Weird night...

[Sir Slash]

So sorry for your loss SirAndrew. The days ahead will be hard and stressful for you and your family but the way to defeat this tragedy is not let it remain a tragedy. Find the strength and courage to do something, even if it's a very small thing, somewhere to make the world BETTER because of it, despite the pain. People around you will take note and be themselves encouraged and thus stronger because of it. If some small gain comes because of it then your loss will not have been meaningless.

[acctingman]

Sorry to hear about your loss SirAndrew.

My father was a life long smoker and also developed COPD and lost his battle with both a couple years ago. He was 74 but his quality of life started to decline in his early 60's.

[Gusington]

My condolences, D.

[bob48]

Please accept my condolences on your loss.

[SirAndrewD]

Thanks guys. 

It looks like we'll have to arrange for my Dad's wife and her family to have one funeral, and my Dad's family and my extended family to have our own. 

I really wish I didn't have to deal with the first things his wife told me on the phone call this morning being "You're paying for this right?"

After all the pressure gets off of me from family members, I might have a moment to grieve. 

Thanks for your support though.  Grogs stay united. 

[Dammit Carl!]

"You're paying for this right?"

Oh man.  Dealt with this issue (both the passing of my Father and his twat wife pawning his funeral off on me and my Aunt) myself this past Christmas.

So, so very sorry as this sort of thing is the veritable icing on the shit-cake that is dealing with unexpected deaths and none-too-friendly families.

>:(

[em2nought]

Well, my Dad died this morning in his sleep. 

Thanks to everyone that offered support.  Going to have to try to take the next step now.  His wife isn't making it easy on me.

I'm sorry for your loss.  We lost my brother just that quickly to testicular cancer way back.  My dad died in his sleep the next decade.  My mom still sleeps in the same bed, and I hope one day that's the same peaceful way she goes too.  My sister and niece visited mom recently.  Mom told me she thinks they didn't think they'll ever see her again because they hugged her so tight saying goodbye.  I'm sorry your dad's wife is making it hard on you, I worry that my "other" sister will do the same to me someday.  If it's any consolation you're not alone in the boat.

[RommelFox]

Thanks guys. 

It looks like we'll have to arrange for my Dad's wife and her family to have one funeral, and my Dad's family and my extended family to have our own. 

I really wish I didn't have to deal with the first things his wife told me on the phone call this morning being "You're paying for this right?"

After all the pressure gets off of me from family members, I might have a moment to grieve. 

Thanks for your support though.  Grogs stay united.

I'm so sorry to hear about your father, and I'm also sorry to hear about his wife.  There's always a troublemaker in every family.

Hang in there, and you'll get through it.

[bbmike]

"You're paying for this right?"

Oh man.  Dealt with this issue (both the passing of my Father and his twat wife pawning his funeral off on me and my Aunt) myself this past Christmas.

So, so very sorry as this sort of thing is the veritable icing on the shit-cake that is dealing with unexpected deaths and none-too-friendly families.

>:(

My condolences to you too, Dammit Carl!. That sucks.

[besilarius]

So very sorry to hear about this personal loss.  Hang in there.  We're always her if you need to vent, or would like support.

[Toonces]

Damn, man, that sucks all around.  Hang in there, bro.

[Staggerwing]

My deepest sympathies SirAndrewD. As well to those that you hold dear who also mourn.

I hope you get through this funeral experience and out the other side as soon as possible. Afterwards you can leave that 'wife' of his far back in your rear view mirror and peaceably grieve your father's passing at your own pace and in your own way.

[Sir Slash]

You could always tell the 'Wife', "I'll pay if you go with him". JUST KIDDING. I predict that she will probably want as much control of the arraignments as possible in which case you can tell her, politely, "If I'm paying, then it goes my way". The more say so she wants, the more financial responsibility she has. But don't let her be an example for the rest of your family. You guys do what you all think your Father would really want so that afterward like you say, you can grieve and then put this behind you. My 2 cents.

[SirAndrewD]

You could always tell the 'Wife', "I'll pay if you go with him". JUST KIDDING. I predict that she will probably want as much control of the arraignments as possible in which case you can tell her, politely, "If I'm paying, then it goes my way". The more say so she wants, the more financial responsibility she has. But don't let her be an example for the rest of your family. You guys do what you all think your Father would really want so that afterward like you say, you can grieve and then put this behind you. My 2 cents.

Sadly, our interactions with her ceased to be rational.  When my wife called her today she essentially kept her voice at a scream and informed us that we weren't invited to anything that she's going to arrange on her own because we're "ungrateful" and "Worthless" and a myriad of other pretty rough things. 

I guess with the leash requiring her to be polite to me and my wife that existed when my Dad was alive has expired.   I always had an inkling that she didn't like us because of his connection to my late mother, I just never imagined it was this dark. 

So, yeah, things are being made harder than it should be.  It's sadly not what my Dad would've wanted, but I get a sneaky suspicion that a few of his late in life conversations with me he was sideways warning me this might happen.  He knew who he was married to.

It's pretty much as you say, it looks like she can do her own thing, and then my family will do mine.  When she drove my wife to tears she pretty much ended any sympathy or desire to provide her with any sharing of the finances.

[bayonetbrant]

So sorry to hear about your father, and it sounds like his wife is a real piece of work that's going to just make this even harder.

Prayers sent, and hoping there can be some sort of resolution