Category Archives: BotF AAR
CHAPTER XVI: MAKING FRIENDS AND INFLUENCING ALIENS
Well, I offered a Friendship Treaty to both the Edo and the Xindi. I didn’t expect the Xindi to offer me their own Friendship Treaty, which I accept heartily. I can now establish trade routes with them, and make even more money! Woo-hoo!
The Edo, unsurprisingly, rejected my Friendship Treaty. It’s going to take a little while before they’ll warm up. Usually, bribing a minor alien race is best done when you put about five turns between bribes, to ensure their effectiveness. So it’ll be about 20 turns or so before they warm up. Meanwhile, the bug-faces find themselves inundated by human trade ships, in something very akin to a California Gold Rush, or the Great Beanie Baby Scam of 1995.
CHAPTER XV: CONTACT! (FINALLY!)
A breakthrough in Construction! Phase Transition Bonding. Whatever that is. Oh wait, let’s read the description:
“Phase transition bonding merges two pieces of material by temporarily changing the phase of one item., When the phase distortion is reversed, the two pieces are inextricably merged, and the density of their intersecting volume is doubled.”
This allows for both Industrial Replicators and Type 4 Mass Replicators. Upgrading to newer versions of Mass Replicators can be a very expensive proposition. Well, expensive, in that it takes for-freakin’-ever to do it. This is why having a good, solid agricultural base is so important: you can drag people off of their farms, sometimes kicking and screaming, to working in a factory somewhere. Ah, the choices of an autocracy.
CHAPTER XIV: WHY ARE WE USING ROMAN NUMERALS IN SPACE?
We are exploring more and more of the vast galaxy we call home. And more and more systems are coming under our banner via colonization. So much so that I’ve stopped announcing each one, but because I’m a good person, I’m going to give you a bit of an overview of my systems and my fleet. Besides, it would be nice for me to know these things, being the leader of the Federation and all.
System-wise, the Federation (or more accurately at this point, the Terrans) occupy 14 systems, including Sol. Some are rather fat and bountiful; others are a bit thin, but not bad at all compared to the vanilla version of Birth of the Federation, where systems were sparse. It was like trying to find a free dollar in a whorehouse, or a surface without STDs in a Florida strip club. In other words, impossible. Just in case you didn’t get that.
CHAPTER UNLUCKY XIII
Aaaaand still nothing. My explorations to the Galactic West reveal two new systems, but there’s nobody home. Just some big, fat planets waiting for some big, fat corporations to exploit. Yay, progress!
This is the far end of the Galactic Eastern edge of the map. Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing out here. I’m going to ignore it from this point forward. Unless I have a massive lead in the game later, I’m not worried about empty space. My sense of wasting credits on outposts is overriding my OCD. Either that, or my Federation President alter-ego is wanting to save up for the next breakthrough in ‘Computer.’ I’m sure he has a lot of bad ideas of what that might entail.
Chapter XII: NO SNAPPY SUBTITLE
So let’s take a look at the intergalactic love-fest that is the human race. It’s been a while since the last update, and so that means as President of the…uh…Federation…something, it’s my duty to carry on the time-honored traditions of world leaders going off on vacation for weeks at a time, to play golf or something. I hate golf, unless it involves putting creds into stripper’s zero-G-thongs. (Hey – don’t judge. At least I’m honest, unlike most politicians.)
Here’s the Galactic Map, showing our slice o’ the universe as of our last outing. We haven’t even explored a quarter of this vast, wide galaxy, and we’re 160 turns into this game!
I KNEW I should have stuck with the small map…
In any case, it is what it is.
CHAPTER XI: TOUPEES AND TERRIBLE ACTORS
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The third Excalibur-class Light Cruiser is well on its way, and is named…wait for it…the USS Enterprise.
I’m going to send the Enterprise north, but further than the small fleet I have built up around the Excalibur. The Enterprise will help project Federation interests to the new colony worlds out there.
CHAPTER X: WELL HOW ABOUT THAT…
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Previously on The Real Starfleet World…we were waiting to hear what the name of the newest addition to Starfleet is. Well here we go…
Dearest readers, I give you the…USS Excalibur.
Well, that was…wait, what? “Excalibur?” They actually came up with a COOL name for once? I’m so proud I break out the Romulan ale (if we actually knew what a ‘Romulan’ was it might have more to it than simple green Tang) and tell everyone to dig in. I don’t tell them each drink is coming out of their paychecks. Mu-wa-hahaha…
CHAPTER NINE: YOU CAN’T UNSEE IT
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The last time I saw anything that disgusting was when a dancer named ‘Wolf 359’ bent herself so far over, she turned into a singularity and disappeared. I will not watch movies about people eating people any more. I have people to do that for me. The idea is sound, but there’s no reason the leader should be exposed to such trauma.
I’m staring at a pretty decent fleet, though it’s very civ-heavy. Meaning, more Troop Transports and Colony Ships than actual ships that can ‘bring the pain.’ Since we’re all flower children more or less, having a gigantic fleet-in-being is not only not conducive with Federation aims, it’s also a huge drain on the economy. It’s still early yet and I need to do some more colonizing so I can do some more taxing and graftin’ (daddy gotta get HIS) to support a large fleet. For purely defensive purposes, of course. And so far, my expansion is small, though that will change soon. I don’t like the idea of being spread out and having no good ships to defend myself should big ol’ greenie meanies come sniffing around my people like they’re sides of beef (Soylent Green was MY idea, after all).
Thing is, in Birth of the Federation, the Federation gets huge penalties for being war-like. Doing things like bombing planets into dust will piss off the population at large, so a little alien cleansing…IF we actually find aliens, that is…is not on the to-do list. But, I like to bring it up during the staff meetings every so often, just to see how many shades of pale I can make everyone sitting around the table.
God, it’s good to be the king.