The Consolidated WTF Thread

Started by bayonetbrant, July 25, 2017, 02:42:08 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ubercat

Here's one of my best stories and definitely a WTF experience for me. I'd forgotten about it for years but it popped into my head a couple of days ago.

About 24 years ago I was living in west Philly and walking home alone. It was broad daylight. I was in a residential neighborhood; houses one after the other and cars parked up and down the street.

I'm strolling along, minding my own business, when I hear a female voice say "Hi, sexy!"
I pause, look around and see no one, that was weird.
Start walking again, three steps, "Hi, sexy!"
I stop again and look around. I start examining the upper stories of the nearest houses. Is someone in a second floor window?
Seeing no one, I start walking again, two steps, "Hi, sexy!"
I stop again, What the hell is going on??, I look around again, and then I notice the nearest car. The windows are down and there's a little girl sitting in it, about five years old. Next to her is a boy, probably about 7. I'm guessing he was her brother. As soon as I notice them the girl says "Hi, sexy!" and giggles. I raise my hand to wave, a little awkwardly, and say "Uhhh.., Hi".

And then the little boy sets me straight. He looks me right in the eye and says, very seriously, "She doesn't really think that you're sexy."

:DD
"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labelled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today."

- Thomas Sowell

Martok

^  I was so waiting for the "woman" to turn out to be a parrot.  :2funny:  Still a good story, though! 
"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

bayonetbrant

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Staggerwing

Now there's something you don't see every day.
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

Sir Slash

Those Tacoma statues always play so... hard... to get. The statues here in Fla. are easier but sometimes they turnout to be old people that are just asleep.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

mirth

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

MikeGER

#21
Quote from: bayonetbrant on August 11, 2017, 06:24:48 PM
https://twitter.com/tacomastories/status/896132959249457154

aged Antifa members start to molest "Southern Belle"-like monuments as a new form of 'protest'  in the lack of proper Confederate monuments to befoul in their area  ::)

bayonetbrant

Quote from: MikeGER on August 16, 2017, 06:49:40 AM
aged Antifa members start to molest "Southern Belle"-like monuments as a new form of 'protest'  in the lack of proper Confederate monuments to befoul in their area  ::)

you have no idea where Tacoma is, do you?
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

MikeGER

Quote from: bayonetbrant on August 16, 2017, 07:33:38 AM
Quote from: MikeGER on August 16, 2017, 06:49:40 AM
aged Antifa members start to molest "Southern Belle"-like monuments as a new form of 'protest'  in the lack of proper Confederate monuments to befoul in their area  ::)

you have no idea where Tacoma is, do you?

i have, its in WA 
far from the south, that's why its only a "Southern Belle"-like monument ...the local Antifa usually don't have the funds to operate abroad so they have go creative :P


bayonetbrant

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Martok

Quote from: bayonetbrant on August 17, 2017, 06:00:01 AM
I don't know if this is legit, but it should be

http://www.telegraphsun.com/elgin-illinois-man-booked-prostitute-turned-wife/
Bwahaha!  Reading that story made me immediately think "Jerry Springer Show". 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

mirth

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Sir Slash

"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Windigo

My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.