Han Solo Movie

[Sir Slash]

That pretty much says it all.

[JasonPratt]

Early reviews are reviewing! -- faces on some review snapshots do not look hopeful.  :hide:

Then there's RLM's preliminary joke non-review.  >:D

(No spoilers here because this isn't really a review, it's a joke video about them faking a review early for the views.)

[JudgeDredd]

Movie Bob liked it

[JasonPratt]

Not too surprised, and yet the first 1:25 sure sounds like he couldn't give the slightest poot for it.

[Sir Slash]

Glad to hear it doesn't suck and might be a winner. It's on my list now.

[Nefaro]

Voxis "Professor Tosspot" review.   

(spoilers)

(Edited for repost of video - probably some chickenshit copyright complaint on the original)

[JasonPratt]

Saw it yesterday afternoon with Bro. I'll probably save the Fraternally Anticipated Questions non-spoiler review for later (other things to do this morning), but we both liked it quite a lot, and I'm someone who was highly disappointed and endlessly annoyed by TLJ.

The internet backlash against Solo is, in this case, overblown I think, and really just a continuing backlash from TLJ.

[mirth]

Solo left alone at the box office

http://variety.com/2018/film/box-office/solo-a-star-wars-story-box-office-deadpool-2-avengers-infinity-war-1202823304/

[mirth]

https://twitter.com/ErikKestner/status/1000775412375572480

[JasonPratt]

^Lol'd.

Solo deserves better than that, though. Easily on par with Rogue One. Perhaps not surprisingly, since the Kasdans were heavily involved in the scripts of both films (and received sole writing credit for Solo.)

[mirth]

Star Wars fatigue has set in. Even my kids aren't clamoring to see Solo.

[W8taminute]

Yeah I'm not wasting my time or money on this one.

[bbmike]

Not surprised considering the last movie they put out. I'll see this one but it might be my last.

[JasonPratt]

Allow me then to be of help with my patented non-spoilery FAQy format review:


DID YOU GO INTO THIS FILM WITH TREPIDATION THANKS TO THE LAST JEDI AND THE GODAWFUL DRAMA AROUND THE MAKING OF THIS FILM?

Yes, O fictional voice in my head. I did. If my brother hadn't wanted to go see it, I might have skipped it until, gosh, who knows when. I saw Transformers 5 at least a year after its release, and several months after I received its Blu completely free for Christmas. This, by the way, turned out to be a mistake. I was reasonably entertained by T5, and curious to see a grand finale (which may or may not ever come now).

ARE YOU COMPARING SOLO'S QUALITY TO THE MOST RECENT MICHAEL BAY TRANSFORMERS FILM?!?

No, Solo is still arguably better than that, don't worry.

BETTER THAN THE LAST JEDI?

Parsecs better. Kind of a miracle considering its production history, I know.

PARSECS ARE A DISTANCE, NOT A TIMEFRAME, BUT EVIDENTLY YOU KNOW THAT, UNLIKE GEORGE LUCAS WHEN HE WROTE STAR WARS (tm).

The Kasdans, for whatever reason, received sole (though not solo, har) screenwriting credit on this film, and that helps a lot. They actually retconned that dumb offhand remark from what's now called Ep 4, about making the Kessel Run in 13 parsecs, so that it makes total sense.

HOW!?!!?

By spoilers.

OKAY FINE.

I mean that somewhat literally.

INTRIGUING.

I know, right? It's like an elder Lovecraftian god got involved!

HA HA H-- WAIT, WHAT? THAT ANALOGY MADE NO SENSE...

I mean that somewhat literally.

ARE THOSE THE TENTACLE THINGS FROM THE TRAILER?!

Any inference you draw from my coy teasing non-spoilers is yours to make and--

BECAUSE WE RECALL RED LETTER MEDIA MAKING FUN OF PREDICTING WHAT THE TRAILER AND THE FILM WOULD INVOLVE, AND THAT SEEMS TO INVOLVE THE KESSEL RUN!

The RLM guys were quite correct on many things, and actually didn't go far enough with their mocking guesses.

LIKE HOW?! AND CAN YOU REALLY RESPECT A FILM THAT SEEMS DESIGNED TO FULFILL A SET OF SATIRE VIDEOS BY RLM!?

I'm as surprised as the voices in the head about this, but yes I can! However, I will spoil a detail where I thought the filmmakers went way too far trying to cram in callbacks. The stupid metallic dice.

OH. MY. GOD. THOSE THINGS ANNOY OUR EVERY LAST URBANITY!

For a minor bit of set decoration that no one called the slightest bit of attention to in the original SW, and which played no part of anything afterward, and which played a truly retarded part of The Last Jedi simply in order to spoof the audience and then which went on beyond their original spoofy purview to somehow make even less anti-sense in context (...or, uh, more anti-sense... even moar less sense...) I cringed the moment the camera introduced them with a lingering fond zoom-in. Before we even see not-Jack-Black's face as Solo. I had a bad feeling about that.

AS EVERY SANE HUMAN BEING WOULD!

The camera kept showing them off during the opening scene, too. But wait! The true insanity has not been revealed!

...DOES THIS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE ELDER LOVECRAFTIAN GOD?!

... ..... not in the film, no, but if someone made a joke about Disney as a corporation here, I'd try to laugh.

OKAY THEN!

The film not only tries to establish, retroactively, for the sake of The Last Jedi, how important those fake dice are, but ten minutes into the film the dice are left behind and are never once seen again.

THAT IS A MOST IMPRESSIVE DISPLAY OF SHAMELESS AND MISGUIDED PANDERING!

Your ironic Darth Vader impression is apt. To be fair, my memory keeps trying to insist I might have seen them hung in the Falcon's cockpit at the end of the film, but I can't distinguish that from bitter imagination, so -- there's literally no reason, in the film, for them to be there during that scene, even if I'm not imagining it, so it doesn't matter. It remains a shamefur dispray.

DO RACIST-SOUNDING ACCENTS SHOW UP IN THE FILM?!

...um, now that you mention it, I think they might, but not so in-my-face that I remember clearly. That sort of thing only bothers me when I can't understand the dialogue, but I know other people are annoyed by it, so good question, thanks.

DOES DARTH VADER SHOW UP IN THE FILM, OR WOULD THAT BE A SPOILER IF YOU SAID YES OR NO ONE WAY OR ANOTHER?

Yes.

...WAIT, THAT ANSWER COULD MEAN ANYTHING!

True.

WE'RE ONLY ASKING BECAUSE THIS FILM SHOULD TAKE PLACE DURING VADER'S MID-LIFE PER SE.

A reasonable expectation to see him, then, I agree. I mean, considering that this film is fan-bait and reference-heavy, not that it makes sense for a small-time smuggler to get involved with a dark side force using Sith Lord somehow.

ALSO SUPPOSEDLY THERE'S A SECRET CAMEO TO MAKE FANS SQUEE, SO--

Oh, that! As a matter of fact, the cameo makes sense, and was squee-worthy, although only in the much larger context of what does and doesn't count as "canon" nowadays. Bro was both surprised, impressed, and absolutely confused about the secret cameo. I was a little less confused but only because I just happened to have picked up a little context of expanded canon over recent years.

...WELL, THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE DARTH VADER...

This character does not sound like Darth Vader, true.

...IS IT C-3P0? MARK HAMILL RATHER BRATTILY SPOILED THAT HE'S IN THE FILM, CONTINUING HIS STREAK OF BEING IN EVERY STAR WARS FILM, YOU KNOW.

I know. I'm sure I saw Anthony Daniels in the film, and Bro and I confirmed he was in it it during the cast scroll in the credits. Warwick Davis, however, was lamentably miscast.

...WHAT?!

I mean, he's clearly a fine actor, and a role could have been written for him, and maybe it will be if this film gets a sequel (which it might), but he only has one speaking line. It's a damned shame. Nice to see he's responsible for jump-starting the rebellion, but even then not primarily responsible--

WHAT!?!

Look, it's a long story, just see the movie.

BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS MOVIE IS UTTER TRIPE!

No, I'm sorry, I know I was making it sound awful from my sardonic commentary there, but it isn't tripe. It's... well, except for the lead 'human' actors being very second-rate, I'd kind of put it up near the top of the films. It makes more sense overall than Rogue One, although it doesn't look quite as sharp -- nor as sharp as Force Awakens, but I'd rank it solidly over that. For a pandery reference film, it's more original than ForcA.

SO WOULD YOU GO SEE IT AGAIN IN THEATERS?!?

No, but only because the settings are so muddy and dark and dreary (for the most part) that I often had trouble seeing what was going on. I expect it will look better at home on Blu, and unlike TLJ I'm ready to pre-order this thing!

HUH! BUT YOU GRIT YOUR TEETH HAVING TO ENDURE RADICAL-LEFT CULTURAL PROPAGANDA PRETENDING IT'S STILL THE COUNTERCULTURE REBELLING AGAINST TYRANNY!

True, and I don't exonerate the whole franchise (especially the original trilogy) for its role in this never-ending mess. However...

BUT THIS FILM HAS A FEMINIST ROBOT!

...kinnnnd of but not exactly, but also yeah an activist droid...

WHOSE NAME IS LEET! LIKE VIDEO-GAMER "LEET"SPEAK!

This is a production joke, she isn't called that in the film. I actually liked her character a lot. She brings out the series' long-running but barely-visible acidic criticism of the main characters for treating clearly-sentient androids as slaves (or even worse than slaves sometimes), and there are actual consequences for this in the story. I was impressed.

OUR... OUR MINDS ARE DYING!!

The fictional voices in my head might do well to recall that I'm not really as deplorable as the Clintons would like to pretend I am. ;)

BUT LANDO IS A PANSEXUAL! THE PRODUCERS THEMSELVES MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS IN THEIR MARKETING!

First, it actually wouldn't bother me much if he was: he's meant to be a sleazy playa', so, sure, why not, as long as I'm not expected to watch it. It would be a bit of a stretch but within his established character range.

Second, though -- it isn't in the film. I mean, at all. He's a ladies man, who flirts with females, but not really with non-humanoid females, and that's it. One of his friends quips that he's flirting with Han, but that's clearly delivered like an annoyed fellow-military joke. L3-37 (who likes to throw innuendos around for fun) flirts with him, but not really vice-versa -- and Lando seems annoyed by it. "Leet" confesses privately that she has romantic feelings for Lando, but is also super-clear that he doesn't reciprocate them: they're just good friends. It's a genuinely touching character moment, at least for me.

And what does "pansexual" even mean in this context anyway? Lando likes Twi'lek girls?! EVERYONE IN STAR WARS LIKE THEM! They're designed to pander to most male fans, too! That doesn't mean every fan who thinks Twi'lieks are hot, are "pansexual". There are slinky hot alien humanoids in most or all of the films (possibly excluding Eps 4 and 5, I can't recall for sure. I mean originally, they're added to the special additions.) This isn't a groundbreaking radical-left representational achievement. This is cheap promotional blather. Anyone going to the films hoping for an identity politics agenda will be disappointed, or seeing things not there (at least in this regard). Maybe this was in the original footage but scrapped when the director of freaking Da Vinci Code came on board? -- but I find that unlikely.

... ....... WHAT THE HELL IS A TWI-LICK?!

sigh.



...OH.

I included a small sample in case some of the links ever break down. For exhibition's sake. I mean illustration. Of what I mean. By Twi'lek.

...OH MY.

Congratulations. You are now exactly as pansexual as Lando Calrissian in the new Star Wars film. You may signal your progressive superior virtue now.

...ARE YOU SURE THOSE AREN'T STAR TREK?!

sigh.

HEY! -- IS EMMA WATSON IN THIS FILM AS A TWI-HARD?!

No, this is just the internet. ...well, maybe not. I'm pretty sure that's photoshopped, but stars have been doing uncredited cameos in Star Wars for a while, so, who knows.

THIS IS BY FAR YOUR BEST REVIEW EVER!

I like to think I'm just as insightful and incisive in all my reviews, but... this is because of the photos, isn't it?

[bbmike]

Now THAT'S a Prattian post!  O0