26 AM
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ap-sex-delays-fla-couple-surrender-20151016-story.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on October 16, 2015, 11:03:27 AM
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ap-sex-delays-fla-couple-surrender-20151016-story.html

(http://www.wwaytv3.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/LeanneHunn_RyanBautista.jpg)

HA! Now the image is seared into YOUR heads too!  >:D
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on October 16, 2015, 11:28:28 AM
(http://i351.photobucket.com/albums/q446/Wyld_stallyon/GIFs/Disgust.gif)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on October 16, 2015, 12:35:25 PM
http://www.cnet.com/news/woman-livestreams-drunk-driving/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on October 16, 2015, 12:38:40 PM
http://www.cnet.com/news/woman-livestreams-drunk-driving/

She's cute.  You should have told her to drive up to your place!  Unfortunately she'd be sober by the time she got there.  :(
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on October 16, 2015, 03:50:51 PM
http://www.cnet.com/news/woman-livestreams-drunk-driving/

She's cute.  You should have told her to drive up to your place!  Unfortunately she'd be sober by the time she got there.  :(

I'd ask her to stop off at the liquor store in Portsmouth. We Mainers love cheap New Hampshire booze.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on October 16, 2015, 04:43:06 PM
http://www.cnet.com/news/woman-livestreams-drunk-driving/

She's cute.  You should have told her to drive up to your place!  Unfortunately she'd be sober by the time she got there.  :(

I'd ask her to stop off at the liquor store in Portsmouth. We Mainers love cheap New Hampshire booze.

Massachusetts, too. One of the perks living five minutes from the border.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 17, 2015, 08:50:48 AM
NO NO NO. We keep women like that.... In State. Thank you.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on October 19, 2015, 06:53:19 AM
http://www.cnet.com/news/woman-livestreams-drunk-driving/

She's cute.  You should have told her to drive up to your place!  Unfortunately she'd be sober by the time she got there.  :(

I'd ask her to stop off at the liquor store in Portsmouth. We Mainers love cheap New Hampshire booze.

That store is a favourite tourist destination for Atlantic Canadians since the invention of the auto mobile!!  Even the roundabout is not off-putting!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on October 31, 2015, 10:41:47 AM
It would appear as though Star went out for a romantic dinner at Johnny Rockets the other night.

Quote
Police have arrested a woman who they say lay naked on a table at a South Beach diner and poured ketchup on herself.

Witnesses told Miami Beach police a topless Angelic Valle turned over tables and chairs at Johnny Rockets earlier this month, then removed the bottom of her bikini before climbing on the table and pouring the ketchup on herself.

Onlookers said she then began to perform a kind of dance while she still lay prone on the table.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/10/31/police-woman-stripped-poured-ketchup-on-herself-at-restaurant/?intcmp=hplnws
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 31, 2015, 12:07:05 PM
I always thought Cocktail Sauce went better with it myself. But that's just me. The brave male patrons encircled her and waited for the police--- their civic duty.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on November 02, 2015, 07:08:18 AM
Ketchup, cocktail sauce, either way I'm good.   >:D

(http://sotomayortv.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Angelic-Valle-Mugshot-Scene-jpg-1440x564_c.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on November 09, 2015, 08:00:41 PM
http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2015/11/9/1447570/-Florida-deputy-showed-up-staggeringly-drunk-to-get-an-award-from-Mothers-Against-Drunk-Driving?detail=facebook

Couth control at work.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on November 09, 2015, 09:56:48 PM
Define, "Staggeringly". I mean if you're too drunk to walk that's why you should drive instead. Public Safety issue.  :P
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on November 10, 2015, 05:36:36 AM
Well, he must have been doing it right, they promoted him to detective.
God love Florida.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on November 10, 2015, 08:08:03 AM
So he can lead the investigation into his own behavior. :uglystupid2:  Sounds like he should be working for the State Dept.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on November 10, 2015, 08:08:14 AM
I see two things going on here.

First, the sheriff who hired him is no dummy:

(https://muscleheaded.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/barney.jpg)



Second, the officer took Barney's motto too literally and had a few too many nips out of the bottle.

(http://memecrunch.com/meme/4O3ML/nip-it-in-the-bud/image.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 03, 2015, 06:03:59 PM
oy vey

http://www.wesh.com/news/victims-family-believes-argument-over-adult-movie-led-to-shooting/36291348
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: MetalDog on December 03, 2015, 06:39:25 PM
Shortly after video players in cars started to become prevalent, ten or so years ago, I was driving home one night and got stopped behind a SUV at a red light.  I noticed they had a video screen with something playing on it.  Piqued by the novelty, I tried to make out what was playing on the screen.  Let's just say, I suspect the driver of the car only had one hand on the wheel.  And yes, this was in Florida.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on December 03, 2015, 10:01:30 PM
Wondering whether it was a Big Mac or a Quarter-Pounder in his hand? There's not a lot to do in Orange County but porno should always be after Mc Donalds not during. Just saying.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Nefaro on December 04, 2015, 11:48:10 AM
Wondering whether it was a Big Mac or a Quarter-Pounder in his hand? There's not a lot to do in Orange County but porno should always be after Mc Donalds not during. Just saying.


Hell... he was probably just on his lunch break from working at the Mac Shack. 

Probably didn't wash his hands when he returned, either.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 07, 2015, 06:58:28 PM
Quote
A Florida man with a history of drug, gun and theft arrests was allegedly naked, drunk and driving 110 mph with three female passengers when the Florida Highway Patrol caught up to him on Saturday afternoon.

Noe Dejesus, 33, was released Sunday after posting a $6,000 bond, FOX13 reported. He faces charges of DUI and driving without a license.

Dejesus was pulled over just after 3 p.m. following a report of a car driving recklessly on Alligator Alley. The Highway Patrol officer who clocked Dejesus’ speeding Cadillac initially believed the driver was merely shirtless.

But when Dejesus opened the door and stepped out, he was completely naked, police said.

The trooper allegedly spotted an open 12-pack of Corona and a nearly empty bottle of Crown Royal whiskey in the car, according to the Naples Daily News. Dejesus allegedly smelled of alcohol, was slurring his speech and almost fell down trying to put his pants on.

He declined to perform a field sobriety test and was arrested.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/12/07/naked-drunk-man-with-3-female-passengers-was-driving-110mph-cops-say/?intcmp=hplnws
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on December 08, 2015, 07:53:10 AM
Wondering whether it was a Big Mac or a Quarter-Pounder in his hand? There's not a lot to do in Orange County but porno should always be after Mc Donalds not during. Just saying.

The grease is lubricating.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 08, 2015, 09:53:04 AM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/matthew-riggins-pond-alligator-cops_5666b28ae4b08e945ff0c750
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 08, 2015, 09:53:45 AM
(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/alligator-317_zps57d608e4.gif)

Quote
A suspected burglar jumped in a Florida lake apparently hiding from law enforcement before an 11-foot alligator killed him, investigators said Monday. His hand and foot reportedly turned up inside the animal's stomach.

Brevard County Sheriff's Maj. Tod Goodyear says 22-year-old Matthew Riggins told his girlfriend he would be in Barefoot Bay to commit burglaries with another suspect. Authorities received calls Nov. 13 about two suspicious men in black walking behind homes and investigated. Riggins was reported missing the next day.

Goodyear said sheriff's divers recovered Riggins' body 10 days later in a nearby lake, and that the injuries suggested the alligator had pulled him below the surface. "He hid in the wrong place," resident Laura Farris told Bay News 9.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/12/08/burglary-suspect-hides-in-florida-lake-where-gator-eats-him/?intcmp=hpbt4
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 08, 2015, 10:01:52 AM
isn't that the same story (different source) that I just gave you?   ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 08, 2015, 10:40:21 AM
isn't that the same story (different source) that I just gave you?   ::)

Ah, yes. You beat my by ~ 40 seconds. However, mine has far more detail. Had I simply posted a lame link instead of copying some text, pasting it here, and then finding an appropriate smilie, I'd have been first.

So I started first, and ended better.

Nyah!  (http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/groovy.gif)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 08, 2015, 10:44:29 AM
then beat this one...

http://wncn.com/2015/12/08/deputies-man-was-having-sex-while-driving-when-he-hit-killed-bicyclist/

Quote
AUBURNDALE, Fla. (WFLA) –  The tragic case of a bicyclist killed in a hit and run crash in Polk County on Saturday took a bizarre turn when deputies arrested the suspect.

Polk County Sheriff’s Office detectives said the hit-and-run driver told them he was distracted by his female passenger, who was performing oral sex on him when he hit the bicyclist.

It happened just before 7 p.m. on U.S. Highway 92 West near Payne Street in Auburndale. Investigators say Terry Lamunt Ross was riding his bicycle east on the westbound shoulder of U.S. 92. A green Ford F-250 hit him almost head on. Ross was knocked off his bicycle, his body hit the truck and landed on the shoulder of the road. He died at the scene. The driver of the truck left the scene.

A witness in a passing car saw the crash. She asked her dad to follow the truck and write down its tag number while she called 911. After calling 911, the pair drove back to the crash scene to help Ross.

The witness stayed at the scene and gave Polk Sheriff’s Office deputies a detailed description about the crash, the suspect and his truck. With her help, the deputies identified the truck and its owner. When deputies found the truck, they saw the damage on it was consistent with the crash. Deputies questioned the truck’s driver, Randy Joe Allen, 54, who they found at the Liquid Larry’s Bar.

Allen told deputies he had been at a different bar earlier and left with a woman. Detectives said he was slurring his words and smelled of alcohol when they spoke with him. He allegedly said he was driving and remembered hitting something with the side of his car, but he thought it was a stop sign or a guardrail. He told the detectives he had been distracted by his passenger.

Detectives found his passenger, a young woman staying at a motel in Winter Haven. She confirmed that she had drinks with Allen and left in his car. She told detectives she was performing oral sex on Allen when she heard a bump. Allen told her it was a stop sign. She told deputies she had no reason not to believe him.

Detectives confirmed that Allen was driving the truck when the crash happened. They arrested him on a charge of leaving the scene of a deadly crash. Other charges are pending the results of the blood draw analysis.

Allen has seven prior arrests in Polk County including a DUI, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on December 08, 2015, 09:29:33 PM
That's what I call a real Blow-By-Blow Police Report. I've found that if you wedge the steering  wheel against the back of her head, the vehicle will go straight and you won't have to worry about running off the road. The Tilt Steering Wheel is one of mankind's greatest inventions.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Centurion40 on December 09, 2015, 06:17:54 AM
Quote
The Tilt Steering Wheel is one of mankind's greatest inventions.

Quote of the week!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on December 09, 2015, 06:31:55 AM
"What are serial killer instructions?"  :P ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 10, 2015, 06:44:45 PM
Quote
Don't like wearing condoms during risky sex? Best start lobbying your local lawmakers to increase the sales tax on alcohol. A study out of the University of Florida and published Wednesday in the Journal of Preventative Medicine found a correlation between gonorrhea rates and the price of alcohol.

But wait! It isn't exactly what you think.

Quote
According to a press release, Maryland raised its alcohol sales tax from 6 to 9 percent in 2011. Gonorrhea rates dropped 24 percent in the 18 months afterward, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reports.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/12/10/study-links-increase-in-alcohol-tax-to-lower-std-rates.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 16, 2015, 11:57:56 AM
Quote
A man high on the drug Flakka tried to break into a Florida jail all while cameras captured the incident, deputies said.

Cameras rolled as 24-year-old Patrick Rempe was seen attempting to ram his car through the front door of the jail, shattering the glass, Indian River County deputies said.

Smoke from the tires billowed out from under the car.

When he couldn’t get in, he drove into the fence outside a building and started climbing it before getting tangled in the razor wire.

Rempe was removed from the fence and taken to the hospital for injuries from the crash and razor wire.

Deputies said he was high on flakka and wanted to visit friends in jail.

source: http://miami.cbslocal.com/2015/12/16/deputies-man-high-on-flakka-tries-to-break-into-florida-jail/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on December 16, 2015, 05:38:07 PM
I'm NEVER inviting that guy over to my house.  :-X
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on December 16, 2015, 07:04:16 PM
Flakka? Is that some kind of Orc catnip?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 16, 2015, 07:23:45 PM
Flakka? Is that some kind of Orc catnip?

It's a synthetic drug that's highly potent and...well, lethal.

Quote
Flakka stories are starting to pile up. A man in South Florida who broke down the hurricane-proof doors of a police department admitted to being on flakka. A girl in Melbourne, Florida, ran through the street screaming that she was Satan while on a flakka trip. Authorities in the state are warning people about the dangers of the drug.

Quote
Flakka, which gets its name from Spanish slang for a beautiful woman ("la flaca"), contains a chemical that is a close cousin to MDPV, a key ingredient in "bath salts." These chemicals bind and thwart molecules on the surface of neurons that normally keep the levels of mood-regulating neurotransmitters, dopamine and serotonin, in check. The result is to "flood the brain" with these chemicals, Hall said. Cocaine and methamphetamine have similar modes of action in the brain, but the chemicals in flakka have longer-lasting effects, Hall said.

Although a typical flakka high can last one to several hours, it is possible that the neurological effects can be permanent. Not only does the drug sit on neurons, it could also destroy them, Hall said. And because flakka, like bath salts, hang around in the brain for longer than cocaine, the extent of the destruction could be greater.

More at the link: http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/26/health/flakka-gravel-illegal-drugs/index.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on December 29, 2015, 01:55:53 PM
Georgia is next to Florida, right?

http://www.laudable.com/article/30753239/lottery-winner-dies-after-gold-plating-his-own-testicles?paramt=null&param4=lau-fb-us-de-gute&param1=laudable&param2=56993131&param5=10152433827856186&param6=6035462493096
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on December 29, 2015, 05:46:22 PM
I always wanted gold balls---- on my Christmas tree.  ^-^ This guy should've just stuck with ear rings.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on December 29, 2015, 06:51:28 PM
Georgia is next to Florida, right?

http://www.laudable.com/article/30753239/lottery-winner-dies-after-gold-plating-his-own-testicles?paramt=null&param4=lau-fb-us-de-gute&param1=laudable&param2=56993131&param5=10152433827856186&param6=6035462493096

IIRC someone posted this several months back. Might even have been me.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on January 01, 2016, 12:20:50 AM
Topless girl, wearing only a thong, trashes a McDonald's.

http://gawker.com/topless-florida-woman-wrecks-mcdonalds-pauses-to-guzzl-1560811384
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on January 01, 2016, 01:19:29 PM
The girl was a transplant from Columbia. The native Floridians don't wear anything when we trash fast-food places. Though we do comply with the, "Shirt and Shoes Required Here" rules for upscale establishments.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on January 01, 2016, 01:43:04 PM
Sounds like she might be bipolar. For some folks the manic phase can actually manifest as a full-blown psychotic episode.

I had a friend who suffered from bipolar disorder with extreme manic phases. During one of his worst episodes he jumped from an overpass because he was convinced he could fly. He shattered both his legs and it took years before he could walk unassisted. Walking around with a cane when you are 22 is not nearly so suave as it sounds when you actually need the damn thing.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on January 01, 2016, 09:31:04 PM
35 Years as a Mental Health professional and I can tell you the most difficult patients to handle are the Manic/Depressives when on their manic phases. I understand tasers don't even work them at that point. We always tried to get ahead of their mood swings and sedate them before they got out of hand because once they're on it all you can do is try to play catch-up.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on January 01, 2016, 11:28:31 PM
35 Years as a Mental Health professional and I can tell you the most difficult patients to handle are the Manic/Depressives when on their manic phases. I understand tasers don't even work them at that point. We always tried to get ahead of their mood swings and sedate them before they got out of hand because once they're on it all you can do is try to play catch-up.

Sounds like Star with a butt plug.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on January 02, 2016, 10:16:55 AM
Ooooo. Just had a mental picture.  :crazy2:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on January 02, 2016, 10:58:56 AM
Ooooo. Just had a mental picture.  :crazy2:

Now you're gonna need a mental health professional of your own.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on January 30, 2016, 08:20:04 PM
Star, we're going to need an alibi.

(http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j349/longblade/Smilies/dancingmonkey.gif)

Quote
Authorities say the body of a woman was found along with two live monkeys in a hotel room in southwest Florida.

North Port city spokesman Josh Taylor says 59-year-old Linda Marie Smith of Arcadia was found dead Friday at the Budget Inn.


<snip>

Taylor says police plan to interview a man who also had been found incoherent in the room. The man hasn't been identified.

source: http://www.clickorlando.com/news/body-of-woman-2-live-monkeys-found-in-florida-hotel-room
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on January 30, 2016, 08:52:31 PM
Looks like we will need to add a stretch goal for springing Star to to Mirth's Get-Out-Of-Jail Kickstarter.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on January 30, 2016, 08:59:12 PM
Arcadia's where I live.  :o  Nobody said anything about a woman or monkeys missing from here. We keep very close watch on our monkeys. Our women... not so much. Could have been she already had one foot on a banana peel.  :P
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: MetalDog on January 30, 2016, 09:01:18 PM
No need to worry Slash.  It happened in the metropolis of North Port.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on January 31, 2016, 10:25:39 AM
Quote
A 55-year-old woman in Port St. Lucie, Florida, was arrested earlier this month for domestic battery after allegedly attacking her husband for farting in bed, according to WPTV.com.

The flatulence flap occurred around 3:20 a.m. on Dec. 11 at the home of Dawn Meikle, according to police records.

Meikle's husband told police that she started elbowing him when he passed gas.

“Dawn began kicking him and eventually kicked him out of their bed,” according to an affidavit obtained by TCPalm.com.

The husband waited a few moments to clear the air (so to speak) before getting back in bed again.

After another butt trumpet, the man said his wife started elbowing and kicking him again, according to the website.

After a scuffle, Dawn Meikle told police she ran to the bathroom to call 911. She discharged a canister of pepper spray in the bedroom, according to the Miami Herald.

source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/florida-woman-dawn-meikle-attacks-husband-for-farting-in-bed-police-say_us_567990d4e4b0b958f6582c2a
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on January 31, 2016, 11:37:05 AM
Hopefully they charge her with wasting 911 resources, too.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 09, 2016, 09:57:27 AM
http://wncn.com/2016/02/09/fla-man-charged-with-tossing-alligator-through-wendys-drive-thru/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on February 09, 2016, 10:15:27 AM
http://wncn.com/2016/02/09/fla-man-charged-with-tossing-alligator-through-wendys-drive-thru/

Maybe Wendy's was so busy they were swamped.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 09, 2016, 10:22:45 AM
Here in Fla. it's legal to carry your alligator into an establishment as long as it's on a leash and is listed as a "Dependent" on your 1040A. Throwing them has never been legal or considered socially acceptable except on 4th of July and Redneck New Year's Day, which is always also their birthday because it's the only two dates they can remember. In this case neither applied and thus he was charged. BTW Alligators are surprisingly aerodynamic and can be thrown into a strong head-wind and carry quite far if you can get them to spiral, which isn't easy because they are very tail-heavy. And they LOVE Wendy's.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Nefaro on February 09, 2016, 06:59:10 PM
BTW Alligators are surprisingly aerodynamic and can be thrown into a strong head-wind and carry quite far if you can get them to spiral, which isn't easy because they are very tail-heavy. And they LOVE Wendy's.


They also love the juicy people inside Wendy's.   ^-^
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 10, 2016, 03:15:05 PM
http://wncn.com/2016/02/10/teen-fatally-shoots-cousin-after-losing-balance-on-hoverboard-officials-say/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 10, 2016, 05:41:44 PM
Very sad.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on February 13, 2016, 05:01:40 PM
I wonder if we need to send Star some band-aids?

Quote
After discovering a dildo among her husband’s belongings during a move Wednesday night, the Florida woman attacked her spouse, leaving him with bruises and scratches on his face, according to cops who arrested Chao for domestic battery.

As detailed in court records, the 48-year-old Chao and Joshua Sinclair, who have been married for just over a year, were driving to a new residence in Sarasota when Gao confronted Sinclair about the sex toy she discovered.

In a police statement, Sinclair wrote that Gao became furious upon learning from him that “a dildo she found was actually for me to use.”

Oh, and the accused is quite the looker:

(http://thesmokinggun.com/sites/default/files/assets/chaogao.jpg)

source: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/wife-batters-husband-over-sex-toy-263478
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 13, 2016, 09:27:16 PM
Her name is Chao but I wouldn't eat her. Not even with hot sauce.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 13, 2016, 10:48:33 PM
Looks like a dude from a Kung Fu B-movie.

Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 15, 2016, 11:39:44 AM
http://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on February 15, 2016, 03:11:56 PM
http://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/

Brant, you've got to quote from the article to get the full effect.

Quote
The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject. “Normally we go to Del Taco because of their $0.59 tacos, but we made some extra cash this week so we went to Chipotle. The farts you get from there could fill a gas chamber. I know he’s looking up from hell laughing his ass off saying it was worth it,” she says smiling through blackened teeth, apparently not caused by the fire.

The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 15, 2016, 03:21:30 PM
http://thevalleyreport.com/2016/02/13/florida-man-dies-in-meth-lab-explosion-after-lighting-farts-on-fire/

Brant, you've got to quote from the article to get the full effect.

Quote
The man’s wife was found lying naked on the couple’s front yard, reportedly still laughing. “A Blue Angel is when you put a lighter up to your butt and fart on it, making it catch on fire. It’s funny as s—,” explains the mans wife, who claims to be an expert on the subject. “Normally we go to Del Taco because of their $0.59 tacos, but we made some extra cash this week so we went to Chipotle. The farts you get from there could fill a gas chamber. I know he’s looking up from hell laughing his ass off saying it was worth it,” she says smiling through blackened teeth, apparently not caused by the fire.

The woman plans on suing Chipotle, which failed to address their peppers causing a higher rate of methane in human farts. She offered a statement, “I’m not mad about my husband dying, I just got my eyebrows did and now they’re gone.” Chipotle Mexican Grill has yet to respond.

bummer...

Quote
Some of these stories my be exaggerated, embellished or an outright work of fiction. Use proper judgment when reading anything on the internet. Share, but do not repost content without permission. 
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 15, 2016, 05:34:19 PM
Story was a total Gas.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 15, 2016, 06:05:19 PM
You can't spell "methane" without "meth."
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 16, 2016, 01:22:24 PM
http://wncn.com/2016/02/16/road-spikes-stop-mans-backhoe-joyride-on-florida-keys-bridge/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on February 16, 2016, 01:27:23 PM
http://wncn.com/2016/02/16/road-spikes-stop-mans-backhoe-joyride-on-florida-keys-bridge/

The list of charges he racked up is pretty impressive when you consider that DUI isn't among them.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 16, 2016, 02:52:10 PM
The Keys aren't Florida. They are the, "Conch Republic". And obviously don't have any Mental Treatment Centers there. Or backhoes that are secured as to be Idiot-Proof. They do have Mighty-Fine Wine.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 16, 2016, 02:53:38 PM
I've been to the Keys twice. The first time got so drunk I couldn't remember a five-mile hike we all apparently took. The second time I took it easy. It's difficult to have discipline in Key West when there's 300-some bars in such a small place.  O:-)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Barthheart on February 16, 2016, 03:07:17 PM
We spent 4 Christmases in the Keys, Key Colony Beach to be exact. And it certainly ain't Florida.  O0
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: LongBlade on February 16, 2016, 03:53:19 PM
I've been to the Keys twice. The first time got so drunk I couldn't remember a five-mile hike we all apparently took. The second time I took it easy. It's difficult to have discipline in Key West when there's 300-some bars in such a small place.  O:-)

Ah, then perhaps all charges are assumed to have DUI in them? Got it.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 16, 2016, 05:34:42 PM
Right. Everybody's driving DUI. It's the sober people that cause accidents down there. That's why there's only one road in and out because two directions is the most any of them can handle.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on February 18, 2016, 04:49:09 AM
Just to be clear, both times I visited, we were on a cruise. So no driving or operation of vehicles, heavy or otherwise, was involved.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: GDS_Starfury on February 27, 2016, 10:13:07 AM
(https://scontent-mia1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtl1/v/t1.0-9/12743672_352229868234226_9027116733458770735_n.jpg?oh=fdc4b48789ce87580993b6983d5d6bae&oe=575E08C2)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 27, 2016, 03:26:01 PM
I can see a vague resemblance.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on February 27, 2016, 04:30:48 PM
It's well known that manatees have no sense of taste, but good visibility.
This is just probably showing their bad taste.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on March 01, 2016, 01:31:15 PM
I feel like there's a mermaid joke to be made here somewhere...
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on March 01, 2016, 03:46:38 PM
I had to look that up to be sure it wasn't some cruel Internet joke. It is actually a story.

And the comments are frikkin' epic.

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-400-pound-woman-survives-sexual-assault-by-herd-of-manatees/

(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/187/422299939_6c43481b21.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 01, 2016, 05:01:49 PM
A bunch of drunk Manatees will do just about anybody. It's Spring Break you know.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 08, 2016, 07:37:22 PM
http://jalopnik.com/crashing-into-a-waffle-house-pantsless-and-drunk-is-the-1763381052
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 08, 2016, 08:48:14 PM
Meanwhile in Florida, the alligators have developed sign making skills.
(http://i.imgur.com/k43G3R8.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 08, 2016, 09:21:43 PM
Waffle House has a very strict Dress Code: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. Doesn't say anything about pants.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Freyland on March 10, 2016, 12:00:47 AM
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/florida-woman-shot-in-back-by-4-year-old-son/ar-AAgAbpD?ocid=spartanntp

I got nuthin'.

(I also don't know how to make a link)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 10, 2016, 08:04:57 AM
Ohhh Baby. She can squeeze my trigger anytime she wants.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Freyland on March 10, 2016, 09:15:25 AM
Wait, yes I do...



(http://rs433.pbsrc.com/albums/qq51/elvera2006/stewiewithgun.jpg~c200)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 30, 2016, 08:48:15 AM
any story this weird needed to be posted.  the fact that there's a tie-in to Maine is just a bonus

http://wncn.com/2016/04/30/disturbing-florida-man-accused-of-killing-woman-having-sex-with-her-body/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 30, 2016, 09:25:45 PM
Wait a minute. You not even safe having sex with a total stranger that you met in a liquor store? What IS this world coming to?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 17, 2016, 12:40:28 PM
http://wncn.com/2016/09/17/deputies-infant-was-inside-florida-house-during-drug-making-explosion-that-killed-2-dogs/

How'd we go over 4 months with no new posts in this thread?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on September 17, 2016, 01:08:18 PM
Nice that the article ends with telling us how to make the drug.  ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on September 19, 2016, 05:51:50 AM
Hurricane season.  The news bureaus have been focused on NATURAL disasters.
This normal, crazy stuff from Florida pales in the awesomeness of a hurricane.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 26, 2016, 03:02:32 PM
How is this NOT in Florida?

http://wncn.com/2016/09/26/nc-woman-held-knife-to-her-ex-girlfriends-throat-during-sex-assault-deputies-say/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on September 26, 2016, 09:24:26 PM
Because for this to work, you have to know which end of the knife to hold to threaten someone?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on November 24, 2016, 06:56:21 AM
here comes another one

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38080181
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Martok on November 24, 2016, 05:35:38 PM
Sheesh.  Whatever happened to telling your drunk asshole friend(s) to just get the hell out? 
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on November 25, 2016, 10:15:34 AM
Bay County is so far north, it officially qualifies as Alabama which explains much of the story line. In the Real Florida, we don't shoot people unless we mean it. And we NEVER let people named, "Cowboy" into our homes.  :clap:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on December 29, 2016, 06:25:55 AM
http://wncn.com/2016/12/29/family-of-naked-florida-man-who-died-after-jumping-on-cars-says-he-was-set-up/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on December 29, 2016, 08:20:47 AM
Not overly weird behavior considering the Tampa Bay Buccs season this year.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on December 29, 2016, 08:41:22 AM
http://wncn.com/2016/12/29/family-of-naked-florida-man-who-died-after-jumping-on-cars-says-he-was-set-up/

 ???

Quote
Nathan Howard Hamilton, 39, ran across the highway, jumped on a car, and then repeatedly bashed his head into the windshield.

He was later taken to St. Joseph’s Hospital where he died.

Yeah, sounds like a TOTAL set-up...  ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 13, 2017, 06:57:57 AM
Assault with a deadly....  alligator

http://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-reportedly-tossing-gator-into-wendys/67797998
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 13, 2017, 09:53:19 AM
That explains why my local Wendy's is now serving Gator Bites. Thanks Crazy Dude.  :clap:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on February 13, 2017, 10:03:02 AM
I wish we had gators in Maine.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Freyland on February 13, 2017, 11:21:00 AM
Assault with a deadly....  alligator

http://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-reportedly-tossing-gator-into-wendys/67797998

http://grogheads.com/forums/index.php?topic=14848.75

Posted by you, page 6 of this thread.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on February 13, 2017, 11:37:06 AM
Hey, if we haven't read it yet, it's still news!

Bonus points for throwing the alligator THROUGH THE DRIVE-IN WINDOW!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 13, 2017, 11:48:16 AM
Assault with a deadly....  alligator

http://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-reportedly-tossing-gator-into-wendys/67797998

http://grogheads.com/forums/index.php?topic=14848.75

Posted by you, page 6 of this thread.

wow - I had totally forgotten about that.   :-[

thanks!  O0
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on February 13, 2017, 12:00:11 PM
They say memory is the first thing to go. The second thing to go is memory.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on February 13, 2017, 01:07:20 PM
what's the third thing?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on February 13, 2017, 01:09:56 PM
What was that first thing again?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on February 13, 2017, 01:11:18 PM
The first thing was the Chicken. The egg came afterward. A chicken I used to know told me that.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 08, 2017, 08:11:01 AM
Florida ducklings

(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/12832316_1696758540601869_3563917538996389258_n.jpg?oh=1ee3a9ea3d5fec99a9a777d53fd700d0&oe=592C433A)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 09, 2017, 01:33:44 PM
Aren't they cute? Little future cowboy boots.  :cowboy:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on March 23, 2017, 06:22:22 AM
(https://i.redd.it/4f4ya7e3m2ny.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Ubercat on March 23, 2017, 07:23:46 AM
The super rich just aren't like the rest of us. He'll be out soon. A man like that can afford the best legal representation money can buy.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 23, 2017, 10:08:07 AM
Man. I thought that guy seemed suspicious when he tried to get me to take that check for $100! You just can't trust ANYONE now days.  #:-)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 24, 2017, 08:06:51 AM
http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/23/us/florida-book-burning-fire/index.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 24, 2017, 09:36:07 AM
And the book was, "The Idiot's Guide To Avoiding Wildfires".  :o
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 24, 2017, 04:18:00 PM
http://wncn.com/2017/03/24/florida-man-facing-charges-after-eating-pancakes-in-middle-roadway/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 25, 2017, 09:26:50 AM
His 'Aunt Jemima' told him it was OK.  :P
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 18, 2017, 06:51:12 AM
Florida man strikes again

http://urbanleak.com/man-breaks-into-a-burger-king-to-eat-dozens-of-burgers-and-2-gallons-of-soda/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 18, 2017, 09:03:25 AM
Isn't that one of Spiderman's enemies-- Jaggernaut? He looks like he could've just eaten the fryer whole with oil already in it.  :wow:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Martok on April 20, 2017, 06:00:21 AM
Florida man strikes again

http://urbanleak.com/man-breaks-into-a-burger-king-to-eat-dozens-of-burgers-and-2-gallons-of-soda/


I almost threw up when I read this bit: 
Quote
...and drank more than 25 gallons of used oil from the deep fryers.

WTF??!!!  Even assuming that's a typo (drinking 25 gallons of anything would be pretty much impossible in the space of just a couple hours), I'm still feeling a little ill at the thought.  :buck2: 

Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on May 08, 2017, 07:12:16 PM
Florida man strikes again

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime--law/florida-man-shows-church-his-genitals-says-lord-told/54G54Am010HQUHu2P2QABP/

::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on May 08, 2017, 07:14:07 PM
The Fury of the Goat is strong.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on May 08, 2017, 09:13:06 PM
"Church of the Emasculate Conception"????  :peace:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Ubercat on May 09, 2017, 08:29:41 AM
"Church of the Genital Presentation".
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Barthheart on June 02, 2017, 06:55:38 AM
 :o  :wow:  :hide:

http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 02, 2017, 07:08:50 AM
:o  :wow:  :hide:

http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/

Poor Jasmine.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Steelgrave on June 02, 2017, 08:08:38 AM
OMG, what a tagline....."High heels and diarrhea don't mix"  LMAO!!!  :DD :DD :DD
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 02, 2017, 09:51:13 AM
Hey! The club I go to, you have to pay extra for that.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 02, 2017, 10:05:48 AM
You've been getting ripped off, my friend.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 02, 2017, 01:25:01 PM
That's a pretty crappy attitude.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 02, 2017, 01:30:08 PM
I'm going to run with it.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on June 23, 2017, 07:19:42 PM
"Golf cart chop shop" (http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime--law/new-drug-bust-the-villages-uncovers-possible-golf-cart-chop-shop/NPT9E8cExOuRQUz5MJLOvN/)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 23, 2017, 09:25:26 PM
Here in Fla. retirees drive their golf carts out to their cars, to drive out to their mailboxes. And back again. Then they drive to the gym to work-out. And after.... go to Bob Evans for pie and ice cream. Some of them actually use them on the golf course too. And when you get in their way, they look like this.  >:(
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on June 26, 2017, 08:20:40 AM
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-zoo-employee-killed-while-attempting-to-rape-alligator/

Guess kid-reporter Jimmie Olsen couldn't keep up with Superman anyhmore.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 08:23:07 AM
As much as I want that story to be true...

http://www.snopes.com/zoo-employee-alligator/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 08:30:15 AM
Man, I want this one to be true too

Quote
“NAZI ENTHUSIAST IMPREGNATES OWN WIFE WITH FROZEN SPERM OF HITLER”
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 26, 2017, 09:40:12 AM
Sex with an alligator in Fla. is legal as long as the animal is of legal age and consents. This just in from the World News Daily.  8)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 09:41:32 AM
Is it legal to impregnate an alligator using Hitler's sperm?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on June 26, 2017, 09:47:58 AM
If the idea is to create a race of raw materials for high-fashion jackboots, then yes.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 09:48:46 AM
If the idea is to create a race of raw materials for high-fashion jackboots, then yes.

Excellent. My new business plan is coming together.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on June 26, 2017, 09:49:42 AM
(https://media.giphy.com/media/5nFShZWwq3fdm/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 26, 2017, 09:56:32 AM
Yeah but you have to keep the little moustaches on the front boots trimmed.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on June 26, 2017, 09:58:22 AM
It won't matter, with Der LuftstacheTM Brand Mustache Wax.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 09:59:15 AM
It won't matter, with Der LuftstacheTM Brand Mustache Wax.

Bawb's managing that part of the business.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bawbs flying stache on June 26, 2017, 10:00:18 AM
It won't matter, with Der LuftstacheTM Brand Mustache Wax.

Bawb's managing that part of the business.

NEIN! ICH AM!

Meine idean fur das Moooostache Vax ist mein und mein alone, und Herr Bawbwaffe ist of  know zis!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 10:01:52 AM
It won't matter, with Der LuftstacheTM Brand Mustache Wax.

Bawb's managing that part of the business.

NEIN! ICH AM!

Meine idean fur das Moooostache Vax ist mein und mein alone, und Herr Bawbwaffe ist of  know zis!

Alright, alright, but I get 60% of the profits. That's the deal I had with Bawb.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bawbs flying stache on June 26, 2017, 10:04:42 AM
Nein, it vas our understandink that du vas to be in charge uff the hiringk uff dieses svetshop employees, ja? You insisted vhen du found outen that they vould all be Filipino girls betveen 21 und 30.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 26, 2017, 10:05:58 AM
OK then. Who gets to impregnate the alligators?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bob48 on June 26, 2017, 10:06:31 AM
Now what are you up to, you little hairy bugger? (No, not you, Slash).
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bawbs flying stache on June 26, 2017, 10:06:57 AM
OK then. Who gets to impregnate the alligators?

It looks like du are volunteeeeering fur dieses job, ja?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on June 26, 2017, 10:07:43 AM
Nein, it vas our understandink that du vas to be in charge uff the hiringk uff dieses svetshop employees, ja? You insisted vhen du found outen that they vould all be Filipino girls betveen 21 und 30.

That's fair.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bawbs flying stache on June 26, 2017, 10:08:12 AM
Now what are you up to, you little hairy bugger?

Oh, du know, conquering Europen, bombing uff the southern Englanders, und drinking beer from steins shaped like ze SS leadershippen's busts.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bob48 on June 26, 2017, 10:09:31 AM
Don't talk about busts. last time you got excited and look what happened to Poland.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 26, 2017, 12:14:37 PM
That's where my SS Leadershippen Beer Steins I ordered ended-up? Dammit!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bob48 on June 26, 2017, 12:25:17 PM
Or in your case, beer stains.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on June 26, 2017, 05:44:46 PM
I got the beer stains. Right next to the Pizza sauce stains and in between the Picante and Hot Wing sauce ones. And that's the shirt I put on this morning.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on July 16, 2017, 06:21:53 AM
(https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/daily-morning-awesomeness-35-photos-2270.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on July 16, 2017, 10:41:15 AM
Chewing through the wires of a surveillance camera is hard to defend.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/man-caught-on-camera-damaging-fhp-camera?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on July 17, 2017, 10:00:19 AM
The next penis that guy will be holding in his hand will probably be his own. If he can get the gator to cough it back up.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 19, 2017, 05:45:25 PM
Large Alligator Killed in Florida

(fucking mutant-sized monster)

https://scottiestoybox.com/2010/09/15/large-alligator-killed-in-florida/

...that's a full-sized buck it has in its jaws:

(https://scottiestoybox.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/big-gator-2.jpg)

(https://scottiestoybox.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/big-gator-3.jpg)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on July 19, 2017, 05:47:10 PM
That looks like a frikkin' terrorsaurus.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on July 19, 2017, 05:49:28 PM
Oh deer
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 19, 2017, 05:51:46 PM
Looks like he got horned into that one.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on July 19, 2017, 05:54:59 PM
Punosaurus Rex.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on July 19, 2017, 06:07:56 PM
If you read the comments it seems there's some fake news going on.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on July 19, 2017, 06:09:24 PM
I prefer to live in alternate fact bliss.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 19, 2017, 06:10:40 PM
I prefer to live in alternate fact bliss.

It might be fake news. But someone posted it on FB, so it has to be truthful! Like a CNN story.  ::)

In all seriousness I assumed it was real, because that picture, tho.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on July 19, 2017, 07:11:03 PM
Original article with pix from the Fish and Wildlife Service was dated 2004, and it happened in Georgia.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on July 19, 2017, 07:27:35 PM
 :DD

 :uglystupid2:

 :-"
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on July 19, 2017, 09:01:52 PM
Alligators don't usually carry prey around in their jaws like that, they pull them down and stash them somewhere on the bottom to decompose to make them easier to chew and swallow. So, yeah, it looks a little fake to me too. The head in the close-up pic looks doctored to be bigger than normal also and wouldn't be in line with the body. It would be hanging over to one side unless the animal was still alive in which case I doubt the Ranger would be walking that close by. Still, it would make one hell of a pair of boots.  :wow:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on July 20, 2017, 04:43:58 AM
One of the commenters linked to the real story from FWS and that story mentioned that the pix were all taken from a helicopter. The personnel was actually out there on unrelated business when they spotted the gator.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on July 20, 2017, 09:01:57 AM
Maybe the alligator was just giving the deer a ride back to shore.  ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on July 21, 2017, 09:47:54 AM
I remember several years ago, on a cryptozoology board, someone was claiming the photos had been taken in northern Alabama. (Or rather, someone elsewhere was trying that, and someone posted to the crypto board to discuss and check for debunking.)

The photos with the deer are real and untouched (but not from Bama). Consensus was eventually that the photo of the hanging gator was real but from a different incident, with a larger head shopped on to make it seem proportionate to the size of the gator in the copter photo(s). Higher res source now, sure does make the head look fake!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: JasonPratt on July 21, 2017, 09:55:20 AM
Meanwhile, in actual Florida:



YOU ARE NOT MAKING THE U.S. LOOK BETTER ON GUN SAFETY, GUY!  >:D :buck2:

(Note, the video starts with one of the trucks' tires already shot up.)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on July 21, 2017, 10:52:04 AM
It's Miami! There's nobody left from Florida or America in Miami. The guy was probably celebrating, "Castro Has A Hemorrhoid Day"-- very big in Miami. Or else revenge for all those robo-calls.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bobarossa on July 29, 2017, 02:23:53 PM
Can't believe you guys haven't posted about this one.
http://www.dispatch.com/news/20170727/authorities-man-robs-bank-then-gets-naked-and-throws-money
Hope it doesn't require a subscription to view.  Guy robs bank, strips off clothes and tosses money as he runs.  Says he hoped it would jump-start his comedy career!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on July 29, 2017, 03:28:18 PM
Could that be Star of the Goatfury?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on July 29, 2017, 09:06:31 PM
Isn't that how Sam Kennesaw got started?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: airboy on August 15, 2017, 07:15:38 PM
Rental SUV carrying gas grill with open propane tank explodes on the highway.

(http://grogheads.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=14848.0;attach=11262)

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/couple-transporting-grill-injured-after-suv-explodes-when-wife-lights-up-cig-cops-say/ar-AAq4nNO?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on August 15, 2017, 07:26:44 PM
Considering there were no life-threatening injuries, I'm going out on a limb here and say that much of the sheet-metal damage to that vehicle was caused by the Hurst tools or other extraction gear rather than the initial propane flash. If not, then the careless idiots inside would be smashed by the overpressure as well as turned to cooked meat.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on August 15, 2017, 09:43:34 PM
Never let your wife flip your weenie while she's driving.  ;)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on September 20, 2017, 02:56:04 PM
http://wncn.com/2017/09/20/teacher-sent-sexual-texts-to-student-deputies-say/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on September 20, 2017, 06:34:52 PM
^ I wonder how they found out. It says that law enforcement confronted them both at the same time. Someone must've been looking over a shoulder...
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on October 16, 2017, 05:50:10 AM
Because, ya know, Krispy Kreme is actually more addictive than meth.

http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2017/10/15/florida-man-arrested-after-police-mistook-krispy-kreme-glaze-for-meth-receives-37500.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on October 16, 2017, 08:57:35 AM
Couldn't have been KK glaze because NOBODY lets that fall-off without eating it. I've seen people head-butt each other trying to get to a falling bit of KK glaze. We call them, "Kreme-roids.". After they land, they are, "Kreme-rites".    :notworthy:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on October 31, 2017, 01:59:25 PM
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/sunrise/fl-sunrise-video-voyeur-charge-20171030-story.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on December 03, 2017, 07:32:59 AM
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/weird/Opossum-Breaks-Into-Liquor-Store-and-Gets-Drunk-as-a-Skunk-461510113.html?_osource=SocialFlowFB_DCBrand

My appreciation of Opossums went up a notch - but it was Florida.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on December 03, 2017, 07:55:54 AM
^lmao  :2funny:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on December 03, 2017, 09:51:11 PM
Everybody knows possums can not handle their liquor. But it's hard to tell when they're drunk because you can't tell when they've passed-out or just playing possum. Now there's a raccoon at a local bar that can pop the top on a bottle of beer and serve it to you, but good luck getting him to buy a round.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on January 11, 2018, 11:47:21 AM
http://www.news965.com/news/local/florida-man-gets-stitches-after-bear-attack/F7BBDHveLHlt90Q21cVQcL/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Barthheart on January 11, 2018, 11:50:45 AM
That's very odd for a black, or even a brown, bear to attack a human.... must have been very startled.... or sick... they need to catch that bear and find out...
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on January 11, 2018, 12:17:14 PM
Very hard to get Florida Black Bears to talk. Waterboarding doesn't even work.  Though I'd tell stuff I didn't know if it was me.  ;D  That happened about 45 miles south of me. Bears are becoming more common all the time now in Florida, even in suburban settings. Maybe now people will take them more seriously.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on January 13, 2018, 11:39:15 AM
31 stories of Florida fun (https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/weirdest-news-stories-from-florida-this-year/)  O0
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on March 06, 2018, 05:24:09 AM
Wow, it's been a few months since we talked about Florida...

https://nypost.com/2018/03/04/father-daughter-caught-having-sex-in-their-backyard/amp/
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: OJsDad on March 06, 2018, 06:04:29 AM
Where's vomit guy
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bbmike on March 06, 2018, 06:31:58 AM
(http://www.aarcentral.com/pics/vomit.gif)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 06, 2018, 08:27:18 AM
Father-Daughter Day?   :o   I think a card would've done just fine.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on March 06, 2018, 06:00:17 PM
Was it you that turned them in?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 06, 2018, 10:08:32 PM
Well of course. The Sum-bitch cut in line ahead of me.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on April 23, 2018, 01:08:31 PM
http://www.laweekly.com/restaurants/drunk-florida-man-tries-to-use-taco-as-id-2382325
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 23, 2018, 09:21:04 PM
I think he'd had more than tacos that night.  ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on April 28, 2018, 06:41:02 AM
http://www.cbs17.com/news/south/florida-father-upset-over-homework-referring-to-baby-daddy-revenge-sex/1147212020
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 28, 2018, 08:08:03 AM
I'd be right there with him. Not just about the 'Baby's Daddy' reference either. On the other hand, how bad is this girl in bed if her sex is considered revenge?  :o
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on April 28, 2018, 10:12:34 AM
Gee whiz, I wonder why there's no comments section available on their site?  O:-)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: mirth on August 03, 2018, 11:09:26 AM
https://twitter.com/CalebJHull/status/1025384749286735872
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on August 03, 2018, 09:20:57 PM
I understand it was the alligators idea. Shouldn't surprise anyone because, clearly the gator is the more intelligent of the two.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: bayonetbrant on August 12, 2018, 07:56:15 AM
(never mind)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: BanzaiCat on August 14, 2018, 05:54:10 AM
Let's face it - are there any state names we could substitute for "Florida" and be surprised as to the outcome?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on August 14, 2018, 08:58:12 AM
Now don't go undermining our state 'uniqueness'. We work hard to earn it. Ok, so we don't have to work THAT hard. But still the principal holds.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Labbug on August 31, 2018, 11:26:53 AM
http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/08/31/giant-lizard-in-florida-evades-capture-torments-family-its-terrifying-to-look-at.html
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on December 22, 2018, 12:51:06 PM
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/422043-colorado-sheriff-handling-job-responsibilities-from-floria

Technically this should cause a Colorado thread, but it seems to fit Florida so well.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on March 06, 2019, 04:52:57 AM
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/07/16/florida-man-faked-his-murder-using-gun-and-weather-balloon/787566002/

Didn't Conan Doyle write a Sherlock Homes story with this plot?  IIRC, he had the suicide weapon fall from a bridge into the water.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on March 06, 2019, 08:34:00 AM
Also now a really great way to commit murder and blame it on suicide with a weather balloon.  #:-)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on March 06, 2019, 11:26:23 AM
Florida Man, whoever he is, is one busy dude.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: airboy on April 12, 2019, 08:48:50 AM
Florida Man Threatens Town with Turtle Army!

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-threatening-to-destroy-town-with-army-of-turtles-police
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 12, 2019, 09:49:50 AM
Brevard County doesn't count as part of Florida. We've tried to give them to Cuba and the Bahamas but nobody will take them. Now you know why.  :idiot2:   Just for the record, turtles can be trained to serve cold drinks on their backs and spy on your neighbors for you but cannot be trained to attack anyone. At least not quickly enough to catch-up to them. Carry on.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: airboy on April 12, 2019, 10:00:08 AM
Brevard County doesn't count as part of Florida. We've tried to give them to Cuba and the Bahamas but nobody will take them. Now you know why.  :idiot2:   Just for the record, turtles can be trained to serve cold drinks on their backs and spy on your neighbors for you but cannot be trained to attack anyone. At least not quickly enough to catch-up to them. Carry on.

How are 'turtle spies" trained?  How do turtle spies evade our canine guardians?  My canine guardians "search and annoy" turtles every time they can get their paws around one.  The turtle spy goes into "shutdown mode" which prevents spying, but causes great annoyance to my canine guards. 
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 12, 2019, 01:45:22 PM
The properly equipped ones have little cameras in their butts. Dogs never think to check there.  ::)
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 12, 2019, 07:50:17 PM
Slash The Wife and I are flying to Miami and then driving to the Keys tomorrow. Where are you?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 12, 2019, 10:09:13 PM
No where real close, about 100 miles north of Miami and over by the west coast. Arcadia is the town, in Desoto County. Miami Airport is a bear BTW, hope one of you speaks Spanish fluently. The Keys are great. Great place to vacation.  O0
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 13, 2019, 06:02:37 AM
I’ve just been notified that we are flying in to Ft. Lauderdale, not Miami.

Probably because we don’t speak Spanish.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 13, 2019, 09:19:03 AM
SPRING BREAK!!! :D  Hope you brought your thong. And, lots of cash. We so appreciate that here.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 13, 2019, 09:56:39 AM
I never go anywhere without my thong. I don’t remember who it belonged to, originally.

Almost there. Plane is packed with little kids under 5, but I have to say...they are all the most well behaved kids I have ever seen. I lucked out this time.

Their parents are so strict too, all of them. Didn’t think people like this still existed.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 13, 2019, 11:48:15 AM
WHAT are you drinking? Tell me, I want some.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: DoctorQuest on April 13, 2019, 05:01:09 PM
The real question is: "What are the kids drinking?"
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 13, 2019, 06:29:52 PM
My kids are 1500 miles away right now. I love them so much at this distance.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Con on April 13, 2019, 06:31:04 PM
I never go anywhere without my thong. I don’t remember who it belonged to, originally.

Almost there. Plane is packed with little kids under 5, but I have to say...they are all the most well behaved kids I have ever seen. I lucked out this time.

Their parents are so strict too, all of them. Didn’t think people like this still existed.
Are you on the slave trafficking midgets for Disney world charter flight?
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 13, 2019, 08:47:49 PM
Those, 'well behaved kids' are probably just setting you up for the return flight.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 14, 2019, 06:48:44 AM
^Damn you.

It’s hot here. How do you live like this??
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 14, 2019, 01:04:07 PM
See above post concerning, 'thongs'. Also, it's only been in the eighties. It hasn't started getting hot yet.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 14, 2019, 02:22:47 PM
 :buck2:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: airboy on April 14, 2019, 09:13:14 PM
See above post concerning, 'thongs'. Also, it's only been in the eighties. It hasn't started getting hot yet.  :coolsmiley:

Don't forget the muggy.  Probably not even a daily 80% humidity yet. 
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: airboy on April 14, 2019, 09:21:29 PM
Darn it Sir Slash - we gave away the secret to Florida Man.  Have a lot of heat, enough to fry your brains and your common sense.  Add a whole bunch of humidity to lubricate the stupid.  Throw in some alcohol and voila! Florida Man!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 15, 2019, 07:25:10 AM
How long does it take to become Floriduh Man? I have been here two days and have already abandoned clothes.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Pete Dero on April 15, 2019, 07:58:14 AM
How long does it take to become Floriduh Man? I have been here two days and have already abandoned clothes.


Do you have a large bird in the neighbourhood ?

https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/04/14/florida-man-attacked-and-killed-by-large-flightless-bird/3465706002/

Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: DoctorQuest on April 15, 2019, 08:34:09 AM
How long does it take to become Floriduh Man? I have been here two days and have already abandoned clothes.

TMI, Dude. T-M-I.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 15, 2019, 09:23:32 AM
The heat this time of year is not a natural occurrence. It's caused by some many Yankees heading back up north simultaneously that it causes a vacuum sucking in hot air from the Caribbean. It's called a, 'Snowbird Vortex'. Two things mitigate it, Air Conditioning and Swimming Pool. If you can find a place that has an air conditioned swimming pool-- that's your spot. :bd:   It also helps to drink a lot.... of fluids I meant to say. Drink lots of fluids.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Barthheart on April 15, 2019, 10:49:32 AM
….  It also helps to drink a lot.... of fluids I meant to say. Drink lots of fluids.

Beer is a fluid!  :bd:
So are Margaritas!
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 15, 2019, 12:25:00 PM
Now in Key West. So fabulous!! And no the angry homicidal bird was not mine.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on April 15, 2019, 05:06:46 PM
Now in Key West. So fabulous!! And no the angry homicidal bird was not mine.

Pix! Pix!

It's not likely I'll get a chance to go back anytime soon so I'd like to visit vicariously.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 15, 2019, 05:46:32 PM
Key West... Great food, lots of bars, sunset at the southernmost point in the U.S.  :bd:  Watch your wallets and cameras.  :coolsmiley: 
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Staggerwing on April 15, 2019, 07:07:23 PM
My folks live about 20 min north of KW now but back in the 80's and early 90's they lived in KW itself, along one of the canals next to Key West international Airport. You could walk down to the end of the street and watch PBA Airlines' southern route DC-3's and Martin 404's land and take off on their way to and from Miami. I've actually flown on both types during visits back then. Way more fun than regional jets.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Gusington on April 15, 2019, 08:26:37 PM
Not watching airplanes right now...
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on April 15, 2019, 09:06:05 PM
How is it you're able to type and do that at the same time?  <:-)  Both sets of fingers are always busy for me.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: steve58 on May 06, 2019, 10:13:15 PM
So this lady in Florida pulls an alligator out of her pants...no, really (https://www.foxnews.com/us/alligator-florida-pants).  :o
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: airboy on May 07, 2019, 07:17:03 AM
That was weird even for Florida.
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on May 07, 2019, 09:06:44 AM
That's the new Sexual Assault Prevention Device being sold as also being environmentally friendly AND prevents you from falling asleep while driving. Supports wildlife and a wild life.  :bd:   They're called, 'Gator Guards'. Available in sizes, 'Lose-a-Finger' to 'Lose-a-Hand'. Bass Pro Shops carry them.  :coolsmiley:
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: besilarius on August 07, 2019, 05:12:43 PM
Miami football fans make comments:

Being a Dolphin fan is like losing your virginity to Jennifer Lawrence and now Lena Dunham won’t return your calls.

The entire roster looks like the Thanos Snap actually took place.

Ryan Fitzpatrick showed up to camp weighing just less than a commercial shipping vessel.

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2019-miami-dolphins-1837009764
Title: Re: Florida deserves its own thread
Post by: Sir Slash on August 07, 2019, 05:33:52 PM
It's still early!  :D  But... it's also Miami, so.....  :'(