Ballistic Missile Alert for Hawaii Sent in Error

[Pete Dero]

Maybe Kim Jon-Un's 'button' is smaller because he already made the switch to 3.5 inch floppy disks ?

Cue Donald Trump Tweet, "My disks are very hard.! Not floppy at all like Little Kim's!".

Stormy Daniels was paid $130.000 to keep quiet about the floppiness.  https://www.thedailybeast.com/porn-star-donald-trump-and-stormy-daniels-invited-me-to-their-hotel-room

[Gusington]

#covfloppy

[mirth]

^well played

[Gusington]

Thank you. Stuff writes itself.

[bayonetbrant]

[Sir Slash]

 

[bayonetbrant]

A friend of mine posted this on FB

After-action report on the false missile alarm in Hawaii, from Pornhub:
"On Saturday January 13, residents all across Hawaii received a text message at 8:07am stating that a ballistic missile was on [its] way to their island and advised they should take shelter immediately. With international tensions currently at a high, it's no surprise that the warning was taken very, very seriously. We can't begin to imagine what would go through someone's mind after reading that message, but based purely on the traffic numbers, it's NOT to be watching porn.
Based on real-time, per-minute pageviews, and compared to levels on the previous two Saturdays, our statisticians found a precipitous drop in traffic at 8:07am immediately after the warning was sent out. By 8:23am, traffic was a massive -77% below that of a typical Saturday. As residents were notified around 8:45 that the initial warning was sent in error, traffic began to return to normal and Hawaiians collectively breathed a sigh of relief. Those seeking further relief, headed back to Pornhub where pageviews surged +48% above typical levels at 9:01am."

[Barthheart]

 

[Gusington]

Fap until you can't fap no more.

[Sir Slash]

If that ever happens here, I'm going out in style with a Bourbon in one hand and a keg of ice cream in the other. Maybe I'll text my doctor to go screw himself. But.... if it is a false alarm, maybe not.

[Barthheart]

[OJsDad]

The guy that triggered the alarm has been fired. 

An AP story;

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/worker-who-sent-false-missile-alert-has-been-fired-had-past-performance-issues/ar-BBItwBx?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartanntp

The now-fired Hawaii emergency worker who sent a false missile alert that caused widespread panic and confusion had performance issues in the past.

A report released Tuesday from an internal investigation into the Jan. 13 alert says the worker confused real-life events and drills at least two previous times. State officials say he was fired Friday.

The report describes a drill leading to the mistaken alert. Even though the word "exercise" was said six times, the employee who pushed the button said he did not hear it.

According to the report, co-workers say he just sat there and seemed confused as others tried to let the public know it was a false alarm.
The administrator of the agency resigned. A second worker has quit and another is being suspended.

A mistaken missile alert that caused widespread panic and confusion in Hawaii has led to the resignation of the state's emergency management leader and the firing of the worker who sent the false warning.

Maj. Gen. Joe Logan, the state adjutant general, says Hawaii Emergency Management Agency administrator Vern Miyagi resigned Tuesday.

The employee who has been fired mistakenly sent an emergency alert to mobile devices and TV and radio stations warning of an incoming missile strike on Jan. 13. Regulators say he mistook a drill for the real thing.

Logan says a second worker has quit before disciplinary action was taken and another is being suspended without pay.

A corrected alert was not sent to mobile devices for nearly 40 minutes because state workers had no prepared message for a false alarm.

[bayonetbrant]

https://www.gq.com/story/real-story-of-hawaiian-missile-crisis