Yeah Magazine #10

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas, Part the Third

By Undercovergeek, 15 September 2012

A Crusader Kings II AAR, with all the seriousness of a cooler full of lunch meat

 

In Part 2 the foundations of my budding dynasty were built. Taxes were raised for the inevitable troubles ahead and the next generation of di Parmas were conceived.

 

ckii

 

Oberto Junior (from my ‘struck from the records’ first marriage) comes of age. He is a Grey Eminence, giving him a massive Diplomacy boost, he will make someone a kick ass Chancellor, and he ummmm, wears a bonnet? A beret? I’m told he’s down with the medieval kids.

 

ckii

 

This can’t be good, my liege Duchess Matilda declares independence from the HRE. The Kaiser says no and sends forth his troops. I didn’t think I’d be involved but I have a warscore counter on the screen – I’m just going to keep my head down and hope he doesn’t see our county.

ckii

 

This is what we were waiting for, our claim on Genoa. The Chancellor is instantly sent to the province next door to further our claims on Nice. We take the relevant hits and accept the claim. Fate smiles on our little venture as the entire Genoan garrison marches off West to fight in the Burgundian War of Independence. Two more Counts and a Duke declare independence from the HRE, in the ensuing chaos it’s time to march on Genoa with our massed armies…….

 

ckii

 

……errr warband? Mob? Gang? 292 heavily armed troops from Parma cross the border and set siege to the castle. 240 further troops are raised in Corsica, but without a friendly coastline to land on they set sail on a booze cruise around the Ligurian Sea instead. The siege actually moves on quite speedily but I want this over as soon as I can before the Genoans come back – it’s time to hire some down and dirty Mercenaries. For the numbers they bring and the cost of their monthly subscription fee, the Bulgarian Band are the best value for money, and they have serious moustaches……… and accordions.

 

ckii

 

I am Italian – I make love AND war.

 

ckii

 

Chiano? Really?

 

ckii

 

…….and Castore? Twin boys, the ****’s going to hit the fan at succession time, but with names like that they can always open a chain of hairdresser’s in downtown Parma.

 

ckii

 

There’s Dad, drumming up more recruits for us. I leave him on this mission for now.

 

ckii

 

I find my cousin a fine French woman, that and a Martial skill of 19 – many children will be sent to her sword fighting school.

 

ckii

 

1635 Genoans finally come marching over the hills to claim their County. 1427 mustachioed, instrument wielding Bulgarians turn to meet them. Within days Oberto has made a name for himself, it’s really going to suck if he doesn’t win this battle…
In our next part find out of the Bulgarians slice the Genoans into cold cuts or if the Genoans turn my Bulgarian mercs into bologna.

 


Recommended Loot

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *