Darwin Award Candidate

Started by besilarius, May 16, 2017, 06:07:15 AM

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besilarius

May 16, 2017, 06:07:15 AM
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

bayonetbrant

#1
May 16, 2017, 08:29:22 AM
it's f'n' Zimbabwe.  What'd you expect?
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Sir Slash

#2
May 16, 2017, 09:01:23 AM
I hope at least that the crocs said Grace before eating.  ::)  Tasteless, but I couldn't resist.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

JasonPratt

#3
May 18, 2017, 11:15:43 AM Last Edit: May 18, 2017, 11:38:38 AM by JasonPratt
Only if they're eating atheists. (Per the joke.)  ;)

(To clarify, Slash sounds like he's reffing the old Loch Ness Monster joke.)
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Sir Slash

#4
May 18, 2017, 01:13:28 PM
I'm not proud Jason. I'll steal material from anywhere.  :coolsmiley:
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

OJsDad

#5
May 22, 2017, 10:52:07 AM
Trophy hunter dies after wounded elephant crushes him in Zimbabwe

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/trophy-hunter-dies-after-wounded-elephant-crushes-him-in-zimbabwe/ar-BBBnAVE?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp

QuoteA big game hunter died Friday in Zimbabwe when a member of his hunting group fired their gun at an elephant striking it and causing it to fall on him.

The group had gone for a walk in the afternoon when three elephants stormed the group, News 24 reported. A fourth elephant stormed the group from the side and was shot. The animal grabbed Theunis Botha with its trunk, but collapsed and fell on him after being shot.

Botha was a specialist in hunting leopards with hounds. Game Hounds Safaris, Botha's company, said in a statement that he pioneered the hunts using packs of dogs in southern Africa.

According to News 24, Botha was well known in Zimbabwe and helped recruit Americans for trophy hunting. The 51-year-old was highly regarded for his hunts, The Telegraph reported.
'Here at NASA we all pee the same color.'  Al Harrison from the movie Hidden Figures.

Sir Slash

#6
May 22, 2017, 01:52:58 PM
So who gets to mount whom on the den wall?
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Ubercat

#7
May 22, 2017, 01:57:14 PM
I hope it took the F'er a while to die and he suffered while he was doing it.
"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labelled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today."

- Thomas Sowell
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