Transformers: The Last Knight

[BanzaiCat]

I did grow up with the animated show and when Bumblebee said 'shit' in the 1986 movie it rocked my 12 year old sensibilities. So...Netflix it is. Thanks all!

Errmm...that wasn't Bumblebee that said it. It was Spike.  :nerd:

[Gusington]

It was 30 years ago BRAH

[BanzaiCat]

But I remember it, broseph!

[Gusington]

You get the Dork Crown for the Day. I shall win it back by nightfall.

[Martok]

Oh, goody.  Let's see if all the boxes have been checked off... 


1.)  Bay's trademark gratuitous/pointless/redundant explosions?  Check. 

2.)  Jerky camera work that both gives you motion sickness plus makes it impossible figure out what the f*** is going on?  Check. 

3.)  It's revealed that Transformers have been around and influencing human history for longer and/or more profoundly than we realized?  Check. 

4.)  Humanity once again has suffered a collective Aesop Amnesia regarding how important the Autobots are to helping protect Earth from the Decepticons (thus leading humanity to metaphorically kick Prime in the balls, causing him to say "screw this!" and leave us to our well-deserved fate)?  Check. 

5.)  A lack of any other coherent plot point or storyline?  Check. 

6.)  But hey, we'll "get" to see a bastardized version of Unicron.  So that makes it all better.  >:( 

I've never seen any of these. Should I skip them all and go straight to the Netflix stuff?

Yes. 

The first Transformer wasn't too bad but after that they're all no better than average-- and I'm trying to be kind.

I confess I actually enjoyed both the 1st and 3rd Michael Bay films (although I admittedly probably wouldn't have liked Dark of the Moon nearly as much if Leonard Nimoy hadn't been in it).  Not that either one would ever merit an award, of course (unless it was perhaps for special effects), but I was able to enjoy them for the fun, mindless popcorn flicks that they are. 

On the other hand, the 2nd and 4th films were utter garbage,.  Revenge of the Fallen remains on my list of Top 10 Worst Movies of All Time, and possibly Age of Extinction as well (it's certainly in my Top 25, at any rate).   

[BanzaiCat]

I'd much rather sit through a marathon of the cheesy 80s Saturday morning cartoon than watch any of the Transformers movies again. After the last one, which we saw in theaters (hadn't seen any of the previous in theaters, only at home), I won't do it again.

[JasonPratt]

4.)  Humanity once again has suffered a collective Aesop Amnesia regarding how important the Autobots are to helping protect Earth from the Decepticons (thus leading humanity to metaphorically kick Prime in the balls, causing him to say "screw this!" and leave us to our well-deserved fate)?  Check.

Not that I blame you for blacking out part of the 4th movie, but Prime left on his own initiative to look for the creators of the Transformers. I suppose from the trailer they're going to a version of the plot from the original animated series, where the Pentathalons (or whatever they were) hack Prime's dead body and make it a zombie to attack the Autobots with -- but he overcomes and etc.

[Martok]

I'd much rather sit through a marathon of the cheesy 80s Saturday morning cartoon than watch any of the Transformers movies again. After the last one, which we saw in theaters (hadn't seen any of the previous in theaters, only at home), I won't do it again.

Agreed. 

...And yet, I have this terrible feeling I'll end up watching this monstrosity anyway.  Sigh. 

4.)  Humanity once again has suffered a collective Aesop Amnesia regarding how important the Autobots are to helping protect Earth from the Decepticons (thus leading humanity to metaphorically kick Prime in the balls, causing him to say "screw this!" and leave us to our well-deserved fate)?  Check.

Not that I blame you for blacking out part of the 4th movie, but Prime left on his own initiative to look for the creators of the Transformers.

Sorry, I should have made it clear that I was referring only to the first part about humanity undergoing a mass Aesop Amnesia.  I'm well aware that's not what really drove Prime to leave. 

[mirth]

I'm thinking of a Kickstarter to fund Michael Bay never making another movie

[jamus34]

Here's my issues with the Bay movies.

1) for movies about giant fucking robots there's a hell of a lot of people getting screen time. I'm going to a movie to see giant fucking robots, I could give a rats ass about Shia labouf or Megan Fox's posterior.

2) he's killed off so many of them we're down to the no names / 1 shotters. And don't get me started that they've brought Megatron back what 4 times now but all the originals are dead.

I actually appreciated the 4th movie a little more in that it did give the robots more screen time and John Goodman as hound's voice was perfect.

I agree with the consensus though that these are shit movies. I can't even use the excuse that they are fun popcorn films (like the fast and furious series) because they aren't even that.

[JasonPratt]

I've always contended that if all three of the original trilogy (maybe also the fourth) had been about the spec ops team (basically GI Joe), let's say with Megan Fox as the daughter of the team leader in a situation somewhat like in Armageddon, and then for the first movie a B plot that involved the President and the Australian hacker model (minus the cringey attempts at black humor), the films would have improved substantially.

Basically eliminate the Whitwicky plot(s). More time for the robots proportionately, too.

Even on that strategy, the Transformers themselves (the title freaking characters) needed more characterization work. But I'd be willing to cede the general lack of characterization in the first movie so far as it approached the topic from GIJoe(ish) meets alien robots. They're alien. Takes time to get to know them.

[Martok]

So apparently Prime is now being mind-controlled?  Maybe?  ::)   

[OJsDad]

The only thing I ever found good about the Transformer movies was that they made the military look competent and not like a bunch of morons.  Other than that, I've never been a big fan of them. 

[mirth]

I've never wanted to see a movie less.

[Sir Slash]

Transformers: The Last Transformers Movie. That I'd go see.