Yeah Magazine #10

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas… Part XIX

We thought we’d throw you guys for a loop by bringing you the next installment of the Crusader Kings II AAR that won’t end the very next week, instead of, y’know, 5 months from now or something.

as always, click images to enlarge

In Part 18 Oberto recruited more plotters in his attempt to bring down Matilda, complicated his legacy by marrying for a third time and having twin boys, and found a patch of land to realise his dream. In part 19 he bullies a little girl, gets mugged in Firenze, and achieves greatness (sort of).

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And there it is, confirmation of our claim on the county and Duchy of Salerno. Oberto already owns Napoli, he needs Amalfi and Salerno itself to seize the golden headband. Also included in the Duchy is Taranto but the Muslims have stolen it, He’ll sort that out later.

 

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The Chancellor grabs us a claim on one of Matilda’s home provinces that could leady to the Duchy of Firenze. With a heavy heart Oberto has to turn it down, he’s currently emptying all the piggy banks he has, even the novelty, oversized whisky bottles full of spare ducats – going to war with Salerno will be costly enough as it is.

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Finally, with enough money in the bank he asks the fair maiden of Salerno if she would be willing to hand over the Duchy. She tells him where to shove it and the di Parma army is called into action. Alarmingly, at exactly the same time Matilda declares her independence from the HRE and goes to war – the s*** really hits the fan as the whole of Italy mobilises – Oberto and his holdings, Salerno, those regions owned by the Emperor and Matilda’s armies. Been a staunch supporter of the Emperor, Oberto sides with the HRE in the war against Matilda. Unfortunately, this means that all his armies (including the one he is at the head of) currently marching through Matilda’s land to get to Salerno are instantly jumped by the title stealing, land robbing, trouble causing, now with crazy grey hair nutter!

 

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Luckily he gets out of Firenze after one small skirmish, two small armies yet to consolidate with his are lost to Matilda’s main force of 3000. Napoli itself raises almost 300 and waits patiently for Oberto’s half-brother’s promised men. They arrive a week later off the coast of Amalfi….. both of them!

 

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Oberto consolidates his forces and marches on Amalfi, there is no resistance.

 

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Further along the coast it looks like the King of Sicily is getting a beating too – good, he’s still the first tier goal in Oberto’s plans

 

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Forces loyal to Matilda lay siege to Capua. With Oberto’s forces either stuck on the other side of Firenze, or besieging Amalfi it can only mean one thing – he gets out his big Bulgarian bugle.

 

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The moustachioed heroes of Sofia under the ever reliable Captain Radislav arrive in Parma, not the best of starts, Oberto summons his Admiral and the di Parma fleet. After a brief wait and no Admiral in attendance he discovers he has no Admiral or fleet (seriously, that needs fixing) so they battle their way through Matilda’s territory, escaping the attention of her main forces. They finally arrive in Salerno and get stuck straight in.

 

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After a year of fighting, Matilda’s forces are in ruins, her lands stripped of defenders and at the mercy of the Emperor and his forces. It would appear he’s also stripped her of the Duchy of Genoa and Capua, these are now claimable by Oberto as soon as the HRE has finished kicking her ass

 

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Salerno gives up, bends her knee to the will of Oberto and hands him the ‘GOLDEN HEADBAND OF POWWWWWERRRRRR’ (to be read in full He-Man ‘i have the power’ mode) – Arise Duke Oberto


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