Recent Posts

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10
1
Hmm good point, let me check...

Shit
2
A teenage girl was having sex with her boyfriend at her parent's house. Her father, after being woken by the noises, goes upstairs to check it out; and walks in on them.

"Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "...I'm sorry"

The dad being, a dad, replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!"

He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"
3
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.'

Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do.. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!'

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'No Kidding,' he said.

'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'
4
Tech Talk / Windows 10 laptop issues
« Last post by BanzaiCat on Today at 06:06:31 PM »
Anyone here have some possible fixes for the following?

Had a storm come through and somehow it disconnected the connection it had with the router. It would not reconnect, even though the router was fine and other devices worked fine on it. Rebooted the laptop and it reconnected, but then several other issues have been happening:

- When Microsoft Edge is opened, it immediately closes.
- Can't type anything in the 'Type here to search' bar at the bottom (it won't even display a cursor)
- Tried accessing the Settings window to check some things out, but that window closes after about 5 seconds. I can get about a level or two in before it does that but I can't get anything to launch in it.

I've no idea what the heck is up with this thing and dicked around with it for at least an hour.

It's not my laptop so I've no real feel for it anyway. Any suggestions would be most appreciated.
5
Current Events / Re: What's Cool in Science This Week?
« Last post by Barthheart on Today at 04:53:47 PM »
That's what keeps me in a job and able to buy beer.  :bd:
6
Current Events / Re: What's Cool in Science This Week?
« Last post by GDS_Starfury on Today at 04:42:24 PM »
if they knew what the hell they were talking about they would keep changing the rule set ever few years.
7
Current Events / Re: What's Cool in Science This Week?
« Last post by Barthheart on Today at 04:25:37 PM »
Physicists... I'm an engineer but that's what hey tell me...
8
Current Events / Re: What's Cool in Science This Week?
« Last post by GDS_Starfury on Today at 04:21:15 PM »
Then who's to say they aren't somehow linked?
9
Pubic hair.

Duh.

You have pubic hair?  :wow:
10
Pubic hair.

Duh.
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10