Why Your Team Sucks 2015

Started by mirth, August 13, 2015, 07:26:44 PM

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mirth

August 13, 2015, 07:26:44 PM
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Centurion40

#1
August 14, 2015, 07:15:35 AM
Loved the pic of the Jets fan!  ;D
Any time is a good time for pie.

BanzaiCat

#2
August 14, 2015, 08:01:12 AM
Can't wait to hear what they have to say about the Texans...  >:(

Marty Ward

#3
August 19, 2015, 12:07:21 PM
Great site. It's no Pro Football Mock but it is pretty damn funny. Love the comments.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

If women had apostrophes instead of periods they would be even more possessive!

mirth

#4
August 19, 2015, 12:52:59 PM Last Edit: August 19, 2015, 12:55:08 PM by mirth
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on August 14, 2015, 08:01:12 AM
Can't wait to hear what they have to say about the Texans...  >:(

Here ya go - http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-houston-texans-1724117994

QuoteYour 2014 record: 9-7. That record translates to 16-0 if you plug in anything better than a desk lamp at quarterback.

QuotePicture a black hole in outer space. Now picture that black hole getting sucked into an even greater black hole. That is the Texans offense.

:2funny:
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

bayonetbrant

#5
August 19, 2015, 12:56:29 PM
Quote from: Marty Ward on August 19, 2015, 12:07:21 PMIt's no Pro Football Mock

Well yeah.  These guys have published something since February... unlike PFM
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

BanzaiCat

#6
August 19, 2015, 01:05:17 PM
I can't dispute anything in the article itself. Some of us think JJ Watt is some closet serial killer that likes to wear the skins of dead children and puppies. He's just too good to be true.

I especially cannot find any faults (except one) in this part of his article:

QuoteAnd fuck Houston! Houston is our largest unlivable city. It's a fly-ridden goo swamp populated by obese wannabe cowboys who are constantly digging into a tin of Skoal. It has everything bad about a tropic-zone city with none of the good: palm trees with no beaches, skimpy clothing without attractive people, etc. There are no zoning laws. You can build a titty bar inside an elementary school.(1) Every rich person there is a despicable oil whore. Rodeo Cookoff History is a required high school course. It's a horrible place.

Here now is one co-worker's Houston story:

"So once I was in Houston on MLK day. And a friend of a friend from Houston said we should go to Popeyes for 'He Be We Be' day. I say what the hell is 'He Be We Be' day. He goes: 'He be dead, we be off'. I don't know that guy but he grew up in Houston."

Sounds like Houston to me! Sounds like the PERFECT town for J.J. Watt. Houston can eat shit.

(1) Technically, there has to be 1,500 feet between schools and 'adult' type businesses.

Marty Ward

#7
August 19, 2015, 01:07:22 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on August 19, 2015, 12:56:29 PM
Quote from: Marty Ward on August 19, 2015, 12:07:21 PMIt's no Pro Football Mock

Well yeah.  These guys have published something since February... unlike PFM

Didn't PFM says they were ending their Facebook QB convo's last year? That was the only reason to visit it.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.

If women had apostrophes instead of periods they would be even more possessive!

BanzaiCat

#8
August 19, 2015, 01:08:30 PM
They did, indeed, say they were ending it, unfortunately. I'm hoping he was joking.

mirth

#9
August 19, 2015, 01:56:13 PM
Looks like it's not just the FB stuff - http://profootballmock.com/thats-all-folks/
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

airboy

#10
August 29, 2015, 10:59:10 AM
Thanks for posting this.  Lots of fun!

GDS_Starfury

#11
September 01, 2015, 10:25:44 AM
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on August 14, 2015, 08:01:12 AM
Can't wait to hear what they have to say about the Texans...  >:(

to be fair theres really nothing to say about the Texans.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

Arctic Blast

#12
September 01, 2015, 01:22:07 PM
^^That JJ Watt sure is something! And...uhhh...I'm sure they have...other players?

BanzaiCat

#13
September 01, 2015, 04:16:20 PM
Quote from: Arctic Blast on September 01, 2015, 01:22:07 PM
^^That JJ Watt sure is something! And...uhhh...I'm sure they have...other players?

Well, there's Brian Hoy...uh...

Um, there's Arian Fos...oh, wait...

Hmmm...no. No, not really.
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