The Love that dare not speak it's name

Started by besilarius, March 30, 2018, 06:53:16 AM

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besilarius

March 30, 2018, 06:53:16 AM
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Staggerwing

#1
March 30, 2018, 08:40:32 AM
Incoming Bearded Clam joke from one of the Usual Suspects in 10... 9... 8... 7..
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

Ubercat

#2
March 30, 2018, 08:49:42 AM
Meh. The comments in that article were pretty pathetic. People here will put their sad puns to shame.
"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labelled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today."

- Thomas Sowell

Gusington

#3
March 30, 2018, 08:55:50 AM
I like turtles. Not in that way.
✡

слава Україна!

We can't live under the threat of a c*nt because he's threatening nuclear Armageddon.

-JudgeDredd

Sir Slash

#4
March 30, 2018, 11:07:24 AM
Clam no. Octopus... maybe.  They can at least hug you. The clam probably mistook the diver's penis for a rude shrimp.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Steelgrave

#5
March 30, 2018, 12:54:07 PM
I automatically assumed this was a Starfury thread  8)

JasonPratt

#6
March 30, 2018, 01:25:15 PM
Quote from: Sir Slash on March 30, 2018, 11:07:24 AM
Clam no. Octopus... maybe.  They can at least hug you.

Look up "octopus beak", and resubmit.  :timeout: :hide:
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

Sir Slash

#7
March 30, 2018, 02:07:48 PM
OK, but no worse than some of my old girlfriends.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Windigo

#8
April 04, 2018, 01:00:08 PM
my first response was WTF? That's just wrong - what an idiot. I blame the internet and people looking for sublime experiences.
thanks for posting this one though, it was a real pearl.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

besilarius

#9
May 05, 2018, 02:11:45 PM Last Edit: May 05, 2018, 02:14:13 PM by besilarius
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

GDS_Starfury

#10
May 06, 2018, 06:34:33 AM
oh lord wont you get me a Mercedes Benz
my friends are fucking Porches
and I must make amends
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

besilarius

#11
May 06, 2018, 07:47:09 AM
That guy is probably in need of a thorough lube job.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Sir Slash

#12
May 06, 2018, 10:51:05 PM
No, that's the newest device to keep Sex Offenders from driving 'Perverted'. You stick your Penis into the tailpipe and a tiny sensor checks to see if you can drive safely without being distracted by attractive members of the opposite or same sex, public statues, or barnyard animals. It's called a, "Peter Reader Meter". Most people just use 'PRM'.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

besilarius

#13
May 07, 2018, 06:19:46 PM
Kansas City enters the fray.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Sir Slash

#14
May 07, 2018, 06:34:29 PM
OUCH!  :hide:
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.
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