Tom Cruise is (somehow not) the Mummy!

Started by JasonPratt, December 01, 2016, 10:30:11 AM

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JasonPratt

More news on the Universal Monster Project (or whatever it's eventually called), which I just heard at second-or-third-hand from Bob Chipman (aka MovieBob) when, not too surprisingly, he included this film in his list of 2017 films that will probably suck. Don't know where he heard or read it, but his information is typically good, and it isn't like I've been trowling the internet myself for it.

* Johnny Depp == the Invisible Man (in a later film). Could be okay.

* Javier Bardem == Frankenstein monster (in a later film). Could be okay?

* That guy working for LadyMummy, played by Russell Crowe? He's playing Doctor Jekyll. That fact alone, and what it implies, already means the writers and/or producers have fundamentally misunderstood the characters they're working with. (Oh, they're Orczi and Kurtzman, the team behind half the Bayformer movies, Amazing Spider 2, and the first two Star Trek reboot films? Also a fact I don't think I knew until now. Also not a fact that gives me more confidence.)
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
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PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
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mirth

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

acctingman


Jarhead0331

Quote from: acctingman on May 19, 2017, 09:20:43 AM
Cruise needs to retire

Why? Putting his kooky religion aside, he makes outstanding films.
Grogheads Uber Alles
Semper Grog
"No beast is more alpha than JH." Gusington, 10/23/18


mirth

Quote from: Jarhead0331 on May 19, 2017, 09:22:13 AM
Quote from: acctingman on May 19, 2017, 09:20:43 AM
Cruise needs to retire

Why? Putting his kooky religion aside, he makes outstanding films.

Well, he can make outstanding films. I don't know if we need anymore Mission Impossibles :P

He was truly excellent in Collateral and I very much enjoyed Edge of Tomorrow.

No matter what you may think of the Scientology stuff,  he's a talented actor.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Nefaro

Mummy movie?  Sure.

Little mummy lady who's supposed to intimidate via duplicating irises?  *Sigh*  Unimpressed.


JasonPratt

I suspect she's supposed to be more of an anti-heroine (and a hypermagical sorceress), with Doctor Jekyll being the real Big Bad. Which is also a major misreading of J/H, but whatev. Recent footage shows that he'll Hyde out at some point in the film.
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

JasonPratt

Meanwhile... huh, Tom Cruise is (sort of) the Mummy!

Also, a lot more humor in this trailer than prior trailers would have had anyone at all believe.

Also, lol at the Tom Cruise "face" joke! (Scripts will often poke some humorous fun at his smile or face.)
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

JasonPratt

Early reviews starting to come in.

Stuckmann is eh, positive, liked a lot of it, including the Mummy herself, weak script between the action and interesting shots. C overall (which for him is only average, not bad.)

ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

mirth

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

JasonPratt

Jahns: "At the start of the movie it hit me -- this was the Uncharted movie that we're never going to get!"



His main problem is the uneven tone, bouncing between super-serious grimdark tragic horror and light bouncy action comedy. Also, it has trouble mixing a standalone film with CHAPTER ONE OF THE DARK UNIVVERRRSEEE! -- so, uneven that way, too.

"A better time when drunk."
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

mirth

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

mirth

http://www.indiewire.com/2017/06/the-mummy-review-tom-cruise-sofia-boutella-russell-crowe-dark-universe-1201838756/

QuoteCruise plays Nick Morton, a Nathan Drake wannabe with so little personality that he makes Brendan Fraser look like Errol Flynn.

ouch.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Sir Slash

I didn't know Scientologists had Mummys and Daddys. I thought they were a product of spontaneous combustion.  :o
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

JudgeDredd

Quote from: Jarhead0331 on May 19, 2017, 09:22:13 AM
Quote from: acctingman on May 19, 2017, 09:20:43 AM
Cruise needs to retire

Why? Putting his kooky religion aside, he makes outstanding films.
100% agree. I think Tom Cruise is a superb actor and hasn't got many bad movies behind him (imo).
Alba gu' brath