Yeah Magazine #10

Prosciutto – Hamming it up with the di Parmas… Part XVIII

After a loooooooooooooong hiatus (we trimmed a few “O”s for space), UCG is back with another installment of the Crusader Kings II AAR that won’t end.  Thus outlasting Brant’s Civ V AAR and claiming the AAR longevity title.  For now.

In Part 17 Oberto fulfilled his ambition to become Chancellor of the Holy Roman Empire, started a plot against his old enemy, and realised his ambitions were stunted by his lowly social rank. In this part he decides to make his life more complicated, attempts to grow his plot and spies an opportunity down South.

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Oberto sits down with his advisors (which isn’t as easy as you think, the Emperor keeps sending him on diplomatic missions right across the HRE) to discuss his claims and opportunities for expansion. Despite being the Count of Genoa and Nice he still doesn’t have a claim on the Duchy of Genoa , that belongs to his rival Matilda.

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Similarly in Capua, he’s the Count of both provinces making up the Duchy but Matilda stole his claim to the title. He dreams of doing bad things to Matilda

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Whilst discussing matters of state with some foreign ministers of god knows where, the missus pops her clogs

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The skulduggery radar tells the randy old sod there’s a seventeen year old heir to the English throne sat in the tower of London, desperate to marry a faction leader

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Impressed with her claim and child bearing hips Oberto makes an honest woman of her. Awash with prestige (the man’s a legend) he opts for the cash

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A distant niece comes of age. Oberto summons the list of potential plotters against Matilda who aren’t married. A French mayor – he’ll do, for being offered a nubile di Parma he joins the plot against Matilda. It is said Oberto could be heard cackling and rubbing his hands together from two castles away.

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He’s that evil and cunning he can get his new Princess pregnant from four provinces away

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Peace and prosperity shine upon Parma and Oberto, until the quiet is split by the sound of a wailing child in the castle……….

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……and his twin. Oberto still hasn’t nailed down Primogeniture Succession laws, if he kicks the bucket tomorrow the di Palma holdings will be split amongst three different sets of sons. It might be time to start querying the need for some of the uglier, less talented ones

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Umm, Chancellor? Who’s that next door in Amalfi? The Independent states of Salerno, you say? What, with no Allies? No support from the King of Sicily? And it says here in my big book of nefarious deeds I have a claim on the Duchy of Salerno…………….. SOLDIERS!!!!!!!!


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