"WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!" -- Lindsey Ellis autopsies the Hobbit trilogy

[JasonPratt]

As the first film of the Hobbit trilogy approached release, Lindsey Ellis (aka the Nostalgia Chick) launched one of her most popular video series, a longform critical look at the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Six years later, the long-expected critical poke at the Hobbit trilogy begins. 

(I should probably add that despite its several acknowledged problems, I much enjoy the Hobbit trilogy myself.)

[Ubercat]

I thought those movies were basically just the most expensive Saturday morning cartoons ever produced. After the original LotR trilogy, they were an enormous letdown. PJ squandered a great opportunity to continue the magic, IMO.

[Sir Slash]

They weren't bad. Just not great. The third one was the best of the lot.

[JasonPratt]

They weren't bad. Just not great. The third one was the best of the lot.

Also the shortest (of all 6 films) and most R-ratedest (in the director's cut)!

It also makes me sad that we'll probably never see another update/remake to the BATTLE FOR MIDDLE-EARTH rts game.  :'(

[Sir Slash]

I didn't see the Director's cut. What was in it 'R' rated? Elf boobies? Hopefully NOT Dwarf butt-crack.  :hide:

[jamus34]

I didn't see the Director's cut. What was in it 'R' rated? Elf boobies? Hopefully NOT Dwarf butt-crack.  :hide:

Even worse. Orc crack

[Sir Slash]

Butt or teeth?

[JasonPratt]

I didn't see the Director's cut. What was in it 'R' rated? Elf boobies? Hopefully NOT Dwarf butt-crack.  :hide:

No, they had that (edited to clarify: dwarven butt-crack, not elf boobies) in the first movie without it being rated R. (Though maybe it was unrated, I don't recall. I'll check when I get home.)

The R-rating for the director's cut, is thanks to a new sequence added to the battle where the dwarf strike team needs to get across enemy lines to scale the tower-cliff where Bolg (or whatever his name was, the primary antagonist of the trilogy) is strategically directing his troops with semaphores. Balin (or Dwalin, I forgot which one was the older dwarf veteran with the white hair) finds a dwarven battlewagon, pulled by mountain goats, and ferries the team across about five miles of field through various threats. The scythes on the wheels make a bloody mess of enemies occasionally, including decapitating some giants, and red-blooded decapitations or similar head wounds are an automatic R-rating from the MPAA. (Compare with the orc decapitations elsewhere in the series starting with Fellowship, up through Desolation in the preceding film: no blood, or else black ichor.) Naturally, PJ and his crew were shooting for this rating as their little farewell wink to the series, since they had had fun pushing the ratings system to its limit on prior LotR/Hobbit films.

Hobbit 3 also has the only overt cursing, at least by American standards, in the series, courtesy of Dain Ironfoot. His director's cut "bastards" is missing from the theatrical cut, but the British curse "sod off" was included since Americans wouldn't know what that meant.

[Sir Slash]

I know what it means. It means the grass 'sod' you want for your yard has fallen 'off' the truck. Kind of a strange insult, but it is Kiwi Land after all.  ;D   Thanks for the info Jason.

[Gusington]

'Dwarf Strike Team'

I need to join that after I retire from Gus Team Seal.

[mirth]

You're never retiring from Gus Team Seal.

[Gusington]

Can I moonlight on the Dwarf Strike Team?

[mirth]

You'll need to clear that with the Groginati Security Council.

[Gusington]

So much paperwork.

[mirth]

In triplicate.