All those mortician jokes? They are true

Started by besilarius, October 01, 2017, 09:43:18 PM

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Ubercat

There was a mortician in my Navy boot camp company. He had perhaps the biggest fattest head I've ever seen. He definitely wore the biggest size sailor hat in the company. Why he chose to quit such a specialized job and become a lowly squid I will never know.
"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labelled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago, and a racist today."

- Thomas Sowell

Gusington



слава Україна!

We can't live under the threat of a c*nt because he's threatening nuclear Armageddon.

-JudgeDredd

Sir Slash

Mortician is a tough job. You have to learn to not take your work home with you.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

Hofstadter

Okay I dont want to be THAT guy, but are we aware that that site is satirical in nature
My wargaming channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx_VZ48DOrINe4XA7Bvf99A

"I earned the right to shoot Havoc!"

Staggerwing

Quote from: Hofstadter on October 04, 2017, 12:40:48 AM
Okay I dont want to be THAT guy, but are we aware that that site is satirical in nature

I was gonna say something as well but the guys were having too much fun and I didn't want to spoil it.
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

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I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
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BanzaiCat

It's okay to prick the bubble and burst it...it doesn't take much to get a pun train running around here, regardless of the validity of the news source.  :)

Hofstadter

It's a massive peeve of mine, I see people link stuff in news forums going "OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS"

Then the circlejerk of outrage begins and I'm left in the corner, gasping, withering...wasting away. "Plz...check the source...its not that hard"
My wargaming channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx_VZ48DOrINe4XA7Bvf99A

"I earned the right to shoot Havoc!"

BanzaiCat


Sir Slash

Right. Some Viagra would help with that lack of 'hardness' there Hof.  ;D  I think the rule is Penises and Morticians REQUIRES pun-trains. And this group routinely exceeds requirements in all things.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.