Mail Buoy Watch

Started by besilarius, January 27, 2018, 09:06:31 AM

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besilarius

MAIL BUOY WATCH!

Established shortly after the introduction of steam powered ships, the US Navy Mail Buoy Watch forms the backbone of the Defense Department's efforts to keep US Sailors at sea from completely losing their minds.

Cut off from televisions, magazines and text messages, Sailors at sea undergo a unique level of stress.

In an effort to mitigate the affects of isolation, the US Navy established the Mail Buoy Watch.

This watch helps to ensure the timely delivery of the US Mail and helps keep a Sailor in constant contact with bill collectors, tax collectors, overly involved parents, jealous girlfriends, nagging spouses and random attorneys.

Mail buoy watch standing in the US Navy is normally performed by junior enlisted and junior officers who have yet to complete the Personnel Qualification Standards (PQS) for the more complicated watches aboard ship.

The simplicity of the mail buoy watch makes it an ideal fit for the Sailor who recently arrived from boot camp, "A" school or the Naval Academy.

In a nutshell, the Mail Buoy Watch stands at or near the bow of the ship with an AN-141 Recovery Wand.

The watch stander then looks for the mail buoy and notifies the bridge when he or she has located it.

The bridge then alters course to recover the mail buoy. When the ship approaches the buoy, the Mail Buoy Watch recovers it with the recovery wand.

NOW SET THE MAIL BUOY WATCH!
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Staggerwing

A pole with a hook? I thought the Navy used million-dollar aircraft to deliver mail to each vessel underway, spare no expense.
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bbmike

How long does it normally take them to realize they are on a Snipe hunt?
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bayonetbrant

Quote from: bbmike on January 27, 2018, 09:11:21 AM
How long does it normally take them to realize they are on a Snipe hunt?

Most enlisted rates?  Probably not too long.

Ensigns?  A few weeks.

Naval Academy grads?   They want to know how they're supposed to continue standing that watch after the ship docks back in Norfolk.
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besilarius

The lengths people would go to prank newbies was impressive.
On Manley (DD940), there was a pair of identical twins (Macejewski I think).
When a newb had the job of messenger of the watch, there was a standard progression.  First he was sent to the paint locker for a bucket of relative bearing grease.
There he was told that none was on hand.  Try after steering, and on.
The thing was evil because one of the twins was always there, sipping coffee.  He never said a word.  Most messengers came to a sudden realisation that this guy was always there ahead of him, on the third or fourth place.
One notable dim bulb never noticed that this guy was in every space he went to.  Totally oblivious.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.