The Night before Christmas

[besilarius]

A Navy version"
Twas the night before Christmas, compartments were still, The sailors were sleeping, as most sailors will. The ditty bags hung by the lockers with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The men were all peacefully dreaming in bed As visions of liberty danced in each head. The Chief in his skivvies, hopped into his rack, Having just came from town and a quick midnight snack. When out on the deck there arose such a roar, I ran to the porthole to find out the score. I stuck out my head and started to shout, "Just what in the world is this noise all about?" A moon made for boon docking showed with a glow, It was downright cold out, 'bout seven below. What I saw out there looked like those Mardi Gras floats, 'Twas a Captain's gig drawn by four white Navy goats. In the boat was a man who seemed quiet and moody, I knew in an instant St. Nick had the duty. As quickly as Monday his billy goats came, He whistled and shouted and called them by name. "Now Perry, now Farragut, Dewey and Jones, What's the matter John Paul, got lead in your bones? A little to Starb'rd, now hold it up short, No fluffing off now, or you'll go on report!" He was wearing dress "Reds" that fit like a charm, His hash marks they covered the length of his arm. The gifts to be issued were all in his pack, The gedunk was ready to leave on each rack. His eyes they were watering, his nose caked with ice, He wiped it with canvass, then sneezed once or twice. He opened his mouth and started to yawn, It looked like the Sun coming up with the dawn. The stump of a pipe, he held tight in his teeth, And took a small nip from a bottle beneath. He wasn't so big, but he must have been strong, I figured he'd been in SEALs early and long. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Tar, Who said "Evenin' Matey, here - have a cigar." He filled every sea bag with presents galore, And left us all leave papers, right by the door. With "Anchors Aweigh" he climbed back into place, A broad smile was creeping all over his face. One look at his watch and he started to frown, "This mid watch is certainly getting me down." Then out to the breakwater and into the night, The gig started fading, the landscape was bright. "Merry Christmas" he said, as he drove on his way, "Now I'll finish my rounds and sack in for the day."

[JasonPratt]

NavyDad would approve.  :bd:

[besilarius]

Ah, the memories that come back:

Imagine Bing Crosby singing this! Subic Christmas...

Do you smell what I smell,
Halfway cross the bridge, sailor boy?
Do you smell what I smell?
A turd, a turd, floating by the boat
Much worse than puke from a goat,
Much worse than puke from a goat!

Do you taste what I taste,
In the cheap hotel, sailor boy?
Do you taste what I taste?
A honeyko, her time of month is here,
Pin on those Red Wings so dear,
Pin on those Red Wings so dear!

Said the Chief to the sailors everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
Be on time, be on time, sailor boys!
Listen to what I say!
You hooted with owls late into the night,
At quarters like eagles take flight,
At quarters like eagles...taaake fliiiiiiight!

[besilarius]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRhjWdr-LAA

South Kitsap High School was given a challenge to perform a unique Christmas Show.
"Oh, we can Handel it."

[besilarius]

Stand back, kids.  Frosty has work to do.

[bbmike]

Is that a pistol in Frosty's pocket...?

[besilarius]

 A Command Master Chief and his wife, stationed at Naval Air Station (NAS), Brunswick, Maine decided to take leave for a couple of weeks to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.

They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.

So, the Command Master Chief left NAS Brunswick and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The Master Chief checked into the hotel.

There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Kansas, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.

He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 December 2017

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. - Sure is blistering hot down here!

[Staggerwing]

LOL

[besilarius]

Gotta have Snoopy over for Christmas.
He always like to share quaffs of root beet with Bill Mauldin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-hWZGIWe_U

[Sir Slash]

That Snoopy was a 'Party Animal'. Couldn't fly a doghouse worth a damn though.

[besilarius]

An oldie and a goodie.

[Staggerwing]

LOL

[besilarius]

https://www.inverse.com/article/25206-a-klingon-christmas-carol-star-trek

Christmas can be a magical season.

[Martok]

An oldie and a goodie.

Wow, been a while since I've seen that one.  A classic indeed.  O0 

https://www.inverse.com/article/25206-a-klingon-christmas-carol-star-trek

Christmas can be a magical season.

That is all kinds of awesome!  Wish I'd know about this when it was first put on in Minneapolis, as I was living there at the time. 

[besilarius]

Merry Christmas to all the great Grogs.

found a great Christmas show.
"Very British Problems" on Christmas.  Acorn channel.
Because no tradition says Christmas like The Bridge on the River Kwai.