April Fools: GrogHeads announces sale of the website

Started by bayonetbrant, April 01, 2015, 08:49:54 AM

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bayonetbrant

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bbmike

Excellent! I hope the new owners can finally fix the slow site loading/Tapatalk problem.  ^-^
"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence."
-Sherlock Holmes

"You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets."
-Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

"There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you!"
-The Doctor

"Before Man goes to the stars he should learn how to live on Earth."
-Clifford D. Simak

MikeGER

#2
...and the price was just 1 , wasn't it  ;)

bob48

'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

Al

I, for one, welcome our new rum-soaked overlords.   :buck2:
Al

Gusington

Rum-soaked? The only thing rum-soaked around here is Star.


слава Україна!

We can't live under the threat of a c*nt because he's threatening nuclear Armageddon.

-JudgeDredd

Jarhead0331

Quote from: Gusington on April 01, 2015, 10:04:40 AM
Rum-soaked? The only thing rum-soaked around here is Star.

I think you must have misheard that...Star is most definitely soaked in something, but it only rhymes with rum. 
Grogheads Uber Alles
Semper Grog
"No beast is more alpha than JH." Gusington, 10/23/18


Capn Darwin

Sign me up for any Scotch based activities...going to be a long month... :idiot2:
Rocket Scientist by day, Game Designer by night.

Windigo

My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

mirth

"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Martok

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Steelgrave

So long as it ain't Curtis. Been there, done that  :P

Boggit

Aaaah! Where be the rum? O0 Time fer me Planters Punch!  :smitten:
The most shocking fact about war is that its victims and its instruments are individual human beings, and that these individual beings are condemned by the monstrous conventions of politics to murder or be murdered in quarrels not their own. Aldous Huxley

Foul Temptress! (Mirth replying to Gus) ;)

On a good day, our legislature has the prestige of a drunk urinating on a wall at 4am and getting most of it on his shoe. On a good day  ::) Steelgrave

It's kind of silly to investigate whether or not a Clinton is lying. That's sort of like investigating why the sky is blue. Banzai_Cat

mirth

If you dodge a cutlass, you can dodge a ball!
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

bayonetbrant

Go ahead and share your better April Fool's gags from the internet here

QuoteArmy looks to relocate Pentagon

WASHINGTON (April 1, 2010) -- Top Army officials unveiled plans early today to relocate the massive Pentagon building to the western part of Kansas sometime this summer.

"This move will be a huge undertaking, but we determined it was a necessary step as we realign our force structure," said one of the Army's top generals.

"Once we started investigating the possibility of the move, we determined that it was not only critical to our efforts, but that it would be good for our employees and the environment," the general continued.

The move, which is tentatively being planned for this August, will be one of the greatest undertakings ever attempted, according to the Wilbur Q. Johnson, who is a long-time Pentagon employee and who will also oversee the move.

"The move will take place in three primary phases," said Johnson. "Initially we will use a giant crane to lift the building onto a barge in the Potomac River. From there we will float the barge down the Atlantic Coast and into the Gulf of Mexico. Then, we will sail the Pentagon up the Mississippi River to just south of St. Louis. In the final stage, we will place the building on large flat-bed trucks and drive it the rest of the way."

"We aren't announcing exactly when we are going to do this for security reasons," said Johnson, "and we aren't announcing the final location either for the same reasons."

Although the final location hasn't been announced, interstate traffic in Kansas will be affected. "Those who drive on the interstate can expect significant delays. During this move, I-70 in Kansas will be closed to all traffic," Johnson warned.

Those who work in the Pentagon will only experience minor disruptions, according to Johnson. "We have sought the advice of the Navy and determined that we can just treat the building like a big ship as we move. All of the employees will basically be expected to pack as if they were going on a two-week trip and they will then remain in the building for the duration of the move," Johnson explained.

"We will make sure that we store enough food and water for the workers on that journey," said Johnson. "Additionally, we will maintain Internet connectivity via satellite during the move and use generators and solar panels for power."

On the day the move begins, Pentagon workers will be strongly discouraged from driving to work, as they will be unable to retrieve their cars, Johnson explained. "But, we will give building workers at least 72 hours notice before the move, so they can make the appropriate plans."

Editor's Note - This is really just an April Fool's Day joke. Everything in this story is fictional, including seeking the advice of the Navy. Have a great day.



Tom Brady messing with people after he posted pics playing pickup hoops with Jordan

Caption: Jordan's crossover is no joke!



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QuoteWe are looking for about 6,000 fans to fill Red Hat Amphitheater for one of the premier metal acts in the history of music. Thrash metal legends, Slayer, will take the stage on June 6th at 8pm. So be ready to show no mercy for the best ever, ever. Tickets are free if you respond to this ad before 11:59pm on April 1st.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers